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View Full Version : Afghan SC issues fatwa, allowing women to re-marry



sanwin25
25-10-03, 08:17 PM
KABUL, October 24 (Online): Afghanistan's supreme court has issued a major ruling, or fatwa, allowing women to re-marry if their husbands are officially missing for four or more years.

The ruling voids current Afghan law that requires a woman to wait 70 years before remarrying.

Court deputy Fazl Ahmad Manawi told Afghanistan's Institute for War and Peace Reporting the ruling was needed because of the years of conflict, during which many people disappeared without a trace and were, in all likelihood, dead. The decision came after judges consulted with senior Islamic scholars.

The fatwa refers to the disastrous conditions of recent years, and notes many of the missing men had been fighting in defense of the sacred religion of this Islamic land.

Officials said it was unclear how many women will be affected by the ruling, but Afghanistan is already believed to have one of the highest numbers of widows in the world as the result of years of wars and internal conflicts.

http://www.paktribune.com/news/index.php?id=42639

Interesting.

A man can marry 4 at a time and a woman must wait 70 years before remarrying.

Icy, this is the reason what Allah allowed men to marry 4 wives. Not for sex, but to look after widows such as these.

SadLad
27-10-03, 12:03 PM
Are you arguing that women should have more than one husband at the same time?!! :lost: :D

~*FaiThFuL*~
27-10-03, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by SadLad
Are you arguing that women should have more than one husband at the same time?!! :lost: :D

*Am not sure if that is sanwain was refering to, but anyhow here is a Q, ya might not take it seriously, but why shouldnt a wife have more than one husband at a time?
Now you going to say it is 7aram..bcuz then if she got pregnant they wont know whoz child it is..
But then arent there DNA paternity tests these days to know fathers of kids?
So when the child is born, let them do the test and they will know, ya will say when quran came down there werent any of these tests, but then quran was supposed to be for all ages
so let women marry 4 men if she can be equal to them, and if she got pregnant she can check whoz child it is..

sanwin25
27-10-03, 05:09 PM
No I am just commenting on the injustice of this system that allows a man to marry 4 women at a time but forces a woman to wait for 70 years before she can remarry.

Remarry, not marry a second husband.

If you took time to read the threads you understand them better.

Frankly speaking I believe it is obscene and unjust to allow a man to have 4 wives at one time but thats your business.

IceTea
27-10-03, 07:10 PM
Originally posted by sanwin25


The ruling voids current Afghan law that requires a woman to wait 70 years before remarrying.


Well this is not an Islamic law, it's thier own law. I believe if a husband is missing for some time and his family lost the hope of his return then the wife can ask for a divorce by a court of something. And she can marry again.




Originally posted by sanwin25

Icy, this is the reason what Allah allowed men to marry 4 wives. Not for sex, but to look after widows such as these.

It's only you saying that the reason for going for more than one wife is for sex only. If marraige means sex in your religion and society then I don't blame you. But for us muslims marraige is a life and buliding a new family and paractice of justice between the wives.

SadLad
28-10-03, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~
*Am not sure if that is sanwain was refering to, but anyhow here is a Q, ya might not take it seriously, but why shouldnt a wife have more than one husband at a time?
Now you going to say it is 7aram..bcuz then if she got pregnant they wont know whoz child it is..
But then arent there DNA paternity tests these days to know fathers of kids?
So when the child is born, let them do the test and they will know, ya will say when quran came down there werent any of these tests, but then quran was supposed to be for all ages
so let women marry 4 men if she can be equal to them, and if she got pregnant she can check whoz child it is..
Can't you see that the process of the DNA examination is very complicated and not easily done. Will we be doing that examination every time a lady gives birth?!!
Besides, the number of women in the world is more higher than the number of men so there will be no balance if a woman gets married to more than one man at the same time
Hope you are convinced

PEACE

MoonChild
28-10-03, 06:40 PM
Originally posted by SadLad
Can't you see that the process of the DNA examination is very complicated and not easily done. Will we be doing that examination every time a lady gives birth?!!


In ancient cultures (particularly tribal ones), paternity of a child was simply not an issue. Women were trusted to make wise choices in their mates, and the whole tribe/village raised the child. It seemed to work quite well.

that aside, DNA testing is a routine matter in advanced societies. No more complicated than making a radio. So you protests of it's "complexity" merely mask your distaste for the idea of allowing women to choose from many mates (although you don't seem to mind allowing men to do so!)

~*FaiThFuL*~
28-10-03, 09:31 PM
SadLad, I dont know how the whole process happen since am no doctor..but thanks that Moonchild stated that it isnt very complicated in advanced socities..
and anyhow if it was a lil bit complicated, then what is the matter, there are alot of things which are tough and complicated in a normal marriage, but still people go through..having birth to any child is a complicated matter, still people do it..so claiming it is complicated isnt a good exscuse...
oo b3deen ya say( will they be doing it every time a women gives birth)
as if she is going to have a child every minute wela shay!
and abt the ratio thing...
realize that I didnt say that since men have the right so women should have it means canceling out the men's right..
I mean if it is fair 2 men, it should be fair 2 women..
so same men will marry other women and the women will marry other men..

sanwin25
29-10-03, 05:09 AM
Well sadlad might be worried that the man's monopoly over women might be eroded.

Nothing to do with science.

Just insecurity and male chauvinism.

SadLad
29-10-03, 07:41 AM
All of you examined the first part of my post and ignored the second part which is that the number of men in this world is more higher than the number of women. Maybe more than the double.
So still no excuse

~*FaiThFuL*~
29-10-03, 02:30 PM
Originally posted by SadLad
All of you examined the first part of my post and ignored the second part which is that the number of men in this world is more higher than the number of women. Maybe more than the double.
So still no excuse

you are the one who seems tht he isnt readin all the posts carefully..
I told ya tht abt the ratio of women n all of tht..
{when I said women should have the right of marrying 4 men juss the way the man has it, it doesnt cancel out the man's right to marry 4 women..so the same man who is married 2 4 women, his 4 women will be married 2 another 4 men n etc
tht way every1 with have a partner}

IceTea
29-10-03, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~

{when I said women should have the right of marrying 4 men juss the way the man has it, it doesnt cancel out the man's right to marry 4 women..so the same man who is married 2 4 women, his 4 women will be married 2 another 4 men n etc
tht way every1 with have a partner}

This is really funny :)

I can't imagine one wife will be able to handle 4 husabnds :rolleyes:. It just won't work!

MoonChild
29-10-03, 05:53 PM
Originally posted by SadLad
All of you examined the first part of my post and ignored the second part which is that the number of men in this world is more higher than the number of women. Maybe more than the double.
So still no excuse

LOL, actually according to statistics, in Oman there are more men than women, particularly ages 30-40. I guess that makes polygyny OK, since your objection to is it based entirely on a misunderstanding of the facts :p

Shakoosh Kabir
29-10-03, 06:20 PM
Originally posted by IceTea
But for us muslims marraige is a life and buliding a new family and practice of justice between the wives. [/B]

Where is the justice, IT? Surely the 4 wives hate each other and plot and scheme to obtain advantage and hierarchical supremacy?

A woman could handle 4 husbands better than a man can handle 4 wives.

Enigma
29-10-03, 08:11 PM
This is very strange..... I guess Afghans took strictness to a whole other level. :os

sanwin don't be to quick to condemn, that isn't the islamic rule merely something they came up with.

If I remember correctly, once a muslima's husband has been missing for more than a year a search is set out for him, if they find him he is given a choice to either come back to her (or send support if she accepts) or divorce her. If they don't she has the right to ask for a divorce....

