I read a an article in this magazine and thought of sharring the main point with u guys and hear what everyone else has to say!


Women Accept their Husbands Affairs and Refuse The second wife?!

well..i think having an affairs is better than the second wife i guess..although both of tem are wrong.

But, when she knows that he is having an affair on her, she must be angry and gelous ... this is right..but at the end she knows very well that she is the only wife and he will come to her at the end of the day, and no one will get involved on him.

But if he marry the second wife, he wont be for her, and he wont be available all the time..

so i think thats why they agree on this and accept it.

Some of them dont accept both situations.

True..

The woman does EVERYTHING for her husband, sacrificies all the time, and would just do ANYTHING for her husband.. So you see, that feeling of "I did everything, and this is what I get in return"!

It's just unfair when the woman does everything, and then the man goes and gets married to someone else.. IF the woman does not satisfy her husband then that'll be all right if he gets married to another woman..

The way I look at it, is how the woman plays her part. If she does everything right, and plays her part as a wife well she'll never have to go through such things UNLESS she has a hopeless and a useless husband..

Woman: you cannot have both! 1)Not taking care of your husband. 2)Not wanting him to get married. (Men need to be taken care of)
Men: they will never have both if his woman does it all! Plus, it's going to be selfish of you if you have both! Actually, a man whose wife does EVERYTHING for him, and then gets married has no heart!

Remember, men are always able to get married to 2, 3, and 4.. and you cannot stop them, because it's absolutly HALAL.. I may sound that I am being with that idea, but I am not. At the same time I can't be against it, because it's a rule that's set by Allah.. and if we say "NO" to that, we are actually disobeying Allah..
A woman should just play her role.. and I am sure she'll be perfect!

Good luck everyone.. hehe including me :p

Amoor I'll have to disagree with u there
having an affair is wrong cuz its forbiddin and is haram.
having a second wife is not a bad thing and is not haram and is halal is every way!!!

Originally posted by Homeless
Amoor I'll have to disagree with u there
having an affair is wrong cuz its forbiddin and is haram.
having a second wife is not a bad thing and is not haram and is halal is every way!!!

I coudn't agree more, we should add you to the list of Sabla Noble Women (SNW).

Those who accept are blinded either bY unconditional love oR simply they cant throw him out coz they are too dependable on him. Its a no gain situation for them even if they leave so hanging on and closing an eye is the best bet :)

women are confused creatures who don't know what they want from men. whether a man commit adultery or have a second wife, women will cry and cry and then accept him back.

Originally posted by Big MO
women are confused creatures who don't know what they want from men. whether a man commit adultery or have a second wife, women will cry and cry and then accept him back.



Are you kidding me Mr. MO ???.. cry and cry then accept him back? i'd rather die.. especially if he commits adultery.. i wouldn't want to see his face again..I think women deserve better than that.. those who accept the man back, have no sense of dignity.. no personality at all..

mmh I dont accept both, let him pray that he has an affair but I have no clue about it, otherwise ( he already know what will happen if I came to know:p )

safaa that's what all women say but look around you and you'll see what i said is true. just look around girl.

Wife and second woman in her husbands life funny issue a lot of people are making fun of it and how she becomes jealous and what tricks she uses to bring her husband back plus a lot of headaches, stomachaches and the worst leaving her children and go to her family’s house and then a lot of fights between the two families and it ends some time in the court. What is the result from all this? A tragic story the family breaks down the children have no home, no respectful father or maturing mother like others children. I think no man on earth makes loving mother to leave her children cuz of him but as we live in world full of foolish yeh its possiple :fire:

Women shoudn't be slefish and think about themselves only, they also shoudn't call for total equality with men and ingnore their nature as females.

Originally posted by amo0or
well..i think having an affairs is better than the second wife i guess..although both of tem are wrong.

But, when she knows that he is having an affair on her, she must be angry and gelous ... this is right..but at the end she knows very well that she is the only wife and he will come to her at the end of the day, and no one will get involved on him.

But if he marry the second wife, he wont be for her, and he wont be available all the time..



when amoor wrote better I know what he means. it is not something that he supports it or anything.. but I agree with him..

It is much better if he has an affair rather then a second wife. For the reasons that amoor gave up there.
If he is sinning then it is his sins...

having an affair will hurt but at least you will know that he is with you most of the time. and you can always get excuses to get him back home. while the other woman wont be able to do so. In such cases kids are always good weapons!!!!:sweat:

But if he gets married to her, then you will have to spilit everything with another woman.. from time to everything that that he does for you not matter what.

Originally posted by Big MO
women are confused creatures who don't know what they want from men. whether a man commit adultery or have a second wife, women will cry and cry and then accept him back.

Mo,

Strange creatures.. No

But you are right they will cry and in the end they will forgive and take him back. There could be many reasons behind it. Most of it could be because women think that there husbands will change so they keep on the Hope alive, or because of the children, once a woman has a child it becomes very difficult to leave him. Some women totally depend on their husbands in everything.

But the crying thing these days it is all changing to few chances! and without knowing it poeple are splitting :sorry:

Hellllllllll No.

I won't allow my husband to have an affair or marry another wife. If I ever caught him doing any of these two, I will divorce him. There are many fishes out there, I won't stay at home and let him enjoy with another girl or another wife.


Areej , you must be dreaming by saying "Remember, men are always able to get married to 2, 3, and 4.. and you cannot stop them, because it's absolutly HALAL.. "

Nooo way, it is not absolutely Halal. Who said it is absoulutely halal?!! There are many conditions to marry a second wife. None of the men I know, whom married more than one wife, is following the conditions. So in this case it is haram.

Originally posted by RareDiamond
Hellllllllll No.

I won't allow my husband to have an affair or marry another wife. If I ever caught him doing any of these two, I will divorce him. There are many fishes out there, I won't stay at home and let him enjoy with another girl or another wife.

.

Why not you will not lose anything at the end of the day. And how can you divorce him we are not in the west.

Originally posted by IceTea
Women shoudn't be slefish and think about themselves only, they also shoudn't call for total equality with men and ingnore their nature as females.

Icy,

If they will ignore the females nature, then they wont be females..

Originally posted by selma
Icy,

If they will ignore the females nature, then they wont be females..

They still be females physicaly, but the behaviour will change to be like men.

Originally posted by IceTea
They still be females physicaly, but the behaviour will change to be like men.

Icy,

LoooooooooooooooooL.........

Trust me you dont want that to be true!:sweat:

Originally posted by IceTea
Why not you will not lose anything at the end of the day. And how can you divorce him we are not in the west.

Whether it is west or north, if I decide to divorce my husband I will, He will either agree to my divorce or agree. He will have no option otherwise he will live in hell :fire:

Originally posted by selma
when amoor wrote better I know what he means. it is not something that he supports it or anything.. but I agree with him..

It is much better if he has an affair rather then a second wife. For the reasons that amoor gave up there.
If he is sinning then it is his sins...

having an affair will hurt but at least you will know that he is with you most of the time. and you can always get excuses to get him back home. while the other woman wont be able to do so. In such cases kids are always good weapons!!!!:sweat:

But if he gets married to her, then you will have to spilit everything with another woman.. from time to everything that that he does for you not matter what.

well..thats right..i didnt mean that i agree on that .. but what i meant is that its better and the situation is much much better than getting another wife.
thanx for the support :)

Originally posted by RareDiamond
Hellllllllll No.

I won't allow my husband to have an affair or marry another wife. If I ever caught him doing any of these two, I will divorce him. There are many fishes out there, I won't stay at home and let him enjoy with another girl or another wife.


