This is a very serious issue ... Ive known for a fact that there are many omani guys and girls that have sex in a very early age .. not that age matters because u shouldnt do it anyway until u r married but then its so sad to know that there r actually ppl at a very young age that participate such a thing in an early stage in their lives ... some might say its a mistake but whats a mistake when u repeat it more that once either with the same person or other ppl?
I was discussing this with one of my friends and I was in shock when she was telling me about young girls I knew from back school who actually have sex ...
Arent they worried about their reputation and future?
Ok I know religion takes a great role in this matter but even if they arent religious , doesnt self respect count? Dont they have limits? Its such a shame!!

Very interesting topic!

Each case is different Homeless, but for sure there is no excuses for those who repeat again and the same act and kept saying to the others that it is simply a mistake.

I believe that much more teenagers or unmarried adults are sexually active here that we think, but it is all kept secret. If the men encourage such intimate relationship than the girls will surely not worry about their reputations.

The religion and certainly the abbaya are sadly two good cover ups...

I do believe that everyone makes mistakes and ur mistakes can be forgiven but actually repeating such a thing is not considered as a mistake anymore because they know wht they r doing .. their first time must have been a mistake but I do not see them regretting it or trying to fix what what they have done .. they r just making it worse for them and their families as well ..

I was really shocked and sad when i heard about those girls. The guys involved will regain theyre reputations easily but the girl's are playing with fire, they assume word wont get out..but we're in Oman everything gets out.
I think most of those girls warnt raised up well in the first place. They were not taught they're religion the way they were supposed to, the girls ive heard of are between the age of 15-18 which is a very young age for such acts. Losing their virginity is something really serious and they will be punished severly in the end, whether or not theyre parents find out. What about theyre future husband? Would it be fair on him?
None of the guys these girls sleep with is serious otherwise he wouldnt go that far with her. Theyre just having fun and those gurls are like toys to them.
I dont understand how those girls could do such things. No shame? No regret and repect for themselves and theyre families? I feel sorry for those girl's brothers, i cant even imagine what they would do if they find out!

}My Immortal{, believe me that not all these girls are not raised well. As I said in a similar thread posted in the General Sabla, some of these girls come from very good families and are even wearing the abbayas 24/7. It is a false suposition to think that their parents are to be blamed for their actions.

What amazed me the most is that such girls, who are supposed not to damage their reputation, will go to their best friend and tell everything about their sexual relations. Worst, they will go as far as telling their whole sexual history to the next boyfriend they have, hoping that they will take them seriously enough...even if these men also end up in bed with them and show no wedding ring on the table.

It is just sickening to think of it and to see how low girls would get just for the sake of having a boyfriend ..
many of them influence eachother .. living the total westernised life like nothing esle matters ...

ppl can be fooled once ... and even once is one too many times!!!

Its Not just about Sex!

u can include Alcohol, Drugs (including Weed A.K.A. Marjiuana ;) )

Are these vices harmless or are form of being COOL and do reflect how much did our teens affected by the foreign culture and Media????

or is it the price of so called globalization!!!???

the thing is that in the past such things were considered DEAD bad

nowdays guys and (Girls) talk about their experiences freely in form of showing off Like (HEEY AM COOL and HIGH Am doing wHAT I WANT! am CIVILIZED!...) WELL he or she should add (HEY AM RUBISH AND IDIOT :D )

Why such things happeing??

the responsibility of alllllll in general and parents particularly play its role here!

I think that such a phenomina which is growing WILDLY...got to be stopped!

and Word or Mouth is such a Powerful tool ;)

I agree with XP. This trend has little to do with how a person was brought up. I know quite a few ppl who have angelic, religious brothers and sisters but happen to be the most ill-behaved ppl I've come across. It's more to do with the type of company a person keeps.

Pre-marital sex happens everywhere. It's not a new concept and we shouldn't be surprised that it happens. What we should be doing is looking for ways to stop it from happening. But how do you do that? Lock up all teenagers until they hit 20? At the rate things are going I don't think that's a bad idea but it's not realistic. And the point is they shouldn't be doing it anyway until they get married, regardless of how old they are. Almost all Omanis know that pre-marital sex is haram so I don't know if there's a point in drilling that into their heads.