Plus if a man is sentenced to jail for more than 3 years the woman can also divorce him...... and then you have the time a muslim girl spends after her husband dies which only lasts about a year (or less).

I'm not sure if I'm accurate enough with my numbers but it isnt 5 years let alone 70!

IceTea
29-10-03, 10:19 PM
Originally posted by Shakoosh Kabir
Where is the justice, IT? Surely the 4 wives hate each other and plot and scheme to obtain advantage and hierarchical supremacy?


The man is requested to treat them in as a condition clearly stated in the Quran. If the wives decided to hate each other then this is their problem and they need to change their attitude and help each other to live a normal life.


Originally posted by Shakoosh Kabir

A woman could handle 4 husbands better than a man can handle 4 wives.

Women are not created to handle 4 husbands. The nature of both of them won't allow this to happen. But the opposit is possible.

MoonChild
29-10-03, 11:12 PM
Originally posted by IceTea


Women are not created to handle 4 husbands. The nature of both of them won't allow this to happen. But the opposit is possible.

I could :D

No WAY could one man satisfy me if he was servicing 3 others, though... I mean, think about it!

IceTea
30-10-03, 01:45 PM
Originally posted by MoonChild
I could :D

No WAY could one man satisfy me if he was servicing 3 others, though... I mean, think about it!

You are not a different creature than other women in the world :D, so what apply to them applies to you.

MoonChild
30-10-03, 06:15 PM
Well, good, glad you agree with me ;)

IceTea
30-10-03, 07:09 PM
Originally posted by MoonChild
Well, good, glad you agree with me ;)

About what ;)

SadLad
01-11-03, 08:59 AM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~
you are the one who seems tht he isnt readin all the posts carefully..
I told ya tht abt the ratio of women n all of tht..
{when I said women should have the right of marrying 4 men juss the way the man has it, it doesnt cancel out the man's right to marry 4 women..so the same man who is married 2 4 women, his 4 women will be married 2 another 4 men n etc
tht way every1 with have a partner}

It really sounds funny as IceT said. I'm starting to doubt your mental abilities. It seems that you want make us live like animals.:eek: We are humans. wake up Will ya!!?

SadLad
01-11-03, 09:04 AM
Originally posted by MoonChild
LOL, actually according to statistics, in Oman there are more men than women, particularly ages 30-40. I guess that makes polygyny OK, since your objection to is it based entirely on a misunderstanding of the facts :p
Any valid sources

~*FaiThFuL*~
01-11-03, 10:37 PM
Originally posted by SadLad
It really sounds funny as IceT said. I'm starting to doubt your mental abilities. It seems that you want make us live like animals.:eek: We are humans. wake up Will ya!!?

*LooL am the one who is tryin 2 make ya live like animals?
SaDLad, I dont think ya see the whole picture, this whole idea started from the point tht Islam allowed men to marry 4 women, so if that is the case, women should be given the same right, but if they were given the same right, this mess would occur as which ya describe( living like animals)
So ya would say, that is the reason women werent given this right so we wont live in a mess
But I say we already living in half the mess, in which men only live like animals marrying 4 women, so instead, there should be no mess at all , n men should marry juss one wife..
and it isnt funny..the funny part or rather the disgusting part ya allowing this mess 4 men but not 4 women..and ya shouldnt doubt my mental abilities sir..it sounds crazy now bcuz its somethin new, but men marrying 4 women is juss as crazy but since its been done and part of islam ya cant see tht it is crazy

jack
02-11-03, 01:15 AM
Originally posted by SadLad
Any valid sources
http://www.nationbynation.com/Oman/Population.html

Population:
2,713,462
note: includes 527,078 non-nationals (July 2002 est.)
Age structure:
0-14 years: 41.9% (male 579,065; female 556,923)
15-64 years: 55.7% (male 914,494; female 597,948)
65 years and over: 2.4% (male 34,555; female 30,477) (2002 est.)

SadLad
02-11-03, 07:56 AM
Originally posted by jack
http://www.nationbynation.com/Oman/Population.html

Population:
2,713,462
note: includes 527,078 non-nationals (July 2002 est.)
Age structure:
0-14 years: 41.9% (male 579,065; female 556,923)
15-64 years: 55.7% (male 914,494; female 597,948)
65 years and over: 2.4% (male 34,555; female 30,477) (2002 est.)
Since it includes 527,078 non-nationals and as you know Oman has a lot of Indians Pakistanis... who are mostly men and rarely women. There are hundrds indian men who work in building or restaurants. IT'S still not accurate.

SadLad
02-11-03, 09:34 AM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~
*LooL am the one who is tryin 2 make ya live like animals?
SaDLad, I dont think ya see the whole picture, this whole idea started from the point tht Islam allowed men to marry 4 women, so if that is the case, women should be given the same right, but if they were given the same right, this mess would occur as which ya describe( living like animals)
So ya would say, that is the reason women werent given this right so we wont live in a mess
But I say we already living in half the mess, in which men only live like animals marrying 4 women, so instead, there should be no mess at all , n men should marry juss one wife..
and it isnt funny..the funny part or rather the disgusting part ya allowing this mess 4 men but not 4 women..and ya shouldnt doubt my mental abilities sir..it sounds crazy now bcuz its somethin new, but men marrying 4 women is juss as crazy but since its been done and part of islam ya cant see tht it is crazy no one accepts the idea of a woman marrying 4 men at the same time unless you do! But there are millions people supporting the idea of a man getting married to more than one woman at the same time. Your proposal is inately not accepted.
we are not living in half a mess. Everything is organized and lots men who have more than one wife are happy and their wives as well. You must know that Allah does not allow the marrying of more than one wife unless there is a benefit behind it..

PEACE

~*FaiThFuL*~
02-11-03, 01:58 PM
their wives are happy aswell?
what is this supposed 2 be a joke?

Desert_Sloath
02-11-03, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~



*Am not sure if that is sanwain was refering to, but anyhow here is a Q, ya might not take it seriously, but why shouldnt a wife have more than one husband at a time?




Since man was made to carry out a task of maintaining this world till end of time. It is incoceivable that a woman in wifehood should be allowed to have more than one planter at a time. But rules of nature allowes provider of the house to have more than one source of farms to provide for the family. Too many planters with lesser farms lead towards inneficiency and desputes arises. In in other words you never see a land claiming inhabitants but the other way is true :p

A wife is a sacred possessions of the husband therefore she should be maintained by maintainer the place for wife is in her dominion, kitchen, and not in the field. That is why sensible men, prefer to keep that precious gain under their armpeat :blush:

~*FaiThFuL*~
02-11-03, 02:46 PM
Originally posted by Desert_Sloath
A wife is a sacred possessions of the husband therefore she should be maintained by maintainer the place for wife is in her dominion, kitchen, and not in the field. That is why sensible men, prefer to keep that precious gain under their armpeat :blush:

*Thank you..finally a man admited the real reason why men cant have thier women marrying other men..
they consider them as possessions, see that, a women now is a possession, and since she is his possession, his pride doesnt allow hin to share his possession with some1 else that would offend him..
and I see that this possession should stay inside, in the kitchen eh?
even though what u said would really annoy me on some other day, but right now am happy tht u had the guts 2 admit the real reason. not like others talkin abt ratio n babies..

SadLad
02-11-03, 02:58 PM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~
their wives are happy aswell?
what is this supposed 2 be a joke?
No it ain't a joke
It's the truth that you're trying to cloud.

