Is the fairytale true love real? Do people actually find that sort of thing in another human being? Most humans are selfish, stubborn and careless.. yet I might believe there are some (few though, very few) who would do anything for someone they truely loved.

Do you believe you will ever find that incredible person whom you'd slay dragons for and they for you?

A lot of people say relationships are about compromise, and theirs is far from perfect. But have you ever met a couple who's relationship seems fit to be in a movie/book? We are bombarded constantly by books and movies that show us how supposedly love 'is' but when we face it in real life we realise its nothing like the movies!

Ever been/seen a relationship that was what you would call 'true love'?

Think there's hope for all of us, or are only some ppl blessed with this?

I've always believed in 'true love' and 'soul mates', yet as you grow up and get hit by the reality of this life, you start to question wether what you've always believed in is true, or applies to reality.

Maybe I still try to believe in this. It just gives you more hope about the future and about people in general. I still believe in destiney, and I still try to tell myself that there are people out there who can give you that kind of love, they're probably not many, but you should always keep this faith in you and look for beauty inside others.

And then of course there are times when I promise myself that I'd stop watching those fairy tales true loves stories because they just pump too much illusional hope into you.

Now leaving my romantic ideas aside, let me talk more realistically. Those people who can give you true love are probably not many. But, in real life, relationships need a lot of work from both sides. Love itself won't be enough to get you through, but it's the basic element which without, there could be no strong relationship.

Ever been/seen a relationship that was what you would call 'true love'?
I've seen a few strong relationships, I can probably call them true love, but I can't really tell you that, it's the people who are in the relationship are the only ones who can tell. But yes, I guess I've seen it in a few.

Think there's hope for all of us, or are only some ppl blessed with this?
And why can't you be that blessed one? I always tell myself that I deserve someone who can show me true love, we all do, and of course, there's hope for each and every one of us.

Are we looking at it wrong? We wait for someone to come and make our lives perfect. Why cant be the ones go out and make someone elses life perfect?

(metaphorical)

But how do u find someone who's worth doing that for? Most ppl aren't!

I believe in true love, but not in the concept of 'the one'. I don't think that there's only one person out there you can fall madly, deeply in love with. I think people are capable of falling in love again and again, just that it's different each time.

I think that it's rare to find someone who would do almost anything for another. Yes, people are selfish. I for one know that I would never do something for someone if I were against it.

I think everyone can fall in love, but only some are lucky enough for it to be a really great, true, unselfish love.

Well true love was there but not any more. The more people see from this world the more they lose thier faith n fear. A person will go after what he wants even if that means to hurt someone. There are many many realationships n so many love stories but there gotta be an error. I mean its the humen nature. :rolleyes:

Talking just about love, the relation is something else, i believe in the chance to find the true one though very difficult cause i expect it to be a total give to the other and since we all have a bit of egoist love for ourselves, hmmm well don't really believe in it.
The soulmate...all say i will find for sure...when i ask how n when they don't answer :os i mean they in general :duh:

I agree with PT. We shouldn't expect people to come and offer us endless love. WE should make someone else feel that way. If everyone thinks the same way as our friend PT here.. then we wouldn't be complaining!

the concept of soulmate actually came from greek mythology.. it was said tht people first existed as 2 ppl basically stuck together.. different genitals, 2 heads and 2 bodies.. and one day one of the gods got angry or sumthin and sent a bolt of lightening that went right down the middle of these people.. therefore creating man and woman.. and so it was believed that for each and every person, a person that completes them existed somewhere in the world.. i like that concept.. but i dont really believe in it..

Yes I've actually seen such a relationship. So this proves that true love does exist after all. Personally, I enjoy reading romance novels and watching romance films but I can never imagine myself being involved in a love story.

I think everyperson sees love in thier own way and define it accordingly .. this is why, sometimes you see a couple and say: eeee what made them love each other? when they are living a life filled with love!!

If you live it according to what you define though, you will be lost .. you have to start defining it when you have met somone who shares with you a feeling that you cant explain. Then, thats is love!!

I think the definition of true love is a bit messed up. True love doesnt only mean that you have to 'slay dragons' as u put it enigma , it could also be that no matter how hard things may seem , u'll never want to let go , no matter how impossible situations get.. you know that u will do anything to make it work. thats true love in my dictionary..and yes.. i have found my treasure.