I think the main problem is parents today are too trusting. If a girl/boy says they're going out to 'study' or just chill with their friends the parents usually allow them. While the majority may be doing what they said they'll be doing, there are a few that end up in situations that are less than respectful. So what's the solution? I don't feel like there's much I can do to change things but you sure as hell won't be seeing MY sons and daughters out ANYWHERE dodgy without the company of an adult (except when they go to school) until the day they get married. Harsh, but effective. And maybe they'll even forgive me by the time they're 50.

simple: Any girl who has SEX before marriage is a B*TCH, and will go to hell!
No such thing as mistake, mistake, mistake...What is "mistake"... You have to have control and strength over ur emotions and wantings. whether the family has taken part in raising the girl properly or not, its the girl to blame, her herself and no one else. Well and the guy actually... (this goes for both). That is the challenge, not sleeping around everywhere.

Originally posted by Homeless
but even if they arent religious , doesnt self respect count? Dont they have limits? Its such a shame!!

I believe that women too enjoy having sex. If they keep repeating it, I wouldn't say that just pressure is playing a part, but rather than the women enjoy having sex themselves. Maybe a factor being is that the society is sexually frustrated, only being allowed to have sex after marriage, and that normally happens at a very later age than before, over 23 years old perhaps? :rolleyes: That is another reason why we have an increase in homosexual acts.

When Islam prohibited sex before marriage, people got married at very a young age, at the onset of puberty. So they didn't have the problem of being sexually frustrated, as many young Muslims are facing nowadays coz of the delay of marriage age.

The only drive that can stop you having sex before marriage; is not society (although it can contribute, you can still do it in secret), or how the way you've been brought up, but your faith and beliefs. Only your fear of God can stop you having sex before marriage.

well said Catrina...:) You are right..

i will come with Further Comments.. later 2day..

Peace..:angel:

Thugy, what you said earlier somehow indirectly made me seem as if you were calling me an idiot or a piece of trash. No worries, even if you were! :) Either way, I'm not going to include smoking pot and drinking alcohol into this current issue, since I obviously see a difference.

Sex ... well, people have sex early since it sounds so cool when their seniors (elder friends at school or elsewhere) tell them about it and because their parents never talked to them about it. It may not be really cool and it may sound terribly stupid, but some people really do try things to see how it feels and know what it actually is like. Others simply do it once, enjoy it and keep doing it ... specially in countries where losing one's virginity doesn't account for a lot of ill-happening to that particular person, I don't see a point why it wouldn't be over-done!

In other countries, like the third world countries, where check ups are done to see if the girl's a virgin, there seems to be a rise in the number of anal sex cases ... simply because they want to have sex or can't get enough of what they've had before.

And to add to that, guys mis-use girls. Get them drunk, add pills to their drinks and sleep with them at night. Next day, they brag to their friends about it ... all pathetic, on the part of the girl and the guy, at the end! :irk:

Originally posted by Shinoda LP
Thugy, what you said earlier somehow indirectly made me seem as if you were calling me an idiot or a piece of trash. No worries, even if you were! :) Either way, I'm not going to include smoking pot and drinking alcohol into this current issue, since I obviously see a difference.
:

I was commenting based on our culture and religion
I know the situation is different out there or in different communities...and that would be understood.

what is normal to them dont have to be normal to us :)

and when U look the negatives and positives of both sides directions...the answer might get clearer latter ;)

Its all boils down to ones upbringing!!!

I know girls out there that are 15,16,17 and up to 25 years old! that are having sex and getting pregnant and their parents don't know about it!:)

Originally posted by Manta
I know girls out there that are 15,16,17 and up to 25 years old! that are having sex and getting pregnant and their parents don't know about it!:)

Are you their P.I.M.P ?

Originally posted by H-Highness
Are you their P.I.M.P ?

Let's hope he's not.

And i agree with H-Highness. A person is moulded by their environments and their experiences and sometimes meeting the wrong ppl or being in the wrong places can affect you.

I, for one, was brought up in a religious home, and at some point of my life, my parents decided to aid the blocking out of certain activities (like going out to parties and hanging out at certain places) ... because of that, i disagree with the notions of pre-marital sex.

Girls who have sex before marriage probably do it because, of sexual frustration, they've been influenced or because of the environment they grew up in. But, no matter how bad the situtation is they shouldn't give what's really valuable away.
I honestly think it's filthy and can't imagine myself doing it for any of those reasons! For those who have been doing it will find it pretty hard to stop, especially since they enjoy doing it. I doubt there's a solution to this problem because it's gets worse every single time. Most girls of today don't know that a girls best quality is her virginity.

Hey!:confused:

This is not a social problem of Oman but a global issue.

I raised similar topic once

You know we can discuss but can’t come to a solution..

