From Enigma's thread "La Playa", when she said that the man was forced to get married to his cousin, I thought of opening a thread talking about that!

I know that goes around alot, not only in Oman, but many other countries. This is a very sensitive case, I mean there's nothing wrong with opening up with other people, infact that's the way people are going to treat each other equally.

Alhamdulilah, nothing of this is happening in my family, and we have the choice of whom we want to spend the right of our lives with as long as that person is Muslim. I was wondering, those people who follow this so-called rule, what are they thinking? where are they going with forcing their kids to get married to whom they don't want to? Is there a point behind it?

What do you think of that? Are you going to let your daughter/son stick to family, or will you leave it up to them?

Forced marraige is against Islam teachings and the parents shoudn't practice it on their kids to stay within the family boundary. It's better to get married from outside the family and expand the relations and family ties.

if i was ever forced to marry someone.. I just know how to make him divorce me the second day :laugh: .. aftre that they cant ever force me to marry again cuz they know that i will get divorce :)..

but my family is not like that too.. I think that I will force them to marry the one I want :)

Originally posted by kitkat
if i was ever forced to marry someone.. I just know how to make him divorce me the second day :laugh: .. aftre that they cant ever force me to marry again cuz they know that i will get divorce :)..

but my family is not like that too.. I think that I will force them to marry the one I want :)


well that's the most common reaction to such cases.... in fact parents who force their children to marry certain chosen people they actually are harming them more than they are doing them a favor..... al7amdullilah there isnt such cases in my family too....

What do you think of that? Are you going to let your daughter/son stick to family, or will you leave it up to them?

No way. It's up to them. I'm not the one who's going to live with the guy, my daughter is and so I have no right forcing her to marry anyone (family or not).

Many families do that, mostly forcing their daughters to marry a cousin or someone from the family because only he can take proper care of her needs. Since he’s a relative, what’s good/bad for her is good/bad for him.
I don’t believe so. Some parents think that just because they brought us into life, they own us and have the right to control our lives. Each person is an individual with the right to make his own decisions. The above type of parents are selfish, even if all they had in mind was the happiness of their kids.

Originally posted by Echo
Many families do that, mostly forcing their daughters to marry a cousin or someone from the family because only he can take proper care of her needs. Since he’s a relative, what’s good/bad for her is good/bad for him.



well yeah many families do this but it's not true that the cousin might look very well after his wife who is his cousin ....definately he would put the family into considaration but this doesnt mean he would treat her fairly...... lets take this case.... a guy was forced to marry his cousin..... though he doesnt love her,.... he just got married to her because the family decided to.....and lets say that he loves someone else...... now he wouldnt treat her the way he should.... he would be only in this marriage because of the family and that he cant divorce because it may creat disputes between the two families.....

people who are 'forced' to get married have no personalities. everyone should have the right to choose his/her partner without the interferance of the family. they can advise , but thats its.

arabs can be pathetic.

Originally posted by NaBHaN
people who are 'forced' to get married have no personalities. everyone should have the right to choose his/her partner without the interferance of the family. they can advise , but thats its.

arabs can be pathetic.



they are .pathetic..... but still we cant blame the ones who are forced to get married to their cousins because if they refused then they would be considered as Rebellious .... and most of them dont want to be thought that way...

I think its a very big mistake to make a person get married by force. In my point view i think those people who are forced to get married will not have happiness because there will be no love between them so there will be a big gap between them and that will not affect on them only but on thier children.

I think the person who is forced to get married should be very strong at that prticullar time in his life he should do every thing he can to not get married otherwise he might take him self to hell.

Originally posted by IceTea
Forced marraige is against Islam teachings and the parents shoudn't practice it on their kids to stay within the family boundary. It's better to get married from outside the family and expand the relations and family ties.
exactly. Every muslim has a right to say NO.

Every human being has the right to say no!

Originally posted by IceTea
Forced marraige is against Islam teachings and the parents shoudn't practice it on their kids to stay within the family boundary. It's better to get married from outside the family and expand the relations and family ties.

I agree with IceTea :D

I wont say forced marriages dont work, as I know people who have been in arranged marriages that have worked, very well in fact, all I'll say is that I disagree with them, and wouldnt force it upon my (future) kids.