I think the definition of true love is a bit messed up. True love doesnt only mean that you have to 'slay dragons' as u put it enigma , it could also be that no matter how hard things may seem , u'll never want to let go , no matter how impossible situations get.. you know that u will do anything to make it work. thats true love in my dictionary..and yes.. i have found my treasure.

Aww that's one of the sweetest replies I've read so far.

Nabs, your way of expressing true love, is EXACTLY like 'slaying the dragons' in the fairy tales. Only difference is that your dragon nowadays would be the tough situations and big mountains you have to cross and bare to win the heart of the woman who deserves it. :)

yep.. very romantic i must say!!

If people would not receive s. "education" (=corruption) in school (but would be taught the appropriate things at the appropriate time, i.e., immediately before marriage), not attend mixed schools, would not have boy/girlfriends before the age of marriage or with a relationship leading nowhere, i.e., with no intention of looking for a candidate for marriage, would not watch movies, and read romance novels; if they would be taught standards of modesty in thought, speech, and action from childhood, and be shown such an example by parents, relatives, friends of the family, and other significant others, they would then have a realistic conception of love and relationships, and marriages would be fulfilling and lasting.

To cut it short, if people lived in a cave...

that's the way it used to be not too long ago, historically

if people took inculcating proper values and standards of modesty seriously, as Orthodox Judaism practices and teaches that everyone should follow (see sites in signature), it could be a reality again

Ive known people who have been in a relationship for years, only to realise later that it wasnt true. Scares the hell out of me.

That's good Fruit-boy. Don't rush man, give all the love you've got, but don't jump into that golden cage for a while!

Ive known people who have been in a relationship for years, only to realise later that it wasnt true. Scares the hell out of me.


And it wasn't true because.........?

It wasnt true because, to quote a friend, after a while 'the butterflies just died'. What worries me is that how can you not see that coming? After some 3 years, how can that happen? And how can one possibly tell the difference butween 'true' and untrue?

The Torah teaches that marital estrangement doesn't happen automatically. A marriage is like a plant. If it is constantly watered and maintained, it will grow and flourish. If not, it will wither and die, G-d forbid.

A "true" marriage is one where both partners are devoted to constantly going out of their way to maintain the relationship. An "untrue" one is where one spouse takes the other for granted, only takes and doesn't give.

It wasnt true because, to quote a friend, after a while 'the butterflies just died'. What worries me is that how can you not see that coming? After some 3 years, how can that happen? And how can one possibly tell the difference butween 'true' and untrue?

I can't answer your questions, but I think they were lucky the butterflies lasted that long!!!

People shouldn't expect the butterflies to last more than a few months. :os It's just from excitement since the relationship and everything is new..

..or am I wrong? :os

You are right, and therefore its not love. So what is 'true' love then, the kind that lasts forever, and how does one differentiate? Im probably alone on this, but Im not interested in the temporary butterfly type of love, not my thing, but meeting someone truly special is something to look forward to.

But you can't have the butterflies forever, no matter how much you think you love the person.

But then how do you know if someone is right for marriage? What if you are convinced they are THE ONE, and all that, and you get engaged, or even married, and suddenly you realise its not right...what then? I dont want to ever be in that situation.

I don't know!! :weep:

But you can't have the butterflies forever, no matter how much you think you love the person.
Pheonix i dont think thts true! y cant sum1 have the butterflies forever? i mean if ur married and the butterflies r still going, then there u go! my parents have been married for abt 30 yrs plus and they still have the butterflies !! theres proof tht u can have it forever! it just depends on u and ur luck, and how compatible the two of u r together!
it's a rare thing to get butterflies in the first place.. so i think when u get it u should enjoy it while it lasts.. if its still strong.. marry them!

But then how do you know if someone is right for marriage? What if you are convinced they are THE ONE, and all that, and you get engaged, or even married, and suddenly you realise its not right...what then? I dont want to ever be in that situation.

For a marriage (or a relationship) to last you do not just need love, you need hard work. There are times in which you will wake up thinking "what am I doing with this person? He/she isn't attractive, I've made a mistake.", other times you will be thinking "I cannot live without this person. He/she is the most amazing person and is the special 'one" ". Love flactuates, depending greatly on how your partner responds to you and also your own mindset. Normally at first when you meet a person you may even instantly know whether you two suit or not, or whether he/she is the "one". But to make it last, the "person" does not just have to be "right", but the circumstances and the way you both act also has to be "right".

