There is this guy i know who loved this girl for 5 years. They were sooo close to eachother. She loved him madly too. She did everything possible to make him happy, and indeed he was very happy with her. He did everything to make her happy too, that's why she loves him until now. After 5 years of relationship, the guy decided to break up the girl because it is time for him to get married. He is soo hurt and it was difficult to make this decision for him but he did it. The girl is still chasing him after 1 year of break up because she can't be away from him. Oh yes, one thing i forgot to mention, the girl was married and had 2 kids but wasn't happy with her husband. She got divorced 1 year after she knew this new guy. She didn't regret of her divorce because her marrige was a force marrige in the first place and she doesn't care what people said about her. Mind you she is a respected girl and from a respected family. The guy really respects her and can't say a one single bad thing about her. Now he met my friend and he loves her madly and as he says that he never loved before and this girl is the first. My questions to the guy and his answers were:-

1) why you left her since you were happy with her and loved her?
His answer: You wouldn't understand this but we made it clear from the first what kind of relationship we are having. She knew that we won't end up in marriage. We did have soo much fun together and I really treasure those days and will never forget them.

2) But she did all possible things to be with you and you know that so why leaving her after breaking her marrige?
His answer: It was clear from the first what kind of relationship we are in. I know she loves me soo much until now, but she has to move on. I was not the main reason for her divorce. Never know, if she found someone who made her happy unlike her husband, it would have happened the same. I really respect the girl but we can't get married. It will make things complicated.

3) do you still love her?
His answer: No i don't love her. I loved her before but that was a different love not a love that i would want to marry her. But your friend, i loved her from the first sight. That's why my relationship with your friend is clear from the first. I want your friend for marrige nothing else. That's why i didn't dare to touch her nor forced her to do things she didn't want.

4) What makes you think you love my friend?
His answer: look, if i want to play on your friend, i would have left her long time ago if i don't get anything from the relationship. All the girls i went out with, i never loved any of them. It was clear with them where we are heading to and we knew our limits thats why i would do anything i want with them. but with your friend, it has been a month now since i have known her and i see her every single day but never dared to touch her nor even thought of that but i still die to see her every single day. If i wanted to have fun, then i would have broke up with her by now because i am not getting anything a playboy would want to get from a girl. i am only waiting for her to know me well and give me the sign and i will marry her. and believe me, she is the ONLY girl i loved and love, the rest i did not and forgot.

After finishing asking him all these questions, he was depressed. I asked him why is he depressed, he said he didn't want to remember all this that's why he is depressed.

Now my questions are:-

1)Do you think this guy really loved the divorced girl?

2) mind you the divorced girl is still calling everyday trying to get him but the guy doesn't pick up and in fact wants to change his mobile number so she won't contact him, do you think there is a chance he would go back to her ?even though he said that HE left her and if he wanted her, he would go back to her easily but he knows it is not right and he won't go back to her.

3) why would he be depressed if he doesn't still love her?

4) my friend is hurt because of all this. she is a very jealous type of girl and all this goes in her mind all the time which makes her jealous and upset, she wants to end up with this guy though she loves him madly and as i can see, he loves her madly too because he would do anything to make her happy. Do you think she should stick with him or break up?

5) how can one ignore the loved one's past?!

6) what do you think of all this?!

well what I can't understand is how would a girl go for someone who has been with other girls and touched them and all that :duh:
I never really understood this

OK so let me get this straight this guy had a relationship with a married woman (and it was said that there was no commitment as in marriage) so he then met a girl (ie your friend) whom he loves and wants to marry.

So i have one question if i read correctly your friend knows about his past?

If he has done this in the past what will stop him once he is married?

6) what do you think of all this?![/b]

smart guy, as usual *dumb* girl! :yawn:

well what I can't understand is how would a girl go for someone who has been with other girls and touched them and all that :duh:
I never really understood this

The difference here is this guy is very honest and told the new girl everything she wanted to know. Most guys do this and don't say. so it is something normal.

OK so let me get this straight this guy had a relationship with a married woman (and it was said that there was no commitment as in marriage) so he then met a girl (ie your friend) whom he loves and wants to marry.

So i have one question if i read correctly your friend knows about his past?

If he has done this in the past what will stop him once he is married?

Yes my friend knows about his past. he didn't want to tell her but he promised that whatever she wants to know, he will tell her. so he told her and now she is hurt to know all this because of jealousy!!

Regarding doing it once he is married, everyone had past relationship, this doesn't mean they will do it again when they are married and found the ONE.

yeah but i think thats exactly whats wrong with this world
but i wish everyone a happy life :yes:

Yes RD i agree but having done it so many times in the past well its just worrying.

Anyway i agree at least he was honest about his past but one thing he needs to sort out is the married women true he said that he ended it and she still calls but as you mentioned your friend is very jealous.

Will you friend be willing to let this guys past go? or will she keep reminding him of it all his life?

Yes RD i agree but having done it so many times in the past well its just worrying.