~*FaiThFuL*~
02-11-03, 03:11 PM
Originally posted by SadLad
No it ain't a joke
It's the truth that you're trying to cloud.

what truth? that women are happy when they see their husband with someone else?
Which kind of a mind accepts that could ya plz tell me?
Lemme ask ya somethin ok, n dont go into mazes
a marriage is supposed to be a bond between two people who LOVE each other right?
So how can a lover stand seeing her lover with some one else?
Please u r not makin any sense 3ad awain happy tht her husband married another wife
why would she be happy, gimme one reason?

SadLad
02-11-03, 03:39 PM
Why shouldn't they be happy and live in harmony if their husband treats them equally, spends the same time with each one of them, gives them the same amount of money, respects all of them and so on?!!!
Am not saying that there aren't any who are not happy. No, There are some because there are always 2 sides to any coin.

sanwin25
02-11-03, 07:16 PM
`Faithful, you are wasting your time talking to the chauvinistic men.

I agree with you fully.

You can only truly love one person at one time.

You can lust after many all the time.

~*FaiThFuL*~
02-11-03, 09:15 PM
Originally posted by sanwin25
`Faithful, you are wasting your time talking to the chauvinistic men.

I agree with you fully.

You can only truly love one person at one time.

You can lust after many all the time.

*I guess u are right sanwin, I dunno why am wastin ma time........All that matters is I believe in what am saying a person can only love one person at a time and that is it!
as for lust..as u said it will go on n on with nottin stoppin it

sanwin25
03-11-03, 10:03 AM
You are right Faithful.

The problem is that some men on this forum confuse love with lust.

Love is from the heart.

Lust is from between the legs.

IceTea
03-11-03, 10:08 AM
Originally posted by SadLad
Why shouldn't they be happy and live in harmony if their husband treats them equally, spends the same time with each one of them, gives them the same amount of money, respects all of them and so on?!!!
Am not saying that there aren't any who are not happy. No, There are some because there are always 2 sides to any coin.

Very true, but women never satisfied thats the problem. They tend to create problems out of nothing instead of promoting love and respect in the family.

Desert_Sloath
03-11-03, 11:14 AM
Originally posted by IceTea


1:

Very true, but women never satisfied thats the problem.

2:

They tend to create problems out of nothing instead of promoting love and respect in the family.

1:

You mean like a donkey's behaviour no matter what you do give tons of dimonds or else ? How bad is that ?

2:

You mean they think and behave like does a numerous of Israeli administrations; "No matter what concessions the Palestinians administration gives still they create problems out of nothing instead of peace and respect in the co-existance."

You could be right IceTea but how awful that is and then they could be complaining of " anti-feminism " as does the other about " anti-semitism " while both are two faces of the same coin as SadLad puts it.

Guwantanamist
03-11-03, 10:30 PM
I mean if it is fair 2 men, it should be fair 2 women..

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I can see that faithful you have a problem. The problem seems that you dont trust Allah and his justnance or else you wouldnt mention all this nonsence about the right of women having more than one husband.

But anyways ,,, all this misconception arises when people do not understand the main role of a women as a wife and the main role of a man as a husband in this life. Let me remind you just incase you forgot.
The main role of a mother is to bring up good children, children that are ready to build this world according to Islamic teachings. Children who woul help the poor and feed the hungary. Children that would grow not to have only fun in this life, but instead to be able to uncover the scientific secrets of the human being and the earth and sky. Children who will grow up with leading personalities to able to guide other people from right to wrong.
This is the main role of a mother and a wife, is there such an hounrable role as this ? I dont think so...

The main role of the man is to make the environment suitable for the women so she can bring up children with her optimum performance, that is he should provide food and shelter to the women. Is this an hounrable role as the women ? Yes it is an hounrable role, but as much as the previous one. Realise that for the man to be able to perform such a role he should have been braught up in a good family environment.


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Can a women then work and bring up children ? Would she be commited for such a big role ? I dont think so... niether do i think the man can bring up the children as the mother .... WHY ? Well simply because the child will be stuck with his mother for 2 years after giving birth to him. Meanwhile who will get food ?
.....etc .. Try several senarios and you will find it impposible for a women to have more than one husband while if we try it the other way it will be possible ..and very reasonable as well. Especially when you think about the widows who dont find someone to protect her or the women who lost the male members of her family..she would then prefare being a 4th wife rather than staying alone all her life.

Think faithful and dont let your emotions guide you to what is right or what is wrong ..... a heart does not have an eye to look ahead while the brain has two !

Orion
03-11-03, 10:52 PM
Originally posted by sanwin25
No I am just commenting on the injustice of this system that allows a man to marry 4 women at a time but forces a woman to wait for 70 years before she can remarry.

Remarry, not marry a second husband.

If you took time to read the threads you understand them better.

Frankly speaking I believe it is obscene and unjust to allow a man to have 4 wives at one time but thats your business.

Really ... I gather you don't have any Mormon friends ... tsk tsk ... such intolerance.

~*FaiThFuL*~
03-11-03, 11:38 PM
*I wont re-discuss everythin with ya bcuz it seems impossiable 2 make ya see the point
But I'll juss reply on wut ya said..



Originally posted by Guwantanamist
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I can see that faithful you have a problem. The problem seems that you dont trust Allah and his justnance or else you wouldnt mention all this nonsence about the right of women having more than one husband.

*This is the problem with ya all, ya think if some1 dares 2 think or question god's a7kam he is havin a problem or isnt a respectful muslim as some people said, I guess we juss accept everythin without botherin 2 think eh?


But anyways ,,, all this misconception arises when people do not understand the main role of a women as a wife and the main role of a man as a husband in this life. Let me remind you just incase you forgot.
The main role of a mother is to bring up good children, children that are ready to build this world according to Islamic teachings. Children who woul help the poor and feed the hungary. Children that would grow not to have only fun in this life, but instead to be able to uncover the scientific secrets of the human being and the earth and sky. Children who will grow up with leading personalities to able to guide other people from right to wrong.
This is the main role of a mother and a wife, is there such an hounrable role as this ? I dont think so...
The main role of the man is to make the environment suitable for the women so she can bring up children with her optimum performance, that is he should provide food and shelter to the women. Is this an hounrable role as the women ? Yes it is an hounrable role, but as much as the previous one. Realise that for the man to be able to perform such a role he should have been braught up in a good family environment.
[Can a women then work and bring up children ? Would she be commited for such a big role ? I dont think so... niether do i think the man can bring up the children as the mother .... WHY ? Well simply because the child will be stuck with his mother for 2 years after giving birth to him. Meanwhile who will get food ?

*Mmm lemme see ya 1st tell me ya gonna tell me abt the role of the women n man, then it changed ya say the role of wife n the husband n then the mother n the father...!
I get from wut ya say tht the role of the women as a wife to be a mother who rises up good kids to do good things..But if a women cant have kids, she has no role in life? since she cant be a mother eh? What about playing a role in society? Help people out there by working? Realize please that working isnt juss about money but about being some one and doing somethin n I really belive in that..
You also seem to be havin a problem with women workin, ya say how can a women work and yet rise up her childern? tsk tsk are ya sayin women who work arent capable or rising up her childern well?
Okay not for four 1st years of his life am with ya, she should be there for him, but then when he goes to nursery n then skool, she still has to be at home? what will she do? rise up the house??
Realize rising up a child doesnt mean being there all the time doing nothin, but about being there n doing somethin not necessairly all the time..
and you will say okay those four years who will bring food n money? I'll tell ya a women workin doesnt mean the man doesnt have to work, let them both work, and at the time of her birth let her take a holiday at least for a year..
Itsnt a big deal you know..
They can both have their own money, share it if they want, spend it on their kids, without having the women being totally dependent on the man..


.....etc .. Try several senarios and you will find it impposible for a women to have more than one husband while if we try it the other way it will be possible ..and very reasonable as well. Especially when you think about the widows who dont find someone to protect her or the women who lost the male members of her family..she would then prefare being a 4th wife rather than staying alone all her life.

