I sit with my girlfriends, I see that something is troubling them, I give them a look asking what's wrong and they respond. Sometimes it takes a tad more prodding but eventually they'll end up sharing their feelings.

I love my girlfriends.

Now, I've got brothers and some male friends who are the total opposite. I've read about the whole 'cave' thing in Men are from Mars .... but I refuse to just accept that this is the way men are.

WHY DON'T THEY TALK?

Up-bringing? They're taught 'boys don't cry' which basically means boys don't have feelings. On some level do men consider it girly to share their feelings? :shock:

If I ask a guy what's wrong, he'll most likely end up telling me 'I'll work it out' or 'It doesn't matter'. But it DOES matter..... so..

How do you get a guy to talk to you? Share his feelings?

Men don't like to gossip like girls they normally solve their problems in a different way compared to girls. Women are driven by emotions so if someone press them a little bit they will start talking like parrots.

I generally don't open up quite easily to people who're not my "close" friends. Even if they are close, I might defer my choice to open up to them, if I already know that I'll feel worse after listening to their understanding of the issue.

Generally, men find it a lot more tough to 'close' to other men or even girls, to an extent. If you know someone for more than a few months and have been supporting him, then I doubt if he'll not tell you stuff. I stay with 3 other guy friends and all of us sit together and talk about stuff (sometimes till late in the night), if the situation demands so! :p

Originally posted by IceTea
Men don't like to gossip like girls they normally solve their problems in a different way compared to girls. Women are driven by emotions so if someone press them a little bit they will start talking like parrots.


hello


Shay Bared, what do u mean by Parrot?:duh:


why do u think that females are the only ones who gossip?!


i believe that man do gossip more than females, but they dont show it much,,,,,,their pridness is controling them more than being normal human:rolleyes:

hello
to answer u dear,


I think man does speak up, but only to the opposite gender, only in one case, if he builds up a very string trust to her then he will be feeling free and he will be more talkactive about the problems that he go through and well be like a small baby:) who needs some care...it is not nesaccery to be his girl-friend, she can be a close friend, but the condition of trust should be there.


but u can not expect that from just a normal friend to come to u or answer ur question about how he feels in the exact and the fact they he should be in...........


I think the Prideness does have a big influence in the man than his natural feelings of being sad or in need of a shoulder to relay on, and to be given a support.


this is what i think and it is part of experiance:)

I think its the mentality of men ..

Men dont understand the concept of sharing your feelings, problems and concerns.
They would share it with VERY few people!!

While as soon as a woman trust anotehr she would start sharing what she wanna say.

If you look at it, how many "close - and I dont mean best" friends you have and how many "close" friends your bro has?!

Women have far more close friends than men and they are ready to share certain feelings and issues with close friends more than men.

I think thats beaty of being a woman :D you get your feeling out, while many men bottle up themselves

Originally posted by Enigma


WHY DON'T THEY TALK?

How do you get a guy to talk to you? Share his feelings?

I guess, some or most men dont just talk. Some dont feel the urge to talk about their problems or require to let it out. And bottling it up inside, is just fine for them. Though others like to talk it out and let it out. So there are different type of men as its not a all general case here. And am sure its the same with women. Not all women do talk.

Its more of a personality trend. Beside that, yes gender wise. Females do share more personal thing amoung them compared to guys.

-----------------------

There are many ways to get a guy to talk. But I think most people, do talk if they are asked the right questions.

I think there is a certain tactic to get men to talk. If you pressurise them to talk and constantly say: "WHY DON'T YOU TALK?" That's the worst way to make them talk! It will have the complete opposite effect... But if you ask them indirectly, in a really sweet and caring way, they (hopefully) will open up! It's best that you don't ask at all and if they trust you enough, they will tell you though.

I agree with DeDe. I think most men just don't feel the need or see the point of opening up to anyone. I can totally understand that since I'm like that myself! I really don't see how talking about a problem can make me feel any better :lost: You know how they say 'a problem shared is a problem halved'? Well I don't think so. A problem shared is something that may have been a secret that's now doing rounds around the country!