If my family forced me to marry someone I would run away , I seriously will
Omg it’ll be soo cool :hyper:

Forced marriges? hmm i have nothing to say but....
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHA
thats all....
j/k
really forced marriges must sck you know
and thats all i have to say...
NOT kiddin

If my family forced me to marry someone I would run away , I seriously will
Omg it’ll be soo cool :hyper:

Why will you run away if he turned to be a good husband and loves you, what do u want more? :scratch:

IceTea
Why will you run away if he turned to be a good husband and loves you, what do u want more?

I witnessed such a case in my family where a girl was forced to marry someone against her will , sad but true

he turned out to be such a good husband and so loving that she couldnt resist him :)

they are happy now with one child

Yet i dont agree with forced marriage coz most of the times it doesnt work.

I am guessing that the reason why people 'force' their children into marrying someone against their will is either for personal gains, or because they think they know what is best for them..

Still, even if parents, or elders are wiser, they have no right to force someone into marrying.

Forced marriage is simply ridicoulous, who in the god's name comes up with this idea condemned to death! lol :shoot:

I'm ok with "arranged marriage"! because it works perfectly well for my grandparents!!! LOL :p :love:
the only difference between a "forced M" and "arranged M" is that either the couple can turn down each other! More civilized... :inno:

Forced/Arranged marriages are in no way Islamic. It's a cultural thing that's evolved over generations in a way that traditional people justify it with religion. BS, my friend. :irk: BS.

I have a few uncles and aunts who have had arranged marriages, and believe me: they are no saints.

Why will you run away if he turned to be a good husband and loves you, what do u want more? :scratch:
Because I wouldn’t wanna marry someone I don’t know or I have no clue what did he do or what he does , everyone thinks differently , I mean I know he might turn out to be a good guy and all , but what if he turned out to be the total opposite , its kinda risky and we are talking about marriage here , its not like a game of trying your luck and go with the flow , I would never think that way !
Besides if the guy is Muslim and there isn’t anything wrong with him , our parents aren’t suppose to say no , these other things of him being shi3i or sini or abathi or him having a different name o 7ala , these are only things they believe in upon our society and culture :rolleyes:

forced marriage ..im against it.. but .. what if the parents or the one who in charge of the girl or the boy doing or forcing that marriage for the better of the girl or the boy! is that still bad thing to do?

What's best for the kid is to let them decide for themselves. I know about people who were in an arranged marriage - not forced though because the girl was so young she just went along with it, doesnt make it any better though :s - and the marriage ended up failing. Sometimes it ends in divorce, sometimes it ends in an abusive marriage, sometimes it ends up in adultery, and SOMETIMES which are very rare it ends up ok. But that should be the persons failure or success, not the parents. Arranged marriages suck.

Yes it's still considered as a cruel thing to do. Forcing two people to marry each other when they probably can't stand one another. I think that's the worst thing a parent can ever do to their kids. You destroy their lives, and you build a family on a lie and weak basis, and I can assure you that it won't last long, and if it does, then I can just go on and on talking about the serious consequences on the partners themselves, on their kids, and on their general wellbeing.

Parents shouldn't be blind.

In islam though it says that the wife has a right to say no.
And if she says no then her answer should be respected ..

lol sorry no proper proof to back that up with..
but it was Last years islamic studies!!

salam alll..... i dont deny about the practice existing.... however i believe a person always has a choice and that is given to us .... so lets say hypothetically speaking ...i was told i have to marry my relative and i dont want to then i have the following choice:

* to agree and say that it is written
* to disagree and try to make it change by refusing to marry

in the latter case the person has to be prepared for the worst (and stand up for what they believe)

there are many men and women who are not wholly commited tot there marriages... and when u ask them they say coz they were forced and it wasnt what they wanted ... this shows that u have the choice coz u then choose not to be commited to the other person or the marriage so if they have they can choose make each others lives missirable then they can choose to be out of the marriage.....

its just a matter of choice....oh just so that u all know i am taking out of experiance of refusing .....

salam alll..... i dont deny about the practice existing.... however i believe a person always has a choice and that is given to us .... so lets say hypothetically speaking ...i was told i have to marry my relative and i dont want to then i have the following choice:

* to agree and say that it is written
* to disagree and try to make it change by refusing to marry

in the latter case the person has to be prepared for the worst (and stand up for what they believe)

there are many men and women who are not wholly commited tot there marriages... and when u ask them they say coz they were forced and it wasnt what they wanted ... this shows that u have the choice coz u then choose not to be commited to the other person or the marriage so if they have they can choose make each others lives missirable then they can choose to be out of the marriage.....

its just a matter of choice....oh just so that u all know i am taking out of experiance of refusing .....
:bored: