BLONDES!!!

[EMINEM]

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street and they pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again for no reason."

The blonde looks at her and says, "What's the big deal? Don't you like getting flowers?
"
The brunette says, "Oh sure...but I just don't feel like spending the next 3 days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?

[EMINEM]

, Mr Penis, am asking for a raise due to following reasons:

* I work with my body.
* I work in great depths.
* I dive, with my head first, into my work.
* I always work on weekends.
* I work in a wet environment.
* I'm not getting paid for overtime.
* My workplace is dark and has bad ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work puts me in great danger of catching diseases.


Dear Mr Penis, After careful consideration of your demands the board
has come to
the conclusion to deny the same due to following reasons:

* You don't work eight hours in a row.
* You fall asleep after a short period of working.
* You don't always follow the boss's restrictions and rules.
* You don't always work at your recommended workplace, but do often
appear in
other workplaces.
* You don't take initiative on your own, no you have to be put under
pressure
and be treated friendly before you start to work at all.
* Your workplace is pretty dirty when you leave it.
* You don't always follow the safety rules, e.g. the using of safety
cloths.
* You retire long before the age of 65.
* You never work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your workplace without having finished your work.
* And like if that wasn't enough: We constantly see you leave the
workplace
carrying two bags with suspicious looks...

[O.B]

the megistrate 'Ordered'

'chope it off'

ay! ay! holding empty quarter;

>>>dancing baby<<<<

[O.B]

quote:-

The brunette says, "Oh sure...but I just don't feel like spending the next 3 days on my back with my legs in the air."



tel no. 192837465 extension 987898767656454321


if need assistance call Dr. Bean (the latest)

[Edited by O.B on 05-22-2001 at 07:40 PM]

[O.B]

ok dokiy!!

take this one,

Secretary...........Sir, Please blowup yr nose.


Boss................ Ziiip up safe and sound.


after few minutes.


Boss.......Miss Secretary...what did you see in the garage
a red Rollsroyce,?



Secretary........No Sir,....it was an old volkswagon lying with>>>>>>>>>>>
TWO flat tyres.

[EMINEM]

My ***


This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. known as:

"Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).

Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS.

We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.

Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS.

Last week my secretary said to me, "I'm a little nervous, I never put anything in MYASS before." I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again, and was even ready to kiss MYASS.

There have been concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS.

This database will encompass all information associated with the business. As you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want in MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace for a supervisor to hand work to an employee and say, "here, stick this in MYASS."

[O.B]

http://www.gifartist.com/contest/mar_apr_current/bhoverdrive.gif



a medal of runaway 4u

[4-ever-young]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

*a ventriloquist is a person who can speak without moving his lips*

[4-ever-young]

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in economy.

The blonde replies, ''I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York.''

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy.

Again, the blonde replies, ''I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York.''

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.

She immediately gets up, says, ''Thank you so much.'' hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the economy section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.

He replies, ''I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York.''



[Edited by 4-ever-young on 06-01-2001 at 06:25 PM]