sex education

[patriot]

a ssalamu alaicom w.w
this world is full of diseases and siknesses
and the most dangerous so far is a sexual diseas
(AIDS),

my question is do you think it is good to introduce
such a subject thats is concerned about sex..
so that we bring up a new generation with right ideas
about it, instead of knowing it wrongly from the streets?

[SoMe1]

This is a very important subject which i guess is good to be discussed!! you see its Ok to teach children this things.. But the question is how to teach them.. You should make them understand in an Islamic manner!! not just to tell them because its in the book and they have to know it because it’ll be there in the exams..

This does affect children’s minds!! we should be really careful in the way we explain such things to them..

This is a very serious matter which i think everyone should give there opinion and contribute in it.. i will post soon inshallah but i need the time..

[BomBola]

when you don't see the mistakes done by others.. you will hardley do it..
mistakes are not created by people.. things happen & there are things causing them.. then the mistake comes.. so when the main rout is taken out of this world.. there will be no such problems occuring.. hope you understand what I'm trying to say..

for example.. al kheyana al zawjeya.. if people don't know that there is something called kheyana.. it will be very far off their mind to even think of it.. & therefore.. we can show our children how bad are those diseases but not making them learn the facts that could affect their believes..

got what I mean?!!!

[SoMe1]

I'm not sure of what your trying to say!! can you be a bit clearer!! or if you have another example?? please! coz im getting a bit :confused: if you know what i mean

[Thug4Life]

Very good topic...I agree totaly with what some1 said..
again we have to be carefull not to folow the western example...we can educate but in an islamic way.

[SoMe1]

Well.. a child at a time or another will come to know about it.. weither from school, family, friends .. etc.. so the point is who is suppose to tell them and how to make then understand.. i think the best thing it to be explained by an audult.. who can make them understand that this is part of life .. And we have to make sure they get it in a good way!! and were suppose to teach them in an islamic way.. i suppose by the age of 13 or 14 as max they should know since in anyways they are concedered as Bal'3een so you have to start teaching them all these stuff..

[numismatic]

Yes,
I think that the educational process must always consider the age of the child. We don't like children to get confused or start coming up with premature questions which may negatively affect their mentals.
We studied about the periodic cycle and Janabah and how one gets pured of it in Islam, in the 8th grade when we were 14 years old and the class environment was like any other class since we were mature enoght to realize things well. This is about things related to Islam, so how about sexuality!! I think we need to be more concervative with children.
To conclude, I think if we are in a position to tell a child about this issue, it would be the responsbility of the parents to get their child aware about that.

[BomBola]

Some1 ... you know what.. when I went back to what I wrote.. I got confused.. so I even don't know what did I try to say.. LoOlz :P

ummm.. the problem here is that children are always treated like kids.. that's why they don't get matuered fast.. parents always try to hide these issues from them cause they always believe that it is 3eb.. for example, when we use to ask.. why can't children get babies.. they just laugh at us & ignore.. so they build a big doubt in our mind..& some times it turns to stupidity.. cause once I remember one of my friends.. she was at the age of 13 .. & she didn't know more than the periodic cycle.. she thought that it was the nigest secret a girl could ever know!!!!!
I just felt like she was duuuhhh.. & I don't blame her..cause her parents or eldor sisters should have tought her a bit of other things !!!!
children should learn this in an educational way.. not like it's a shame..

anyhow. hope this time (some1) I'm more clear.. :)

KeEp SmiLing :)

[numismatic]

To What extent should parents discuss this, I don't think that they should tell a child how do we come to existance. There are too many ways that we can hide this, at 14 or 15 they can get to know it.
Until I was more than 13, I thoght that after wedding kids would start coming themselves... I was not smart enogh to realize things well but also I never felt abnormality. The way we were brought up was not bad, but exotic things to our socity mix everything upside down!

[BomBola]

life is changing .. young people see things that they should not in the outer world.. that's why we should change with that.. we should change some of the basics that we were brought-up with..
when you know the fact.. you will never get shocked on what you see.. when you understand early what's going on..you will be able to protect your self from harms.. when you learn things early.. you will be able to avoid the negatives of it..
that's why.. for the new generation.. we should be really careful on how to deal with them.. we should make them understand things before they learn it them selves from what they see.. because not all of them can realize the goods & bads of everything unless you teach them..
we should not ever give them the chance to learn from outside while you (as the inner) can make them learn the right things easily..