A marriage that has lasted for over 50 years did not last that long, because they were perfect for one another. It lasted that long, because they both decided that they were going to work very hard at it. That even when they were not speaking to one another, argued constantly and had a period when the butterflies suddenly vanished, they would find some way to compromise and make it work so that those butterflies would come back.

As monothiest summarised it beautifully;

A marriage is like a plant. If it is constantly watered and maintained, it will grow and flourish. If not, it will wither and die, G-d forbid.

A "true" marriage is one where both partners are devoted to constantly going out of their way to maintain the relationship.

Is the fairytale true love real? Do people actually find that sort of thing in another human being? Most humans are selfish, stubborn and careless.. yet I might believe there are some (few though, very few) who would do anything for someone they truely loved.

Do you believe you will ever find that incredible person whom you'd slay dragons for and they for you?

A lot of people say relationships are about compromise, and theirs is far from perfect. But have you ever met a couple who's relationship seems fit to be in a movie/book? We are bombarded constantly by books and movies that show us how supposedly love 'is' but when we face it in real life we realise its nothing like the movies!

Ever been/seen a relationship that was what you would call 'true love'?

Think there's hope for all of us, or are only some ppl blessed with this?


Back to Nigmy's question, it all depends on fate. There are 6 billion people on this earth, there must be someone out there who is perfect for you. It all depends on whether you'll be lucky enough to meet this person. Some people wait for a pretty long time to find this person (perfect person could be more than one) . Others are much more interested in getting married for the sake of marriage, rather than the sake of marrying a specific person and therefore marry earlier. Obviously there are people who you'll be much more compatible with than others and this will effect how hard you will have to work in the marriage.

it all depends on fate. There are 6 billion people on this earth, there must be someone out there who is perfect for you. It all depends on whether you'll be lucky enough to meet this person. Some people wait for a pretty long time to find this person (perfect person could be more than one).

I agree with what you say about fate. The question is: how does one find one's destined mate?

The Torah teaches that "true love" is only possible within the framework of marriage. What I see as the main problem nowadays is that people often don't seek a marriage partner. They just sort of wait until he/she shows up on their doorstep, falls in their lap. Until they "fall in love," because that's the way it's supposed to happen, right? I mean, can so many romance novels and movies go wrong?

So they have relationships, of course, but without any intention of marriage. They'll get married when they feel like it, when it's convenient and "cost-effective." If ever. And if that's their attitude to marriage before it starts, when they get around to it, how seriously will they take the marriage itself?

So with this attitude, it's no wonder that people don't find "true love."

But you can't have the butterflies forever, no matter how much you think you love the person.
Pheonix i dont think thts true! y cant sum1 have the butterflies forever? i mean if ur married and the butterflies r still going, then there u go! my parents have been married for abt 30 yrs plus and they still have the butterflies !! theres proof tht u can have it forever! it just depends on u and ur luck, and how compatible the two of u r together!
it's a rare thing to get butterflies in the first place.. so i think when u get it u should enjoy it while it lasts.. if its still strong.. marry them!

And what exactly makes the butterflies last? Do you think it depends on the person you're with? That if you're with someone who is right for you, the butterflies will be there forever?

Also, if you're with someone and the butterflies don't last long, what does that tell you? That maybe they're not the 'right' person for you...?

Butterflies don't last, ever. Butterflies are for the very beginning when you are getting to know eachother.

When its right, the butterflies evolve into something more precious; a deep love that doesn't need the extra rainbows & mush for it to continue.

If the butterflies dont evolve.. it wasn't right.

*Phew!* okay. I was getting worried there, because most people don't have butterflies for more than a month or two.

When its right, the butterflies evolve into something more precious; a deep love that doesn't need the extra rainbows & mush for it to continue.

lol yeah sorry thts wut i meant.. the luvvv grows on, but its still luv! that "chemistry" is still there..

if the butterflies go and ur not interested in the person nemore then u jus got bored of them.. but if it transends to a dif. level then its all good! :)
and if it duznt work, dont cry cuz its over or be angry.. smile cuz it happened :)

I agree with what you say about fate. The question is: how does one find one's destined mate?