I am worried

Of course Sex is a vital issue in Life. But you have to consider the good and bad impact of misuse and abuse.

all i can say is that this is a the result of the lack of religion and guidence..if the girls feared God then they wont even think of commiting such an act..

add to that, it is haram and very shameful for a girl to sleep with a guy she;s not married to! why would she do such a thing?! and as usual..the guy claims he loves her and give all that B*LLSH*T! and then after he does what he always intended to do..BYE BYE!:wave: and he'll look for another girl to sleep with..! it really makes me sick when i see how those girls r treated after what those guys did to them! and sometimes the girl is sooo stupid that she falls for that SH*T she gets from the guy! i mean : HELLO! any guy who wants to sleep with u obviously doesnt love u..coz if he did, then he'll go straight to u parents and ask for u hand !! not go sleep with then throw u like a worthless piece of SH*T!:fire:

Originally posted by Scarlet
and as usual..the guy claims he loves her and give all that B*LLSH*T! and then after he does what he always intended to do..BYE BYE!:wave: and he'll look for another girl to sleep with..! it really makes me sick when i see how those girls r treated after what those guys did to them! and sometimes the girl is sooo stupid that she falls for that SH*T she gets from the guy! i mean :


Hmmm.... I think that they do it coz the girls themselves want to have sex. Maybe yes they do feel safe with that guy, but as Sensational said I think it has a lot to do with sexual frustration! That's just stereotype that women want abstinence, women do want their sexual needs to be fulfilled! Women are horny sexual beings as well.

Although of course, it is haram, and they have to control themselves, and only do it after marriage, as what is specified in religion.

Originally posted by H-Highness
Are you their P.I.M.P ?

It gives me a headache to think about that stuff, I'm just a old man(150years)!... I don't need that kind of trouble! :D

I once thought of opening a thread about this topic anyways Hommie don’t believe everything which is told, I mean some things aren’t true, But yeah that’s so true I mean a lot of teenagers have sex with their boyfriends or whom ever and Its wrong and they know that They are doing a mistake, But some girls do it to please their loved ones, I mean you know how teenagers are!!
It’s wrong and it’s also considered as a sin and if she doesn’t have faith in god and she doesn’t care about her religion and her reputation then she would do whatever! Or him, o besides Parents play a huge role in this!!
If they guide their children from the beginning, such sinful things won’t happen in a way.

I am sorry to say that in some cases upbringing as nothing to do with this. My husband told me just today that he saw a girl, that we both knows very well, playing poll in a well known hotel and this surrounded by guys and few of her girlfriends.

He said he simply couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her (she didn't know he was sitting on the other side of the room). This girl has been well raised in a strict religious family and is normally covering, was a complete different person at the poll table that night.

Nowhere was a abbaya seen, she was wearing tight clothes and a sleevless shirt. She allowed one of the guy (who was probably her boyfriend) to touch, hug and kiss her everywhere...in full public view!!

My husband, knowing that she comes from such a good family was really disgusted by what he saw and called her to say how ashamed he was of her behaviour. He said that if she was so sexual, she should at least do her dirty business behind close doors but not publicly. He believe that her behaviour showed that she already gave herself and he knows her father would have killed her if he saw her doing what she was doing that night.

She is not even allowed by her parents to go to such place, but they probably think that she is at her friend ....studying!:rolleyes:

^^^ That's such a sad story X-P.

I don't think that upbringing nor culture can stop a person what is considered to be haram. These children who had a very strict upbringing may easily question it when they become adults. Or if they travel abroad to study, they easily diss all those values, and do everything that is considered to be haram.

The only think that can stop a person from doing what is haram is fear of Allah. Wherever that person is, in Oman or a Western country, they will not think of doing something that is haram coz of the fear of Allah.

I personally (although my parents were very overprotective of me) was given a lot of freedom, is a sense I never had a strict upbringing, they trust me a lot and I was given a lot of responsibility of my own decisons since I was very young. What my parents concentrated on was not to lock me behind bars and force me to wear black from head to toe, but they concentrated on me having a very spiritiual upbringing. Making me fear and love God from a very early age, telling me a lot abt religion since I was a child and not waiting till I hit puberty. As a result, even though no ones watching over me here in the UK, I do not drink, do drugs, wear skimpy clothes, or go dancing in front of men.

My parents were pretty smart :kewl: they knew what to focus on; that is to focus on the religious aspect when I was a young child and not the cultural one.

X-p...i know many many girls who do the same things..and PUBLICLY! i mean..if u girls care about ur reputation and what ppl will say when they see u..and how that will reflect ur upbringing..and ur parents..then u would enevr even think of doing such a thing..

i really feel sorry for the parents..add to that..most do sleep with their bf's simpy because they want to show him how much they love him..and so he can be sure..coz he doesnt believe her when she says she loves him...she has to have sex with him to proove her love and care towards him..!

