Nowadays, it is not seen as particularly unusual for people to have a partner whom they are not married to (i.e. bf/gf), even in societies such as arab ones.
However, while the boyfriend/girlfriend situation is becoming more prevalent, we havent completely adopted everything that comes with it. In western societes, premarital sex is normal: couples that dont 'do it' after a few weeks are generally seen as dumb, and not going anywhere.

Not going anywhere? Relationships there, unless deadly serious, dont end in marriage. The aim is not marriage. None of the partners wants marriage. They are looking for something to fulfill a gap. People are getting more and more frightened of marriage, what with the difficulties it entails, shown by a high, and increasing, divorce rate in western countries. The age of marriage is getting higher as well.

Here in the arab world, couples are encouraged to marry young. Its not uncommon to have a grandmother who had her first child at about 15. While we may be marrying older as well these days, its still very common to see girls getting married at 19 and 20.

Back to the topic. In this part of the world, people are adopting the 'bf/gf' solution. But to what end? In the west, ultimately, whether they admit it or not, in most cases the couple are looking for sex. Teenagers for sure arent looking for marriage... that would be like :scary:. So in this part of the world, whats different? Are teenage couples looking for marriage? Are they looking for sex? Looking at this sabla, most people arent looking for sex. They are looking for 'love', an abstract concept, although its existance cant be denied.

To sum it up, Im a bit confused as to what people, teenages in particular, are looking for in relationships in this part of the world. When I say 'teenagers', I dont distance myself. I too am included. I dont know what Im looking for in a relationship. Reassurance? Security? Security of what? Is it just some natural urge?

Opinions would be very welcome :gap:

unfortunately, the reality is that despite all innocent intentions

1) non-marital relationships end in misery for all concerned

2) the Western World thought that the situation wouldn't deteriorate, but it did, further and further, because no concerted effort has been made to change the tide. I would hope that in other parts of the world they would learn the lesson from the west and stop this phenomenon before it breaks out into the epidemic that it is in the Western World.

I don't know what on earth teenagers are looking for when they dive into relationships with the 1st person who's game. When I was a teenager the most I ever asked from any guy was friendship! What's wrong with that? It seems not to be good enough anymore. Teenagers today are trying to grow up WAY too fast. They're rushing into things that'll come in time and in the process are missing out on a hell of a lot of things that they could be doing (and getting away with) at their age. They just need to slow down and go easy on the high heels and make-up (the girls obviously!)

I would question whether an intergender "platonic" relationship, remaining on the level of friendship, ever worked

I think the difference is that nowadays, since there is social endorsement of this behaviour, people are quicker to take it to the next step, and less ashamed of doing so, because "everyone else is doing it," but that doesn't mean this kind of thing didn't happen 50 yrs. ago.

one cause of the rapid rate of decline is co-educational schools

To sum it up, Im a bit confused as to what people, teenages in particular, are looking for in relationships in this part of the world. When I say 'teenagers', I dont distance myself. I too am included. I dont know what Im looking for in a relationship. Reassurance? Security? Security of what? Is it just some natural urge?

I remmber I have been asking myself this question when I was a teenager .. My friend used to jump from a relationship to another .. without clarification what does she want from this relationship!!
Living in a strict Omani family, I beleived that a girl who had relationship wasnt marraige material and I certainly wanted to get married. I felt sorry fot her as I knew that she wouldnt reach stabilty.

I think teenageers find relationship exciting coz its forbidden in our society. I guess its about being in love and have to hide it from everyone and do some crazy things to meet up with your gf/bf.

I think that teenagers mainly need to be reassured that they CAN be loved. But the thing is, they often confuse what they have in a relationship with love. Maybe we just need to know that there's someone we can talk to about anything, someone we can share everything with and not feel like we are being judged.

Also, there is no denying that being in a relationship and having a bf/gf kills boredom and makes life much more exciting. Don't we all crave excitement, and just want to have fun?

There's also rebellion. Because we who live in an Arab society know that being in a relationship is forbidden, it makes it all the more appealing. We feel like we've accomplished something when we can go behind our parents backs and have a secret life of our own.

There's also this perception today that no person is complete without a partner. I think that's bull, but many people buy the "you make me complete" thing. I don't see why anyone should believe that they are "less", if they don't have a partner.
That's the way it goes though. Maybe we're just a bunch of insecure, lonely fools.

I'd split them into categories:

~ Those who are lonely, can't live alone and feel the need to be loved.

~ Those who want to play around; because well... its fun!

~ Those who think that its 'cool' and see it on television & movies and think they should be like that too.

~ Those who are not so much lonely, but still like the feeling & excitement of being in a relationship.

-------

I don't think any of the above are reasons to get into a relationship. And I don't think that you should unless you are 100% sure you intend to marry that person... otherwise there's no point to it. And its completely against Islamic teachings. Lonely or NOT; go make some friends or get in touch with your family but don't run into some dude's arms!

People should only meet with members of the opposite gender if they feel ready to commit to marriage, for everyone's sake. Period.

People should only meet with members of the opposite gender if they feel ready to commit to marriage, for everyone's sake. Period.

Some people do get into relationships with the intention of getting married, but then it just doesn't work out...

well, in the western world, those people are in the minority
most people who date are not seriously considering marriage, sadly

What i dont understand is 'religious playas' who play around, but for no reason. I mean, ?????

Dating an Arab girl is probably the Dumbest thing any Arab guy can do.

Marrying an Arab girl on the other hand ... is not so dumb (depending on the girl).

God Bless hot foreign women.

God Bless hot foreign women.
Is that a polite way to call us... :rolleyes:

God Bless hot foreign women.

What about hot arab women?

... or don't they exist? :scratch:

What about hot arab women?

... or don't they exist? :scratch:

Yes they do ... rare ... but they do ...

Though you can't exactly have normal relationships in our repressed society ... no?

But you mean hot in or out :p of marriage

Yes they do ... rare ... but they do ...

Though you can't exactly have normal relationships in our repressed society ... no?


Depends on what you define a 'normal' relationship as. Normal by american standards? Normal by arab standards? (which seems to consist of talking on the phone and sneaking out of the house every now and then)

Depends on what you define a 'normal' relationship as. Normal by american standards? Normal by arab standards? (which seems to consist of talking on the phone and sneaking out of the house every now and then)

I don't think sneaking around and spending hours on the phone everyday is a healthy relationship ... hence dating an Arab girl is stupid.

:scratch: