Sometimes people get into the mood of joking with each other and perhaps start to flirt and mess around with each other. Friends, colleagues, acquaintance, etc.. it does happen at a point when someone would first comment on how nice your dress is, your make up, your appearance, etc...

I've always had my limits, but just recently when I let go with a colleague of mine I found it rather interesting, there's nothing going on, but we're both just being silly, somehow it brings you back to your youth and you get all excited and all.

I suppose it depends on who are you flirting with, most important you should both know that it's just one big joke nothing else.

P.S: each one of us is involved in a relationship.

flirting with others could lead to things that one did not expect. like what if the person you started to flirt with (as a joke) started to like you? or what if you started to like him?

its true that there is a limit for everything but one never knows, sometimes ppl do things without relaizing they are doing it...

If anyone is in a good relationship, I really don't see the reason why he or she should flirt around, even if it is supposed to hold no meaning. It for sure give a wrong signal and shows that the person flirting are not 100% satisfied with his/her current relationship or needs more than what his/her relationship brings.

I think there is a difference between flirting with a friend and flirting with a colleague or your boss. To my opinion, what can be done in the first case, should be completely avoided in the second.

Tranquility, remember that what if you think that it is alright for you to flirt around, eventhough you are in a relationship, means that what is good for you is good for your partner. Will you not mind at all knowing that your partner is flirting being your back with his/her friend and colleagues?

My partner knows that I mess around with this person, in fact he says nothing because he knows I love him so much, it’s just a phase. I don’t see my self insecure in the relationship I’m in. it’s just to get out of the routine I suppose. Different people think and feel differently, I’d still like to read more comments regarding this issue.

Waiting :)

i just say better be safe than sorry... one doesn't want to end up blaming him/herself in the end and regreting doing something..

When you say that you flirt with a colleague, how far do you go in joking?

I mean, if it's someone you got to know very well, and the both of you joke around, innocently, not going into deep stuff or anything like that, then I guess it's fine, as long as your partner knows, and as long as you know where to draw the line. It's always better to be careful and try and not to get too far with this, again better safe than sorry.:)

as long as there are no hard feeling involved at the end of it, it's all good. nothing worse than getting brushed off after you think it was really all that...

i think if you really love the person you are with though, you would feel a little bit guilty. but as you said, different people feel different things.

I used to do it sometimes ..Its a way to price who is with me..and offcourse i wont say a thing which is not in her!!!
all are within my honest lines!

Well yet Gotta be careful though sometimes you can hurt someone without you being noticing it! thats why I limited it much!

Sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself you're just "joking around"...doesn't quite ring true though :rolleyes:

What’s in people’s hearts isn’t that easy to access mimosa; we’ve known each other for a while and have been good friend for quite sometime. What’s in his heart weather if he does really have feeling for me or not by flirting around I wouldn’t know and can’t tell. As mentioned earlier, we’re both involved in different relationship (solid) which isn’t that easy to get out of. Mind you even if we think that we both have feelings for each other that would go beyond just flirting with each other things won’t be as easy as they should go with two people in love it’s never going to be easy or maybe even possible, we both realize that.

Tranquility, if you're so sure that you're just 'fooling around' and not 'actively' flirting, then what's the point of posting this thread in the "Personal Problems Sabla"?

I'm just confused, thats all. You want us to agree that you're fooling around or what do you expect us members to get out of the thread?

Thank you ... :)

Go for a 2nd wife instead of flirting and practice real things instead of imaginations.

Shino, I’m not convinced that it’s wrong until someone proves other, some do see it as a problem, is it really? That’s what I’m trying to get out of members. Care to share your thoughts?

IceTea, I’m a women for gods sake.

Originally posted by Tranquility
I’m not convinced that it’s wrong until someone proves other, some do see it as a problem, is it really? That’s what I’m trying to get out of members. Care to share your thoughts?



Did you consider the religious view about what you are doing, are you a muslim lady?

Okay, I get the point I guess.

Well here goes ... flirting might just be fooling around or sweet talking until either one of you start thinking otherwise. Its not too tough to go from one to another, if you're already talked and fooled around a great deal regarding 'romantic stuff' and know what each of you like to hear and live.

The point is, even though you guys might be good friends ... 'flirting' with someone else is a no-no. If you are confident enough that this might not lead elsewhere and if your dude's not worried about it, then its all good. Otherwise, you'll repent about this years down the line.

Thats how I read this.

ps/ Oh and one more thing ... if I were you, I wouldn't be paying Ice Tea any attention! :)

Tranquility, you didn't answer below question is it that hard ;).

Did you consider the religious view about what you are doing, are you a muslim lady?

Tranqulity,

I personally think that its disrespectful toward your partner to even casually flirt with someone else. Even if he is okay with it, consider: would you be okay with it if it the other way around? Him flirting with a colleague? Perhaps he doesn't want to say anything because he doesn't want you to think he doesn't trust you. And consider the other girl, the guy's partner. Is she okay with it?

In my opinion, even if all parties claim to be 'OK' with it I still think its disrespectful. Flirting should be reserved soley for loved ones. I know I wouldn't like it for my partner to casually flirt, not because I don't trust him but by him flirting he's sending her an unspoken message. You may think the limits are clear but people put more faith into what they see rather than what they hear. If you've said that nothing can happen with him then you are sending him mixed signals; you flirt (in that inviting him) and later say 'I'm in a relationship'. Which do you think he'll take more seriously? Keep in mind that no matter how cool a guy is, in the end he's still a guy; monotracked and in need of clear statements to actually GET it.

You said it 'brings you back to your youth and you get all excited'; that just doesn't make sense if you are currently in a fulfilled relationship.

IceTea, to answer your question, I’m not bringing religion into this. Don’t tell me why I should, I just don’t.

Enigma, I respect your point of view, and you have a very valid point there. Thanks for sharing that.

Well, it's cool that ur guy is okay with it.. but I still don't think it's right. Just put urself in his place, then u be the one to decide.

Tranquility, may I ask you a question?

You said that your partner is okay with you flirting, but did you actually tell him that you are curently flirting with this colleague at work and that he brings in you feelings of youth which excite you?

In case you didn't...can you just try and tell him exactly what is going on while you are at work (away from him) and see if he reacts with full understanding.

Originally posted by Cerulean
Well, it's cool that ur guy is okay with it..

I don't think it's cool it only means that he doesn't care about her otherwsie I don't expect a husband to let his wife who care about to be in contact with other strangers.

Originally posted by IceTea
And what is your advice to her?

Put Ice Tea on "ignore". :D

(Quick off topic...do you really think your two word insulting posts contribute to anything other than your posts tally? That seems to me to be your only objective, and a rather childish one. Oh yeah, don't reply here - PM me if you have something to say.)



Tranny,

It seems to me that if it was "harmless fun" you wouldn't be worried enough about it to call it a problem. If you are having serious feelings for someone else, which seems pretty clear, then you have to ask yourself one simple question:

What exactly do you want, in an ideal world, and how would you propose to get it?

Originally posted by Dr N
I already told her what I thought icey, and gee, it didn't involve having her partner marry somone else.:rolleyes:

Now she's the one who's in that situation, and I'm sure after listening to what we had to say, it's her, and only her, who can really judge on the whole thing and make a decision which she thinks is right.

You know in the begining I though he is a man :D that is why I adivse him (her now) to marry another wife instead of playing with other women.

I know it's her who will decide but we have to give her the right advise and not to mislead her, and my advise to her to is to stick to her husband and stay away from other relations. A couple should be loyal to each other and having another relations will only lead to divorce at the end.

ICE TEA.. stop annoying Tranquility with ur questions. :mad: , she clearly said she doesnt want to reply now stop flooding this thread !!

your reply to this will be deleted so dont bother ..please. :)

----------------

Tranquility : as u said.. as long as both know its one big joke then its fine really as long as u maintain ur limits of course , but even so i dont recomend even joking about such things..cause then one of u might start wondering.. is he/she really joking? how can i know? and u might like the flirting after a while and one of u might want more out of that friendship.. in the end.

Flirting is a means of complimenting someone, though both parties should know the limits if one or both are not available. It's a safe way to express admiration without intruding or damaging the other person's relationship with his lover or spouse.

it sounds like.... YoU ReAllY Like that guy.. or maybe love him..

Originally posted by IceTea


to stick to her husband and stay away from other relations.

Excuse me, i never said Husband, I've always refered to my partner.. First you think I'm a guy, which is insulting BTW..

And now you jump into assuming I'm married, something which i never said i was....

Mimz, I don’t recall refering to it as a problem, just because I posted in the problem sabla does not make it my problem. I just wanted people’s opinion on the topic, weather they thought it was right or wrong. I suppose it's a general thing, but poeple are directing their questions to me and i don't mind answering. It could have been moved to General sabla, I wouldn’t have had a “problem” with that.

You asked “What exactly do you want, in an ideal world, and how would you propose to get it?”

The way I see it at the moment, is that “even if” we both love each other, there is no way round it, on my side I see it as an impossible relationship and I take it from there. I guess I’ve made my point load and clear now :)

Kitkat, you made me laugh, love is a very strong word, and I’d love him as a friend, just as a love my girlfriends ;)

P.S: Who won the football match the other day ;) ?