Anyway i agree at least he was honest about his past but one thing he needs to sort out is the married women true he said that he ended it and she still calls but as you mentioned your friend is very jealous.

Will you friend be willing to let this guys past go? or will she keep reminding him of it all his life?

the problem the girl is very jealous. the guy didn't want to tell her because he didn't want to distory everything between him and her because of his past which he doesn't think of or care about anymore. but the girl's type is jealousy. so if it is not this guy, the other guy who would marry her, she will still be insecure about him as well...so this is a problem in her..

I get you so this is an insecurity she has! oh well i feel with this guys past and this girls jealousy this relationship doesnt look very promising to me...
Whatever decision they end up taking i hope each of them end up happy

This doesn't look promising at all..
When a girl is jealous she cannot change the way she is.. Jealousy+a guy a like him.. very risky!

I have read all the posts in this thread and what sticks to mind is that this man is playing no matter what he says. He may have reached a point in his life where he wants to commit to one person but its going to be the women with 2 kids since she was just a play thing.

Men are simple minded when they want to have fun they do it without thinking twice and once they want to settle they convince the person they want to get involved with that they are the love of their life and try not to spoil things in anyway.

The thing that i will tell your friend is keep well away, why get involved with someone who has such a past. If he was not able to respect another man's property what would make him respect her (his soon to be wife)?
We learn from this world that people would say and do anything to get what they want....Alla kareem and inshallah would be able to guide your friend to the right choice.

My question would be what is she jelous about? The women(2kids) still keeping in touch with the man? or that he is giving her(2kids) a chance and talking to her?

1)Do you think this guy really loved the divorced girl?

Nope, him leaving her. Is a direct indication; that he didnt love her. Maybe as a friend but nothing more.

2) mind you the divorced girl is still calling everyday trying to get him but the guy doesn't pick up and in fact wants to change his mobile number so she won't contact him, do you think there is a chance he would go back to her ?

He needs to sort things out with this girl, if he is serious about this marriage. Ignoring her now isnt fair. When he got involved with whatever matters he did in the past, he took the responsibility of them. And so he should bare with all the consequences that come out of it. Which are now this divorced girl. He shouldnt runaway from her. If she was this friend he cherished and respect, then he should settle things with her for once and all. In the calmest and best way possible. And if she truely loved him, she will wish him best of luck and learn from such experience as she took also the responsibility of such friendship and as he mentioned she was aware of the criteria that is attached to it.

3) why would he be depressed if he doesn't still love her?

Being depressed as it seems isnt cause of love in this case as it seems. But either cause he is starting to regret his past, cause it might lead him to lose this girl who he wants to marry now. Or cause its just hurtful that things had to end up this way with for example this divorced friend he had.

4) my friend is hurt because of all this. she is a very jealous type of girl and all this goes in her mind all the time which makes her jealous and upset, she wants to end up with this guy though she loves him madly and as i can see, he loves her madly too because he would do anything to make her happy. Do you think she should stick with him or break up?

The question is; does she trust him or not? Does she have faith in him or not? Despite his past. Once she can answer those two questions, she will know if she can be with him or she cant bare it.

5) how can one ignore the loved one's past?!

Ignore? Not possible, forget with time, possible. It wont be totally forgotten. It could come up again from time to time. But with patience and growning faith between them. It will be an issue that wouldnt affect them. Though to reach to that level. Both require to have a solid ground and totally made up their mind NOW; on letting it go and not let doubt come between them.

6) what do you think of all this?!

I think its quite of the sad sad sad, NORMAL cases, happening these days. Guys or Girls with a past.. finally deciding to settle. Finding the ones they truely want to be with. But now this past is causing risk in such critical matter.

Though we have to give some bonus points to those who admit their doings. Above those who decide to hide it. And also knowing that their partners do want to know and let it go. If the partners rather not know, there is a chance this matter will go KABOOM, on a later stage. Which would be quite late. That might not happen, again cause it is too late, but it will cause a crack that wont be avoidable in most cases.

I have read all the posts in this thread and what sticks to mind is that this man is playing no matter what he says. He may have reached a point in his life where he wants to commit to one person but its going to be the women with 2 kids since she was just a play thing.

Men are simple minded when they want to have fun they do it without thinking twice and once they want to settle they convince the person they want to get involved with that they are the love of their life and try not to spoil things in anyway.

The thing that i will tell your friend is keep well away, why get involved with someone who has such a past. If he was not able to respect another man's property what would make him respect her (his soon to be wife)?
We learn from this world that people would say and do anything to get what they want....Alla kareem and inshallah would be able to guide your friend to the right choice.

My question would be what is she jelous about? The women(2kids) still keeping in touch with the man? or that he is giving her(2kids) a chance and talking to her?

Nooooooo...he is not the father of the two kids. the girl had the two kids before she knew him.

my friend is not jealous because of the kids. My friend is a jealous type of person. Only if she knew a guy dated before, she goes crazy and can't control being not jealous. so even if she meets another guy who only dated without doing anything, she will still be unhappy and jealous.

