Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmattullahi wa barkatuhu.

Most of us come from happy families and have cherished the friendship of good people right from our childhood. Nevertheless, have you ever wondered what makes us so different from the scores of other people who do not enjoy the same? Was it simply LUCK? In addition, if it was, then how long do you think your LUCK is going to last?



We all have known perfectly happy families and perfectly happy friendships that collapsed overnight. Does this worry you? It sure does worry me and the rest of this letter shares some of the thoughts I have had about it.



Let us analyse some of the relations we enjoy.



FRIENDS! I truly feel LUCKY for having a great set of friends but on second thought - are these the first set of friends that I have had? What about the friends from my childhood, from my school days, college, etc? How many of them do you still keep in touch with and the most important question - WHY?



If I think about it, sincerely, I realise that I have had a lot many friends in school and say, in my colony but it is only a few that I keep in touch with today. If we analyse the set of friends that you and I still keep in touch with, most of them are -

1. Doing well in life

2. Good fun to talk to

3. Are in close proximity [are easy to get in touch with]



Most of the other people we knew as kids, we have lost touch with. Of course, if we see them again we are sure to behave well with them and try to help them in whatever LITTLE way we can but how far would we go to help them if they no longer satisfied the above criteria, i.e., they were no longer doing well in life and for no fault of theirs' somehow everything that they did seemed to be pushing them towards the dumps; if they weren't fun to talk to anymore and if it had become a LITTLE difficult to keep in touch; it’s anybody's guess.



In other words, this is how far we usually stretch these relations; this is the TENSILE STRENGHT of our friendship. See how easily it can break! And mind you, it will be the same 10 years from now with the friends that you enjoy today. Think again, is this kind of a friendship worth anything? Still, it is the TRUTH.



FAMILY! This seems to be a much stronger relationship and most of us believe that it is unbreakable and we all consider ourselves very LUCKY for having been born in such families. LUCKY is the keyword. All the love, your family members have towards YOU is because you were BORN IN THAT FAMILY -- a mere CO-INCIDENT! Your mother loves you the way she does simply because you were born to her.



Consider a hypothetical situation, suppose you were born to the woman next door - would your present mother even look at you the same way? Isn't this the logical conclusion you would reach? Moreover, if all your family relations are based on an ACCIDENT then it is very easy to realise how easily they can all break.



Of course, your mother loves you a lot and you love her a lot but if it's foundation is as I have stated above then the day you realise how conditional it is and how selfish it is in nature, you will not hesitate breaking it for your own selfish desires - and why wouldn't you? Why can't you be selfish too? It seems perfectly justified - doesn't it?



And this is what is happening around us! The deterioration of relations - people ready to cut each others throat for minor gains, brothers fighting each other for wealth, mothers killing their little ones simply because they find them an inconvenience. That's how cheap human relations have become! You might be free from the things I just mentioned but if you believe in the logic I mentioned before, then the disease is already in you. It is only a matter of time!



Nevertheless, how did all this happen? The answer lies in the very roots of humankind - their very purpose in life! If we all believe, as most of us do, that we are an EVOLUTIONARY ACCIDENT then we do not have any purpose at all. We are mere ACCIDENTS in history and all our relations are sheer CO-INCIDENTS! Therefore, they are as gullible to accidents as is a blind man trying to cross a busy street.



Before we try to find a solution, I believe it is essential to analyse another relation - our relation with GOD!



GOD! Most of us believe in God and believe in His INFINITE love for us. This sure makes it an unbreakable relationship, but on careful examination it also makes it WORTHLESS!



For how does it make a difference to anybody if God loves both Pharaoh and Moses the same? This is very simple to understand and is essential to any relationship. For example, if your wife loved you as much as she loved your friend - then how on earth would that relationship matter to you? How on earth would anything productive be made out of such a relationship?



God's love is unique. It does not depend on your monetary status, your wits, your social status, your contacts, or the family that you are born in. He loves you the same whether you are born to a beggar or to the King.



Nevertheless, it is BREAKABLE! You break it by your deeds. God tries to guide you all your life, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful, but if you do not turn to Him before death faces you, then you have broken off your relation with Him. The point to be noted here is that while all other relationships can break for no fault of yours', this relationship's integrity depends entirely on your shoulders. It can break, but only because of YOU!

If we believe in such a God - that is a JUST and at the same time a LOVING GOD, then Man has a purpose on Earth - THE PURPOSE TO ESTABLISH JUSTICE AND LOVE ON EARTH.



All relations now begin to make sense - we are all here to earn God's pleasure by establishing love and justice on earth and it is for this purpose that I will make friends and it is for this purpose that I will make a family - based on love and justice. This will be my team and this will be its purpose. In other words, my love for others is no longer co-incidental or subject to selfish interests or subject to any expectations. My love for my friends and family is so that I can bring all of them under this NOBLE PURPOSE.



My mother loves and takes care of me because God has blessed her with an opportunity to bring up a child in such a way so that he can be of service to God.



I will marry so that I can, together with my wife, cherish a family that will work to establish love and justice on earth. I will love my friends not because they satisfy a few conditions but because their well-being and their healthy relation with God is the very purpose of my life.



This is the only way I can achieve my Lord's love and that is why I will do it. In other words, the fear of losing out on the only relationship that matters - the relationship with God - is the only way a man is going to value all the other relationships he has. So friends! Fear God as He should be feared.



"O mankind! Fear your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single person, created out of it his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women;- fear Allah, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (be heedful) to the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you."

The Holy Quran, Chapter 4: Verse 1.

Allaahafiz!

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatoh

It's a very nice analysis of relations Afu and a nicer conclusion and as Muslims most of us think that our relation with every one and every thing should be based on our relation to ALLah.However when it comes to the real world it doesn't seem to be the way it goes .

I mean why we are thrilled with our dunia relations, you miss your mother if you are away for sometime ,you eager to meet your sister after sometime of absence and you feel very happy and comfertable to sit and talk to your freind, these things always provoke some emotions in you, however there are only few occations when you are thrilled by your relation to Allah though it is supposed to be the base and so the strongest relation of all.

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmattullahi wa barkatuhu.

My dear sister, I understand what you mean. I am also a victim of the same problem.

Alhamdulillah, Allaah has blessed us with love in our hearts for our kith and kin and we miss them immensely when they are not with us. But when it comes to Allaah, we do not. Because we think Allaah is always there with us. True, yet so deceptive! Sister, if we sit and contemplate about all the sins we do everyday, you would realise how we distance ourselves from Allaah on a daily basis. Our eyes would fill with tears and our hearts would begin to tremble at the very thought. We would immediately stand in salaat and beg Allaah for our forgiveness. Our limbs would forsake our beds and tahajjud would become better than sleep. Every moment of our lives would be lead in fear and hope, fearing Allaah's wrath and at the same time ever hopeful of His forgiveness.

Sister, we were neither created as angels nor as satans. We are human beings and do you know what is the difference between a human being and a mumin? His ability to repent - Tauba!!!! Allaah announced to the angels that he would create a khalifa on earth. and yet after creating Adam AS He kept him in Heaven. Ever thought why? Because though He had taught him the names of things He had yet one very important lesson to teach - that of TAUBA. It's only after that, that Allaah sent Adam AS to Earth to fulfill the purpose for which he was created, to represent Allaah's law on Earth.

A believer's faith fluctuates between highs and lows. It is natural! That's how we were created. But there are ways in which we can reduce these to a minimum level - by adopting 'khushu', the feeling of an active communication between Allaah and us, in salaat; by increasing our knowledge by reading good books; by seeking the company of the muttaqeen; by pondering over the Qura'an; by taking active part in Islaamic activities and a whole lot of other things. The Qura'an is full of these.



"For, Believers are those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a tremor in their hearts, and when they hear His signs rehearsed, find their faith strengthened, and put (all) their trust in their Lord;
Who establish regular prayers and spend (freely) out of the gifts We have given them for sustenance.
Such in truth are the believers: they have grades of dignity with their Lord, and forgiveness, and generous sustenance."
The Glorious Qura'an 8:2-4

"Others (there are who) have acknowledged their wrong-doings: they have mixed an act that was good with another that was evil. Perhaps Allah will turn unto them (in Mercy): for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
The Glorious Qura'an 9:102
Allaahafiz.