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actions speak louder than words dear!!!
do u think dicorve is something simple?
u should make assumptions just like that

and yes it is Halal and ofcourse they have shuroo6 and certain things to follow.
How do we know that? its been said in the quraan ok!
When men dont follow what they need to do then its their fault o 3ala qaqabat'hum but marrying more than 1 is Halal

Originally posted by IceTea
I coudn't agree more, we should add you to the list of Sabla Noble Women (SNW).



Really? :color:

Originally posted by Homeless
actions speak louder than words dear!!!
do u think dicorve is something simple?
u should make assumptions just like that

and yes it is Halal and ofcourse they have shuroo6 and certain things to follow.
How do we know that? its been said in the quraan ok!
When men dont follow what they need to do then its their fault o 3ala qaqabat'hum but marrying more than 1 is Halal


Halal ONLY and only IFFFFFFFFFFF they will follow the rules otherwise they it will be haram to marry and not follow.

raediamond , thats true

Originally posted by RareDiamond
Whether it is west or north, if I decide to divorce my husband I will, He will either agree to my divorce or agree. He will have no option otherwise he will live in hell :fire:

I'm sure that in Islam the divorce is in the hand of the man and not the woman. So even if you said to him "I dovorce you" it's uselss and no effect of it.

Thats not the right way to deal with marraige relation, things don't work by force, the problems between the couples should be discussed between them firstly and if didn't work then the family of both sides should interfer as described in the Quran. Another thing if you choose that approach then your husband has the right to apply the Islamic procedures to treat a wild wife who don't obay her husband which include advising her, then isolate her at bed and hit her if needed and the divorce should be that last option if she didn't get to the right direction.

Originally posted by IceTea
I'm sure that in Islam the divorce is in the hand of the man and not the woman. So even if you said to him "I dovorce you" it's uselss and no effect of it.

Thats not the right way to deal with marraige relation, things don't work by force, the problems between the couples should be discussed between them firstly and if didn't work then the family of both sides should interfer as described in the Quran. Another thing if you choose that approach then your husband has the right to apply the Islamic procedures to treat a wild wife who don't obay her husband which include advising her, then isolate her at bed and hit her if needed and the divorce should be that last option if she didn't get to the right direction.

If I want to divorce him because of a big thing he did which intolerate, then i will make him divorce me whether he likes it or not, otherwise, i will leave the house and let him live alone.

talking about hitting the wife if needed, he wissssssssssssssh. I don't think any girl in this generation will allow her husband to hit her under any circumstance, at least I will NEVER allow him. Talking about isolate, her then hit her then divorce her, why should he do all this if he is the mistaken one?!! She should do this not him.

Originally posted by Homeless
Women Accept their Husbands Affairs and Refuse The second wife?!

Well these are women who don’t realize that it’s far immoral to accept an affair. The damages caused by an affair out weigh hassle and threat of a second wife.

Nooo icy i am not saying that i accept the idea of 2/3/4 wives :)

Originally posted by RareDiamond
Halal ONLY and only IFFFFFFFFFFF they will follow the rules otherwise they it will be haram to marry and not follow.

And what are the rules?

Originally posted by RareDiamond
If I want to divorce him because of a big thing he did which intolerate, then i will make him divorce me whether he likes it or not, otherwise, i will leave the house and let him live alone.


Leaving the house dosen't mean you are divorced woman, he is still your husband.

Originally posted by RareDiamond

talking about hitting the wife if needed, he wissssssssssssssh. I don't think any girl in this generation will allow her husband to hit her under any circumstance, at least I will NEVER allow him. Talking about isolate, her then hit her then divorce her, why should he do all this if he is the mistaken one?!! She should do this not him.

If a husband decided to hit his wife as one of the treatment methods he won't take her permission. The hitting is not for the sake of hit and it should be light not to affect her physicaly.

Big mo qouting what you said "women are confused creatures who don't know what they want from men. whether a man commit adultery or have a second wife, women will cry and cry and then accept him back."

I agree with you they dont know what they want, many women allow themselves to have the victim mentality.

Originally posted by Homeless
Women Accept their Husbands Affairs and Refuse The second wife?!