The divorced girl is still calling the guy but the guy doesn't pick up her call and he is going to change his number. He does not want to keep in touch with her before even meeting my friend.

[B]2) mind you the divorced girl is still calling everyday trying to get him but the guy doesn't pick up and in fact wants to change his mobile number so she won't contact him, do you think there is a chance he would go back to her ?

He needs to sort things out with this girl, if he is serious about this marriage. Ignoring her now isnt fair. When he got involved with whatever matters he did in the past, he took the responsibility of them. And so he should bare with all the consequences that come out of it. Which are now this divorced girl. He shouldnt runaway from her. If she was this friend he cherished and respect, then he should settle things with her for once and all. In the calmest and best way possible. And if she truely loved him, she will wish him best of luck and learn from such experience as she took also the responsibility of such friendship and as he mentioned she was aware of the criteria that is attached to it.

.

Well he tried to explain to the divorced girl in every way, but she doesn't want to give up on him. He told her it is over long time back but still she doesn't want to let go. Now he wants to change his number so she doesn't contact him but i think she will still follow him. According to him, he told my friend that the divorced lady is trying to know who is this new girl to distroy whatever is between her and the guy because she wants the guy. The divorced lady is a nice lady but she is insane about him and just can't let him go no matter what he told him. it has been a year they broke up but she still wants him back.

Sweet, i did not mention that he was the father of the two kids i was just using it to differentiate between the two women. :)

You friend has a problem with trust i am guessing that she was hurt once and this is effecting her now ( only my assumption)

Ignoring her is not the solution he should face her and talk to her making sure that he does not want her to be a part of his life and that they both need to move on. Are you sure that he tried to stop talking to the other women before meeting your friend?

Call me cynical but i have a low image of these type of men who would say and do anything ( change the story) to come out in a better light

[B]4) my friend is hurt because of all this. she is a very jealous type of girl and all this goes in her mind all the time which makes her jealous and upset, she wants to end up with this guy though she loves him madly and as i can see, he loves her madly too because he would do anything to make her happy. Do you think she should stick with him or break up?

The question is; does she trust him or not? Does she have faith in him or not? Despite his past. Once she can answer those two questions, she will know if she can be with him or she cant bare it.
.

She trusts him that's for sure. She has faith in him but the problem she can't forget his past. She remembers it all the time and it depresses her and makes her weak. She is a jealous type of girl. very jealous and impossible to control her jealousy.

This could be split into three main parts:

Part one: (the divorced woman). She is unstable in her emotions, and mostly under the feedback of failure of a relation ship (divorce). She rushed into a new relationship while still under the impact of the wrong experience she had. This some luck she met that emotionally immature man. Actually they don’t love each other, but each side has his own reasons and own motivations. She still needs him because a second failure is a horrible idea. If she loved him really she would never give a second thought to break with him, (opposite to what all people think). She will not stop trying till she reaches one of just two situations; either to meet another love which fills her emotional emptiness, or to change the source of her love and make it her kids till she normally meets the proper man.

Part two: (The young man). I call him young because even if he is over 50, still he is emotionally a teenager. This man doesn’t really know what he wants. He is honest to you because he is really feeling trouble. He will not stop on one station. He will keep visiting all “emotion fuel stations” and fill his emotions till he feels it is in a proper level then go ahead and consume it over sometime and then go back again to find another station to fill from it.

His promise of marriage is nothing to be relied on. Whenever he feels “full”, he will think that he will stick to this station because he really feels so, (which is translated as honesty in speaking to you), but as he moves he sees another station and he thinks that he will find what is more proper for him than the previous one… etc. I don’t think that such a person will stick himself to some kind of a commitment, even if he needed so. The best thing to describe him with is, that he doesn’t know what he wants.
In his previous love affair with the divorced woman, he was willing to give it a better translation as a friendship, of which will keep his conscience in peace.

He is smart and tries to get your sympathy by using facts, like when a thief steels two things from your house a dollar and bag of gold. He gives you the dollar and keeps the bag of gold, and confesses his theft and tells you that he didn’t steel the bag of gold and if he would have done so, whey should he returns the dollar back.

Part Three: (Your friend). She will suffer all her life if she married a man like him. She is jealous and that character is the last types of characters which can cope along with a man who have multiple histories. If he is honest of his love to your friend, he should tell her about his past, and I am sure if he is honest enough Allah will help him and make your friend forgive his mistake. But if insisted on not telling your friend about it then (mostly) he is willing to have a second chance, which is what I believe.

Last thing I want to tell you, is to remember that he knows that you can exspose his past relation to your friend, and (I think) that he knows that you are sympathized with him, and this is the point he approaches you from. If you know about this divorced women from the beginning and he is not the one who told you about it, so most probably I hit the point, and he is like what I have said. So think it over again and put your feelings away and I am sure you will get a better view of the whole story.

well what I can't understand is how would a girl go for someone who has been with other girls and touched them and all that

This was my impression exactly!!

This could be split into three main parts:

Part one: (the divorced woman). She is unstable in her emotions, and mostly under the feedback of failure of a relation ship (divorce). She rushed into a new relationship while still under the impact of the wrong experience she had. This some luck she met that emotionally immature man. Actually they don’t love each other, but each side has his own reasons and own motivations. She still needs him because a second failure is a horrible idea. If she loved him really she would never give a second thought to break with him, (opposite to what all people think). She will not stop trying till she reaches one of just two situations; either to meet another love which fills her emotional emptiness, or to change the source of her love and make it her kids till she normally meets the proper man.
.

She was divorced after she met him. It was an arranged marriage when she married her husband and had soo many problems together before meeting the new guy. She didn't agree to break up with the new guy, she loved him and still loves him and still wants him and to me it doesn't look like she will ever give up on him but he gave on her a year back and doesn't want to be in touch with her.


Part two: (The young man). I call him young because even if he is over 50, still he is emotionally a teenager. This man doesn’t really know what he wants. He is honest to you because he is really feeling trouble. He will not stop on one station. He will keep visiting all “emotion fuel stations” and fill his emotions till he feels it is in a proper level then go ahead and consume it over sometime and then go back again to find another station to fill from it.

His promise of marriage is nothing to be relied on. Whenever he feels “full”, he will think that he will stick to this station because he really feels so, (which is translated as honesty in speaking to you), but as he moves he sees another station and he thinks that he will find what is more proper for him than the previous one… etc. I don’t think that such a person will stick himself to some kind of a commitment, even if he needed so. The best thing to describe him with is, that he doesn’t know what he wants.
In his previous love affair with the divorced woman, he was willing to give it a better translation as a friendship, of which will keep his conscience in peace.

He is smart and tries to get your sympathy by using facts, like when a thief steels two things from your house a dollar and bag of gold. He gives you the dollar and keeps the bag of gold, and confesses his theft and tells you that he didn’t steel the bag of gold and if he would have done so, whey should he returns the dollar back.
.

Ok look, when the guy met the girl, true he was young, but now he is matured. He broke up with the divorced girl, and didn't want to date any girl. After one year of breaking up with the divorced girl, who still was following him until this day, he met my friend whom he loves madly as he says. He didn't want to date my friend, he wanted her for marrige. He saw her 3 months back and wanted her but didn't know how to get to her. Now after he got her, he wants her as a wife but the girl doesn't want to rush and regret so she told him to give sometime for them to know eachother.



Part Three: (Your friend). She will suffer all her life if she married a man like him. She is jealous and that character is the last types of characters which can cope along with a man who have multiple histories. If he is honest of his love to your friend, he should tell her about his past, and I am sure if he is honest enough Allah will help him and make your friend forgive his mistake. But if insisted on not telling your friend about it then (mostly) he is willing to have a second chance, which is what I believe.

Last thing I want to tell you, is to remember that he knows that you can exspose his past relation to your friend, and (I think) that he knows that you are sympathized with him, and this is the point he approaches you from. If you know about this divorced women from the beginning and he is not the one who told you about it, so most probably I hit the point, and he is like what I have said. So think it over again and put your feelings away and I am sure you will get a better view of the whole story.

Ok, regarding his past, no one knows about it. What he told to my friend, no one in Oman knows about it. 1) The divorced girl is not from Oman and doesn't live in Oman. 2) my friend and I asked about him and he is not known in Oman because basically he was not living in Oman, though he is Omani because his dad was an embasseddor so he was abroad most of his life. Only 8 years back he came to Oman. Though the girl was coming to Oman to visit him and he was visiting her, no one knows. If he didn't tell my friend, there is NO WAY should would have known all this and he assures this to her. He told her to go ask about him and if she gets only one bad record about him, then he will agree to break up but he is sure that no one knows and the girl asked and everyone says "he is a very nice guy and very respected". So if he didn't tell her, she would never know.

Regarding my friend, as i said before, she is a very jealous type of girl. This time of life, it is rare to find a fresh man who never had relationships before or was in love before. Even though this guy didn't want to tell her about his past because he thought it was not necessary, but he still told her because she wanted to know about it. Other guys can deny the whole thing and pretened like they never loved before or dated before.

This was my impression exactly!!

Oh pleaseeee, there is no guy who would go out with a girl and not touch her if she allowed him...NO GUY!! unless he is not straight. If the girl gave him a chance, why not!!

So I don’t think that there is any other way out of this except the truth for every one. And for that divorced lady, I think that what he says is not the full truth. Something is missing here!

After 5 years of relationship, the guy decided to break up the girl because it is time for him to get married.

I want your friend for marrige nothing else. That's why i didn't dare to touch her nor forced her to do things she didn't want.

All the girls i went out with, i never loved any of them. It was clear with them where we are heading to and we knew our limits thats why i would do anything i want with them. but with your friend, it has been a month now since i have known her and i see her every single day but never dared to touch her nor even thought of that but i still die to see her every single day.

From those three quotes the guy sounds like one of those Arab guys who messes around with girls with no intention to have a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. If he touches her before marriage; she isn't marriage material?

