I don't understand this, the concept of mahar in Islam. I mean look at the parents nowdays asking for how much?

Tonight Thursday 18 Sep 2003 is my friend's marriage, so I called him and he tells me all this story of his. So just as a personal question I asked him man how much did you give the girl's parents? He goes that they asked him for RO 20,000/- . Ya Allahhh, are these parents asking for Mahar or selling their daughter?

If I were those poor guys I will run away with the girl I love - (if she really love me the way I love her) - if her parents ask me for such big mahar....:D :D :D

Alhamdulillah, my fiancee's parents asked me nothing, they just want her to be happy with her future husband (she's not Omani).

What do you think of this?

Do you think because of this high mahar or better say PRICE for those girl people will start getting married from foreigners?
There are so many who did it anyway.

Do you think it is right to ask for that much for your daughters?

Interesting topic!! I was going to open such a thread in Religion Sabla asking if it was acceptable .. but here I go read your thread.
Anyway,, I've been wondering about the same thing, and I think this is very ridiculous.. Money doesn't bring happines.
His prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) said: "qaleel il mahar, katheer il baraka" meaning: the less, the better.

That doesn't only happen in Oman, it happens in most of the Arab countries, espically the gulf. And, I have asked about this... I got the same answer from almost everyone.. Parents think that this big amount of money is like a guarantee that he'll be able to keep their daughter in the best condition. Others say it's a tradition, and people from high class should get paid more..

In my opinion, I think the girl's family should not ask for the amount.. The man should just give them whatever he can...
Money doesn't bring love or happiness..

Thats So ture!
I myself find this issue strange?

Like what Areej said: the less dawry the more blessings.
I thought people are getting much more educated by time but this really a good sign of how close minded some can be.

I wish this habit ends. And this will start when we US who know its useless start it.
We should begin to educate our parents as well ourself. if we happen to be the one to give our daughters.

I really appreciate your answers. I hope that the new generation at least will try to understand that no need for such big demands.

I have seen some people who asked for a house, a car and money as well, but of course the dude was from a D>A>M>N rich family (masha allah, touch wood).

Im really happy that my parents didn't ask for anything from my brother in law, but if they asked he was able to give, but they didn't ask, and they looked forward into my elder sister's happiness as she got married to someone she loved truly.

Thanks girls...:color: :wink:

The concept of mahar is probably abused by many families. The point is to give a bride a gift to buy everything she needs for her special day, but unfortunatly many families would ask for money for themselves.

Personally I don't agree on taking a lot of money, a reasonable amount is understandable, and if the two agree on everything, then the family shouldn't really stand up and say no!

I've said this in another thread once, that a girl I know asked for the Holy Qura'an as her mahar, and I've never seen this girl any happier. It's a blessing!

Originally posted by the_killer

What do you think of this?


Depends how educated she is and how beautiful/healthy she is ... hell if people are going to ask money for their daughters ... we might as well treat the better breed ones as pedigree.

Kinda like horses ... :wink:

Originally posted by the_killer
Ya Allahhh, are these parents asking for Mahar or selling their daughter?


Thank you very much! I've always found this "Maher" subject rather annoying.. Honestly,I'm totally against it...
No Maher is needed!! awain.. Money in exchange for the daughter..Thats how families put it, with their never ending demands!

I'm marrying someone who has nothing to do with this!
Someone unfamilliar with this tradition! non-Arab that is..
Not Indian though... Or I'll be the one paying! lol

:p

so all i want to say that poor guys should not think about getting married or loving some one .... every year the price of girls is increasing ...




... im tired :tiered:
... hey poor depressed guys can you hear me ....................

i hope so.......:sorry:

but this thread is cool keep it up The_Killer

I would never accept money for mahar. Never......:duh:

And I really don't get what those families want with all that money. Strange....

Interestingly enough , Al Dhahra is well known of high mahr in the Sultanate ! dunn know why ! any one got a clue ?!


What do you think of this?

it's bull$$it !Asking for numbers like 20 RO or even less is something wierd done by some parents and it means nothing but that they are selling their daughter just like other items for sale ! what they should do , is just wait and accept whatever the proposal give .

Do you think because of this high mahar or better say PRICE for those girl people will start getting married from foreigners?

i think it's something we should get worried about ! it's one of the main reason people turned to non-omanies girls !

Do you think it is right to ask for that much for your daughters?

Nope , it's very wrong !

It's the girl's right to ask for mahar.. and it makes a perfect sense to me...Because she is gonna need all that money to get ready for the wedding..
But.. she should ask for something reasonable.. I mean it depends on the guy's situation.. and im repeating SHE is the one who asks not the parents.. it's totally up to her how much she wants.. or if she doesn't want, that's up to her too..
Some fathers take most of the mahar for themselves.. that's so wrong..
Or they ask for alot of things.. they would ask for gifts, gold, clothes and above of all that MONEY.. and they want cash too.. that's funny..

Thank god my father is a very nice person and i kown how he delt with this issue before..

salam

Here's something to humor you on this subject..
This is a joke Ive heard back there:

Man asked father for his daughter's hand in marriage..
So father said:" But her Maher is 20.000 JD's" (Jordanian Dinars)
Man was astonished!! He said : "20.000 JD's!! This is too much!
There is this other girl I found.. Her father wants only 5000 JD's for Maher, and she's even pregnant!"

:eek: hehe... I thought it was funny!


:p

you mean if he takes the second offer he gets the child for free.... that is very good marketing of product. hehehehe....

wallahi Blind Melon, you made me laugh till my eyes were filled and couldn't take it anymore, because when I read that I just remembered something like this happened in real life in India, but I appreciate the man that he is brave and idealistic dude. Anyway I wouldn't talk about it, and I don't think so it's a good idea.

Now Blind Melon, dear who told you that all Indians ask for money from the girl?

That is not completely correct or absolutely correct. I think we all know how big is India? what is their population? what is the culture? and also now you all should know that India has 845 languages spoken(Indian and languages,Herald Sun, Sunday 13/09/03).

Well the language and population is not the matter here, let me go through the real topic which our friend Blind Melon said :Not Indian though... Or I'll be the one paying! lol...

You know blind those people who are taking the dowry from the girl's families are also giving them from the other side. I mean look in non-muslim Indian marriages they fix all the dowry thingy first and then only they start anything else, there are marriages where the groom's family left the marriage function because they didn't get the payment as they were promissed. For example a friend of mine who is slave to his father's words and cannot show a little masculinity, his father didn't get the money so when they left the bride's house the guy also had to go with his family. If I were him I would get marry the girl and will say the heck with you people to my family because I wouldn't put the girl's life into hell after being with her and living with her before marriage in the same house.... hello... you already destroyed her life and you're going away just like that? That is really bad isn't it? I think I'm going out of the topic again.

In muslim marriages however, they get married, the groom gives mahar to the bride, then later the dowry is given to the groom as a car or visa to gulf, or if the girl's family is very rich then they will give him acres of lands, farms, cars, houses, and also business. I've got so many Indian friends in Scotland, oh god their marriages are so fun, and I like to be there to see some cool and beautiful Indian chicks.... had 3 Indian girlfriends before in Scotland. hehehehehe:D :D

It's not always giving Blind Melon, it's just if the boy is a dude from a lower family than the girl, yes he will ask for so many things, but if it is the opposite the guy is rich and the girl is poor or from a lower class family, they wouldn't ask anything, and this applies for guys from good families who are not that caring about money and stuff.

In Malaysia this dowry thing is very funny. In certain areas like for example JB State (Johor Baharu) what they do is : they bring a big weigh balance thingy, and they put the bride on a side and their dowry is like rice, food, perfumes, gold and all that kind of things, and now when the weighing balance thingy is ready they put the dowry on the other side and each thing the grooms family is intending to give should be heavier than his bride. Well that is funny, but at least they don't ask for big amount of money and stuff. They ask things as per the man's situations and his family class of money. Their marriages are really beautiful!!! I wish if anyone of my classmates were getting married by now.

My Engagement itself was actually funny, funny in the sense very funny, hehhehe, but it's a long story, if UmHammed is coming here she will say Amir or The Killer, boy don't write so much like this because old people like me can't read all this... hehehe and she will crack jokes on me... huh UmHammed? Hopefully she read till down here to get this message.

Amir Al-Balushi™

Originally posted by Areej

His prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) said: "qaleel il mahar, katheer il baraka" meaning: the less, the better.


that is true, when the perents of the girl ask for a high amount of mahar, and the guy doesnt have that amount, and he really loves her, he'll either take a loan from some1, and live a part of his life paying back that money. OR break the girls heart and doesnt marry her

Do they take VISA cards or Master card?

Whatever happened to giving the father a few camels for his daughter?

Ah.........the good old days...

PS..I wanna hear from some of the ladies here who are married .......How much? But is that wierd to say?

Cheers
fatak

checks ;)