I really dont understand what kind of men are they!! husbands who abuses their wives either physically or verbally ... regulary insulting her & her family , beating her up to the point where she'll be hospitalized ! :fire:

what surprises me the most WOMEN who accept this , they keep quiet and get used to it ... :angre:

Now ,If you are in such situation what would you do , would you ever consider divorce even if you have Kids ?

How do you deal with this situation if Divorce is not an option for you ?

Why do u think some women adjust themselves with the abuse ?

Why would any man do this ? are they normal ?

Now ,If you are in such situation what would you do , would you ever consider divorce even if you have Kids ?
Definitely leave the guy. I won't be able to stand him, let alone be civil to him. I don't care whether I had kids or not, no man is ever going to humiliate me in that way. It doesn't even have to go to the extent of physical abuse, just mental or emotional abuse is enough of a reason for me to end the relationship. Once someone loses respect for me and treats me unfairly, they're on my black list forever. No second chances.

How do you deal with this situation if Divorce is not an option for you ?
Why wouldn't divorce be an option? I'll fight to get a divorce. Islamically, I do have the right to a divorce if I'm being abused.

Why do u think some women adjust themselves with the abuse ?
Because they're worried about what other people will think about them, they're scared that if they tell anyone about it it'll get worse, they think it's normal, etc.

Why would any man do this ? are they normal ?
No, this is not normal at all. Men who abuse their wives are sick and need serious help. They were probably bullied as a child, and did not get the proper education needed.

what surprises me the most WOMEN who accept this , they keep quiet and get used to it ...
Many situations are complex and see involved other people: some of these women are threatened to the extreme, some others get used maybe, some think is better for the sake of the family.
No idea of what i'd do cause is difficult to imagine a solution for an event i never lived, yes obvious saying yalla i go away, but dunno really...

Now ,If you are in such situation what would you do , would you ever consider divorce even if you have Kids ?
I wouldn't want my kids to be raised in such a violent atmosphere where they'd feel insecure. I myself would feel insecure living with him in the same house so yes I'd consider divorce as an option. Marriage is all about respect, compromise, trust and commitment so a lack of one of these would make the marraige a living nightmare. It wouldn't work out.

Why would any man do this ? are they normal ?
Probably 'cause they've experienced it when they were kids. No I don't think they're normal.

Now ,If you are in such situation what would you do , would you ever consider divorce even if you have Kids ?
Are you sure I married this guy? I can't imagine myself with someone like that. Anyway, lets ASSUME that he's likes that.. then I'd leave. I can't take crap from men and he'll probably get a taste of his own medicine (yes, time for those 'self defense' courses!) :D

How do you deal with this situation if Divorce is not an option for you ?
Er.. Is killing him an option? :inno:

Why do u think some women adjust themselves with the abuse ?
So many reasons! Lets say she's financially unstable and her parents don't want her in their home, or she has been abused all her life and considers this normal. OR maybe the man's abusing her mentally and making her think its HER fault that he's hitting her... to name a few!

Why would any man do this ? are they normal ?
Define 'normal' and I'll tell you. But in most cases they do this because they have been abused at some point in their lives.

a Friend of Mine is going through this .. !! yes am talking about an Educated, 21st century couple!

Now she came to me for an advice !.. i didnt directly tell her what to do.. but i did say If i was in your situation i'll ask for Divorce .. this is what she answered me

as pheonix said
Because they're worried about what other people will think about them,
also she hates to be called a divorcee!! Finally for the child's sake!

so i told her to involve her parents or his parents .. i was soo angry at her
yet feeling so sorry for her :sorry: ..

I find myself in no position to tell anyone GO get divorced ..But i asked her to go and Get HELP NOW .. tell your parents .. she agreed on that.. I hope she did by now...

Cerulean
So many reasons! Lets say she's financially unstable and her parents don't want her in their home, or she has been abused all her life and considers this normal. OR maybe the man's abusing her mentally and making her think its HER fault that he's hitting her... to name a few!

In these Cases One can Justify ,, But this Friend of mine is an independent working woman, had such a healthy & loving family life !! ughhh i get so angry when i remember!

Now ,If you are in such situation what would you do , would you ever consider divorce even if you have Kids ?

First of all I'd beat the crap out of him. I may be thin and without muscles but you can be sure I'd do my best. Then I'd get divorced. Notice I said GET not 'consider'.

do you deal with this situation if Divorce is not an option for you ?

Treat him like crap!

Why do u think some women adjust themselves with the abuse ?

Women are raised to believe they are weaker than men, that they are not as tough as them so they don't fight back. Plus they are afraid, afraid of it getting out to public, afraid of loosing her kids, afraid of making the situation worse, afraid of loosing a financially comfortable life.. the list is endless.

Why would any man do this ? are they normal ?

Plenty do it! No I wouldn't say they are normal, if a man is beating his wife he's either got major childhood problems or a mental illness.

First of all I'd beat the crap out of him. I may be thin and without muscles but you can be sure I'd do my best

Enigma ..

LOL ,, i like that gurl ..way To Go..
although i doubt it that ,any woman can stand up in front of a man and fight.. they get too emotional that physically they become weak i guess.

or maybe they become Full of rage and end up cutting them in to pieces!

Now ,If you are in such situation what would you do , would you ever consider divorce even if you have Kids ?
I hope Inshalah I wont go through such situation or he's gonna feel sorry for him self, cauz beside what I'm gonna do for him there r taugh men behind me who gonna have no mercy on him ask me!! :rolleyes: (No all my chances for getting married is gone :gap: :D ) Ofcourse I'll think of divorce even if I had kidds cauz I'll better raise them in healthy normal life instead of leting them live with such freak who might distroy them emotionally!!!

How do you deal with this situation if Divorce is not an option for you ?
I have many ways to make him feel sorry for the moment he married me & bigg me to go out of his life ;) Beside my family help ofcourse!

Why do u think some women adjust themselves with the abuse ?
As the other says : fearing from what ppl gonna say when they get divorce, want their kidds to live between 2 parents, also many of them just don't have the courage to start a new life away from their past life which they used to, so they try to adjust them selves to continue their current life!!! They think it's easier!

Why would any man do this ? are they normal ?
When man feel insecure & he is less than his wife or she is better than him, he might do wors than this to destroy her trust on her self!!
As u said your friend independent working women maybe this is Y!! He jealouse from her career which is better than his own!!
& I'm sorry to say It is somehow her fault cauz she didn't stop him in the begenning or she showed him by her attitude & kindness or even obaying every thing he says that he has the right to control her emotionally & control her mind!

U did good when adviced her to go to her family for help, so that ediot knows she has some one beside her & fighting for her rights. If he didn't get back to his mind then she better ask for divorce & raise her kidds by her own & he must pay them money & she is working so she shouldn't fear about her financial situation.

When man feel insecure & he is less than his wife or she is better than him, he might do wors than this to destroy her trust on her self!! [

you Got that Right 100% ..

& I'm sorry to say It is somehow her fault cauz she didn't stop him in the begenning or she showed him by her attitude & kindness or even obaying every thing he says that he has the right to control her emotionally & control her mind!

again you r right .. thats exactly what i told her..

Women should take self-defence classes.
I know someone whose husband used to abuse her (physically). She had taken a class on self defence. She used to hit him right back. :p A$$hole deserved it!

I think the wife should give her husband other chances after all may be he has a good reason to treat his wife like that. It all depends on the suitation and asking for a divorce is not a first solution. Because she could end up without a husband and destroy her life.

I think the wife should give her husband other chances after all may be he has a good reason to treat his wife like that.

There is no reason in the whole world for a husband to abuse his wife (and vise/versa)


It all depends on the suitation and asking for a divorce is not a first solution. Because she could end up without a husband and destroy her life.

Whats so destructive about leaving an abusive situation. Id rather be alone 4ever than to be with an A-hole like that :tiered:

A man that can dare and raise his hands on a woman, I see that man as a complete coward. I got no respect for such man, and to me they are just animals!!!

I believe this very strongly – once a man raises his hands to hit you, just know and keep this in mind that he will get worse and worse by day, and the best advice is to just leave him, because his not a man but an animal!

Phoenix
Women should take self-defence classes

thats a good idea :D
for some reasons , some women dont like the Idea of Violence even if its for self defence

IceTea
think the wife should give her husband other chances after all may be he has a good reason to treat his wife like that. It all depends on the suitation and asking for a divorce is not a first solution. .

Why is the woman always to be blamed !! .. in The case am talking about the man is purly a jerk..
even if the woman has done something no man has any right to beat up a helpless woman to be ended up in a Hospital

Because she could end up without a husband and destroy her life

any woman is better off being single than living with a beast

DorellaM

Whats so destructive about leaving an abusive situation. Id rather be alone 4ever than to be with an A-hole like that

Exactly !!!

Neena

I believe this very strongly – once a man raises his hands to hit you, just know and keep this in mind that he will get worse and worse by day, and the best advice is to just leave him, because his not a man but an animal!

In some Hopeless cases ,just like my friend's case , separation is the only solution.. there are other cases where men realise their stupidity and become better ppl.. those are worth the try ..