Its like the 'Would You Marry Your Girlfriend' thread. Basically all the relationships he had before this one were pointless and just for fun; he did not care about those women.

He fits the description of a player RD, he said 'all the girls I went out with I never loved any of them'. God knows what he did with these girls (and they with him).

If I was your friend there would be no way I would accept him with that sort of past, or that type of thinking.

like enigma and the rest said.. the guy looks like he still is playing around with girls.. and i think the only reason he broke up with the married one is cause he either got bored of her ! he doesnt sound like the type of men who would know the real meaning of LOVE .. since he keeps on saying he was truely in love with them everytime.. itz like a word tht would come out everytime he wants to prove something to u ...a word he use's whenever he feels like it.. i mean how can he leave someone he sayz he truely loved after FIVE YEARS? come on ... if u stay with someonne for FIVE years wht should be in ur mind is MARRYING HER .. not leaving her!!... well yeah i think he'z the type who would play around with girls minds and mess up thair life ..

You wouldn't understand this but we made it clear from the first what kind of relationship we are having. She knew that we won't end up in marriage.

I can never Trust someone with such mentality, It so clear the kind of relationship they were having.He is single , she is divorced!!!!

We did have soo much fun together and I really treasure those days and will never forget them.

Seriously, i cant blame your friend if she can't get over his past , it so clear from his own words that he cant get over too.

I loved her before but that was a different love not a love that i would want to marry her

By saying that he doesnt and never respected her YET he claimes respect toward her.

it has been a month now since i have known her

A month and he is already in love with her, wants to marry her . He just got out of a five year relationship ,He meets your friends and decides to marry her within one month!!!!... He sounds emotionally unstable to me.

This Guy's answers are not direct , he is trying his best to have your support with fancy wordings.
4) my friend is hurt because of all this. she is a very jealous type of girl and all this goes in her mind all the time which makes her jealous and upset, she wants to end up with this guy though she loves him madly and as i can see, he loves her madly too because he would do anything to make her happy. Do you think she should stick with him or break up?

No one can answer this question Except for your Friend , she is going to marry him , she should know better how capable she is in forgetting his past.

I am a jealous person and If i was her i'll let go of him, i'de rather live the pain for now than living it for the rest of my life.

I am a jealous person and If i was her i'll let go of him, i'de rather live the pain for now then living it for the rest of my life.

That would've been my answer too.

Alright, most of you here say that he is a player. I mean how can he be playing on my friend when his intention is to marry her?! He is very good looking, he is smart, he is rich, he got everything. He can marry any of those girls he met. But he decided to marry my friend so how can he be a player. He didn't use the phrase "i want to marry you" to play on her. He really wants to marry her but he is waiting for her reply to propose to her!

Like i said before, there is no guy who is 25 years old and never dated. NO WAY will you find a guy who never dated or loved at this age. So if you guys are saying that she shouldn't be with him because of his past then she shouldn't be with all guys because of their past. At least this guy was honest and told her everything right!

Honestly i agreed to all what DeSerTDesTroYeR said. It made sense. I am not saying what the rest said doesn't make sense, but i just agree to what he said. I think that since there is no guy at that age who never dated or loved, i guess my friend should start controlling her feelings and stop being too jealous otherwise she will end up with the same situation all the time she knows about a guy's past.

Oh pleaseeee, there is no guy who would go out with a girl and not touch her if she allowed him...NO GUY!! unless he is not straight. If the girl gave him a chance, why not!!

there are some god-fearing guys in the world :duh: or they are called "not stright" those days!!

Regarding your friend, it depends on her prefrences .. if she thinks she will be able to ignore such acts and deal with the guy as it is .. then she should go for it .. if I was her, I wouldnt gone for a guy who was a player in the first place. I might accpt a person who dated before but for a reason or another the relationship didnt succeed (yet I would like to know he touched the girl in whatever way it :rolleyes: ) .. but would never want to be with a guy who was a player!!!

there are some god-fearing guys in the world :duh: or they are called "not stright" those days!!


Yes there are but i don't think i met a guy who is soo religious from the day he was born. That means, there are times where he loved and dated but then he became religious and stopped. I still think that there is no guy who never loved or dated.


but would never want to be with a guy who was a player!!!

Ofcours, no girl would want to be with a guy who was a player, that if she had a choice to choose. but when there is no choice, the girl has to choose from a guy who dated/loved or dated/loved. ya3ni she has no choice. She has to be with that person and only pray to God that he changes as he said!

but when there is no choice, the girl has to choose from a guy who dated/loved or dated/loved. ya3ni

when she limits her choices, she gets what she limited herself to ;)
and there are guys who never dated or loved, I know few of them and am sure more exists out there!!

