They say the first 3 years of marriage are the best, all the love & romance is there...... but once you start having kids you become consumed with that, each partner gets busy with his thing in the workplace and out. And after 20 years of marriage its stale and has become more of a companionship than anything. You loose the playful, innocent and loving relationship you once had.

Some couples are lucky enough to have it even when they're both eighty. Question is HOW do you keep it going after so many years? How do you keep your relationship alive and happy?

I guess one can only know when he/she is IN the situation..:scratch: , but i know that I will try my best to keep it all alive and the same as it was when we started. I think that the longer time u spend with a person .. u end up loving him/her more..so i guess this wont be much of a problem for me. :angel:

oh my god thats ma biggest fear i get bored fast so i dont know i thing ill be divorced in like 4 years but who knows i might end up with a guy i love and respect who feels the same for me and then we end up dieing together. it should be equel to keep it as it is. both of them gives and takes not just giving only or taking only. i hope this is the right answer...:lost:

If you're working and you have kids, you'd just be so busy juggling time for both, and I guess you get stressed out and your relationship might lose its spark. I think that you can sort of rekindle the flames by taking a break from all responsiblities every once in a while. Get away from home and all the noise, go away for the weekend alone, take some trips together, etc.
Make sure you set time for being alone with your partner. Drop the kids off at the in-laws or something and just stay in together. Give yourselves a break :)

You just have to remember to make the effort - what did you do to make your partner feel special when you were first together? Well, keep doing that :)

You can't have the same feelings without the same actions ... it can be harder with kids (trust me, we've got 2 kids and halfway through a twin pregnancy) ... but carve out some time, take advantage of opportunities to be together instead of catching up on chores or something ... if your schedule is unpredictable then use that as an excuse to be spontaneous!

To a large extent, the "little things" matter too.
- Whoever gets home first, tidy up the place, do something special to make your mate feel welcome. Make him a cup of tea... light a candle...
- Just a caress on the way by (even if you're taking a stinky baby for a diaper change), lets him know you're thinking about him - WHERE that caress is tells him what you're thinking :p
- don't forget to kiss
- offer foot rubs or back rubs
- do your share with a smile

just don't be in too much of a hurry to show your love, is what it boils down to. It only takes 2 seconds to remind your mate that you love them :love: and that builds up the anticipation for when you've got a bit more time :)