Men fantasizing..

[Libellula]

I read an article recently (I can't remember where) that stated most men fantasize at one time or another about other women while having sex with their wives (or girlfriends).

I found this incredibly disturbing. I know men fantasize about other women and I can accept this but not during sex! It just sounds WRONG.

It said that men are still "there" during sex but that they often visualized another woman.

How can this be? And is this true? :eyes:

[NaBHaN]

lol.. am sure that some women fantasize other men sometimes .. during sex. as if its true or not.. i have no idea... :duh:

[Enigma]

Why do you always bring up women in a discussion about men?!

[MaterialBoy]

I bet women fantasize about a certain actor who is married to a certain TV slayer.

[NaBHaN]

Why do you always bring up women in a discussion about men?!

cause i am realistic.:angel: , and duh.. its women who always complain about men.

[conflictedmind]

I also read an article says both men and women would fantasize about somebody when having sex with their wife/husband. It's extremely normal! I know it could be disturbing... :p

What to do? When we're only human... :scary: :shut:

[HaYa]

I was watching a programme , a counsellor specialised in this area was suggesting ( what Phoenix just mentioned ) ,to enhance dull or cold relationships ! :duh:
for both men and women ! :shut:

[Blossom]

i agree with Nabs women do the same thing, but i consider it cheating.

[conflictedmind]

i agree with Nabs women do the same thing, but i consider it cheating.

It's unavoidable! Let's not trying too hard here. We're not God!!! :p

[MoonChild]

i've heard a lot of people do it, but all I have to say is, if MY husband ever does, he'd better not tell me about it!!!

talk about really crushing someone's feelings ... imagine hearing that you are so unappealing to your own spouse that he has to pretend you are someone else to go through with it :os :weep:

[Manta]

:D.......Real lez chicks would kick the deliveryman's butt all the way home.... But that's a totally different fantasy, isn't it!.......... :)

[MoonChild]

although it may come as a complete surprise to you, M, your fantasies are neither original nor interesting :rolleyes:

any comment on the actual topic? ;)

[amo_l_oman]

I used to watch blue movies and fantasize on that but now are on payperview :( , i guess is off topic though :os

[jack]

I fantasize about my wife when she was young ... it works for me!

She's has no problem with it ...

She says she does the same ...

But I'd have no problem with her thinking of someone else ... as long as names aren't yelled out in the heat of the moment.

[Delicate]

This is gross.. but if it's meant to be a fact of life, then I can't change it, can I ?!

Well, when I get married, and my husband is of that sort, I wouldn't want to know!

[Born Lopsided]

I agree with Nabhan, women are just as bad as men, but the only diff is that men go 2 the extreme. & wats this hokum abt all men fantasizing abt other women during sex? Only cheaters & nympho-male-iacs probably wood. Thats a load of hogwash. Phoenix, unless the kind of men u were talking abt are blind & hv 2 rely on their dirty visualizations, then i agree with all the angry girls in here. Poor Mrs.Wonder, she has no idea that Stevie is fantasizing abt all the other women hes 'touched' up wen their in bed doin the wild thang.

[Jizzle]

hey, if a girl is really that revolting...

...and besides, it's not like he's actually gonna tell her that he is or tell other ppl that he does (unless, of course, he's sick of her). so keep your mind rolling but your mouth shut.

[nana]

have no idea about this ........... first time to hear this....

[Kazablanka]

It probably happens to both men and women and i think the reason behind it is cuz they can't stand each other anymore. OR the reason might be, they find their partner disgusting so thinking about someone else helps the process go faster.

[jack]

This thread is a perfect example of many here at the sabla.

Opinions (which is your right) based on "no life experiences".

Many of you have a rude awaking in the future :irk:

[amo_l_oman]

Many of you have a rude awaking in the future :irk:

Who knows :irk: , the majority just brought it back to the man-woman mind level if you read and some honest as always like Nana said dunno.
If you wanna give me private lessons... :wave:

[Libellula]

I am curious to know why some people do this. To me it seems like that indicates you are not bring turned on by your sex partner. Isn't one of the points of having sex with your partner to be with him/her?

I also read that a person doesn't necessarily fantasize about a different REAL person- sometimes an imaginary 'idealized' partner might be involved. Or perhaps a physically altered fantasy version of your actual partner. Young and athletic instead of middle-aged, sun-tanned and slim instead of pale and chubby.

It never occured to me that this was "normal".

[Libellula]

lol.. am sure that some women fantasize other men sometimes .. during sex. as if its true or not.. i have no idea... :duh:

I think that women may fantasize that they are somewhere else but not with someone else. I could be wrong on that account though.

[Libellula]

But I'd have no problem with her thinking of someone else ... as long as names aren't yelled out in the heat of the moment.