I think that since there is no guy at that age who never dated or loved, i guess my friend should start controlling her feelings and stop being too jealous otherwise she will end up with the same situation all the time she knows about a guy's past

No it doesnt work that way! No two Guys are the same , each one's past is different than the other one's, there are certain things a gurl can accept about her man's past .In this Guy's case his past is haunting him and her, both can't get over it. What really bugs me about him is his attitude toward this divorced woman , I know both held guilty not only him ,but this whole issue of loving her , being with her but she's not a marriage material yet he respected her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jealousy is something in YOU , you can't control it , you can't do anything about it ,(based on my own experience) therefor, you can't ask someone to change something that they have no control on, she should think over and over before committing to him.

RareDiamond, what do you think conclusion will be, because it seems that this will never end! :no:
You have recieved a lots of ideas, what would you think the answer will be?

He is such an as$hole. As Enigma said:


If I was your friend there would be no way I would accept him with that sort of past, or that type of thinking.

Tell your friend to look for some other bloke :barf: . He doesn't deserve her. That's his own misfortune that his past is haunting him. He desrves it after making other women suffer for his pleasure.

He makes me so angry. :fire:

. Mind you she is a respected girl and from a respected family

No, she is not a respected girl.

Now ask me why?

I know am somehow drifting but what was the main cause of the divorce? I didnt get it, is it him or something else?

Why are you all blaming the guy, maybe it was clear from the beginig but she was just sooo much in love that she didn't really see the truth..

OK ya what was the main cause of the divorce :(!!

smart guy, as usual *dumb* girl! :yawn:

Sad but so true. What on earth was she thinking? I can kinda see where she's coming from in wanting to be with someone who will marry her and provide a home for her and her kids but c'mon. She probably thought she could change him after he said he wasn't looking to marry her but she should've known better cuz her position makes her more vulnerable. Although I don't agree with her getting into a relationship with this guy, I can't find it in myself to say she deserves it.

As for your friend RD, if I were here I'd forget about this guy. He's got too much Bolloywood-style baggage for me to handle. He really can't be that worth it.

Oh pleaseeee, there is no guy who would go out with a girl and not touch her if she allowed him...NO GUY!! unless he is not straight. If the girl gave him a chance, why not!!why not????
this is laughable why not?
simple
religion if you need any thing better then that how about "would you like it if it was your sister"
From those three quotes the guy sounds like one of those Arab guys who messes around with girls with no intention to have a serious relationship .don't generalize it's much worse in the west

Yes there are but i don't think i met a guy who is soo religious from the day he was born. That means, there are times where he loved and dated but then he became religious and stopped. I still think that there is no guy who never loved or dated.
why does dating always imply touching and all that? you can be dating when your engaged under supervision
no one is born religious but you do learn about your religion and whats right and whats not


He is such an as$hole. As Enigma said:
Tell your friend to look for some other bloke :barf: . He doesn't deserve her. That's his own misfortune that his past is haunting him. He desrves it after making other women suffer for his pleasure.

He makes me so angry. :fire:
well isn't the other women at fault to? she's still calling him and all
the guys gets sweared at but nothing at the girl
the blame should fall on both
him for doing all that
her for allowing him to "have fun" with her

well isn't the other women at fault to? she's still calling him and all


I have a soft spot for those of my gender ;) .

She did everything possible to make him happyshe should have saved the effort, and instead made her kids happy and save her marriage for the sake of the kids atleast!!

rather than being hungry for other men....

I have a soft spot for those of my gender ;) .that's the prob

No, she is not a respected girl.

Now ask me why?

LoL...yeh I guess because she betrayed her husband. She wasn't happy with her husband in the first place. anyhow she shouldn't have betrayed him anyways.

I know am somehow drifting but what was the main cause of the divorce? I didnt get it, is it him or something else?

Why are you all blaming the guy, maybe it was clear from the beginig but she was just sooo much in love that she didn't really see the truth..

OK ya what was the main cause of the divorce :(!!

Look the girl had problems with her husband before even meeting this guy. If the girl was happy with him, she wouldn't have looked at another but her marrige was an arranged marrige. At the time she was depressed and unhappy, she found someone else (Which i know she was not supposed to do). The guy made it clear to her from the beginning that they won't end up in marrige. The girl agreed but i guess after sometime she fell in love with him and now she can't let go of him. When they were together, he would go out with other girls and she knows that but wouldn't do anything because she knew what was the purpose of the relationship!.

RareDiamond, what do you think conclusion will be, because it seems that this will never end! :no:
You have recieved a lots of ideas, what would you think the answer will be?


Well I don't have a final idea but most of you gave me a solution of "My friend shouldn't be with this guy". But what makes me wonder is why blaming the guy!. Lets be frank here. 90% of the guys sleep with girls before marrige. 85% of them never admit they did. When one admits, he consideres to be a bad guy and should be a black listed!.. Come on, all girls know that this is true but they will still marry the guy if they love him because they know the guy will change and as our culture and society look into this topic as it is normal for a guy to do this!. God will punish the man who commit this sins but not the soceity.

Now if the guy decided to leave all these rubbish he did in the past, and wanted to settle with a girl for good, why should a girl reject him for something that was done in the past not while with her!. I am sure everyone has done something in the past they regret. Most of you would not admit to their future husband/wife. So when this guy admited everything, things that the girl would never have known, why blame him for his past!