*yeah this is yr problem, a widow who is working and is independent can protect herself by herself she doesnt need a man to do it for her okay..
And yeah maybe she would prepare being a 4th wife, but what about the 1st wife, you make marriage seem like some deal, some routine without any feelings, PLEASE cwhy do ya keep ignoring the fact that no women can stand seeing her husband being with some one else, do ya lack the ability to understand love
and over n over I heard men here on fourm talkin abt women should fullfill the man's needs and thts why he should marry four n bla bla, what about a women's sexual needs? I mean by him marrying four, ofcourse the times the will be havin sex will be less, true it will be equal between all the wives, but yet it will be less, who will fullfill tht women's needs?
N dont gimme nonesense abt women havin less sexual needs n desires then men ok..tht theory is wrong and every1 by now knows it..

Think faithful and dont let your emotions guide you to what is right or what is wrong ..... a heart does not have an eye to look ahead while the brain has two !

sanwin25
04-11-03, 06:38 AM
Really ... I gather you don't have any Mormon friends ... tsk tsk ... such intolerance.

No I do not have any Mormon friends.

And correct me if I am wrong, but Mormons are no longer to have more than 1 wife.

And I think it is also abominable if the Mormons marry more than one woman at a time.

So, which intolerance would you be talking about Orion ?

MoonChild
04-11-03, 06:30 PM
Originally posted by IceTea
Very true, but women never satisfied thats the problem. They tend to create problems out of nothing instead of promoting love and respect in the family.

Back in full force of mysogynistic crap, I see :rolleyes:

Just because you can't satisfy your wife, doesn't mean that others can't ...

Guwantanamist
04-11-03, 09:15 PM
*I wont re-discuss everythin with ya bcuz it seems impossiable 2 make ya see the point

Why do you judge before going into the discussion ? We will go through the discussion and the right will stand upon any other idea.
Anyways its enough to see those who hate Islam supporting you. Makes me more comfortable....

Into the discussion ....


*This is the problem with ya all, ya think if some1 dares 2 think or question god's a7kam he is havin a problem or isnt a respectful muslim as some people said, I guess we juss accept everythin without botherin 2 think eh?

Well if you were thinking only then i would have simpily replied to you trying to explain. Rather than thinking and questioning to understand,, you already made a decision and you already juged that allah is not fare and that his laws are disgusting ! (asta'3firu allah).
Quoting you ---> "the funny part or rather the disgusting part ya allowing this mess 4 men but not 4 women"
or
"but men marrying 4 women is juss as crazy but since its been done and part of islam ya cant see tht it is crazy"

This only shows how much you dont trust allahs teachings. Do you know the hidden (el'3ayb)? Are you the creator of man kind ? Ofcourse not so why are you in dought about something Allah the creator of everything has outlined in Islam, the religion he accepted for us human beings ?
Anyways just as a reminder ...

ÝóÅöä ßõäÊó Ýöí Ôóßøò ãøöãøóÇ ÃóäÒóáúäóÇ Åöáóíúßó ÝóÇÓúÃóáö ÇáøóÐöíäó íóÞúÑóÄõæäó ÇáúßöÊóÇÈó ãöä ÞóÈúáößó áóÞóÏú ÌóÇÁßó ÇáúÍóÞøõ ãöä ÑøóÈøößó ÝóáÇó Êóßõæäóäøó ãöäó ÇáúãõãúÊóÑöíäó 94 æóáÇó Êóßõæäóäøó ãöäó ÇáøóÐöíäó ßóÐøóÈõæÇú ÈöÂíóÇÊö Çááøåö ÝóÊóßõæäó ãöäó ÇáúÎóÇÓöÑöíäó 95
But if you are in doubt as to what We have revealed to you, ask those who read the Book before you; certainly the truth has come to you from your Lord, therefore you should not be of the disputers.
And you should not be of those who reject the communications of Allah, (for) then you should be one of the losers.

Guwantanamist
04-11-03, 09:39 PM
Mmm lemme see ya 1st tell me ya gonna tell me abt the role of the women n man, then it changed ya say the role of wife n the husband n then the mother n the father...!

I cant see where i went wrong over here, can you please clarify ?
The role of the women as a mother, as a wife and as a sister is more or less the same;
The mother would take care of her children
The wife would take care of her husband when he comes exhausted from work
The sister would take care of her younger and elder brothers and sister (according to her abilities ofcourse)


But if a women cant have kids, she has no role in life? since she cant be a mother eh? What about playing a role in society? Help people out there by working? Realize please that working isnt juss about money but about being some one and doing somethin n I really belive in that..

Now you are talking about how many percent of women over here that cannot get kids ? 0.5% out of the worlds population ?
Even if it was larger than that...... the usual thing is that rules are outlined according to the majoroty not according to the minoroty.

But anyways i never said that bringing up children is the ONLY role of a women, i said it is the main role.... Or else who would check women in the hospital ? Who would teach girls in school ? Who would be able to handle pregnant women when they give birth ?
So yes women do have a role in the society, but again her physical abilities cannot be compared to men, that is why we rarely see women working in drilling ... nor do we see women working as mechanics, simply because it does not suite there delicate fingers which are more adapted and more useful to handle newly born babies with care.
Again womens abilities in making decisions that are concerened with politics is not as good as men. There emotions would lead them far away from making the right decision at the right time.




workin doesnt mean the man doesnt have to work, let them both work, and at the time of her birth let her take a holiday at least for a year..
A year ?!
What is the sin of the poor kid to be not naturally feeded stright away from the breast of his mother ?
You know that sceintifically the mothers milk composition change with the growth of the child. i.e. as the child grows up the glands change the percentage of minirals in the mothers milk to make it more useful for the child at that age.
You will say that she can take a holiday for 2 years ?
What about the production in the company or organization ? Wouldnt it be effected ? It means you will have to emply someone else and then after two years you will have an extra employee that would cost the company/organization an annual amount of money for no use !



PLEASE cwhy do ya keep ignoring the fact that no women can stand seeing her husband being with some one else, do ya lack the ability to understand love
I do understand love, maybe more than you do. But i never make my feelings drag me away for a long time.
Anyhow here is another misconception .. people think that marriage based on love is more succesful than other marriage. I personally believe that love naturally comes with respect between the two parties i.e. the man and the women.
Yet LOVE in the sake of Allah is the love that will continue for a longer time... and you can love more than one in the sake of Allah .. infact a 1st wife can love the 2nd wife in the sake of Allah as well. And what is better and higher than love in the sake of Allah ? Love that would result in the shading on judgment day when there is no shade but Allahs shade !

~*FaiThFuL*~
04-11-03, 10:40 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Guwantanamist
[B]I cant see where i went wrong over here, can you please clarify ?
The role of the women as a mother, as a wife and as a sister is more or less the same;
The mother would take care of her children
The wife would take care of her husband when he comes exhausted from work
The sister would take care of her younger and elder brothers and sister (according to her abilities ofcourse)[B]

*Yeah I can see that this her role in ur opinion, taking care of her husband when he comes exhausted from work..nottin wrong with that a wife should look after her husband..but then a husband should look after a wife too, why cant ya say that they both take care of each other when they come back from work?
*Its isnt the sister's role to take care of her younger sister and older sisz n brother..Its both the sis'z n bro'z role, they should both take care n look after each other..that is a shared role



[B]Now you are talking about how many percent of women over here that cannot get kids ? 0.5% out of the worlds population ?
Even if it was larger than that...... the usual thing is that rules are outlined according to the majoroty not according to the minoroty.

