Guys and girls, how open you were to your fiance for the ones who got married and for the ones whom are not married yet, how open will you be to your future fiance. I mean will you be able to talk about "ANYTHING" to him/her or you think it is better to discuss after marrige???

well, I didnt really have a 'fience" perioed. Coz the soon he proposed tha soon we decided a "malka" day. However, I consider the "Malka" day as an engagment perioed. I was almost open with him with everything I guess. we were friends before and that made it easier for us to talk. Now I cant hide anything even if I intended to hide it.

Well, I can’t say that I’ll talk to her about every thing. To be honest, there must be things that I would prefer to keep secrets and share with no one but myself

i love R&B and football.
she hates R&B and football.

yah we talk about everything!!!!!!!!!

u have to be honest if u want a solid relation and marrige.

I am very reserved.. and I know I won't be able to talk about anything, not only before marriage.. even the first days after marriage..
I am between shyness and quiet .. and also very secretive .. I am not a difficult person to deal with, but I guess my husband should have loads of patience the first few days .. that's if he's open, wild, chatter box and crazy :p

yes i can there is nothing we cant discuss and we share everything about each other..this is one of the things that i love about our realtionship

Yes, its a good thing if u can open up to the one your planning to marry .... especially if he/she is understanding

From day one we decided that we both should be open, it’s very easy for me to talk to my husband he is so accepting and open minded, he is my best friend too. Even if I made a mistake I can easily confront him and let him know because I know he would understand and try to find a solution.

To be able to speak about anything to your partner is the key to a healthy relationship

Originally posted by 4-ever-young
yes i can there is nothing we cant discuss and we share everything about each other..this is one of the things that i love about our realtionship

of course you would say that. he reads all your posts!

you really think that!! well its cause you dont know me!! ;)

If I even get married I think I'll be open and talk about everything wth my husband. I might discuss it with him curtain things before we get married but not everything. Anyways who knows, when I'll get married I'll tell you how things will go :blush:

Originally posted by Big MO
of course you would say that. he reads all your posts!

That was such a funny comment, anyway, I believe that you should tell your fiance everything, because if you discover something wrong or something that you don't really like, then it is better taken care of before it is too late.

Originally posted by Big MO
of course you would say that. he reads all your posts!

LikeWise! :duh:

for all of you out there what my wife said is true and it's rare these days to have such relationships, we talk about anything and everything believe it or not i don't care LOL :D

Don't hate the Players :kewl:

Originally posted by 4-ever-young
you really think that!! well its cause you dont know me!! ;)

hey 4-ever chill girl i was just messing with you. i know you 2 are madly in love.

Not really

ummm, I think most of u missunderstood "RareDiamond". I believe what she meant was, have u (if you're already married), talked to your fiance about everything, i.e anything related to marriage, maybe like the first night. In other words, were u too open to talk to them about anything and everything? Or u consider that too early, and you should just discuss it after u get married? ................Please correct me if I'm wrong RareDiamond.

Originally posted by Big MO
hey 4-ever chill girl i was just messing with you. i know you 2 are madly in love.

i knew you were MO but i needed to answer you thats all

Originally posted by SunRise
ummm, I think most of u missunderstood "RareDiamond". I believe what she meant was, have u (if you're already married), talked to your fiance about everything, i.e anything related to marriage, maybe like the first night. In other words, were u too open to talk to them about anything and everything? Or u consider that too early, and you should just discuss it after u get married? ................Please correct me if I'm wrong RareDiamond.

EXACTLLY SunRise. this is what I meant. Were you able to talk like about the first night and these sort of things or you were shy and left it until after marrige and after you guys got really used to eachother. This is also for the ones not married, for the ones engaged or single you can participate, will you be able to!?

Well - we were very open to each other ... there were no limits for as at al. We were able to talk about different subjects whether sensitive or too personal, it did not make a difference to us.

And now that we are married - nothing has really changed at all - we are still open to one another probably more than before ... although i know that i was open with him before marriage but yet feel i am even more open to him now. Same thing with him.. don’t see why should they be obstacles anyway!

Originally posted by Neena
Well - we were very open to each other ... there were no limits for as at al. We were able to talk about different subjects whether sensitive or too personal, it did not make a difference to us.

And now that we are married - nothing has really changed at all - we are still open to one another probably more than before ... although i know that i was open with him before marriage but yet feel i am even more open to him now. Same thing with him.. don’t see why should they be obstacles anyway!

Neena, if you don't mind me asking. For how long you have known eachother before marrige?!!

Originally posted by RareDiamond
Neena, if you don't mind me asking. For how long you have known eachother before marrige?!!

long enough :)

Originally posted by Neena
long enough :)

Well if you know the person long enough then you will have the time to get used to him/her and talk about anything. But still, there are people who know eachother for years before marrige but still are shy to talk about everything.

Originally posted by RareDiamond
Well if you know the person long enough then you will have the time to get used to him/her and talk about anything. But still, there are people who know eachother for years before marrige but still are shy to talk about everything.

Well ia m not everyone i am just Neena :D

Well i agree with you.. it depends on the personality as well... plus how much are you comfertable to each other..!

Plus knowing each other for YEARS and yet not able to talk to each other freely .. than for sure they are not suitable for each other AT ALL!:)

I'm a person who believes One should marry someone s/he really knows.. So.. I should know my future husband well before we tie the knot.. hehe.. I feel funny when i talk about future husbands and marriage! hehe :blush:

Anyway... Because I know him very well.. It wont be very hard to discuss any sensitive or personal subjects..If thats what you mean.. He'd be my other half... We should be able to talk about absolutely everything and keep an open mind about it all... :sweat:

Do we really have to talk? I think of alot of better things to do with our time ...

well for a strong, lasting marriage, there shouldnt be any secrets from each other, and even if there was, they both have to trust each other

Originally posted by Pretender
Do we really have to talk? I think of alot of better things to do with our time ...

I bet you do! :wink:

I am very open with my fiance, we talk about anything and everything. Never felt uncomfortable talking to him about such sensitive issues and neither was he.
I think its better to be open with each other before marriage so the 2 wont be that scared or worried about the first night and their sexual life in general. You might even discuss with each others some issues or maybe articles you've read about that, that might be helpful.

I can be very difficult when choosing someone. So when I want to get married, it has to be someone whom I can tell everything to! That's the whole point, to have someone you can talk to about absolutely anything!
But when it comes to sensetive issues, I guess I'd be a bit shy at the beginning, cause that's not something you discuss everyday!
With time, you get to the level where you can talk about all the details!

well.. i guess i tell her 99% of the stuff that goes on in my head.. and in my life. if there would be anything that i would hide..it would be for her sake.. not mine. :)

but anyways.. she is the one person inthis world whom i can talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Originally posted by BliNd_MelOn
I bet you do! :wink:

And I do ... do ... :wink:

The more you spend time together , the more you know each other , the more you trust him/her , the more you TELL :D

Originally posted by Capricorna
The more you spend time together , the more you know each other , the more you trust him/her , the more you TELL :D

I totally agree with you .. and I think that's how every married couple should be like..

Originally posted by NaBHaN
if there would be anything that i would hide..it would be for her sake.. not mine. :)


That's what i meant when i said that there must be some thing that i would hide.

Originally posted by SadLad
That's what i meant when i said that there must be some thing that i would hide.


Nooooooooo guys you are getting me wrong. What i meant, would you talk to her/him everything about the first night before getting married?? or you think it is better not to be discussed!!

What I think that there are some people if you talk to them about the first night (espcially guys), the guys would think that this girl is bad that she was able to talk about these stuff freely with him and they are not even married....!! know what i mean.

Originally posted by SadLad
That's what i meant when i said that there must be some thing that i would hide.

Bull.

It's not right that you make that decision, he/she has the right to know everything. I don't get that crap about "for his sake"......if you really cared about the person you'd be totally open and honest. No lies, no hides.

RD, in reply to your question........I think it would make the couple feel closer if they did talk about it and when the time came they'd know more about what they were doing ;)

Originally posted by RareDiamond
What i meant, would you talk to her/him everything about the first night before getting married?? or you think it is better not to be discussed!!