As what I see, the problem of the divorced lady and the guy should be sorted out between them before him getting married. The guy already decided to change his numbers so the girl won't contact him. (Mind you this was his decision, the new girl didn't ask him to do that). After things are sorted out, then he should marry the girl he wants (Which is my friend). everyone deserves a second chance.

where did you get those percentages from?

and if 90% sleep with girls then 90% of the girls have slept with men

i'd like to belive otherwise

where did you get those percentages from?

and if 90% sleep with girls then 90% of the girls have slept with men

i'd like to belive otherwise

LooooooL....percentage from top of my head. Ok sorry guys don't go shouting at me now. I am not saying those percentages are accurate. But you can see lots of guys go out with Westerners and don't end up marrying them or go to these countries where the girls are easy to get!!...I am sure you know what i am talking about! Plus doesn't mean if 90% sleep with girls, then 90% of girls sleep with guys....90% of guys could sleep with 20% of girls.

lol
90 with 20
but you know it's not only in the west
it's hapening in GCC countries now
maybe 75% with 45%

Look the girl had problems with her husband before even meeting this guy. If the girl was happy with him, she wouldn't have looked at another but her marrige was an arranged marrige. At the time she was depressed and unhappy, she found someone else (Which i know she was not supposed to do). The guy made it clear to her from the beginning that they won't end up in marrige. The girl agreed but i guess after sometime she fell in love with him and now she can't let go of him. When they were together, he would go out with other girls and she knows that but wouldn't do anything because she knew what was the purpose of the relationship!.

ok then by this, I think its her problem so why blaming the guy. Yess he might be a player but thats a different case (we are not talking about how playfull he is SHAME ON HIM) butttt butt we are discussing the fact that if he loved her or not or if he was a bad guy to her. If they agreed upon the friendship and she AGREEEED since she is the one who is married and all the responsabilites on her THEN its her mistake, he didnt force her to love him so why then he should be the one carrying the baggage!

I think he regrets all kind of relationships he had simply because its going against him by only this one case.. The only responsible part in his side was to CLEARIFY it from the begining, when the love started to beging, STOP that feeling of her's by any means, not now after she's soo sooo much in love with her.

Personal opinion, I do care about someone's past BUT I forgive fast, if he is a trustoworthy and he truely means his new love then she should trust him, people change, and i think teenage is the phase where most week people fall in the trap.

Man god bless humans, :tiered: very sad, I don't know how desperete someone can be but cheating while you are married is just horrible, NOT even a signle excuse can satisfy me.. I think she is the one to blame, and him as well.

lol
90 with 20
but you know it's not only in the west
it's hapening in GCC countries now
maybe 75% with 45%

Now where did you get that percentage from :scratch:

I think 75% is too little...it should be 90%

45% hmmmmmmm well if you are talking about the Japanesse and Russians, i guess it is too much as well.

the same source you got
i mean it's hard to imagine 90% with 20%
it's like what the girl is sleeping with a guy 12 hours a day?

the same source you got
i mean it's hard to imagine 90% with 20%
it's like what the girl is sleeping with a guy 12 hours a day?

LoooooooooL you really make me laugh. But this estimate is possible. I mean there are girls whose jobs are mainly this! so 12 hours a day is possible!

LoL...yeh I guess because she betrayed her husband. She wasn't happy with her husband in the first place. anyhow she shouldn't have betrayed him anyways.

3alaiki noor, then don't come next time and tell us she is a respected girl and she is an example of a "nashiz" wife. She is not happy because of following her evil thoughts and the Satan otherwise she should have some respect for her husband and her religion. Shame on such wife!

3alaiki noor, then don't come next time and tell us she is a respected girl and she is an example of a "nashiz" wife. She is not happy because of following her evil thoughts and the Satan otherwise she should have some respect for her husband and her religion. Shame on such wife!

Inshalah Boss...but honestly i don't know this divorced lady. All what I am saying is what I heard from my friend. What she says is what she heard from that guy!.

....90% of guys could sleep with 20% of girls.

then it seems that I know alot of those 10% who wouldnt go to the grade of sleeping with a girl coz they fear Allah, alhamdulilah!!!

raredimond, not because you are surrounded with people who would do that means that everyone does it!! I am not saying that there arent people who would do that .. but I dont agree with you generalising it because you "hear" about them or you know them!!

then it seems that I know alot of those 10% who wouldnt go to the grade of sleeping with a girl coz they fear Allah, alhamdulilah!!!

raredimond, not because you are surrounded with people who would do that means that everyone does it!! I am not saying that there arent people who would do that .. but I dont agree with you generalising it because you "hear" about them or you know them!!