But anyways i never said that bringing up children is the ONLY role of a women, i said it is the main role.... Or else who would check women in the hospital ? Who would teach girls in school ? Who would be able to handle pregnant women when they give birth ?
So yes women do have a role in the society, but again her physical abilities cannot be compared to men, that is why we rarely see women working in drilling ... nor do we see women working as mechanics, simply because it does not suite there delicate fingers which are more adapted and more useful to handle newly born babies with care.
Again womens abilities in making decisions that are concerened with politics is not as good as men. There emotions would lead them far away from making the right decision at the right time.
A year ?!
What is the sin of the poor kid to be not naturally feeded stright away from the breast of his mother ?
You know that sceintifically the mothers milk composition change with the growth of the child. i.e. as the child grows up the glands change the percentage of minirals in the mothers milk to make it more useful for the child at that age.
You will say that she can take a holiday for 2 years ?
What about the production in the company or organization ? Wouldnt it be effected ? It means you will have to emply someone else and then after two years you will have an extra employee that would cost the company/organization an annual amount of money for no use ![B]
*Hmm again confused with ya over here, ya say women should breast feed their childern for two years and therefore cant be working at that time, and they cant take holiday for two whole years it will effect the organization/company..Then againg ya say the women plays big role in society bcuz who will check on women in hospitals n teach gurlz at skool..so if the women will do these tasks n get pregneant n they have 2 breast feed their childern what will they do?
I mean they have to breats feed them, but they too cant take a holiday cuz skool n hospital will have 2 pay for the extra employee or the rules change here????
Itsnt reasonable ok..oo b3deen il naas i6roo, women these days can take milk outta of their breats in certain methods n keep it bottles cooled n the baby-sitter can feed the child..
and a9ln in the child's 2nd year he starts eating food too, so he doesnt need to be breast feeded every minute or every hour..
There are solutions, so breast feeding isnt a 7oja ya use..
*Women can work in politics and they can do well at it..infact these days women can fullfill many jobs, a women in oman became an embassier (safeera) for god's sake what are ya still arguing tht she should juss work as a teacher n a doctor?
Who are you to decide what women are good at and what they are not good at..Every1 has different abilities and u dunno abt their abilities do dont be judging..



[B]I do understand love, maybe more than you do. But i never make my feelings drag me away for a long time.
Anyhow here is another misconception .. people think that marriage based on love is more succesful than other marriage. I personally believe that love naturally comes with respect between the two parties i.e. the man and the women.
Yet LOVE in the sake of Allah is the love that will continue for a longer time... and you can love more than one in the sake of Allah .. infact a 1st wife can love the 2nd wife in the sake of Allah as well. And what is better and higher than love in the sake of Allah ? Love that would result in the shading on judgment day when there is no shade but Allahs shade !

*LooL oky, so the wife can love the other wife..I get it
well can ya tell me why is it 7aram that the man marries a girl n her aunt, they way they teached as at skool, is because there weill be jealousy between them which will cause haterd bewteen family members n god doesnt want that
So jealousy does exit otherwise this 7okom wouldnt be there in 1st place, and a9ln no need to prove tht jealousy does exit its well known for any1 with a sane brain..
And you still didnt answer my point abt who iz gonna fullfill the 1st wife's sexual needs while the husband is with the othjer 3 wives, true he might give them sex in an equal amount, but still it will be less thn wut she wil get if she was the only wife..maybe she wants to have sex while he is sleepin with the other wife tht night..who will fullfill her needs?
I mean now the man has needs n the women doesnt! [B]

Orion
04-11-03, 10:54 PM
Originally posted by sanwin25
[B]No I do not have any Mormon friends.

And correct me if I am wrong, but Mormons are no longer to have more than 1 wife.

And I think it is also abominable if the Mormons marry more than one woman at a time.


Maybe you should take a visit to Salt Lake City ... open your eyes to the realities of life.

Any Wan-Sin ... speak of odd traditions ... I take it the Catholic church has sanctioned using protection during sex ... I mean ... come on ... you and your honey do the nasty all the time unprotected? Do you have a litter of children or really stressful sex life?

sanwin25
05-11-03, 05:47 AM
No I haven't been to Salt Lake City. Why, is there something that I should see out there ?


Any Wan-Sin ... speak of odd traditions ... I take it the Catholic church has sanctioned using protection during sex ... I mean ... come on ... you and your honey do the nasty all the time unprotected? Do you have a litter of children or really stressful sex life?

I tried, but could not see the relevance of this statement to the topic being discussed. What are you trying to say ? Are you saying we should try the withdrawal method as promoted by Mohammed when the man has sex with his slave girl ?

Please do enlighten us, what you were trying to say.

sanwin25
05-11-03, 06:46 AM
Let the figures speak for themselves.

Arming divorce rate ‘must be addressed urgently’

24-10-2003

By Somayya Jabarti

JEDDAH, Arab News — Given the enormous rise in the divorce rate in the (Saudi)Kingdom — the second-highest in the world — the head of Jeddah’s marriage court, Sheikh Saleh Ahmad Habad, has called for urgent steps to address the issue.

The court registers 40 marriages and 20 divorces a day.

Sheikh Saleh stressed the high price children pay when their parents divorce, including behavioral disorders, depression, addiction and low school performance.

Shaden Al-Rais, a divorcee and mother of three, told Arab News marriage did not mean happily ever after. “But divorce does not necessarily mean miserable for life for the ex-wife and children,” she added.

A study conducted by Dr. Ebtisam Halawani at King Abdul Aziz University revealed that the main reason most women left their spouses was ill-treatment and violence. Most divorces occur during the first three years of marriage, the study said.

Polygamy, according to Abdullah Al-Fawzan, a professor and sociologist at King Saud University in Riyadh, is responsible for up to 55 percent of divorces. He added that the loss of trust, sincerity, compassion and cooperation were also factors in the failure of marriages.

The involvement of husbands in illicit relationships is a factor according to 38 percent of divorcees. Since few couples can get to know each other before getting married, the incompatibility and misunderstanding that can arise as a result often lead to separation, Professor Fawzan added.

According to the Ministry of Planning, 70,000 marriages and 13, 000 divorces were recorded last year. In Riyadh, there were 3, 000 divorces out of 8,500 marriages that took place in 2002.

Makkah had the largest number of divorcees (396, 248), followed by Riyadh (327, 427), the Eastern Province (228, 093), and Asir (130, 812).

If the trend continues, there will be eight million single women in the Kingdom by the end of the decade, according to Dr. Ebtisam Halawani’s study.

http://www.muslimnews.co.uk/news/news.php?article=6038

-----------------

A few interesting points to note.

1. Obviously nobody told these men about how 'gently' to beat their wives.
2. Obviously being the 2nd/3rd/4th wife is not all it is cracked up to be.
3. Where did I read about all the wonderful features of Muslim family life ?
4. Where did I read about all the virtues of the Islamic family ?

sanwin25
06-11-03, 05:10 AM
What not one single comment ?

sanwin25
06-11-03, 05:12 AM
I was jus thinking, what goes through the minds of the other 3 wives on the night when the man is not with them.

Just try to imagine.

Think that you husband is having sex with another woman.

And you can't do squat about it.

Because, supposedly, God decided thats the way it was to be.

Enough to drive you crazy.

jack
06-11-03, 05:48 AM
I was jus thinking, what goes through the minds of the other 3 wives on the night when the man is not with them.

Think that you husband is having sex with another woman.Or they could be glad they are whipping the other wife instead of them....

Scottish Gal
06-11-03, 05:41 PM
Its a shame majority of the members here do not get Gwants point.....

its about making a better society, i would just be repeating what gwanto said.

