This topic must have been discussed to death. But I still dont know the answer. I know people have been in long distance relationships for over 2 years, and are still running strong, and others who falter along the way. But what makes a long distance relationship work, if possible? And what makes it fail?

But what makes a long distance relationship work, if possible? And what makes it fail?
Distance exactly: is a key factor in both cases cause strengthen valid ties and destroyes weak ones.

But what makes a long distance relationship work, if possible? And what makes it fail?

I'm guessing how committed two people are to each other, how determined they are to keep the relationship going (despite the distance) are key factors.
Also, long distance relationships depend mainly on talking and conversation- so you have to have a lot to talk about, otherwise you really have nothing going on.. Once you have nothing to talk about, one of the two people are bound to lose interest and move on.

I think this is related to the couple, cauz if u wanna some thing to work out succesfuly u will work hard to thrive this out!

Do you mean a married couple or not?

I think determining the possibilities in such distance relationships is easy. It depends on the faith they have in each other. And the amount of trust they share. With both of that, time shouldnt be an issue between them.

Long distance relationships are not for the weak or complete realists. You gotta be a dreamer in order to focus on what it could be rather than what it IS. And that takes a bit of dreaming attributes to do.

I remember Pretender posted something once about what he wanted in a partner, he said that he wanted someone who would trust him and not think he was cheating while he was away from her. Easier said than done. When you don't hear from the person for a couple of days, weeks... ect its hard to have that 100% trust and refrain your mind from wondering into hurtful thoughts & ideas.

It sucks up all of your energy, leaves you penniless. Its too difficult for many, and although I'd like to be a romantic and say that the ones who couldnt make it weren't really meant for eachother I know that there's a bent part for every rule. Perhaps they would have been perfect for eachother; but they didn't get the chance.

Do they work? Yes for some. Not always, not never. Depends on the two (one might have to be stronger than the other) and how much they can take.

I don't think they last. "Out of sight, out of mind".

Simply: depends on the individual themselves. They are the relationship. They can make it succeed and they can make it fail.

I don't think they last. "Out of sight, out of mind".

Not if the person was unlike anyone else you met, and a real keeper. If the guy/girl was any good, then s/he would be worth waiting for, and worth the 'trouble' of a long distance relationship. ;)

My personal guess (?) is that if you talk all the time and keep up to date, it can work.

is that if you talk all the time and keep up to date, it can work.

Ditto. And as what others have said above depends on the individuals themselves and how much they respect and trust one another.

I remember Pretender posted something once about what he wanted in a partner, he said that he wanted someone who would trust him and not think he was cheating while he was away from her. Easier said than done. When you don't hear from the person for a couple of days, weeks... ect its hard to have that 100% trust and refrain your mind from wondering into hurtful thoughts & ideas.


Funny you remember it even though you through a hissy fit and got your partner in crime to ban me about it.

At least hindsight is 20/20 and you are thinking ... and being thoughtful.

It's a start.

(Finally ...)

:scratch:

I believe if both families support you - try to get engaged or be semi-official before you leave the country ... at least that way you have something more meaningful than being a boyfriend/girlfriend to keep you together.

Still ... whatever happens happens ... it's better if it happens before you come back together than 5 years into marriage.

;)

:os :rolleyes: Honestly..

I believe it was in a thread about describing your dream girl/guy Pretender. Don't dwell on the past too much... its unhealthy.

My personal guess (?) is that if you talk all the time and keep up to date, it can work.

Not necessarily. even if u talk 24/7 , its not easy at all... and it might not work. long distance relationships are not for the jealous type . the type that doubts his/her partner alot. it requires alot of faith and trust no matter what things might seem , no matter what things you hear about ur partner. if trust is gone.. then everything else is gone to.. including respect and understanding.. which are also very important to maintain that relationship.

does it last? its really up to the couple to MAKE it last. It only takes one to really keep it going... if both sides loose hope then it'll never work out.

I admit I am a person who needs continious contact and wouldnt be very strong if I was in a long distance relationship.

However, like Icy and and pretender said, it depends on the type of relationship. I wouldnt gamble on a long distance relationship if I wasnt sure of the person and wasnt sure on the outcome. Being me, I know that I wouldnt enter a relationship except if marraige was the talk. So, if the person was serious enough to think about marraige but distance was something forced on the relationship I would wait.. and think about it positivly.

:os :rolleyes: Honestly..

I believe it was in a thread about describing your dream girl/guy Pretender. Don't dwell on the past too much... its unhealthy.

The unhealthy thing is to not to be able to admit your mistakes.

(This is true in close contact relationships or long distance relationships).

;)

I think this is related to the couple, cauz if u wanna some thing to work out succesfuly u will work hard to thrive this out!
I agree to this. If their serious and loyal to each other then its bound to work.

On personal experience, it is very difficult, you just have to trust the other party blindly and be so understanding in whatever he/she does. you have to always be there for each other, you dont have to call 24/7 just a miscall will be more than enough to know that the other person is thinking about you.

For sure it works.
As long as both parties involved have the trust and respect to each other then i can't see why this kind of a relationship wouldn't work.

I'd agree to a point raised by enigma that some one must be stronger than the other in order to maintain such a relationship. You might go into problems through the way and surely it'll need both parties to be understanding and comforting to each other.

It's probably hard and requires a lot of trust.

It depends on the strength of the relationship you have but yet it’s a very hard situation. How does the saying go….’Away from the eye away from the heart’ or was it 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' :D

lol, that shows how reliable these 'sayings' are, when they directly contradict each other.

This topic is too sad for me to talk about...

Urg...just don't go breaking ppl heart if you do not really love a person!

Don't promise "forerver" when you dont mean it! A promise that does not even last for 1 year is scary!!!

"It's ok to be single when u're not ready." :angel:

Its working well for me :) .. 4 more month to go and he'll be back for good :hyper: :hyper:

mmmm Its hard and as many of you said it requires lot of Trust and mutual understanding ...

am a jealous type.. i get jealous from my own shadow :p ..so u can imagine!
sometimes he takes it with an open heart and sometimes e7im i get my lectures ..

but nothing is impossible if both are determined to make it work .. definitly it will work :)