I agree or are we just optimistic? :sorry:

then it seems that I know alot of those 10% who wouldnt go to the grade of sleeping with a girl coz they fear Allah, alhamdulilah!!!

raredimond, not because you are surrounded with people who would do that means that everyone does it!! I am not saying that there arent people who would do that .. but I dont agree with you generalising it because you "hear" about them or you know them!!


not that we are optimistic, i know alot too :os or maybe i just don't hear what you hear or witness what u witness.....

okay now to comment about this guy.. i just wanna say that if this guy was a REAL man, (law kan rijjaal) he would talk to the divorced woman and settle things once and for all, because u cant just leave a woman hanging like that.He needs to talk to her face to face maybe and tell her that it is over and why, and to just sort things out with her.
As for the jealous woman.. well i can never get jealous women to be honest.. this guy can be playing around with all of these women, and yet he is after ur friend. So if anything it is the DIVORCED woman who should be jealous. Point out to ur friend that the guy not answering the womans calls, and still being with her is a good sign, and if she is extremely jealous (of nothing) then they aren't going to make it in marriage at all.

What do i think of all this? well i honestly think that a guy should go on a bit of a break after a relationship.. even if it was a small break, so as to make sure that no loose ties are left, so to speak.
And well.. boys will be boys.. it is clear that this person isn't a real man. He obviously didn't love the divorced woman, while she loved him.
He now loves ur friend, but she is too jealous to trust him.

Drama!!

well being a guy
It's sad thet that figure might be true
but they do most of thier sleeping with omani girls thats why i say the women's % shuold be higher
and I agree with what nk said

Just another one of those obvious players whom girls should just stay away from.

And it seems there are MANY that we hear stories about! or am i just imagining things..

there are many of both

Am i not reading what you people are reading or am i just to far away from reality? Why are you all blaming the guy for being a player when she was the source of all the hussles?

He from the begining stated that it was just a friendship, he did not show any love emotions so why blaming him for the most part?

I think both of them did play a role. She was just too weak and irresponsible and he wasn't firm enough about the friendship ONLY part..

I think we should close this topic, it's not right to talk about people we even don't know in this way espacially in Ramadhan. I hope it's not '3aybah!

okay now to comment about this guy.. i just wanna say that if this guy was a REAL man, (law kan rijjaal) he would talk to the divorced woman and settle things once and for all, because u cant just leave a woman hanging like that.He needs to talk to her face to face maybe and tell her that it is over and why, and to just sort things out with her.
As for the jealous woman.. well i can never get jealous women to be honest.. this guy can be playing around with all of these women, and yet he is after ur friend. So if anything it is the DIVORCED woman who should be jealous. Point out to ur friend that the guy not answering the womans calls, and still being with her is a good sign, and if she is extremely jealous (of nothing) then they aren't going to make it in marriage at all.

What do i think of all this? well i honestly think that a guy should go on a bit of a break after a relationship.. even if it was a small break, so as to make sure that no loose ties are left, so to speak.
And well.. boys will be boys.. it is clear that this person isn't a real man. He obviously didn't love the divorced woman, while she loved him.
He now loves ur friend, but she is too jealous to trust him.

Drama!!

The guy faced the divorced woman and told her everything and told her to stay away but the woman is just a super-glue!

The guy broke up with the divorced woman for months before even knowing my friend. He is sure he doesn't want the divorced woman.

Am i not reading what you people are reading or am i just to far away from reality? Why are you all blaming the guy for being a player when she was the source of all the hussles?

He from the begining stated that it was just a friendship, he did not show any love emotions so why blaming him for the most part?

I think both of them did play a role. She was just too weak and irresponsible and he wasn't firm enough about the friendship ONLY part..

No he was firm from the beginning and the woman agreed but being soo weak, she fell in love with him. As of my self, i think he shouldn't be blamed.

I think we should close this topic, it's not right to talk about people we even don't know in this way espacially in Ramadhan. I hope it's not '3aybah!

No one is talking about anyone in particular. I am the only one who knows the people involved. The rest of the people commenting in this thread are just giving their point of view and advices. So I dont think this is '3aybah. The purpose of this thread is to know what people think of this situation.

There is this guy i know who loved this girl for 5 years. They were sooo close to eachother. She loved him madly too. She did everything possible to make him happy, and indeed he was very happy with her. He did everything to make her happy too, that's why she loves him until now. After 5 years of relationship, the guy decided to break up the girl because it is time for him to get married

well then if he was just friends with her, then there is no reason to break off the "friendship"... it sounds like they did/had a more intimate relationship than that though!! ... maybe the guy didn't give the divorced woman a proper reason as to why they were breaking up.. he needs to give her an excuse.. even if it was a lie.. something convincing.. as long as its for the better of all people concerned..

so your telling me
women accept men who go having fun with other women
and the coming to them?????? :duh:

so your telling me
women accept men who go having fun with other women
and the coming to them?????? :duh:

No woman will accept that. Most men won't admit it when they have fun with other women and admit to the girl they want to marry that they were playing around before. However, this guy said the whole truth about his life because he wants to open a new page. It is up to the girl to accept him and forget his past or dump him and hope the other guy who will marry her will tell her the truth!

true
but this is my logic a player desrves a player

thank you! and i totally agree!!