Doesn't it bother you to think that perhaps right in the middle of sex, your partner is thinking of someone else, during what you think is the hottest sex of your life? :twitch: :duh:

There isn't much point in worrying as you can't control what is in someone else's head and I doubt many people would tell their partner "hey, that was great sex...the whole time thinking about (name here) really made me hot!" :Shock:

[Libellula]

I was watching a programme , a counsellor specialised in this area was suggesting ( what Phoenix just mentioned ) ,to enhance dull or cold relationships ! :duh:
for both men and women ! :shut:


Makes sense.

If there is no excitement anymore, thinking about something else brings in some excitement I guess.
Also, after a while, and when you haven't tried anything new, I guess sex doesn't seem anything more than an "act".

:tiered:

[jack]

Pheonix
Doesn't it bother you to think that perhaps right in the middle of sex, your partner is thinking of someone else, during what you think is the hottest sex of your life? :twitch: :duh:No and why would I be thinking that ... remember this is the hottest sex of my life! :D


There isn't much point in worrying as you can't control what is in someone else's head and I doubt many people would tell their partner "hey, that was great sex...the whole time thinking about (name here) really made me hot!" :Shock:And your first sentence here is the key ... you have no control over what they are thinking. Why make yourself miserable at that moment of enjoyment?

[amo_l_oman]

remember this is the hottest sex of my life! :D

Why make yourself miserable at that moment of enjoyment?
You can talk like this if you go to Thailand or to Las Vegas and have sex just for the sake of having sex but if you are with your wife, well i agree you cannot think of it in the specific moment, but, unless you are a heartless person, you cannot avoid to stop for a moment, later, and think about it asking yourself why this happened: ok i'm not one of those with experience or much experience as you pointed out above, but is something important and shouldn' go like that.
I personally can also accept phisical betrayal from my man, and is not pleasant i assure you cause i went through that, but not when we're together and also if is just mental.

[sophis^catrina]

As Jack said, do I care as long as he pleasures me well?

Hmmm.... I really can't imagine. As for women, the majority of the time women can't separate love from sex. The only time that I could be fantasizing abt another man while having sex with the hubby, is if I did not love my husband and loved someone else.

[Libellula]

As Jack said, do I care as long as he pleasures me well?



Wouldn't knowing that he was thinking about someone else while 'making love' to you make you feel inadequate and insecure about how attractive you are as a woman?

I mean, the guy can't get turned on by you... are you so horrible-looking that he has to think of someone else in order to enjoy sex?

[sophis^catrina]

Wouldn't knowing that he was thinking about someone else while 'making love' to you make you feel inadequate and insecure about how attractive you are as a woman?

No, maybe he's just bored of sleeping with the same woman for a long time. It would make me worried in a sense that perhaps our sex life has become boring to him and that he needs to fantasize abt some other woman to spice things up. Nothing to do with the attractiveness as a woman, the problem may have to do more to do with the sexuality of his wife/gf and routine sex life. But on the other hand, his wife/gf may be very wild sexually and he still fantasizes abt other women. The reason, read below.


I mean, the guy can't get turned on by you... are you so horrible-looking that he has to think of someone else in order to enjoy sex?

What is he doing with me if I am so horrible looking? Phoenie, some surprising info for you: Women are naturally monogamous, men are naturally polygamous. For women, love=sex. For men, sex does not equal love. Sort of explains why they may fantasize abt other women, it's just in their nature. The way God created them. Even if their wife is drop dead gorgeous and is sexually very wild, they may still fantasize. Don't bother yourself abt it, as long as he does not sleep with another woman!

[Libellula]

I would be very very unsettled if I were to find out that my husband thought of someone else while sleeping with me!!!

You know, this sort of explains the men-saying-other-women's-names-during-sex thing..

[Libellula]

I would be very very unsettled if I were to find out that my husband thought of someone else while sleeping with me!!!

You know, this sort of explains the men-saying-other-women's-names-during-sex thing..

[Niffer]

Let's put Hijab on Pamela that would solve all the problems.

[Pineapple Thief]

Im just wondering sophis: if he were to sleep around, would it be all right 'as long as it didnt know'? From your reply, thats the impression I get.

[sophis^catrina]

Im just wondering sophis: if he were to sleep around, would it be all right 'as long as it didnt know'? From your reply, thats the impression I get.


No it would not be alright at all. It would mean serious trouble.

[Libellula]

No it would not be alright at all. It would mean serious trouble.


hmm

sleeping with someone else physically.. and sleeping with someone else psychologically. I think the latter is just as bad as the former.

[fatak]

Wow......this happened to me one time and my wife was really pissed off.......for some some strange reason......I used to have strange fantasies about this pink french poodle I saw walking down the street one day......

I almost got away with it.....but I started barking wildly and I had to explain everything to her after that......

yes.....guys fantasize.......

fatak

[mimosa]

Sure men fantasise, and so do women. But I don't make love to a woman and fanatasise about another one?! What the hell kind of relationship would that be? Might as well have a w*nk...

[~cK~]

why care what he thinks when ur engaged with him :/