Fair enough some people [not mentioning any names] think polygamy only for more sex, andi mean only.

They do not understand the main point of family values and creating a safe and just environment for the future generations and so that every child may be treated justly by having a mother and father, even if his/her biological father died or something.

again sanwin, the figures are like that because majoity of these people do not understand the value of marriage or have something wrong with their brain. God has sent the clear message in the Quran about unjust men towards their wives, and that it is a really big sin and wrongful action.

There are so many divorces because there is lack of love/kindness and patience.




:(

sanwin25
06-11-03, 06:16 PM
Precisely my point Ms. Gal.

Human nature being what it is, no amount of instructions from God is going to change it.

Again, at one point in Islamic history, marrying more than one woman made sense.

Not any longer.

sanwin25
06-11-03, 06:17 PM
Gal, would you accept being a 2nd/3rd/4th wife ?

Guwantanamist
06-11-03, 08:58 PM
Thanks Scottish Gal ... At least someone gets the point over here.

An example of a sick mind;

I was jus thinking, what goes through the minds of the other 3 wives on the night when the man is not with them.
Just try to imagine.

Think that you husband is having sex with another woman.

And you can't do squat about it.

Because, supposedly, God decided thats the way it was to be.

Enough to drive you crazy.


Excuse me sanwin, but unfortunately sex is not everything in life. A true muslim women would not think of such a sick thing, but instead will be busy taking care of her children, or maybe reading a book or she might be busy preparing for the next days work.,,etc
The value of family is not by how much sex occurs between the husband and wife, but rather by how much love and care that joins the couple, by how much concerned the parents are to bring up children who are responsible towards their religion, humanity and society.


But anyways having a second and third wife is not a game. Men are required to be as equal as possible in treating the wifes and their children. There are bad exampples around, but yet there are good examples as well.


Gal, would you accept being a 2nd/3rd/4th wife ?
The problem with women is not in being the 2nd or 3rd wife, but rather in being the first one and the 2nd is comming. So there is no point of asking such a question.
Instead i would ask women such as faithful,
Would you accept your husband having ellegal relationships behind your back or with your knowledge rather than getting married from another women ?

~*FaiThFuL*~
07-11-03, 01:19 AM
Originally posted by Guwantanamist
Instead i would ask women such as faithful,
Would you accept your husband having ellegal relationships behind your back or with your knowledge rather than getting married from another women ?

*Very glad and happy ya asked me this Q..
well see when ya ask this Q ya make it seem as if gettin married or havin illegal relationships are the same case or atleast as if the reasons behind r the same..
Ya say commitin adultery RATHER thn gettin married, as if gettin married will cancel out the adultery
But it cant be true BCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ
ya said tht getting married is abt building up a new family, creatin an enviorment for new generations, about helpin building up socitiy n helpin other women n all tht stuff
n adultery isnt abt all of tht, it juss abt the sex isnt it?
N ya juss said life isnt all abt sex..
So how can getting married help canceling out tht problem, unless getting married again is only abt havin sex?

sanwin25
07-11-03, 03:40 AM
Well said Faithful.

As usual you tied yourself up in knots Guana.

I never said you only need to think about sex.

But in the real world, when you are in bed at night and your husband is suppposed to be by your side, you will somehow have to think about what he is doing with another woman.

I wouldn't expect you to know since you are not a woman.

And not wife numbers 2 3 or 4.

Finally the question was addressed to Gal.

Unless you had a sex change operation recently, I do not expect an answer from you.

Scottish Gal
11-11-03, 07:36 PM
Originally posted by sanwin25
Gal, would you accept being a 2nd/3rd/4th wife ?

sorry i havent replied like in ages!

I wouldnt mind as long as the husband has a valid reason for wife number two three or four. [i can imagine members laughing or rolling eyes becuse they expected me to say this reply]

In the Quran Allah says:-
" To orphans restore their property when they reach their age, and do not substitute your worthless things for their good ones, and devour not their substance by mixing it up with your own. For this is indeed a great sin. If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four ; BUT IF YOU FEAR THAT YOU SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY WITH THEM, THEN MARRY ONLY ONE " (Quran 4:2-3).
From these verses, a number of facts are evident :

This permission is not only associated with mere satisfaction of passion, but it is rather associated with compassion toward widows and orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which these verses were revealed.
Even in such a situation, the permission is far more restricted than the practice that existed before or even now (unlimited number of wives and no restricted conditions).
Dealing justly with one's wives is an obligation in Islam. This applies to housing, food, kind treatment, etc., that is to say that the husband has complete obligation towards all of his wives and their children without any discrimination.
If one ONLY is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, Allah says to marry only one wife.

This practice is far better and honorable than the case where the husband is secretly having mistresses or involved with prostitutes (Adultery).
This practice is also better than the case where the husband divorces his ill wife and marry another one.

It is evident that the permission is consistent with the realistic Islamic view of the varying social needs, problems, and cultural variations throughout time and in all places.


peace

sanwin25
12-11-03, 05:41 AM
Ah, but what Ice Tea says is that it is the man's right to marry more than one. You say that there must be certain circumstances where he is allowed to marry more than one.

Which one is it.

sanwin25
12-11-03, 05:43 AM
This practice is far better and honorable than the case where the husband is secretly having mistresses or involved with prostitutes (Adultery).

But this comes about because of 'boredom', the you 'cant eat steak every day' syndrome.

How do you handle the situation when the man bores of the 4 women in his life ?

And did you read the article I posted ?

How do you explain those awful statistics ?

~*FaiThFuL*~
13-11-03, 12:40 AM
Sanwin dont be expectin a sensible answer
They keep on confusing us with the reasons behind the marriage, 1st they say it is to help the society and needy women create a better atmosphere n bla bla bla n even scottish girl said it is only allowed if there are valid reasons n if he helps a widow

and then after they finish saying this, they go: and this is better thn adultery and having illegal relationships..
ya mama ya baba into, is it so hard to get one point: ADULTERY ISNT THE SAME LIKE MARRYING ANOTHER WOMEN ACCORDING TO UR REASONS WHY A MAN SHOULD MARRY A 2ND WIFE!!!
read my earlier post which ya refused to reply on, I said if marriage is abt helping society and needy women, then it has nottin to do with helpin canceling out adultery and illegal relationships, bcuz he who has illegal relationship doesnt do it to help a widow or the society or somethin, he does it out of lust n boredom..!!
and most of the people these days marry 2nd wife outta of lust n boredoom their wives arent widows, they are girl who never got married b4..and who are young..and still people say: let him do it, it is his right which allah gave him!!

IceTea
13-11-03, 12:22 PM
Faithful keep on screaming for nothing, you can't change Allah rules to suit youself and you should respect the Quran and profet Hadith. And scotish girl can't explain the Quran as she wish.

And for sure you don't know more than Allah when it comes to what is good and what is bad for humans.

Guwantanamist
13-11-03, 04:34 PM
This practice is far better and honorable than the case where the husband is secretly having mistresses or involved with prostitutes (Adultery).
This practice is also better than the case where the husband divorces his ill wife and marry another one.


Faithful,
just read the previous sentence carefully ....

sanwin25
13-11-03, 04:40 PM
So Guanamatist, explain those awful statistics about marriage in Saudi Arabia ? You know the article I posted ? Seems to me that if marrying multiple women was the solution to all the problems you mentioned, then none of what is happening there should happen at all.

~*FaiThFuL*~
13-11-03, 06:54 PM
Originally posted by Guwantanamist
Faithful,
just read the previous sentence carefully ....

*I've read it carefully otherwise I wouldnt have replied on it..!

