Is this an effective method of keeping a man monogamous?

I read this somewhere that men who told their partners that they found some woman hot, somewhat insured that the man won't act on his impulses and thus reduced the chance of him cheating on his partner.

"Couples who do not express their sexual feelings in others and who repress those feelings are in a precarious position. It's harmless to want or wish. Not being able to say what you fantasize about pushes you even further to act out those fantasies and impulses."
--------------

How true is the above quote?

Men, do you agree with the above?

Ladies, would you feel jealous? If you do would this make you feel insecure and thus inhibit sexual responsiveness or will it make you feel more competitive and therefore pay more attention to your partner?

Could this also be a method to ensure an intense sex life even after many years of marriage?

Well if a woman told her partner she'd like to sleep with another guy, no matter who he is, that never goes down well!

Ladies, would you feel jealous? If you do would this make you feel insecure and thus inhibit sexual responsiveness or will it make you feel more competitive and therefore pay more attention to your partner?

Probably! And yeah.. inhibit sounds more like me than trying to compete :duh:

In my limited experience from what I know about others, I guess I can agree.

Ladies, would you feel jealous?
If you do would this make you feel insecure and thus inhibit sexual responsiveness or will it make you feel more competitive and therefore pay more attention to your partner?


I probably wouldn't feel jealous, but if I did (somehow) I think it'd make me more aware of my partner. I wouldn't go as far as being competitive, but I would pay special attention.

I'm not going to say anything. Last time I posted "A few Sabla girls I know are hot!", I was flamed by AT LEAST 4-5 females on board ...

Maybe it has to do with culture too?

I don't think I'd feel jealous... but I'm pretty sure he would if I said the same about a guy!! I think some guys do that to MAKE the girl jealous and insecure, so that they can get more attention. Oh well, bad try.

well even if i don't like it but facts are facts nothing will change if he choose to let me know about it than let it be i won't go jelouse becuse guys like that and they feel more important. :haha: funny way of importance

He can have his opinions or idealism; but if telling me will help him not act it out then I AM WITH IT even though I know I would be jealous……I see no motivation how thoughts can justify actions since it would not be acceptable if either of us did it.

Actually, I've had significant others that I used to say to: "You find him cute don't you ..." or tease in other instances ...

I mean it would go both ways too ... and its good to lighten the subject because to deny attraction to others is just that: denial.

You can only be completely loyal if you are completely honest - still, if you are in 'love' with the woman/man you are with would you be attracted to others in any significant fashion?

still, if you are in 'love' with the woman/man you are with would you be attracted to others in any significant fashion?

Well you can say that at the beginning of the relationship, but realistically if you're married for some years now, no doubt you'll find some other person attractive!

Well you can say that at the beginning of the relationship, but realistically if you're married for some years now, no doubt you'll find some other person attractive!

Yes ... but marriage is more than just physical attraction; it is love, commitment, loyalty, and understanding to name a few things.

Nobody holds a gun to your head and says you HAVE to spend the rest of your life with this one person - it is, like so many other things in life, your final decision to make.

So think long and hard when you enter wedlock.

:p

To paraphrase a saying I once heard cynically made on marriage: "marriage is like chewing gum - it tastes good at first but afterwards you don't know what to do with it ... spit it or swallow?"

But you had a choice to put the gum in your mouth to start off with - no?

;)

Yea but chewing gum is sticky and sometimes makes a big mess, especially with children involved - Good analogy there Pretender ;)

Anyways, i totally agree with everything pretender said, but what would my man say if i told him that i found another guy HOT!! Most men cant stomach that the way women can. Am i right?

Anyways, i totally agree with everything pretender said, but what would my man say if i told him that i found another guy HOT!! Most men cant stomach that the way women can. Am i right?

Not to sound sexually base about it ... but if I'm the one taking her to bed at the end of the day and she is loyal ... who cares???

;)

I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing out that another person is "cute" or that you like their "look" ... but I'd be offended if my husband said he was attracted to someone else in the sense of wanting to sleep with her!!!! To me there's a big difference between appreciating beauty and sexual desire...

But it's also foolish to think that just because you are married to someone they think you are the most beautiful model-material on the planet - whenever Wanderer says that someone on TV is "cute" or "pretty" my answer is pretty much "DUH that's why she's on TV" ;) And he's no Brad Pitt either ;) And that's OK :)

Off topic, i think a little humility is required in relationships. That being said, Im not sure why I even said it.

Off topic, i think a little humility is required in relationships. That being said, Im not sure why I even said it.

I think that is the best piece of conclusion I've heard on a thread in a long time.

Humility = Lasting Relationship.

:scratch:

Only a little humility. Too much is just wrong. You shouldn't put yourself down all the time to satisfy the other person. That's a major turn off. You should have a strong personality.

I'm not going to disagree yourself on selling yourself short - however ...

I've come to realize (especially in Oman) that "strong personality" means that the girl acts like b!tch or the guy acts like an a$$hole ... and lots (not all but lots of people) respect that here.

Yeah, Ive noticed that too. That, is a major turn off.

I'm not going to disagree yourself on selling yourself short - however ...

I've come to realize (especially in Oman) that "strong personality" means that the girl acts like b!tch or the guy acts like an a$$hole ... and lots (not all but lots of people) respect that here.

That wasn't what I meant by "strong personality".
You can be humble at times, but you shouldn't just give and give and give, and be okay with the other person giving nothing in return.

That wasn't what I meant by "strong personality".
You can be humble at times, but you shouldn't just give and give and give, and be okay with the other person giving nothing in return.

"Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy" - Mandy by Barry Manilow

LOL ... ahhh ... CHEESE ...

:haha:

There is something just plain WRONG about anyone under 30 knowing that song, much less knowing the lyrics!!! Please, tell me you had to look up the lyrics, or I'll lose ALL respect for you! :haha:

There is something just plain WRONG about anyone under 30 knowing that song, much less knowing the lyrics!!! Please, tell me you had to look up the lyrics, or I'll lose ALL respect for you! :haha:

Oh come Moony!!! Every generation learns the generations past!!!

I do have to add that Westlife covered it a couple of years ago ... deep down inside I know you are a Manilow fan ... even though it must be difficult to admit it ...

:p

ACCCCCFCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

In high school, our choral/orchestra leader just LOVED him ... trust me, the only thing worse than Barry Manilow singing Barry Manilow, is 20 high school kids singing Barry Manilow {puke}

I don't think he's hot, either ;)

Her name was Looooola...she was a shoooooow-girl....

Oops...anyway...sure, we always look. But humility my butt! I don't want to feel humbled by the beauty of others, I just want to be told I'm cute and great in bed dammit, and I'm sure she does too! Luckily she IS cute and great in bed...which will make her feel better about my just having aked Phoenix out in another thread....and as for me...well...you'd better ask her :color:

There are limits to everything, I don’t mind if my partner tells me that he found a girl cute or beautiful, it wouldn’t make me think I’m less attractive or make me feel insecure but that’s probably just me. . It’s good to admire other things in life (well at least I see it that way) but to cut it short, there are limits to everything, like I really wouldn’t like it if he’s be staring at someone!!

I would think lots of guys are cute, doesn’t mean I fancy them!!

To paraphrase a saying I once heard cynically made on marriage: "marriage is like chewing gum - it tastes good at first but afterwards you don't know what to do with it ... spit it or swallow?"



I thought that was really funny to read, but I have a different opinion to it.

Maybe marriage isn’t like chewing gum...its like chocolate, too much can hurt your stomach, but the right amount will always get your juices flowing..

And some girls can take more sugar than others :D

And some girls can take more sugar than others :D

Umm, I second that! :D