Man’s Natural Tendency to Be Silent......If Adam were the only man was silent, then perhaps one could say that this conclusion is doubtful!.....But, there are several examples! Let’s look at them and see where it got them…….Everyone probably knows of God’s promise to Ibrahim that, he would have a son and be the father of a multitude, through whom God would bless the world!....After ten years, and no children, Sarah comes to Ibrahm(Abraham) and says, take my slave, Hagar, and have children with her so that God’s promise can come true!.....What did Abraham say to that!... Nothing!........ He listened to the voice of Sarah!......Then later after Hagar has Ismail, Sarah is jealous and Ibrahim tells her to do what she wants to her slave!....And he lets her treat Hagar harshly!.....So, Ibrahim was silent and did what Sarah said!.... What was the result!.....The Arab/Israeli conflict that still rages today……but.... now...Man start to talk, because women asked us..... why men don’t talk!....If we start to talk than, the will jump!..... you see this Manta is not boy, ok let me talk!......:)....... would you please come and meet me today.... so we can talk!.........you can meet me in shat al Quorum beach, near to Hyatt Regency!......:hbd: :)

Originally posted by Diva
I agree with DeDe. I think most men just don't feel the need or see the point of opening up to anyone. I can totally understand that since I'm like that myself! I really don't see how talking about a problem can make me feel any better :lost: You know how they say 'a problem shared is a problem halved'? Well I don't think so. A problem shared is something that may have been a secret that's now doing rounds around the country!

Wow well it varies from person to person. I normally have to talk to someone if I have a problem and believe me I feel a lot better :color: . It depends on who you talk to abt it. I trust my girl friends, I mean they know almost everything abt me and I know almost everything abt them :D .... and believe me it actually stays in our circle and does not get out.

Guys----Girls are sooo different.. this is the thing I adore.. o dont like guys who do things like girls and the same thing for girls..

i cant stand a guy talking alot like girls.. i really cant.. a man is a man and men are away from those things.. these things are not important for them at all but for sure they are for us.. we girls cant stay without talking..

dont know really how to say this :).. but the summary is
I like a man for being a MAN and i guess a man would like me for being a Girle :).. hehehehe:kewl:

Originally posted by kitkat

I like a man for being a MAN and i guess a man would like me for being a Girle :).. hehehehe:kewl:

Duh///////but I heard some others girls also complain, why man don’t talk? Aim a right sister!........:)

Ma self I don't talk at all!.........:laugh:

Originally posted by Manta
Duh///////but I heard some others girls also complain, why man don’t talk? Aim a right sister!........:)

Ma self I don't talk at all!.........:laugh:


DUH u back...
i didnt get ur point.. but that was my opinion and i hate talking MEN and wont ever complain of that..

Originally posted by kitkat
DUH u back...
i didnt get ur point.. but that was my opinion and i hate talking MEN and wont ever complain of that..

CELA EST UN POINT ! ...........:)

You say that again,I hope sister Energma, would not asked again.....why man don't talk!...........:)

Originally posted by Manta
CELA EST UN POINT ! ...........:)

You say that again,I hope sister Energma, would not asked again.....why man don't talk!...........:)

agaiaaan I cant get ur point..

hope u dont think that im a guy:inno: and i would really l;ike to get ur point.. would u say it again step by step

This is why men die faster; they bottle everything up till they end up with too much to hold, having a heart attack or something similar and dying.

LOL! :D

Originally posted by Enigma
This is why men die faster; they bottle everything up till they end up with too much to hold, having a heart attack or something similar and dying.

LOL! :D hi



LLOOLL:D

taht was funny, u made me laugh.......

which it could be one of the factors:p

Originally posted by Enigma
This is why men die faster; they bottle everything up till they end up with too much to hold, having a heart attack or something similar and dying.

LOL! :D


:D.........Mafishiiiiiiiiiiiiii LOL!.............. :)

Thread:Please let me talk to you....I just wanna know about
The rooms behind your minds!..........Uh do I see a vacuum there
Or am I going blind?..........Or is it just uh, remains of vibrations
And echoes long ago!.....Uh things like "Love the world" and uh
Uh "Let your fancy flow".......Is this true!.........Please let me talk to you.....Let me talk to you!.........I have lived here before The days of ice!........And of course this is why........I'm so concerned!..
And I come back to find.........The stars misplaced!......And the smell of a world!.......That is burned A smell of a world....That is burned!......Yeah well, maybe, hmm...Maybe it's just a... change of climate Hmm, hmm...Well I can dig it I can dig it baby....................
I just want to see.....So where do I purchase my ticket!.....I'd just like to have a ringside seat!.........I want to know about the new Wife Earth.....I want to hear and see everything!........I want to hear and see everything........I want to hear and see everything Yeah...Aww, sister Enigma........If my daddy could see me now
Everything, everything, everything, oh everything.......!:)

Personally:

Whenever having an everyday problem that gets to me, I call one of my friends “male”. We cruise, play tunes, and talk about everything besides the problem somehow it makes me feel super afterwards! “am not weird okay! Am just special” :os

Logically:

Sometimes and just like Sophi said you can’t go to someone and stand before them like the angel of death with heavy cold whispers “what is bothering you?” “Confess, my son” attitude is the wrong approach. There are other ways for men to talk and those include:

1- Holding a gun next to their head while shouting “Say whats on your mind mother ****er”

2- Waiting for them to start talking up (this could take life cycles)

3- Know them long enough and you could tell what is it that’s bothering them “the right way in my opinion”


Stop: Boys are taught not to cry because there isn’t enough tissues on planet earth for both boys and girls!



Islamically “ oh not again”

Here is a scene that might help women understand men better. It features Jacob remembering his son Joseph -peace be upon them-:

(84) قَالُواْ تَالله تَفْتَأُ تَذْكُرُ يُوسُفَ حَتَّى تَكُونَ حَرَضاً أَوْ تَكُونَ مِنَ الْهَالِكِينَ (85) قَالَ إِنَّمَا أَشْكُو بَثِّي وَحُزْنِي إِلَى اللّهِ وَأَعْلَمُ مِنَ اللّهِ مَا لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ (86

Ayah 85 Yusuf Ali They said: "By Allah. (never) wilt thou cease to remember Joseph until thou reach the last extremity of illness, or until thou die!"

Ayah 86 Yusuf Ali He said: "I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah, and I know from Allah that which ye know not...

We get soft and maybe some of us drop a tear, but we remain boys and we like to be seen strong not weak, In control not helpless, and firm not soft.

my eyes are filled with tears as I am done with this .. if yall excuse me for now
:weep:

Originally posted by IceTea
Men don't like to gossip like girls they normally solve their problems in a different way compared to girls. Women are driven by emotions so if someone press them a little bit they will start talking like parrots.

Telling your problem to someone is not gossip. It is asking for comfort or help. How is it gossip in any way?

Man, talking like parrots? that's so degrading...

Originally posted by DeSerTDesTroYeR
I guess, some or most men dont just talk. Some dont feel the urge to talk about their problems or require to let it out. And bottling it up inside, is just fine for them. Though others like to talk it out and let it out. So there are different type of men as its not a all general case here. And am sure its the same with women. Not all women do talk.

Its more of a personality trend. Beside that, yes gender wise. Females do share more personal thing amoung them compared to guys.

-----------------------

There are many ways to get a guy to talk. But I think most people, do talk if they are asked the right questions.

I agree, but the problem is, those people who "like to talk it out and let it out" are considered as less manly by men themselves because they don't bottle up enough. That's one big reason why some men don't talk. Even though you would find them not really believing in that, they do follow this old taboo that it seems pretty hard to shake off.

True, that trend has lots of influence and affects men overall. But again those, do talk to a limited number of people who earned their trust. And can contribute and assist in a way or another,
(with ideas).

Though those same men (some of them), might pretend they dont do it, as dont talk. Just to keep a tough image. Which I think is much weaker, then the general thought of what a weakness of a man would be.

Originally posted by Wit Insanity
I agree, but the problem is, those people who "like to talk it out and let it out" are considered as less manly by men themselves because they don't bottle up enough. That's one big reason why some men don't talk. Even though you would find them not really believing in that, they do follow this old taboo that it seems pretty hard to shake off.

I totally understand why they wouldn't want to talk to other men, but why can't they talk to females?! A man who is in touch with his feelings is always a winner with the women. :angel:

I dunno, well, I'll tell you what I think, k?

According to a book I read, Men, whenever someone tells them a problem, their mentality tells them that these people are looking for a solution. Thats why men always give advice and don't really do the "listening" thing that women do. While for women, what they do is that they mostly listen and offer emotional support.

So imo, if a man is to talk to a woman, he always feels weak, ok? add to that the fact that a woman is actually offering him emotional support, it looks as if it is adding insult to humiliation, i.e., not only he's not a man enough that he's incapable of solving his problems, BUT, a WOMAN is helping him solve his problems by emotionally overflooding him.

But hey, that's just the idea i got from the book ;)

Originally posted by Enigma
A man who is in touch with his feelings is always a winner with the women. :angel:

so is that why gay guys are almost always surrounded by girls even when they know they can't have them? :p man, you girls are weird...

I've read something along the same lines in other books... somebody give me a pin to deflate that masculine ego! :rolleyes:

I dont see why girls WANT guys to talk anyways. why cant they give them their space.. their time and maybe eventually they would say something..and even if they dont .. so what?

and anyways.. even when guys talk to girls.. they end up not understanding.. most of the time.

----------

I personally just have like.. two people whom I might consider really talking to.

----------

anyways.. to answer your question. the guy would talk only IF HE FEELS like it.. otherwise.. forcing him and pushing for it would never work. so the girl would just have to understand I guess.

i've read a lot of books that say men don't like to talk bla bla bla , and to be honest i think its just not true:no: . i don't think we should attribute characteristics to gender difference. some ppl were raised to share their feelings and some were not , and that is the bottom line :yes:

Originally posted by NaBHaN
I dont see why girls WANT guys to talk anyways. why cant they give them their space.. their time and maybe eventually they would say something..and even if they dont .. so what?


AHA!

THIS is why men and women have so many problems! Just like women fail to understand why men don't want to talk... men don't see that 'talking' and 'sharing your feelings' is what WE consider the basis for a communicative & loving relationship! So, if you don't talk to the girl.. she interprets is as you don't love her.


;)

.. first of all, the humen nature that most ppl are very reserved or conserved and dont tend to start any convos.. but if one of the parties start a convo and displied hi/lherself to the other party then nothing will stop them from talkin and sayin whatever they want..

Originally posted by Enigma
How do you get a guy to talk to you? Share his feelings?

i guess the question answers itself... if u want someone to talk to u then start the talk and share ur feelings then if u get a response that means u opened the door and things getting fine..

i guess...


cheeers:)

Any relationship that lacks communication is doomed. It's true that men don't generally talk as much as women. It all goes back to hormones; some characteristics cannot be controlled. I'm one of them and sometimes I find it difficult to form a sentence to reveal about my feelings, let alone choose a person to let them out to. Of course, background experiences and genes also play a role in this gender attribute.

Most of my best friends in the past were girls. I always found it easier to open up to girls and be myself around them. I guess the reason behind that is that there is no comparison or competition between different genders. You would both be righftfully different and impartial towards each other, whereas two people of the same gender would constantly and most likely, unconsciously, try to compete and be better than the other.