*And Ice Tea, I realize with close-minded people what am sayin wont make any difference, but am sure there are smart people who can see all of these stuff make NO SENSE..and yea am not tryin 2 change it 2 suit myself as I can see those rulse (allh's rulese) suit men like ya very well...

jack
13-11-03, 07:07 PM
IceTea
This practice is far better and honorable than the case where the husband is secretly having mistresses or involved with prostitutes (Adultery).

This practice is also better than the case where the husband divorces his ill wife and marry another one.

If the taking of a 2,3,4 wife would stop adultry then there may be some merit to taking additional wifes.

The simple fact is it doesn't stop adultry. It doesn't stop divorces....it's a failed obsolete practice for todays society.

If you want to live in a cave and act like cavemen, that's fine, but the rest of the world has moved out of the caves and into the "light" ;)

Scottish Gal
13-11-03, 07:22 PM
The only reason a man would commit adultery is if he aint getting sex from his wife.

that is why it is obligatory for husband and wife to understand eachother and respect each others needs.

And it makes more sense to me if the quranic verse is interpretated in the way that polygamy can only be taken on with valid society reasons - with all respect to orphands and widows.

the reason i put in the additional mistress business was really minor and to support my reasoning for polygamy abit more.

Marriage stops illegal adultery - marriage is highly encouraged (100%) to muslims and is als reffered to as completing half of ones faith when marrying.

Polygamy allows every woman and child to cared for, if they need or want support.

i have an aunt[widow] and she has 4 children, it is not obligatory for her to marry a man who has already been married to another person. she has chosen to devote her life to her kids and wants to support herself. its her choice. it is also not obligatroy for her to seek another partner, if she wishes to remain single mother then fine. its cool. if she wants to marry then its cool again. if she wants to marry then divorce that guy for some reason, again she can.

Basically there are many case scenarios ok. the guidelines and islamic laws are there - and Allah knows best.

jack
13-11-03, 07:30 PM
Scottish Gal
The only reason a man would commit adultery is if he aint getting sex from his wife.Again ... there would be no adultry if a women did there duty?

Placing the blame on to women for all adultry is total nonsense, but it is the Islamic way. The man shares no blame..... :rolleyes:

Scottish Gal
13-11-03, 07:42 PM
Sorry let me rephrase what i said,

there would be no illegal adultery if the couple respected and fulfilled each others needs. a woman can go out and have an affair with another man, equally as a man going to prostitutes r girlfriends etc.

If the wife refuses sex to the husband then it is her fault and she has committed sin on her part by driving her husband away to fulfil his sexual desires else where. the husband has committed his own sin by not having no patience not solving this marital problem otherwise.

If the man refuses sex to the wife. then it is his fault for her going to seek relatinshipds elsewhere, but the wife has also committed sin by not resolving her marital problem in a different manner.

when i say solving their problem, either they can get rid of eachother [divorce] and starting a new life with another partner OR compromise and understand ones partner and stating afresh.

blame is on both individuals.

For example, if i see a sister stealing an item, i would be getting part of the blame because i have not played my part by stopping her or doing somehting. it does not mean that the thief is sinless because nobody was there to stop or witness that act.

sigh - i am gonna open my fast now see u people later

jack
13-11-03, 07:44 PM
In all that he takes in all that he shows
The higher the stakes the lower the blows
And all the mistakes that he's never known
Whatever it takes he'll be stealing the show

Now he nervously shakes as we rattle his stage
But he's happy to be stuck back in his halcyon days
Now we're trying hard to reconcile a history of shame
But he reinforced the barriers that keep it the same

If you treat me like a dog
And keep me locked in a cage
I'm not relaxed or comfortable
I'm aggravation and shame
But it's a fine fine time for the people in the lucky land

If you treat me like a dog
And keep me locked in a cage
I'm not relaxed or comfortable
I'm aggravation and rage

MoonChild
13-11-03, 08:55 PM
Originally posted by Scottish Gal
The only reason a man would commit adultery is if he aint getting sex from his wife.


Please tell me no one is THAT naive :rolleyes:

Some studies have shown that 50% of men who commit adultery say they are happy with their marriage. :tiered:

sanwin25
14-11-03, 04:19 AM
How does that saying go, You can't eat steak every night ?

IceTea
14-11-03, 02:38 PM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~


*And Ice Tea, I realize with close-minded people what am sayin wont make any difference, but am sure there are smart people who can see all of these stuff make NO SENSE..and yea am not tryin 2 change it 2 suit myself as I can see those rulse (allh's rulese) suit men like ya very well...

Faithful, becasue what you are saying doesn't make any sense. And smart people who are you talking about won't stand against Allah rules and stand against the profet PBUH sunnah for the sake of satisfing some women fantacies.

And you should thank Allah for creating you and gave a you 10 fingers to type in this sabla instead of saying Allah rules are not fare and only for men.

Scottish Gal
14-11-03, 06:31 PM
Originally posted by MoonChild
Please tell me no one is THAT naive :rolleyes:

Some studies have shown that 50% of men who commit adultery say they are happy with their marriage. :tiered:

Men who should be nice and in the right mind, not men who are naughty.


How does that saying go, You can't eat steak every night ?

Sanwin if u came to love somebody, and u married her would u cheat on her? would you go else where to get a different relationship rather than keep the same with one true woman who would look after you and your children?

decent men would not.

IceTea
15-11-03, 11:44 AM
Originally posted by jack
IceTea

If the taking of a 2,3,4 wife would stop adultry then there may be some merit to taking additional wifes.

The simple fact is it doesn't stop adultry. It doesn't stop divorces....it's a failed obsolete practice for todays society.

If you want to live in a cave and act like cavemen, that's fine, but the rest of the world has moved out of the caves and into the "light" ;)

LOL :D I don't know why you quoted that and relate it to me and I didn't post it :rolleyes:

Anyway if you want me to answer you I can:
Marrying more than a wife won't stop adultry for the people who want to choose the wrong path and deviate from the right path. But for people who want to follow Allah rules and not to follow the Satan marrying with one or more should stop them from going to the wrong directions. So as you can see it depends on the person and humans given a free will and they will be judged according to their deeds. Thats the secret, yes now you have the money the health and the women around you and also you have a brain. So it's up to you how to mamange the things given to you to serve yourself in this life and in the hereafter in a good way or to destroy youself latter.

And I'm living in the light of Islam "alhamdullah", but it's time for you to look for a window in your darkness to see the light ;)

~*FaiThFuL*~
15-11-03, 10:34 PM
Originally posted by IceTea
Faithful, becasue what you are saying doesn't make any sense. And smart people who are you talking about won't stand against Allah rules and stand against the profet PBUH sunnah for the sake of satisfing some women fantacies.

And you should thank Allah for creating you and gave a you 10 fingers to type in this sabla instead of saying Allah rules are not fare and only for men.

*Fantasies? Oh I get it a women's fantasy is tht her husband shouldnt marry another wife but her, It must be her fantasy tht he doesnt look or love another women
walla denya somethin which should be one of her rights became on of her fantasies...A sad world we are living in..in which loyalty and true love dont exit..but no everywhere juss here

*la tjlis tqoolni kalm ana ma qolto..I never said GOD'S rules aren;t fair to women and are fair juss to men..I said these rules arent fair to women juss fair to men..I never said GOD'S rules..I know my creator can never be un-fair..If I belive he was unfair I'll throw myself outta of the window cuz at the moment I'll believe there is no use in living if he is unfair..
and yea I thank god for everythin he gave me, not juss my fingers..

