Theory:
If a problem arises in a relationship, which is less important than the relationship/love itself, then it must be discarded.

Basically, whatever problem you have that you disagree on, as long as things are equal within the relationship, you get rid of the problem.

ie- A guy doesn't like his girlfriend going out with guy friends. If the relationship and/or love is more important to the girlfriend than hanging out with guy friends, she will stop hanging out with her guy friends.

Do you agree?



Obviously there are extreme cases..

ie- A guy doesn't like his girlfriend going out with guy friends. If the relationship and/or love is more important to the girlfriend than hanging out with guy friends, she will stop hanging out with her guy friends.

Do you agree?
Yes if also the opposite can happen: the guy must understand the importance of friends for her gf and be ready to leave his jealousy aside.
There are priorities for one of the couple that non necessarily are the same for the other: til there's a balance in small everyday problems on both sides then is fine but many times one of the two must be stronger than the other and sacrificing him/herself. For some is ok and lasts til death do us part , for some others doesn't work and can overcome the importance of the relation, so is better to cut.

Yes, if that would make him happy!

Theory:
If a problem arises in a relationship, which is less important than the relationship/love itself, then it must be discarded.

Basically, whatever problem you have that you disagree on, as long as things are equal within the relationship, you get rid of the problem.

ie- A guy doesn't like his girlfriend going out with guy friends. If the relationship and/or love is more important to the girlfriend than hanging out with guy friends, she will stop hanging out with her guy friends.

Do you agree?



Obviously there are extreme cases..

No I don't agree. It is not always the case. For example, a girl can love a guy very much and the other way around. He asks her to stop talking to her long long male friends just not to make him upset, not always the case the girl will stop or the guy will stop talking to girls if he was asked. There is no formal committment between the two, so why should she/he quit talking to the opposite sex friends?? what if the BF/GF didn't continue being together? so that means she lost her long dear friends!!

I was talking about girls, but this goes the same with guys. None of them have the right to say "Stop talking to the or that" until they are engaged formally.

I dont mind at all.. bcoz i dont have any guy friends :p .. and i dont want 2 ..

BUT he has to stop talking to his girl Friends as well.. what he imposes on me should be practiced on him First!

besides why would he wants to have girlFriends if he has me!! :irk:
I should be his ONLY girl friend :D e7im...

well thinking outside the example mentioned .. ofcourse it always depends whats the pirority ..

however, the two side have to understand the other party and use the powers fo convincing instead of just imposing thier opinons..

like, my marraige is more important than sabla .. what if my husband woke up one day and told me to stop posting.. I will give him his wish if he gave me good reasons!!

I dont see the problem as long as you respect your boundries and inform the other party in your life

You talking about gf/bf relationship or marriage?

Anyway, generally, Yes I think the girl should obey him if he has good reasons in the case of gf/bf relationship. Marriage is always different. If he was her husband then she should obey him without questioning. He has the right to prevent her from going out with her guy friends.

Yes I totally agree :yes:

Relationships are alllllllllllllll about compromise, and if there is something you are not willing to stop for your partner then there's something more important to you than your partner is! Simple.

I don't agree with that theory at all.

He: I don't like it when you see other guys. Even if it is platonic, it worries me.

She: Ok.

He: I don't like it when you go out with the girls for lunch. After all, I consider them my friends and I'd like to see them, too.

She: Ok.

He: It makes me very nervous when you talk on the telephone with your family. After all, I'm the one you married and your promised to make me the center of your life.

She: ?


When one partner is constantly muttering "I don't like it when you do suchandsuch and this is threatening our relationship" the other partner has a choice of settling for a shrunken and incomplete world or leaving the relationship.

I would not give up my friends because my guy is insecure and doesn't trust me enough.

Somehow I don't think a married woman should hang out with guys even if they were her close friends and even if she treated them as her brothers.

Of course, it works to a point. Ive known people who've broken up because of one too many of these 'small issues'. It reaches a point where it changes froms sacrifice to shackles.

I know that you do have to compromise in order to make a relationship work, but I'm not willing to give up things in my life unless I have a pretty convincing reason to do so. "I'm jealous" or "I'm worried" does not count.

Unless it's morally wrong, I'll keep on doing what I do.. I'm very stubborn.

yeh i agree, if the guy friends r pretty close (i have 1 or 2) and my bf asked me to stop seeing them, i would refuse. I mean who is he to dictate who i speak and not speak to? its like the others said, if u let him (even in marriage) start dictating ur life from the beginning, then thts how its going to be for the rest of ur life.. and he will keep restricting u from doing things gradually as the years go by, until u cant do anything! unless there is a reasonable explanation then i'd have to put my foot down!

yeh i agree, if the guy friends r pretty close (i have 1 or 2) and my bf asked me to stop seeing them, i would refuse. I mean who is he to dictate who i speak and not speak to? its like the others said, if u let him (even in marriage) start dictating ur life from the beginning, then thts how its going to be for the rest of ur life.. and he will keep restricting u from doing things gradually as the years go by, until u cant do anything! unless there is a reasonable explanation then i'd have to put my foot down!

I completely agree! :app: :yes:

As I've said elsewhere, relationships should not be pursued without genuine intentions of considering marriage, so as far as "rights" in "BF"/"GF" relationships are concerned, I don't think there's anything to discuss.