:yuck:

These girls u guys are talking about, it will hit them one day what they are doing and will realize where they are heading to.. we just gotta like pray that allah yehdi these kind of people..

Originally posted by Kazablanka
These girls u guys are talking about, it will hit them one day what they are doing and will realize where they are heading to.. we just gotta like pray that allah yehdi these kind of people..

I'll say AMEN to that :yes:

Originally posted by Scarlet
coz he doesnt believe her when she says she loves him...she has to have sex with him to proove her love and care towards him..!


I've ALREADY told my 8 year old about the "if you really love me you will" line (although in the context of kissing! I don't think she gets the rest yet!) ... that's how you can spot the users ... I can't believe girls fall for that ...

ughhhhh

I agree with what most of you have said, especially Cat. I just want to add a few things.. First of all, we all know that the female is wrong, but why didnt anyone say anything about the male? Then you wonder why the female is always blamed. They are BOTH wrong, and I dont think you should call the girl all the swear words from A-Z and let the guy get away with it.

Another thing.. I can't help noticing how we are always judging people! Whenever someone does something wrong, I see people talking badly about her/him (Not in sabla, in real life). They go on calling them names and saying how badly they were brought up, etc. If you really cared you would go and advise them. Otherwise, I think its better to remain silent. We all make mistakes (not as big as that, but u know what I mean) and one day we are all gonna be judged. What gives any one of us the right to stand up high and critisize others? Work on improving urself and when you are perfect (nobody is yet!) you can say all you want about others. Oh and another thing.. talking about people is a sin! :rolleyes:

I used to feel shocked 3 years back when listened to such stories & about whome?!!! Girls who r always around me & have looked respectable to me!!!
But not any more, after I've heard about what parents reaction when they know about their daughters specificly ( Cayz they are the one who gonna be hurt from such relationship after all in our society). Do u belive that their mams take them from their hands to get ride of that baby if they got pregnant??!!:shut: Then they take them to make virginity operation as nothing had happen?!!
Which really drive me crazy that these girls will make the same mistack over & over, & their parents keep their support & Crap solutions?!!:kewl:

What I wanna say that it's not the teens mistack it is the PARENTS, who direct their childrens either to the right path or the other way which we all what is its end!!

Do u know the prb that still exist in our socitey which we still discuss it over & over?!! "Sex education"

Although we got high education & most of the parents has got good education we still raise our children in a wrong way, which has been controled with our old traditions that has nothing to do with our religion!!!!

Many family still belive that "sex" is a topic that not allowed to talk about & their children will know about it when they get married?!! Duuuuh!!

" It's only 3aib & 3aib to talk about any thing relate to sex!! & they don't know it's natural desire grow with the humen since he was born & day after day if they didn't guide him/her they will try to know about it in other ways maybe positive or nigative"

It is like when you lock a room in your house & ask your children to not come near it & don't try to open it with out giving a logical reason!! It's always there infront of their eyes, many Qs in their minds till one day they try to find answers for them by themselves.

Just educate you kidds, bros & sisters about this topic & convince them it's not "3aib" or "7aram" if it is in the right time & situation, so they will never think to have a try to get their own answers.

Cheers

yella , what can we do .. allah yihdeena jamee3an inshallah!

Originally posted by Cerulean
What gives any one of us the right to stand up high and critisize others? Work on improving urself and when you are perfect (nobody is yet!) you can say all you want about others. Oh and another thing.. talking about people is a sin! :rolleyes:

Cerulean, I am surprised of your post as I believe no one here gave any identity or even a detail exposing a specific girl. How can we talk about this problem if we do not give exemples of life that we know?

Talking about something negative doesn't mean that we critisize or show that we are better than the others. Is it really a sin to share the experiences we had, or lived with unidentified others, so to inform the members who ignore the existence of such problems in this society or in the world?

Exy I was not talking about sabla. I was talking about the way people talk about "certain" people in reality. ;)

Originally posted by Manta
I know girls out there that are 15,16,17 and up to 25 years old! that are having sex and getting pregnant and their parents don't know about it!:)


And their parents dont know about it???
And how do they hide that pregnacy and for How long till their parents see big bang!!!:bang:

Originally posted by H-Highness
Are you their P.I.M.P ?

Come on HH.... give a guy just a space to Breath.:D
He is too Old to be a PIMP.. That was funny comment:D :haha:

as far as it is "SAFE SEX" and "CONTRACEPTION" is taken into account, then its OK!!

and of course if the girl is a major and can take decisions regarding her life!!

The HITMAN

Sure, Hitman. But thats in your own world.

Originally posted by DeSerTDesTroYeR
Sure, Hitman. But thats in your own world.