IceTea
16-11-03, 12:10 AM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~
*Fantasies? Oh I get it a women's fantasy is tht her husband shouldnt marry another wife but her, It must be her fantasy tht he doesnt look or love another women
walla denya somethin which should be one of her rights became on of her fantasies...A sad world we are living in..in which loyalty and true love dont exit..but no everywhere juss here


A wise husband can satisfy more than one wife fantacies, so she would bother if her husband will give her all her rights ( oo ziyada ba3ad) ;)


Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~

*la tjlis tqoolni kalm ana ma qolto..I never said GOD'S rules aren;t fair to women and are fair juss to men..I said these rules arent fair to women juss fair to men..I never said GOD'S rules..I know my creator can never be un-fair..If I belive he was unfair I'll throw myself outta of the window cuz at the moment I'll believe there is no use in living if he is unfair..
and yea I thank god for everythin he gave me, not juss my fingers..

I don't see any difference when you say "these rules aren't fair to women just fair for men" and when you say "Allah rules aren't fair .." because at the end it's Allah rules stated in the Quran.

Correct me if I'm wrong?

And nice to know that you think your God for everything, then you should not complain about Allah rules ;)

~*FaiThFuL*~
16-11-03, 12:24 AM
Originally posted by IceTea


A wise husband can satisfy more than one wife fantacies, so she would bother if her husband will give her all her rights ( oo ziyada ba3ad) ;)

I don't see any difference when you say "these rules aren't fair to women just fair for men" and when you say "Allah rules aren't fair .." because at the end it's Allah rules stated in the Quran.

Correct me if I'm wrong?

And nice to know that you think your God for everything, then you should not complain about Allah rules ;) [/B]

*About the 1st point, oh yeah I can see how a husband with 4 wives can give a wife the same amount of sex like a husband with one wife, talk abt simple math calculations..., It is a point I mentioned in an earlier post but the person I was talkin 2 ignored it, I said what if the husband with the lovely four wives, he has a wife who wanna have sex with him but he is with his other 3 wives? What should she do...Ice tea it is very much logical okay a man with four wives cant give the wife same amount of sex like a man with one wife, after all theer are only 24 hours a day...What if her fantasy is to have sex 3 times a night, and the 2nd wife another 3 times a night and same for the other two? I know this sounds bizarre but u r the one who is focring me to say it!!

*About the 2nd point I think what I said is clear but ya are trying to ignore it ..well again I said these rules arent fair..My creator and GOD's rules are fair

Guwantanamist
16-11-03, 02:21 AM
well again I said these rules arent fair..My creator and GOD's rules are fair

Do you have another God other than Allah ?
I cant find an excuse for you over here ....This issue is in the Quran, you dont believe it then you are an unbeliever.
And stop your crap saying that (we are not arguiding) because i already told you my opinion, but you didnt bother to reply...



Well if you were thinking only then i would have simpily replied to you trying to explain. Rather than thinking and questioning to understand,, you already made a decision and you already juged that allah is not fare and that his laws are disgusting ! (asta'3firu allah).
Quoting you ---> "the funny part or rather the disgusting part ya allowing this mess 4 men but not 4 women"
or
"but men marrying 4 women is juss as crazy but since its been done and part of islam ya cant see tht it is crazy"

This only shows how much you dont trust allahs teachings. Do you know the hidden (el'3ayb)? Are you the creator of man kind ? Ofcourse not so why are you in dought about something Allah the creator of everything has outlined in Islam, the religion he accepted for us human beings ?
Anyways just as a reminder ...

ÝóÅöä ßõäÊó Ýöí Ôóßøò ãøöãøóÇ ÃóäÒóáúäóÇ Åöáóíúßó ÝóÇÓúÃóáö ÇáøóÐöíäó íóÞúÑóÄõæäó ÇáúßöÊóÇÈó ãöä ÞóÈúáößó áóÞóÏú ÌóÇÁßó ÇáúÍóÞøõ ãöä ÑøóÈøößó ÝóáÇó Êóßõæäóäøó ãöäó ÇáúãõãúÊóÑöíäó 94 æóáÇó Êóßõæäóäøó ãöäó ÇáøóÐöíäó ßóÐøóÈõæÇú ÈöÂíóÇÊö Çááøåö ÝóÊóßõæäó ãöäó ÇáúÎóÇÓöÑöíäó 95
But if you are in doubt as to what We have revealed to you, ask those who read the Book before you; certainly the truth has come to you from your Lord, therefore you should not be of the disputers.
And you should not be of those who reject the communications of Allah, (for) then you should be one of the losers.

jack
16-11-03, 02:34 AM
Guwantanamist
And stop your crap saying that (we are not arguiding) because i already told you my opinion, but you didnt bother to reply...If "~*FaiThFuL*~" keeps this up you may have to give her a little beating.

Wait a minute ..... not so quick, she would have to be your wife before it would be sanctioned to beat her per the Quran.

Maybe you can speak to one of her male relatives and they could just do an honor killing. :rolleyes:

~*FaiThFuL*~
16-11-03, 02:49 PM
Originally posted by Guwantanamist
Do you have another God other than Allah ?
I cant find an excuse for you over here ....This issue is in the Quran, you dont believe it then you are an unbeliever.
And stop your crap saying that (we are not arguiding) because i already told you my opinion, but you didnt bother to reply...

"Another god other thn allah" 3ad ma sentc. My dear one there is only one god which created us, and it doesnt matter what he is called, yes there might be many religions..but in the end there is one god, I belive in tht one god who created me..
LoooL my crap? my crap..look who is talkin abt crap!
ha! anyhow I didnt say you werent arguing, seems like ya too wanna put talk in my mouth which I didnt say!..and yea ya told me yr opinion and I replied..
and now that you think am an un-believer what are you gonna do kill me cuz ya think am a mortdaa? or kill me cuz I choosed to think? and dont be tellin me my thinkin is wrong ok..cuz the reply to tht will be too long...

Scottish Gal
18-11-03, 02:52 PM
och, the vast problem with the ummah,

they love this dunya too much and want to argue over clear and simple things.


move on people, open your eyes, learn about the world and try to make changes.

get involved, get active and be alert!

ok i better get ative i need tp get to a building in 5 mins for a 11 oclok lecture !

bye people

peace.

IceTea
18-11-03, 06:58 PM
Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~
*About the 1st point, oh yeah I can see how a husband with 4 wives can give a wife the same amount of sex like a husband with one wife, talk abt simple math calculations..., It is a point I mentioned in an earlier post but the person I was talkin 2 ignored it, I said what if the husband with the lovely four wives, he has a wife who wanna have sex with him but he is with his other 3 wives? What should she do...Ice tea it is very much logical okay a man with four wives cant give the wife same amount of sex like a man with one wife, after all theer are only 24 hours a day...What if her fantasy is to have sex 3 times a night, and the 2nd wife another 3 times a night and same for the other two? I know this sounds bizarre but u r the one who is focring me to say it!!


Faithful, first of all you should know the wife is not a sex machine to ask for X amounts of sex per day. Marraige is more than sexual relation it's about making a new family, raising kids, increase family ties in the society, etc. And yes the husband is responsiable in treating all his wives in fair including bed time. And you know that having 3 or 6 times per day sex is only in the early stages of marraige after that the wife will be busy with other things and also will not be ready for such acts due to pregnency, monthly periods, etc. And even if the wife asked for 3 times per day or more, the husband should be able to satisfy her needs and more if required. So that is not an excuse dear ;).


Originally posted by ~*FaiThFuL*~


*About the 2nd point I think what I said is clear but ya are trying to ignore it ..well again I said these rules arent fair..My creator and GOD's rules are fair

I'm not trying to ignore it but to open your eyes ;)

I will answer ya a simple question and expect a straight answer from ya:

You said these rules aren't fair, the question is who made this rules?