The Torah teaches that "true love" is only possible within the framework of marriage. What I see as the main problem nowadays is that people often don't seek a marriage partner. They just sort of wait until he/she shows up on their doorstep, falls in their lap. Until they "fall in love," because that's the way it's supposed to happen, right? I mean, can so many romance novels and movies go wrong?

So they have relationships, of course, but without any intention of marriage. They'll get married when they feel like it, when it's convenient and "cost-effective." If ever. And if that's their attitude to marriage before it starts, when they get around to it, how seriously will they take the marriage itself?

So with this attitude, it's no wonder that people don't find "true love."

I like your post very much, and while we may differ on how to go about it, I agree with you on many fundamental points. :)

Thanks! :)

I do believe in True love 100% no doubt about it. I always set there and wonderd how would it really feel?! yes we have heard stories regarding true love, but actually having to go through it your self, its just something totally different!

I must say - finding true love these days is just so hard. You would find ppl married and for so many years but they are just not compatible together at all. And that is when a question rises on my head, how did they make it all this years?!

The thought of being with someone who you don;t feel love true love for, and you would really do whatever you can for them is something I can;t get it through my head!

I do thank god every single day of my life to bring me a man that i am madly in love with. That I would do anything for him, his my soul mate, my friend, my partner in life, and most of all my love and my beloved husband!! :love:

This is to just tell him that - you have made life worth living for, and the thought of not having you in my life is something I can;t even sit and imagin, thank you for being you, and for making me a happy woman every time i wake up in the morning! I love you my husband, so very much!! :angel:

This is to just tell him that - you have made life worth living for, and the thought of not having you in my life is something I can;t even sit and imagin, thank you for being you, and for making me a happy woman every time i wake up in the morning! I love you my husband, so very much!! :angel:

Give me his # to sms that to him :).

I believe there's nothing like "true love". There's a best possible match for every person in this world, who can satisfy their significant others ... but, knowing that someone will come your way and light up your life, is a wrong way of looking at it.

well then let us know which way we are supposed to look at it?

Take a proactive view. Life isnt about love, its something that comes naturally. You wait for it, be prepared for a long wait. You go out, live your life, achieve your goals - and stumble across somebody wonderful - it works out a lot better. Just dont dwell on it.

Thats how I see it anyway. But then again, let the experienced do the talking (as in, Im not experienced, so I cant really talk).

Okay here's the idea of an 'unexperienced' girl PT,

I can't remember my first post since it was ages ago, but anyway, since I've always had the idea, I think I said something similar. Yes, I believe that you live your life trying your best, reaching out and following your goals. You meet people, you bulid your own personality, and you live a busy filled with new experiences life, and then it's probably fate, that would put that special person in your way, through your struggle, and the two get to help each other and support each other, that's how I believe it should be. It's not about having to find love as the centre of your life and you do nothing about it, it's something we all seek, yet we don't determine our entire lives trying to find it, when the right time comes, you'll meet that person, and it'll take you both to make it work.

Shinoda, come on, you can't be serious! Maybe with a lot of cases it is a good match, yet you should also believe in true love, it's never possible. Never say never!

Shinoda, come on, you can't be serious! Maybe with a lot of cases it is a good match, yet you should also believe in true love, it's never possible. Never say never!

It really depends on how you term the "real love" of your life. One moment of your life you might come across a person who you'd want to spend the rest of your life with, BUT that doesn't rule out the chances of others being at a greater advantage of being your 'soul mate'.

Get my point? You marry a person who really satisfies all your needs and you call him/her your soul mate. Another person comes along who's just as good or even better suited to you, maybe? You wouldn't think about her in 'love' terms at all, since you're married. BUT, if you weren't married, you'd probably have married the second person rather than the first? :p

Sorry for going all around there, but my point is ... we, as humans, can't really talk about an 'ideal' since its a superficial thought. I'd still stick with my "best possible fit" case! :D

well then let us know which way we are supposed to look at it?

I believe PT pretty much covered what I had to say. Don't sit at home, not go out, wanting to meet the girl of your dreams ... if you don't reach out, you'll probably never settle down with that kinda girl. That said and done, don't over do it and take your chances with almost all kinds of girls too! :p