...feels like you doubt in him, even though u dont show it (they can tell), there is more of a chance he would betray the little trust u have in him.

This statement from Kaza in another thread intrigued me, but is it true?

As the wisest of all men said, "As water reflects the face so one's heart reflects the feelings of the other's heart." [Proverbs, 27:19] A consistently friendly attitude on your part is bound to evoke reciprocal feeling on the part of your husband. And the same applies the other way around...

I don't agree at all.

If someone is going to betray you they'll do it no matter how you feel about them! Its something in them, not something you PUT there. And its a feeble excuse for a guy to say 'oh well she didn't trust me anyway so it was easier to cheat'.

If he's a good man; he won't betray you. Period. It all comes down to him & his values.

1) We are affected by those with whom we associated, whether positively or otherwise.

2) Even if he's a good man, everyone has an evil inclination, and if he's tested...

If you want me to believe that then I need concrete scientific statistics! Until then, I believe a person is what he is... and if he DOES get SO affected by other ppl then he doesn't have any strength in character.

A person is what he wants to be.

If you want me to believe that

If I want you to believe point 1) or 2)?

if 1) so you don't think that even a very good person in the company of evil people for long enough will become affected? People who go out to war wear armour--don't you think that the same applies to a spiritual war (perhaps even more so)?

if 2) so you dont believe that everyone has an evil inclination?

If I want you to believe point 1) or 2)?



Neither, I meant Kaza's statement. But you seemed in favor of it.

I don't agree at all.

If someone is going to betray you they'll do it no matter how you feel about them! Its something in them, not something you PUT there. And its a feeble excuse for a guy to say 'oh well she didn't trust me anyway so it was easier to cheat'.

If he's a good man; he won't betray you. Period. It all comes down to him & his values.


Nope. Not true. Its a lot more complicated than that in most cases. I think the statement is correct in all guys with a shred of morality, to varying degrees. If he thinks you dont think to highly of him, hes more likely to betray you. He justifies it in his mind, somehow. It happens. Life is never black and white.

I agree with Thiefie, the higher the insecurity when you don't trust him much, the stakes are high that he will cheat.

If he thinks you dont think to highly of him, hes more likely to betray you. He justifies it in his mind, somehow. It happens. Life is never black and white.
True, but such a person doesn't need this kind of encouragment coming from his partner insecurity, he'd do in any case.

Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be fully trusted. When you completley trust a guy, it's like showing him that you really love him.


When a guy ...feels like you doubt in him, even though u dont show it (they can tell), there is more of a chance he would betray the little trust u have in him.

The statement does not only apply to men, I realized, It also applies on ME!

Example 1

Say my parents have full trust it me, they let me make my own desicions, let me do my own thing, because they trust me enough to know whats right and whats wrong. Say, I wanted to do something behind my parents back, I would think of the trust my parents have given me and how I would completly loose their trust and how my life will turn into a living hell if they ever found out what I was gonna do. I would really sit there and think about what may happen and if this thing I was about to dowas worth loosing their trust. After a long period of thinking, I'd realized, nothing it worth loosing their trust EXPECIALLY if it took me forever to gain the trust they have in me now.

Example 2

Ok lets say, my parents have little, if no trust in me, I'm being watched 24/7, I feel choked and i'm irritated by the way they treat me. I feel like I'm old enough to do my own thing, while they wont get off my @ss! If I wanted to do something behind their back, I wouldnt even think of that little trust they have in me, i'd be like, screw it, they already dont trust me, if they ever did find out what I did, it wouldnt make a difference anyway

So even if say the guy made a mistake and you felt he is untrustable, think this, EVERYONE makes mistakes, forgiveness is the key if you dont want him repeating whatever it is he did. Just forgive him for his shameless act and forget it even happened. I'm not saying you should take it easy, he should know how upset it made you, but with you giving him another chane and not giving him such a hard time about it, he'll probably feel bad for what he did and try his best to live up to your expectations.

But if you dont trust him the more likely he would repeat whatever he did or maybe something even worse. In short, When a guys does not feel trusted, he does not feel loved. Thats how I see it!

Can't open another thread now :os
Hmmm in example2 all depends on how much the person is untrustable, if he's far 1 mile or 100 mt., then he can be given a chance or not.

I agree with this theory in general. Knowing that someone does not trust you, makes it easier for you to justify your actions.

When I come to think of myself though, I would probably try to prove them wrong by not betraying their trust.