I was reading a true story today about a woman who was sexually abused, molested & raped by her grandfather for many many years. She grew up to fear intercourse and would freeze up at any hint of it. She married an extremely understanding man, who stayed married to her for 30 years without having sex. After therapy she overcame her fear and was open to it.

The husband's stand on this amazed me. Most guys would either divorce the girl or cheat on her but he didn't. On some level I do understand how important a good sex life is for a couple and so if a husband OR wife requested a divorce on that grounds I suppose its acceptable.

My question for you guys, and girls, is whether you would stay married to someone who for some reason (psychological or physical) couldn't/wouldn't have sexual relations with you?

In case no.1 he/she might be cured so you would stay waiting until that day. Or would you?

In case no.2 you love them, have a GREAT relationship but there is no option what so ever that they would be able to sleep with you. Basically you would live your whole life celibate.

I can't. I would be very frustrated, that I may not even treat husband right.

Sophis while you're not married right now you aren't frusterated right? Why would it be such a big problem for you? On the upside you'll get to enjoy all the other benifits and joys of marriage.. it'll just lack 'one' thing ;)

Marrying such a women is absurd and how can a lady with such problem get married?
And would you please let us know the source plz? It seems like fantasy dear. :(

30 years, i don't believe it. Possible if the man had no sexual urge. :(

It was a case that Dr. Phil wrote about in his Life Strategies book.

*trying very hard not to say something sarcastic*

Marriage is all about compramises and sacrafices, which loves makes room for.

Plus sex isnt everything. And I dont think I'd get frustrated. I think frustration only comes after actually doing it. I've heard that, once you tasted it. Thats when you get the desire of wanting it.

I think i could, i think

If i luv him, definitely i will , atleast i'll be blessed with his company and i get to sharre my daily life with him. The only thing is he has to agree on adoption, 30 years is too much for me to remain just a woman and not being a mother , who knows if i'll be able to have babies after 30 years :os .


sophis^catrina I can't. I would be very frustrated, that I may not even treat husband right

I think i understand your point of view , the idea of being allowed and not being able of having it , might be frustrating. ;) :p

Sophis while you're not married right now you aren't frusterated right? Why would it be such a big problem for you? On the upside you'll get to enjoy all the other benifits and joys of marriage.. it'll just lack 'one' thing ;)


How did u even come to that conclusion :twitch: ? I better not comment much. One of the major reasons for me to get married would be to "have sex" . Top thing for me in a man is "good lover". Go figure :p.

I think frustration only comes after actually doing it. I've heard that, once you tasted it. Thats when you get the desire of wanting it.

I think i understand your point of view , the idea of being allowed and not being able of having it , might be frustrating

You guys don't understand my point of view. It's not abt the psychological idea (as you girls have portrayed), but a biological need. And we know people have different levels of needs.... that's you answer ;) .

For example, if I find out that my husband is very cold in bed on the first night, I would already start feeling concerned big time.

You guys don't understand my point of view. It's not abt the psychological idea (as you girls have portrayed), but a biological need. And we know people have different levels of needs.... that's you answer .

oK now i get it ,and i totally understand. ;)

life without sex? :scratch:

difficult but not impossible!

ill marry her if she is rich!

wait what makes us sure that the husband didn't sleep around while waiting for his wife to come around?

30 years, i don't believe it. Possible if the man had no sexual urge.


It's obvious he doesn't.


wait what makes us sure that the husband didn't sleep around while waiting for his wife to come around?

Or probably he is impotent.

If i luv him, definitely i will , atleast i'll be blessed with his company and i get to sharre my daily life with him. The only thing is he has to agree on adoption, 30 years is too much for me to remain just a woman and not being a mother , who knows if i'll be able to have babies after 30 years .

Wow, you're so sweet and romantic *amazed*. I ain't that romantic.



Hitman! Yeah right! You would survive not having sex with her, but you would definitely look for it elsewhere!

How did u even come to that conclusion :twitch: ? .

I didn't. I'm trying to get you to talk ;) Your answer was so short.

Hitman! Yeah right! You would survive not having sex with her, but you would definitely look for it elsewhere!

dear, if i marry her, i wont look for it elsewhere!

it'll just lack 'one' thing ;)

But this one thing is a huge factor for marriage.

Anyways, I believe that man who stood up by his wife for 30 years with no sex is extremely great. I salut such man.

In my case, I can not really say whether I will stay with her or not, because I did not go through this process yet. Though, for now, I can not be as brave as him and bare the 30 years without making love to her. If I ever managed to stay with her for such period, then most probably I will live most of my life depending on p~rn movies, or maybe marry another lady along her (as a second wife). But the thing is, if I did not love this woman from the begining, and I got to know she can not have sex for such fear before marriage, then I won't marry her. But if i fell in love with her, and lived Romeo's dream, then I believe it would be very hard to decide on this.

I agree with Sophis .. no matter how romantic we want to be,, and how easy it sounds to be away from that important factor in marraige .. but its hard .. and almost impossible .. its a biological need Enigma!

Some people would marry for just satisfying their sexual needs. This type of people would never accept such a situation.

Other people do marry for making a family. This type also would not accept such a situation.

Other people would marry for both (sex and family) and this is the normal type. Still this type would not accept such a situation.

Few people do marry for love. This is the only type who would accept such a situation, and try to manage themselves someway or another. True … Love can do miracles!

is whether you would stay married to someone who for some reason (psychological or physical) couldn't/wouldn't have sexual relations with you?

In case no.1 he/she might be cured so you would stay waiting until that day. Or would you?

No matter how hard it will be on me, I believe that I could stay in such relationship, if and only if my husband truely deserves for me to make such sacrifices.

My parents came from an Caribbean country where sex is viewed as extremely important in a marital relationship and I was therefore raised with such concept too. Living without a sexual life would be as if half of myself is living, but I could wait if I know that my partner can be cured, wants to be cured and most importantly is worth for me to wait...

Very interesting topic Enigma!

My question for you guys, and girls, is whether you would stay married to someone who for some reason (psychological or physical) couldn't/wouldn't have sexual relations with you?

In case no.2 you love them, have a GREAT relationship but there is no option what so ever that they would be able to sleep with you. Basically you would live your whole life celibate.

In case no.2, the situation is worst as there is absolutely no hope that we can have any intercourse at all!

Such case could be maybe 'acceptable' if my partner is a wanderful man at all levels and does his level best to still satisfy me sexually in other ways. However, I can't really imagine accepting such situation, if I didn't previously enjoy with him a normal sexual relationship and this for quite a good amount of years.

If my partner can't have intercourse at all and even refuses to engage in any other sexual activities which could replaced what he can't do, then I might not leave him immediately but will eventually do it at a long run...