consenganious marriage(relative's marriage)

[dreams]

hi everybody,
what do omani men and women think about the marriage from family members?
do they encourage or discourage it? why?

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friend in need is friend indeed

[WWF]

hi dreams,
i think the understanding between the man 'n' woman is very important,regardless whether they r relative or not.

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good night,good fight.

[dreams]

hi WWF,
does your opinion means that you want to marry anyone regardless the relationship between you. the thing you want is understanding only not family relation?
this is what i understood if i am not wrong.

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friend in need is friend indeed

[Kamakazy]

marriage from family members is very common, and it is encouraged because both parents know alot about the other, so they are sure to workout every problem, and help each other in whatever they fall into. but i think that its unhealthy, not the marriage, but when u get kids later, they don't turn out to be strong, and most of the times have some kind of sickness.

cheers,

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Take it easy, this is only the internet! feel free, coz life is not!

[Neena]

The topic is a very nice one ... .. but in my opinion ... getting married from the family is not a really good idea for many reasons .

Kamakazy pointed out one good reason which is its not healthy getting marreid from the family . But he also said if 2 ppl get married from the family problems may be solved very easly .. which I actually totaly disagree with Him. Getting marreid from the same family ... such as ur cousin from dad or mother side its not really a good idea at all. First to many sikness will be transfer to your kids .. and some of them are quite serious. Second, if 2 ppl actually get married from the family.. and anything between them go wrong .. maybe the 2 family will have a fight between each other ... so you really can't say that problems between them will be solved becuase they are from the same family thats wrong ... it will just make things worse .

I would prefer ppl getting marreid from different familes . At least to brong in a new family with new faces . And at the end of the day its just for you are your kids .. as you know that you will be on a safe side. Never think that getting marreid from the family you are always on the safe side .. it could just be the other way round !!!!!

Cheers

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Al Harthy

[Kamakazy]

we can find family problem is every family, but i still think that marriages between the family causes less conflict between them. i mean the family would want to solve every problem ASAP. otherwise the problem will grow and grow then divorce. but if both the families know each other be4 hand, depending on their relationship they can resolve the problem ASAP. in addition, they wouldn't want to cause the family any embarrassments would they?

cheers,

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Take it easy, this is only the internet! feel free, coz life is not!

[dreams]

dear kamakazy,
how people solve problems depends on their way of thinking and how usually they handle them (problems).
in many families and i personally know them, when the fight between the couples starts, the husband gets worse in dealing with the wife saying that i am one of them and they will not do anything from me.
but, with somebody else, the husband thinks that i am the only stranger in this family so if i do cause harm to their daughter they all will stand against me. in this case he will respect his wife more than the relative husband.
but still it does not work will types of personalities.
again,
it depends on what type of persons are both couples and how do they think about the life and its problems.

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friend in need is friend indeed

[Neena]

Well ... you are very much right on what you said "dream" . Basicly what i have understood from your point of view that you prefer marriage not from the family just like me !

As i said before ... getting married from the family honestly its a very big step to do . I have about 2 to 3 cousin's who got married from the family ... and honestly they do have lots of problems such as some sikness taking over on thier kids .. and if they do have problems ... the 2 familes start a fight too .

For me ... i don;t think that i could ever get married to someone whos related to me such as my first cousin nither my second one . Actually I told my family from the very start that me getting married from the family will only be something impossible for me I want to stay far as much as possible ... and at the end its good for me and my kids !

Cheers


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Al Harthy

[dreams]

curuou7
me too. i want to be away from the family as much as i can.

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friend in need is friend indeed

[Kamakazy]

hmmm, got concept, i'm with u guys all the way. marriage from outside the family, as far as possible. about the problem solving is always depends on the kind of problem and how the family react to it. but u guys talk sense to me, and i liked what i read.

cheers,

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Take it easy, this is only the internet! feel free, coz life is not!

[Arabian Princess]

this an intresting old thread too :)

what do you guys think??

[ToomuchaT]

:D... personally, i discourage it although i dont mind it... i think it's better to have a partner not from ur family members or relatives.. i see marriage as a way for spreading the relationships and friendships so it gives a larger range of communication and makes life more active in the sense of dealing and visiting different ppl.

also it gives an oppotunity to know more abt the other ppl life styles and traditions... and this type of marriage will benifit both sides of the families...

also it's a big chance to avoid any family background diseases and illnesses.. specially those diseases related to the blood... i know that god has propsed everything for us in our lives but we have to go my the reasons which is in this case try to not get married from a member from ur family or relatives....

sometimes this issue causes a Huge problem within the family members..we see sometimes that the families hate each other cause they didnt get married from each other and it happens every day in our life.... but at the end of the day it's the groom and the groom's family to decide..

anyway as i said thats my personal thinking...;)

cheeeeeeeers:)

[refreshingair]

If we talking whats In Oman :

i see that to avoid the problems i prefer getting marry from your family members ..

first) the girl is deserved you more than another women which you donno any thing about her ..

2cond)in Oman we only thing can do is seeing the girl at home with her family before marrieg (thanks for islam)..thus not needed to make story of love before we get marrieg with flirt girls by phone..dates...ect( except if you serious to get marrieg :scary: )

thirdly) you will save " if we can say" liitle money ;)

fourthly) already you know her ..and she knows you ..each one knows the parents of each other..no problem with her "7mat":D

[Diva]

Originally posted by toomuchat
:D... personally, i discourage it although i dont mind it... i think it's better to have a partner not from ur family members or relatives..

Wow Toomuchat. I must say I'm quite surprised you said that. I thought you would say that ppl should marry their relatives to keep their lineage pure :D

[sophis^catrina]

Originally posted by refreshingair
you know her ..and she knows you ..each one knows the parents of each other..no problem with her "7mat":D

well that's true no problem with the in-laws :D .

[ToomuchaT]

Originally posted by Diva
Wow Toomuchat. I must say I'm quite surprised you said that. I thought you would say that ppl should marry their relatives to keep their lineage pure :D

believe me im a good lad :angel:

[Diva]

Originally posted by toomuchat
believe me im a good lad :angel:

I know I know. I was just tryin to wind you up :D

[ToomuchaT]

Originally posted by Diva
I know I know. I was just tryin to wind you up :D

no more arguments for a week coz im tryin to enjoy my reading week holiday ;)

cheerious:)

[Amir]

Marriage from family? But how would it look like when you get married to your own cousins? Like they're your brothers and sisters.

I can't see a cousin sister of mine as my wife in the future, no way!!!

I think as mentioned my Kamakazy, its true, if marriage from family itself it creates a lot of problems.

If consulted a genetic engineer, he or she would be able to tell you the problems that may occure in such marriages.

This sort of marriage mostly effects the children in future. The most effected part is eyes. The child will have poweless eyes and some other parts like liver and kidneys. This is to my knowledge, please correct me if I'm wrong.

[Arabian Princess]

I dont encourage relative marraiges but at the same I dont think that its wrong to marraige relatives, after all am a result of a first cousin marraige and all my bros and sisters are healthy in terms of genetical diseaes!

[Chantalle]

I personally wouldn't wanna get married to one of my relatives, especially my close relatives like my first cousins..simply, 'cause as some members stated, diseases would be transferred to the kids..and 'cause i treat all my cousins as my brothers..

[Blue_Chi]

Originally posted by Diva
Wow Toomuchat. I must say I'm quite surprised you said that. I thought you would say that ppl should marry their relatives to keep their lineage pure :D

Same here! LOL.

Well, I think that it is bad, in-family relationships can be boring, you know everything about the otherside and it is just like moving to your uncles house, I think that marriage is a whole differnet adventure, you want to move out, live your life, meet someone you don't know and spend you life wanting to learn more and more about the otherside.

On the otherside, family members can be very very very annoying. Not to mention that it is unhealthy anyway.

[sophis^catrina]

Originally posted by Blue_Chi

On the otherside, family members can be very very very annoying.

wow they must be pretty annoying :sweat: LOL .... As for me, I love my aunts and uncles :blush: I don't mind them, in fact they would be perfect to have them as in-laws, although I don't want to get married to any of their sons! :( They are not my type...

[Diva]

There are pros and cons in marrying a relative. Being family may be an advantage in the sense that you've known each other forever but then there's a chance of relationships getting really ugly in case of a divorce. Sadly the majority of ppl I know who've married their relatives are far from happy because rather than make their lives easier, their in-laws (specially mothers-in-law) are giving them hell. And of course there's always the issue of diseases.

I personally would rather not marry a relative just because I don't want things to be awkward in the family if things don't work out. And even if I've known my relatives for a long time...it's different when you're married. You're not cousins anymore but husband and wife. It's a totally different relationship that I really don't think anyone can prepare for.