DD i live in this world with all its reality, where do u live?

The HITMAN

Originally posted by Scarlet
--
coz he doesnt believe her when she says she loves him...she has to have sex with him to proove her love and care towards him..!

If he really love her and cares for her,he wouldnt ask her to do that. He must have some respect towards her.I belive any guy who is really in love with girl would respect the girl in nay form,and might not even touch her,but all this whats happening now days its the influence ppl get from the western and media.

Thats what they called being civilesed? It the way we get lost and forget who we really are,having no fear of ALLAH and no faith. I hope one day they'll open their eyes and ears and realise what they are doing.

ALLAH yihdina(inshallah):angel:

Originally posted by Sleyum
And their parents dont know about it???
And how do they hide that pregnacy and for How long till their parents see big bang!!!:bang:

Yaaaaaaap!:)

I havent read all the replies, but Im going to give my 2 baizas.

I think the problem really boils down to two things:
1) Friends
2) The ease of things.

Upbringing is one vital aspect of how we turn out later in life, but even more of an influence are the company we keep. This has been talked about to death, so I wont go into that.

Here in Muscat, at least with the social group I observe most (rich, upper/upper middle class teenagers, mostly from private schools), its simply too easy for them to get whatever they want. Their parents are in a different world, and so its 3adi for them to stay out till 2, 3 in the morning, doing whatever the hell they want, every day of the week. Their parents dont know, dont care. Im even talking about 13 and 14 years old here, as well as older ones. Its pretty sickening.

Like someone said, it takes will power, and inner strength, partly born of faith, to keep yourself in check. But this isnt a problem thats going to go away.

Bottom line ... GIRLS ARE REALLY DUMB!! 2 think that the

boy would neva leave her after he got wht he wanted...i say it

Loud & Clear..Dumb Dumb Dumb....they should control

themselves no matter wht...n the prob with men is that they take

women as SEX OBJECTS ... i mean theres more in a woman

to that...!!!:fire: .. well women r the weaker sex..n well its the

worse thing..coz thats how they r easily used right under thier

noses..n even if she knew it..she'd stillplay along...hmmmmm n y

is dat...oh well coz !!"HE SIMPLY LOVES ME..!!" ..WELL

WAKE UP HUN...THEY AINT NO LOVE WHEN HE AINT RESPECTING

YA IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!:shoot: :irk: :bang: :fire: :mad:

SO FOR ONCE LADIEZ USE UR "BRAINS" & NOT UR HEART WHEN IT

COMES TO SUCH THING..!!!

Its not always the parents as some of u said. Sometimes its the friends!

Two weeks ago i found out that a friend of mine who was in my class from 3rd grade to 7th grade had sex.
In 8th grade she went to another skool where she made friends with this Christian friend who is known as a BI*CH.

When my friend used to be in my skool i wont say she was an ANGEL nor a DEVIL but between the two. But then her new friend spoiled her. She is the kind of gal who could be spoiled really fast.

One weekened her parents were out of the country, so she actually brought this guy who was in her class and did it IN HER OWN HOUSE!!

I felt so sorry for my friend being spoiled like that... she was never EVER what she is now, but somtimes friends can REALLY effect you in a bad way.

This is so sad really...its not a new thing...sooo many girl do have sex for so many reasons :

1- They have sex for aliving ! (i'm really serious Omani girls..very young ones too )

2- They do it for a reason called "love"!

3-They do it for revenge.( as for boys to hurt the girl's raputation!)

i heared that there is this girl who had sex with whatever guy and then she got pragnant and then her mother took her abroad for an abortion and to make her a virgin again ( its an opertaion) and then she started to do it all over again and again and again and now she is even dirtier than the animals and all Oman knows her and knows everything about her !:sorry:

i think this depends on the enviroment and these young children live in ...and thier religeous side...

so sad really !:sorry:

Originally posted by Pineapple Thief
I havent read all the replies, but Im going to give my 2 baizas.

I think the problem really boils down to two things:
1) Friends
2) The ease of things.





i completely agree with you friends really play a big role in this matter....

it's very hard to convince teens that their friends are not good because they do this and that..... in fact their teen friends persuade them to do such things......because if they didnt do it they are called muta'7aleffen ( not civiliazed)

it's very hard to convince teens that their friends are not good because they do this and that..... in fact their teen friends persuade them to do such things......because if they didnt do it they are called muta'7aleffen ( not civiliazed)

Its not all FRIENDS. Friends dont always spoil you, it depends WHAT KIND OF FRIEND? a good or bad one? sometimes friends can make you a better person. But it all goes back to....
WHA KINDA FRIEND! :D