I know iam too young and I know I have alot of time in my hands (Inshallah) and I also know its not the time to think about this issue which is marriage at this young age and I am not exactly worried about it but I would love to get married and sometimes I think that there is no one out there who would accept me the way iam .. I have no idea why but I feel like there is this huge barrier, wall and line between Marriage and Myself!
Will anyone accept my past?
Am I good enough to actually deserve to be wedded?
Why do I have this feeling that there is something huge that will just not allow my marriage life to work out ...

Am I a Rebel? Am I not going to be wanted by anyone just because of the way I think and live?

Originally posted by Homeless

Am I good enough to actually deserve to be wedded?


Oh dear! That's the saddest thing I've heard today! Of course you deserve to get married! So perhaps people have done wrong things in their past... but people can become better people, they can change and most importantly with time others forget :D .... whatever you did in your past, you were young then and YES OF COURSE YOU DESERVE to get married! Believe me, I feel the same way too abt love and is there someone to accept me the way I am.... well let's be optimistic shall we :D and believe that there is somehing called fate, in which that man we want comes along :D .

I just think, I am not accepted in our society being the way I am and thinking the way I think!!

u know i always have this feelin tooo .. that the person i want to get married to will not be and wnt happen ....but u know i always think being on my own is better than having someone who would hate me as a person and want to control the way i am ... so if theres no guy i wont die ! its not the end !

Homeless you are not alone..... trust me. ;)

Sometimes I feel the same way but for different reasons.

Marriage is a huge commitment, and its like giving up yourself (or heart?) to someone.... you're putting your life in that other person's. And to be honest that freaks me out lol. I have alot of issues with trust (never trust easily, only after years and years) and its indigestable to me that there is a person out there who will not hurt me (intentionally or by accident).

Also, I wonder about the same things as you do 'Will anyone just accept me the way I am'? I know I have many flaws and myself I have a low tolerance for most flaws so I naturally assume that everyone is the same as me :os

But then I figure that if I have had the same friends for the past 11 years who have never hurt me and have always tolerated me why wouldn't I be able to find a guy who's like that?

Plus I'm sure every other woman had the same fears yet all of them DO get married and many (won't say most; that's an unfair percentage) lived happily ever after.

I guess you just gotta take life in steps, don't worry about it now... you got years ahead of you in which you never know who you will stumble across.

And contrary to popular belief, there ARE guys out there (however rare they are) who accept 'rebellious' girls. Or maybe one will just fall helplessly in love with you and will have to succumb to it and brush away your past! ;)

Why do I have this feeling that there is something huge that will just not allow my marriage life to work out ...

Are you sure is not yourself to create this big barrier?

thanks guys for ur comments

I just dont want to end up with someone who is going to try to change me..

Amo,I didnt understand ur question

Girls Girls Girls!!!!
Always Comes up with Negative Vision... Why dont you think in a very positive Ways like we Man do???

By the way If you all Girls Above dont get what you wanted from your Dream.. and others who have not posted their comment yet... Remember I am Always somehwere their for You.. and your Dreams can Always be fulfilled..:D :color: . But we need to agree that we can arrange for me to Marry four in one GO..:hyper: :app: :yes:

Brother Sleyum always there to help you girls don't forget that ;).

Homeless if you think in that way then why don't you try to look at the things which makes Omani guys not consider you as a future wife and try to change.

Originally posted by Homeless
Will anyone accept my past?
Am I good enough to actually deserve to be wedded?
Why do I have this feeling that there is something huge that will just not allow my marriage life to work out ...

Am I a Rebel? Am I not going to be wanted by anyone just because of the way I think and live?