[SoMe1]

A child will know sooner or later.. like for me i didn’t know where do babies come from.. but at the same time i didn’t ask!! i just thought as numismatic thought that they come after marriage and i thought that they come out of the belly button!! dumb la!! but i was a kid!! However i realized that when i was around 12 or 13 .. and guess what ba3ad.. My cousin thought me all about it and she was at the age of 15 .. but lucky the girl has always had a grown ups mind.. So she told me in a kewl way!! not to be shocked.. My parents didn’t tell me anything about it .. which im my case would thinks is not right.. way is it 3eeb.. would you like your children to know in a different and wrong why!! its not that didn’t know that i knew about it .. but even though they were suppose to explain things to me.. even if i got to know in a wrong why they should talk to me and make sure that got it write

You know some people would make mistakes in their life.. ive heard of lots of girl/boy at the age between 13-17 who came to know about.. and though well what the heck why not try it ba3ad!! look at the way they took it.. it all came from the way they were told .. and who told them..

[patriot]

offcourse by age of 14,15 he/she would know
how did he/sh came to this life, we don't know
how will they get that,
well in my opinion i think everyone should teach
his/her kids before that age, offcourse not whne they are
seven, all parents know when are their kids ready
to hera such stuff.
it is not only the way of our existance that should
be taught in sex education, some advices should be
given some differents between the two sex should be explained, janabah, the period...etc, and how to do taharah.

the thing is when you say sex, kids take it as it
is something shame and we shouldn't discuss it or
talk about it at all, no parents this is part of our lives
you should teach your kids the way you see it right
instead of them hearing and learning it the way you dont
like, and then don't say what have i done (or you say ya lait)...

all the best

[patriot]

Good points some1..
i agree with you

[numismatic]

Loo**Tii Some1 Patriot
Well,
I think that the way a child will start learning about the coming to existance and other sexual matters is revolving about the way that child was brought up, his environment, companionship, education..etc I don't think that every child will go to try it to know it, once they get the first hint, a child can ask his parents, ask his good/bad friend, refer to a book... For my case, I refered to Islamic Fiqh books and to the chapters relevent to the matter and I got it clear from there.
So, I think an overall base, is to bring a child up in a clean, pure and educative environment, after that, such a thing will not be more than a normal casual matter and it cannot spoil the child.


Yes Loo*Tii, I agree that life is changing but I think, all we need is to bring a child up following
((AL-HADY AL-Nabawi)), the prophet scheme and I still belive in the rightness of the way we brought up.

[SoMe1]

I would say that your 100% right! and let me point up one thing .. well i said that girl/boy might try it im not making it as a general way.. it depends on who told you at the end.. and how did they make it sound!! Hope more memeber would post here.. since this is an important thing to be discussed!

[numismatic]

belive me eventhogh, a child learns it from a bad source, the way he/she was brought up will dominate the was he will investigate the truth and I gurantee you that the majority of us got it first from a bad source like foolish students in the school,

[Arabian Princess]

I found very good discussions overhere and I will want to comment on it but I will be quite frank but there is no 7aya2 fil deen wala al 3ilm ..
lets picture this story .. a girl who is 10 years old .. she is living in a compund area .. the neghibouring boy is a very bad boy .. but he is neighbours so she knows him .. one day he asks her to come woth him somewhere .. she is naive .. goes with him .. and he starts doing bad touching and stuff to her .. I will assume there will be two reactions ..
1- she have been given islamic sex education at school and when she realizes that he doing something wrong and she will run away and scream or do somthing
2- she doesnt know what is he doing and she thinks he is only playing with her .. and continue going to him everynow and then without cautions

I beleive that sex education should be taught in schools maybe in the islamic class .. as a chgapter or somthing .. make it sound serious and with quran suras and stuff like that in order to make student respect the teacher and understand the value in it ..
Looti .. u say that kids will start knowing about it and maybe start implementing it .. but kids know about it anyway .. they will learn from students or read these thousendss books that are in bookshops or from firends and it might be the wrong book .. so in order to make it clear to them .. teach them in school and it will be in the right way !