Originally posted by Tranquility
Mimz, I don’t recall calling it a problem, just because I posted in the problem sabla does not make it my problem. I just wanted people’s opinion regarding this topic, weather they thought it was right or wrong. It could have been moved to General sabla, I wouldn’t have a “problem” with that.

You asked “What exactly do you want, in an ideal world, and how would you propose to get it?”

The way I see it at the moment, is that “even if” we both love each other, there is no way round it, on my side I see it as an impossible relationship and I take it from there. I guess I’ve made my point load and clear now :)

Kitkat, you made me laugh, love is a very strong word, and I’d love him as a friend, just as a love my girlfriends ;)

P.S: Who won the football match the other day ;) ?
A little flirtation is ok I guess.........Well to a point, you can't mislead the other person, he may develop stronger feelings for you. But if you know him really well i guess its ok. I'm gay and some of my girlsfriends and I flirt with each other for a laugh.

Guys, I have done a large scale deletion of all chit-chat and off-topic posts in here ...

If you continue, the result shall be the same and you might even end up getting a warning. So, please don't call Tranq a male or promote polygamy, since this is not in the interest of this thread!

Continue with the healthy discussion! :)

I was just wondering if my brain was playing tricks on me, I thought I had seen 2 pages on the front page, when I got in there was only one page, thanks for clearing that out shinoda.

Tranquility,

flirting around could get you into trouble, you never know what would happen later on even if you think it’s impossible. Everything is possible in this life no matter how hard/complicated it looks.


Best of luck dear.

It's still messing about...no matter what you call it Tranquility, you are still doing something immoral. At least, that's my view. If you really respected your current relationship and the man you are with, you wouldn't consider flirting with anyone, let alone a colleague. How do you know what he is talking/thinking behind your back? And men DO talk, you know. You are probably insecure or needing attention, which is making you flirt with a man who's not your anything. And yes, have you thought of it from a moral/religious standpoint? It's my view, but I think you are making a mistake. :irk:

[QUOTE=Tranquility] somehow it brings you back to your youth and you get all excited and all.QUOTE]

Tranquility, I understand the part that it gets you all excited and everything
and its good that your partner is understanding...
I see that you seem sure that you will be able to control yourself and this will be no more than fooling around, but what about you REAL partner?
I mean even though he sounds so cool about it, no one can be sure what is going on in his mind, he might be quite but his mind will be going tik-tik-tik and he will be thinking of stuff and having doubts n everything, I mean he is just human..
Is feeling excited worth risking your relationship, mm at moments I guess maybe, But think carefully about the long term..

flirting with others could lead to things that one did not expect. like what if the person you started to flirt with (as a joke) started to like you? or what if you started to like him?

its true that there is a limit for everything but one never knows, sometimes ppl do things without relaizing they are doing it...

ok its true coz well..i've been there and done that...he was my Best Friend and everyone knew how good friends we were..but then he started flirting n stuff..then i had another close friend same thing..n now both of 'em cant stand each other coz of it..(they were once good friends for how many years b4 i even entered college) and now i dont even talk 2 my Once best friend..

hope im clear.. :angel:

Go for a 2nd wife instead of flirting and practice real things instead of imaginations.


:haha: you and the wife thingie..!! :rolleyes: enough already!! :duck:

I don't think it's cool it only means that he doesn't care about her otherwsie I don't expect a husband to let his wife who care about to be in contact with other strangers.


Can I get an Amen to that... :angel:

i mean seriously..would you allow ur partner to do the same... :bored:

Tranquality - flirting to many people is just a way to have fun, and to put some spice to ones conversation, or just to teaz one another. But there are a lot of ppl out there who would take flirting as harresment!

You just can;t start flirting with every tom **** and harry, thats for sure. Especially when it comes in the work environment, in the west if suchj act is being taken place, than they would label it as Sexual Harrasment.

Now, maybe we would take this flirting issue, to those people who are single as normal, and nothing wrong. But for those who are married, and they actually put acts like this, what would you call it?!! Joke?!, teazing one another?! and would it be called Being Unfaithful?! u tell me! :angel:

I totally agree with Enigma , u said all gurl!

Just to add I personally think it doesnt matter if u r single or committed flirting with colleagues is unacceptable , coz it always starts with "Casual Flirting" which I dont even believe in and ends up in a big mess! at work i've seen gurls flirting with guys and then being stabbed at the back by those guys , getting all kind of comments (loose, cheap..etc)

one should always set limits at work place .

Flirting is not a sin :)