Disscus about the first night before getting married!!!!! :eyes: Do u mean about how we'd spend it and what styles would we use :eyes: :eek: Well i think that i would never discuss such matters with her until we get married.

SadLad.......according to our stereotype gender facts......we should switch replies to RD's question. :duh:

Originally posted by SadLad
Disscus about the first night before getting married!!!!! :eyes: Do u mean about how we'd spend it and what styles would we use :eyes: :eek: Well i think that i would never discuss such matters with her until we get married.

Not thaaaaaat detail. I don't mean discuss about how to do it as what will be step number one and two..etc.

I mean talk about it. Anyone here can explain how to talk about it means!! Not only the first night, but anything else concerning these matters.

Originally posted by RareDiamond
I mean talk about it. Anyone here can explain how to talk about it means!! Not only the first night, but anything else concerning these matters.


You mean talk about it in a general (scientific?) way?

Like saying "Oh I heard that women rarely have an....."

You don't have to talk about what you're going to DO, just what you know and how you feel about certain things.

Originally posted by Enigma
You mean talk about it in a general (scientific?) way?

Like saying "Oh I heard that women rarely have an....."

You don't have to talk about what you're going to DO, just what you know and how you feel about certain things.

exactllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....thanks for explaining:D

Can you talk to him/her about "Anything"?
Guys and girls, how open you were to your fiance for the ones who got married and for the ones whom are not married yet, how open will you be to your future fiance. I mean will you be able to talk about "ANYTHING" to him/her or you think it is better to discuss after marrige???

RareDimond

Before even I got engaged I told my girl everything, everything in the sense EVERYTHING I DID BEFORE I MET HER AND EVEN AFTER I MET HER AS WELL AS THE GOOD AND BAD.

Buddy I think you should open up your mind and tell your would-be what all you did before and after you met her. I confesed everything to my girl and I said I did so many things, and promised not to do them again and I am not doing anything of those anymore. I WAS A WELL KNOWN PLAY BOY IN THE UNIVERSITY:blush: :blush: , that most of the guys turned onto me and said they don't like me. I don't complaint but I had to tell my girl everything before the engagement itself.

If you don't tell them from the beginning I think later you will start having so much of trouble if he/she comes to know everything about you. He/she will ask you for sure why you didn't tell me all this from the beginning? This will create some kind of disease and which we all should fear it's called DOUBTS/SUSPICIONS which ones if it got into a (husband/wife)'s mind it will remain there for rest of his/her life. This will create so many social problems as well. Like my uncle's life is in hell now because of what all he did before the marriage and his wife came to know about all this now after they had 2 kids, which I can't really understand why the hell is she thinking he would do it again although it was in the past before he got married? Well if there are any sisters out there who could tell me is it important that you keep on being suspecious about your hubby just because what he did in his previous days? I would appreciate if someone answers me that.

However, taking this into account and many other cases, I came to a point where I had to decide that I will tell my girl everything about me before I become leagaly her fiancee and later husband instead of bringing hell to our life and make her decide what is she upto? But Alahmadulillah everything was ok with her and she said she wouldn't suspect me anymore because I've been honest to her. Well I asked her too about her previous life and she told me about that.

In conclusion I would like to say "every human being does good things and bad things in his life, but a person who later can be honest and tell all this to his/her loved ones is the one who is really going to be a winner at the end when they get together or else you lose the trust. So be truthful and be brave enough to be honest as it takes only minutes to break a relationship and ages to build them and make them strong"

Thanks for the question RareDimond

Amir Al-Balushi™
:) :wink:

Well if there are any sisters out there who could tell me is it important that you keep on being suspecious about your hubby just because what he did in his previous days?

Most of us can't help it.......

You know how the saying goes:

Once a player/beater always a player/beater.

Well Enigma I am not like that, although once upon a time I was a big time PLAYER...:color: :color:

Well I want you to know that saying is only applicable on some people as the fingers on your hands aren't the same just have a look at themm...:D:D:D

Sowi

Thanks and your answer is b e a utiful like Jim says in Bruce Almighty, appreciated.


Amir Al-Balushi™