Women don't accept their husbands affairs, but they accept better this idea than for their husbands to get a second wife.

A mistress is often temporary with no string attached; however, a 2nd wife is permanent with feelings involved. Women don't want their man to have feelings for another woman and worst to settle with her...

XP,having un affair is like cheating.
i dont wanna judge here as im not married but isnt that stupid for a women to accept it?
And as Wardat Al Khaleej said , it does have many consiquences. Like what if the other lady got pregnant or has some sort of contagious disease?!

having an affair will not last long but getting married is !!
so thats why some women dont mind that!
if my husband would go n have an affair i would not leave him ... but instead i'll try to see what made him go for another women ... see u have decided to marry this man so stick with it! instead of makin problems when actually its ur real fault he went for another women ... try to fix it and make him love you more!
Most of the men cheating on their wives is because they dont get what they want or its not enough ... and when it comes to marrying another women then thats when u know that u really lost ur man! dont let it go to that extent!

Women Accept their Husbands Affairs and Refuse The second wife?!You don't have to accept either. It's your choice remember. If you do choose to accept it, then be ready to live with the consequences.

You are placed between two fire in a situation like this, but i think the lesser of the two evils is accepting the second wife rather than the damage that an affair can bring to a marriage, family and home!

AGAIN: ICy i am not totally accepting the 2.3.4 wife idea. I just this in this situation its better

Originally posted by Wardat_il'7leej


AGAIN: ICy i am not totally accepting the 2.3.4 wife idea. I just this in this situation its better

You will accept it one day, don't worry Wardah :)

Originally posted by Homeless
XP,having un affair is like cheating.
i dont wanna judge here as im not married but isnt that stupid for a women to accept it?

http://thumba.image.altavista.com/image/141762432

Homeless, "having an affair" is not like cheating, "having an affair" IS cheating.

Why some women accept this from their husband?

The reasons vary from one women to another:

1) Some are not at all aware that their husband is cheating, even if the entire world knows about it. They accept because they don't know about it...

2) Others have a doubt that their husband is cheating, but have no real proof in hand and therefore choose to close their eyes and not dig into it...

3) Others know that their husbands is cheating and thought they don't accept the betrayal, they accept to stay with him.

Again the reasons why they are staying can vary: it can be because they still love him;.. they are afraid to be alone;...they don't work and have no financial support;..or because they have children and do't want to break the family.

4) The last category are women who know that their husband is cheating and learn to accept the situation for the simple reason that they fill satisfy with what their husband give them.

As "Cheating" is a relationship problem, I feel this thread should be move to the Problems Sabla, where similar topics where previously discussed.

personally, i wouldnt accept a second wife or an affair in my marriage life ....... and if that happened when i get married ill end the marraige 3la 6ool!!!!! YES im Selfish ! like the man who does this to his wife without any good reason.... god made having more than 1 wife halal only for specific reasons that should be clear to men who are willing to get married !!!

Originally posted by IceTea
And what are the rules?

He should take care of them equally which I can't see any men who can do that. And there are many other rules which I don't know and not really interested to know because I won't allow my husband to marry another one under any circumstances.

Originally posted by Homeless
Women Accept their Husbands Affairs and Refuse The second wife?!


having an affair is better than having another wife, at least end of the day I will have one wife and less responsbility on one than having on two.

Tolerating one is much more better than having tolerating two.

Well whatever it is: I wouldn't go for an affair and wouldn't have another wife...

MY HONEY IS SO SWEET that I can't think of another affair or wife..

But again affair is better then having a second wife...

selma, tell us how can u divorce ur husband:D

Originally posted by RareDiamond
He should take care of them equally which I can't see any men who can do that.


I can do that.

Originally posted by RareDiamond

And there are many other rules which I don't know and not really interested to know because I won't allow my husband to marry another one under any circumstances.

No other rules required. See it's easy :)

First marry then lets convince you latter :D

Originally posted by Cute_BooQ
god made having more than 1 wife halal only for specific reasons that should be clear to men who are willing to get married !!!

No specific reasons required it's open.

Originally posted by purity
selma, tell us how can u divorce ur husband:D

She is still not married, so how can she divorce him :gap:

Originally posted by IceTea
Why not you will not lose anything at the end of the day. And how can you divorce him we are not in the west.

Ever heard of marriage contracts, Icey? ;) All women should make their men sign - just in case.

Originally posted by Areej
.. IF the woman does not satisfy her husband then that'll be all right if he gets married to another woman..


satisfy him in what way? sexually? if she was infertile? :rolleyes: last time I checked, you should stick together through thick and thin; not just go and find some replacement.

Originally posted by Phoenix
Ever heard of marriage contracts, Icey? ;) All women should make their men sign - just in case.

A marraige contract doesn't mean she can divorce her husband.

Originally posted by IceTea
Thats not the right way to deal with marraige relation, things don't work by force, the problems between the couples should be discussed between them firstly and if didn't work then the family of both sides should interfer as described in the Quran.



Funny how the man can simply divorce the woman for the simplest an stupidest reasons, but when the woman wants to divorce him about something serious, she can't! :fire:

hit her if needed and the divorce should be that last option if she didn't get to the right direction.

hit her?!
hahahahaha. No sane woman of this century would let her husband hit her.
:duh:

Originally posted by Phoenix
Funny how the man can simply divorce the woman for the simplest an stupidest reasons, but when the woman wants to divorce him about something serious, she can't! :fire:


Refer to the 2nd point of my signature.

Originally posted by Phoenix

hit her?!
hahahahaha. No sane woman of this century would let her husband hit her.
:duh:

It's a tool and it should be valid in all times. And sometimes give a good result.

Originally posted by IceTea
A marraige contract doesn't mean she can divorce her husband.


She can have specific terms, like if he marries a second wife then she has the right to divprce him. I know that for a fact; people do it here.

In both cases I'd leave him. But I'd like it to be the affair instead of the second wife.. cuz at least I'll relax with the idea of him going straight to hell because he cheated. So he'll be losing me, and going to hell... Yeehaa!! :D

Originally posted by Phoenix
She can have specific terms, like if he marries a second wife then she has the right to divprce him. I know that for a fact; people do it here.

Maybe crazy men do such things :D

Originally posted by IceTea
Maybe crazy men do such things :D

then the guy who marries me is sure going to be a nutcase:rolleyes:

Originally posted by Phoenix
then the guy who marries me is sure going to be a nutcase:rolleyes:

Then don't blame him if he divorce you the first night :D

Originally posted by Cerulean
In both cases I'd leave him. But I'd like it to be the affair instead of the second wife.. cuz at least I'll relax with the idea of him going straight to hell because he cheated. So he'll be losing me, and going to hell... Yeehaa!! :D

And you would like with your sin? Not a great option if you think about it, but hey your choice :)

P olygamy was allowed in the context of helping widows and orphans of war casualties in the days of the Prophet, a time which was rife with tribal and civil wars. It is argued that identifying polygamy with Islam is a misperception.

alla a3lam

Originally posted by Wardat_il'7leej
P olygamy was allowed in the context of helping widows and orphans of war casualties in the days of the Prophet, a time which was rife with tribal and civil wars. It is argued that identifying polygamy with Islam is a misperception.

alla a3lam

as much as i dont agree with polgamy i have to say it's very clear in Islam. there are many suras and hadeeths about it. nothing to do with the reasons you mentioned up there. to me it's sexually driven.

Originally posted by Cute_BooQ
personally, i wouldnt accept a second wife or an affair in my marriage life .......

Cuty_BooQ, many women talk like you when they are not yet in a marriage and they are not involved into any commitment. However, surprisingly they react differently once they face such a situation like their husband cheating. You have to be in it to know how you are going to react.