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Neena
20-07-00, 06:51 PM
Well hear are some jokes .. they are kinda nusty but thats all what i got .. you know sometimes you tend to be nasty !! lol


A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group. After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do
She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it there.

She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!". The teacher leaned over and said quietly to little Mary, "We don't say that in school."

Little Mary looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Not even when things are all ****ed up?!"


A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny answered. The salesman
asked if his father was at home. Johnny said "yes". The salesman said, "Well, can I see him please?"

Johnny snickered, and said, "No, he is in the shower." Then the
salesman asked if his mother was at home. Johnny said, "yes." The salesman said,"well can I see her?"

Johnny snickered again and said, "no, she's in the shower too." The salesman then asked, "do you think they will be out soon?" Johnny laughed this time and said "no."

The salesman asked why. "Well", Johnny said, "when my dad asked me for the vaseline I gave him some super glue."


One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy
him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we
have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a
bicycle? Wait until Christmas."

Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well,the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time."

Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.
The boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, "And I'll be DAMNED if I get stuck with a $80,000 mortgage!"


LOL ... well thats only for today .... and there will be more soon !!!




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Al Harthy

Kamakazy
20-07-00, 07:31 PM
LOOool

nasty joke u got there,

http://www.omania.net/evip/ubb/biggrin.gif

cheers,

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Take it easy, this is only the internet! feel free, coz life is not!

Neena
20-07-00, 07:55 PM
LOL ... well I told you that before reading it ... . Well they are only few and there are more to come very soon .. Hope you all like them !!


Cheers

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Al Harthy

PILOT
22-07-00, 08:41 AM
HI FOLKS
IT IS NICE GO HEAD MAN


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Üíßã PILOTÇÎÜÜÜ
YOU have the right to hold your opinion

Kamakazy
24-07-00, 04:10 AM
here are some jokes i got hope u like them:

It is always guys who are romantic! And girls always put them down!!!

HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: May i have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, i'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!

HE: Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE: It's hot!!!

HE: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE: Okay, but would you stay there?

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! i'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think i could make you very happy
SHE: Why, are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if i asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can i have your name?
SHE: why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

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What a woman says, what she really means...

I need = I want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture,new
wallpaper...
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until
he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!

What a man says, what he really means...
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going
through now?
You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and
let's go!

cheers,


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Take it easy, this is only the internet! feel free, coz life is not!

UnKnown
24-07-00, 03:06 PM
LOL, nice jokes curious7, keep'em coming.

Byeee http://www.omania.net/evip/ubb/biggrin.gif

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