I guess all this will vanish when you meet mr right inshallah

Regarding the past, dont even think about it .. what happened happened and you cant bring anything back

Regarding being a rebel, well whos not :D I am myself a rebel ..ofcourse you should understand that no matter who you marry, you will have to change .. there isnt someone who is like you 100% .. the beaty about marriage is how to manage to tune yourself to suite your partner and at the same time remain who you are

Leave it to Allah .. the day will come and I am sure we will see you shining in your wedding day ;)

Thanks AP
Inshallah :)

Originally posted by Homeless
Amo,I didnt understand ur question

Don't know you so good to give advice or to judge but read a lot of what you write and from your words seems you describe yourself always as the worst person on this earth just cause you are different from others or because others see you differently; my question is, not only about marriage but in general, are you sure that the people will refuse you for what you have done or said in the past, is it not the opposite i mean you feeling different, and for sure you are cause you are sensitive and introspective, and you refusing the ordinary world which could bring you close to an ordinary personary both as friend or companion or spouse?
I think i made it more complicate but you should get the sense i hope :os

Mirror :)

I totally understand what you are going through and how you feel.....i will be adding to this post once i have the time to adress this, but you should knot that a lot of people have gone through what is going on in your head and have come through happy and furfilled...

PM is always there :)

Dont stress! :scary:

Originally posted by amo_l_oman
Don't know you so good to give advice or to judge but read a lot of what you write and from your words seems you describe yourself always as the worst person on this earth just cause you are different from others or because others see you differently; my question is, not only about marriage but in general, are you sure that the <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=people&v=56">people</a> will refuse you for what you have done or said in the past, is it not the opposite i mean you feeling different, and for sure you are cause you are sensitive and introspective, and you refusing the ordinary world which could bring you close to an ordinary personary both as friend or companion or spouse?
I think i made it more complicate but you should get the sense i hope :os


well ... I just dont think many would accept me being who iam
I wouldnt want to change ..
obviously everyone would want to change their bad habbits right but i am not talking about all he bad habbit one person could have but iam talking bout who iam as a person ...
I wouldnt want to change the way iam for anyone ...
Iam who iam and I think the way I think and I do what I feel is reasonable and right to my extent .. and iam sure if the day comes , my partner would want to change the way iam and I dont think i am willing to change for anyone and I dont think anyone would accept me the way iam :exp:

I'm sure a lot of girls think about this all the time, maybe for different reasons, but keep one thing in mind, it is usually us who create the barrier while it's not really there.

Like many said, once you meet Mr Right, things change. We can't really assume that we know how other people think, or what other people's personalities are. I believe that there's a huge variety of characters in this world, God if it wasn't for this, you wouldn't have seen so many people get married!

As for the past, it's just that, past. You can't go back and undo what happened, BUT, you got the power within your hands to change your future, and change yourself to be better in any way you want.

Homeless, you're still young to worry over this. For the time being, try to concentrate on your studies, and try and concentrate on yourself. Try and come up with a better you, and stop worrying about finding the right person. Believe me he'll just pop up when you least expect it!;)

Originally posted by Homeless
I dont think i am willing to change for anyone and I dont think anyone would accept me the way iam :exp:

Don't know who are all those anyone you talk about: all i see here, is a beautiful crazy girl who received the gift to see the world from a different angle, and who is able to communicate her vision to that other angle of the world.
Never been married nor i think i'll be at this age but i can say that we all change with time and events and no matter what exactly influences these changes but they come from our innerself first.
God's willing, one day you will find the person who will accept you for who you are and maybe will ask you to modify little things or it will be you yourself to feel the need to change, not only for that person but cause you'll realise that for the sake of the deep love you both feel for each other, a change might be necessary and you won't feel deprived of something but will be happy to discover another side of yourself.
As you said to Candy, our own nature cannot be totally changed but modified if worth of.

The world is a small place and maybe the society you live in, won't accept you for what you are, but you might be the 'coolest' person in another society. Just an example, thats all ... I'm by no means trying to make you think against marrying an Omani, but if worst comes to worst you should get married to someone who takes you and accepts you, for all your faults and yet loves you. ;)

Either way, I think its early for you to start worrying about why and how you won't be accepted. If you're getting depressed, as Amo said earlier, I'd suggest you "change" yourself to groove into your society.