As for marriage, I agree with MeSmEriZeD that "I don't think a married woman should hang out with guys even if they were her close friends and even if she treated them as her brothers." Thus, I believe that the husband's request in this matter should be respected, and furthermore, the wife should not behave in such a way in the first place.

As for marriage, I agree with MeSmEriZeD that "I don't think a married woman should hang out with guys even if they were her close friends and even if she treated them as her brothers." Thus, I believe that the husband's request in this matter should be respected, and furthermore, the wife should not behave in such a way in the first place.

It may not be appropriate to the older generation, but us, the new generation are usually okay with having friends of the opposite sex. I for one have a few guy friends, and I treat them just like my girl friends. There's no difference, really. If someone had some very good guy friends, who she has known for years and years, should she ditch them just because her husband thinks she should? I know a lot of girls would listen to their husbands, but I for one wouldn't, because I know my limits. Friends are friends, nothing more. As long as I am not doing anything wrong, I don't see what the big deal is.

Why wasn't it okay for members of "the older generation"?
And do you REALLY think that there's no difference between guy friends and girl friends?

It may not be appropriate to the older generation, but us, the new generation are usually okay with having friends of the opposite sex. I for one have a few guy friends, and I treat them just like my girl friends. There's no difference, really. If someone had some very good guy friends, who she has known for years and years, should she ditch them just because her husband thinks she should? I know a lot of girls would listen to their husbands, but I for one wouldn't, because I know my limits. Friends are friends, nothing more. As long as I am not doing anything wrong, I don't see what the big deal is.

It is very easy to say that because ... the moment when you find the right person you will put him on spotlight.. if it is your bf you are not going to ditch your friends even if he asks you to do so you may choose to walk out on the relationship.. But incase of your husband you will do it as listening to what he says. there might be some issues that are going to hold you back.

I have a very close person who is paying a very high price for that mistake. I know what I am talking about..

Without even your husband telling you not to have male friends... why would a woman even have a best male friend while her husband is there... the only thing there is that you are going to create problems for your marriage.. this is how i see it.

Lets face it.. I will be angry if i findout that my husband has a best friend who happens to be a female.. best friend is like sharing things.. i dont like that idea.. and i know he wont like it as well for me to ave a male best friend thats for sure.. so why should i bother.. I have friends and that is enough.. whenevr time allows you get together sit as a group and talk.. what do you want more..

even those male friends wants they get married, its a guarantee that they will change..

Phoenix,

When it comes to your husband you will ditch your best male friends or unless if you choose to walk away from your marriage and be with your friends.

Because you will be having problems and no communication. thats not the only factor.. there are others who have acutally bee asked to quit their jobs and they didnt have any choice other than to quit work.

A marriage is a commitment and a sacrifice as well. I know this for a fact that a woman will have to sacrifice lots of things when it comes to mariage. It is all up to you on how much you can sacrifice including your male friends.

In our society this is a big deal for a a married woman to have a male friend.. it has been like that in the past and it is still the same in the present.

I agree! It is not appropriate for a spouse to have a member of the opposite gender as a close friend. If that entails a sacrifice, so be it.

MeSmEriZeD
Anyway, generally, Yes I think the girl should obey him if he has good reasons in the case of gf/bf relationship. Marriage is always different. If he was her husband then she should obey him without questioning. He has the right to prevent her from going out with her guy friends.

absolutely Right !

Somehow I don't think a married woman should hang out with guys even if they were her close friends and even if she treated them as her brothers.

what about married Men or Involved ones ? should they have Female Friends and hang out with them ? what If wife/partner does not agree ?
or in our society its always OK for men and Big No for women ?

It goes both ways.

monotheism

thats what i Hope, coz i think in our society for men having female friends is more acceptable than women having male friends !

As I said, I find them both unacceptable.

why would a woman even have a best male friend while her husband is there.....

Totally agree. Her husband should now be her male best friend now. Married life is different from being single. You are now commited to that other person and have to be selfless to some extent.

I wouldn't like it one bit if he had close female friends that he would talk to for hrs as the days that he was single. In fact I would get jealous and suspicious. It's human nature. Plus I wouldn't trust the woman , after a while her feelings could change towards him and she could start falling for him (True! Happens lots of times!) ... for example, if my husband and I argue with one another, and then he goes telling her his problems with me, he may find her understanding and could start having some sort of attraction towards her. Anything is possible. Therefore I would try and do anything so that would not happen. That's why I wouldn't be surprised if he asked the same of me.

As monotheism said:~

And do you REALLY think that there's no difference between guy friends and girl friends?

Exactly. There is. You could start viewing your guy friend in a different light and therefore fall for him. While with girls, that doesn't happen (unless she's bisexual I suppose).

I am not saying that you should ditch your friends. I am saying that you cannot be close to them as you used to be before. There is a limit. See them at some gathering, dinner party... or better yet go to the dinner with your husband... but you cannot be talking and chatting as often as close friends do. You've chosen to be married, which means that you have to take on the responsibilities that go with it and will have to change some parts of your life. You can no longer lead the selfish life you used to lead when you were single, you are now the other part of someone else and have to look after them too.