[patriot]

yes numismatic i totally agree with you
it is a normal casual matter, and we need
to bring up our kids the islamic way, but
not every kid will be as good as you and will
go on reading such knowledgable boks, especially
if they are kids, (please dont get me wrong here )\
and thats waht we are worried about , cos as ou said
most of us got it from a bad foolish students
so how did they become like this, one of the reasons
because they were not well educatde orthe are not aware
about it.
my question is is it right rto introduce such a subject
in schools, so that even shy persons will getthe answer
they dont need to ask their parents, but the parents should
make sure whether their kids got right or not...

thank you all

[Jadgaliya]

be careful everyone!! u cant just go ahead and tell a child about sex.. i think the quraan does its job in explaining that its not a thing one should do.. but am not sure about explaining it to them.. telling them the effects of it is a good idea, but telling them what goes on isnt quite a good idea.. the title of this topic says SEX EDUCATION.. and what i understand from it is that we should teach our children about it.. ?!?!?!? i dont think that will be very helpful.. as u know.. kids want to find out more about things, and they know that their parents wont be telling them the whole story.. just like when a kid asks his mother where does a baby come from.. she would say from my stomach.. but she wouldnt explain it further, and the kid would go to his/her friends and ask what their parents said and so on.. and all of them will have different kinds of stories, and the only way to find out the truth is to look it up in books and so on.. and of course these books will go one or two steps further into explaining what really happens.. i dont know if u got what i am trying to say, but as a conclusion.. i have to say.. do not teach children about sex.. it will just make them want to know more.. and we never know what ways they will use to find that out.. and the internet will come into this.. and as we all know.. there r many websites with porn movies and illegal things.. we shouldnt let them think of seeing a demonstration.. so what do u guys think?!?!?

[numismatic]

Yes,
I agree with Jadalya,
Yakhi lestin,
There is something I worry about, is the atmosphere in which a child is being tough about sex. If I got it from my teacher during a childhood, i might go and discuss it with friends as we used to do with any other subject and imagine how that would be excited for them! But when I learn it from my father, the atmospher will impose me to respect the idea and take it seriously. I just remeber how the class of TAHARAH was exciting for all of the students in my 8th garde that we started asking the teacher about too many things till he stopped us! How about a child.
There is an Islamic Sex education we need to be aware about and implement it as well.
I am sure that you have heard about(ALTAFREEQ FI ALMATHAJI3)), that brothers and sisters should get separated from one another once they are old enogh to feel sexual need and understand it.

[SoMe1]

Salam All..
Well I think that if you should teach your children you should do it step by step.. first you should start at the age of around 8-10 teaching them about how would they grow up. (period, i7tilam) and then start after that explaining that more and more.. it is suppose to take time.. at least by the age of 17-19 the boy/girl should know almost everything.. its not suppose to happen all at the same time.. they are suppose to learn gradually. .. it might take time ( around 2-4 years ) I don’t think less then that.. its going to be like a shock to them.. and when ever you teach them one thing you have to make sure that they have took it in the right way and not have misunderstood you in any ways.. So its going to be easier for them to accept the next step.
I suppose that they shouldn’t learn at school, because teachers don’t even wanna teach it.. like they think that they should teach them because its part of the book.. Hence they don’t explain things right! And it gets a child into more of bewilderment!

[patriot]

Some1,
i totally agree with you that it has to be taught gradually, and it even should start after the age of 10 or around that
but if there is a course offered at school then it will be discussed and checked by professionals who would know more baout this than parents, since this is their field
and we can't say that teacehrs won't teach it faithfully, there might be exceptions but not all...
and even if there is a book about this then this will make the parents easier, they will know what to teach at diferent ages
of his/hers ( i mean the children here)
i am not saying we offer the course for kids og 6,7 years old
but by discussingthis with proffesionlas they will tell us whatis the right age to teach such a thing...
all the best