Marriage can be something of a big step to commit to, but once you find the right person who can accept you for who you are then its totally worth the effort. You don’t entirely have to change for that person, but maybe little things can be changed to improve and allow you to be better suited for each other.

What makes you think that the person you end up with will be perfect in everyway? Everyone has faults and every human makes mistakes we are never complete but should learn to see beyond the outer shell to the individual within.

There are never guarantees in life but more than most it always nice to take the risk, live life and don’t regret who you are but simply learn from your mistakes. Better yourself from within and know that whoever comes into your life would not know you completely 100%....they should fall for YOU in all your uniqueness…

There is someone out there who will and can accept YOU as an individual, but you can never expect it to be easy…life is never tranquil.

Dr N, Amo-Oman,Shinoda and Warda , thanks so much for ur comments,advice and encouragement .. thank u :)

I think that there's someone out there for everyone, someone who will accept you the way you are and love you despite all your faults.
The small catch is, it might be very difficult and take ages to find that someone. :os

I think that there is no one out there who would accept me the way iam .. I have no idea why but I feel like there is this huge barrier, wall and line between Marriage and Myself!
Will anyone accept my past?--Homeless



I am sorry to see your post. You are a nice person as much i know. Why do you think so? And "my past" , what you wanted to say dear? How can we comment not knowing what is bothering you!
:confused:

:D

Duh for sure if your homeless no body would bother about you!

Homey don’t worry I am almost like you so we can match!……….:)

Originally posted by Homeless
I know iam too young and I know I have alot of time in my hands (Inshallah) and I also know its not the time to think about this issue which is marriage at this young age and I am not exactly worried about it but I would love to get married and sometimes I think that there is no one out there who would accept me the way iam .. I have no idea why but I feel like there is this huge barrier, wall and line between Marriage and Myself!
Will anyone accept my past?
Am I good enough to actually deserve to be wedded?
Why do I have this feeling that there is something huge that will just not allow my marriage life to work out ...

Am I a Rebel? Am I not going to be wanted by anyone just because of the way I think and live?

I would except you without a blink of an eye!

All you need is a man who is secure with a strong woman!

They are plenty who will feel intimidated ... but plenty too who will not flinch at make every day happier than the next for you!

No regrets ... no explainations ... just find someone that will ACCEPT you!


:color:

Originally posted by Homeless
thanks guys for ur comments

I just dont want to end up with someone who is going to try to change me..

Amo,I didnt understand ur question

Homy, I am surprised you said:

"Will anyone accept my past?
Am I good enough to actually deserve to be wedded?"

Why wouldn't someone accept your past and do you feel that your past is 'dark' for a man not to accept it? I don't know what your past hides and I don't think you should give us any explaination here. If someone is meant for you and loves you, he will surely have to accept your past even if he might have a hard time to digest it.

When the times comes for you to meet your better half, I advise you not to hide what you have done in the past and be really honnest with him...even if he ends up not telling you everything about his own past himself.

I also strongly advise you to never show a man that you feel that you are "not good enough". If you have such negative feelings about yourself, how do you expect someone else too look up at you?

Inshallah, you will meet someone worth it tomorrow, but I would want you to meet a guy who, knowing how weak you feel about yourself, might use this against you and make you feel even worst...

[size=1]Originally posted by Homeless
I just dont want to end up with someone who is going to try to change me..


Homy, in every marriage, you are bond to change and adapt yourself to different ups and downs you will be facing. It is true that a man should fall in love for who you are, but love is not the only thing feeding a marriage...there is also a lots of compromises and hard work. If you are not ready to put that energy and dedication, even at a time when you don't feel like it, then you might face some troubles.

In a marriage, you don't have only to change to please your husband or to avoid conflicts, but you often have to change for your kids sake. Having children is also very demanding and there is not time to think about yourself only, especially when they are infants...

thanks Xp for ur comments and advice..