Home maids!...sha'3alaat!..

[Thug4Life]

well here we r..the new generation..some (if not most) lived this life as some call (the home maids years)
el sha'3alaat...what do u think about them?...are they usefull?..cant a married women get rid of them and do the house work by themselves..?..is it difficult with this new era of this life?..what sort of negative and positive things U feel about having home maids?..
is it becomming sort of a fashion..each house contain 2 or 3 home maids...drivers....cleaners...cookers...etc?
is it an irreversible phenomina?
what are their effects on our children?
Do u have any stories related to this topic supporting ur negative or positive views about them?
P.s. here we go...am back to posting topics!
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P.s2.Fix the server will ya!..ADMIN..:D wack up..helooooo! knock knock knock!

[Sharqawi]

Only few hours i was thinking of posting the same issue, it is crises in our socity.

The way i do understand men should provide his wife a house made, just to help his wife cleaning amd loundry and , and not cooking but help and to assist the house wife to cook the family food. As teaching from Our beloved profet that the way he did with his wife to provide them with some lady to assist his wifes.

Now the crises in not with this poor house - maid it is us who brought them all the way from they orign to servr us, how they serve us that is the question? is it sence to us, that she is making the food, and she is cleaning the house and loundry, worse of all she is looking for the next generation which some already are graduated from house maid univarsity with strange habbits and language.

Yes even to non working wife ( house wife become sleeping wife) we become so depening on those house maid, in fact even house wife under pents ( nickers) are cleaned by house maid, what is next? i think to replace wife with house maid ? did it happen, yes two cases i know already.

It is mistake of the husbend to loose the control over his wife and house, and to become with common understanding of what is the limit of huse maid. and then i blame our sisters which house wifes, i say wake up you are loosing the batle ground, your kids and lasy husbend could be out of your reach one day.

Finaly i think we miss use them, it is not house maid fault, so many hidden effect of those are around i can see that of the Gulf Countries, but we are on the way to follow the trap of depending on them to much.

So many research been done in the UAE and others regarding the crisies, but no body is listning.



[Edited by AL-Falahi on 05-01-2001 at 02:14 AM]

[nzwani]

Unfortunately, “education opinion” is not as popular that why my similar topic there lacked recognition...

Here is the link :

http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=1455

[Sharqawi]

thug4life and nizwani,

i feel sad such a good topic as this could not have good respond and reply, i wish i could get more reply to know where are we hadding with this crisis.

[Thug4Life]

well what can I say!..the thing now is out of my hands

[BomBola]

I liked the topic.. & once I wrote a story about one of them.. unfortunatley.. I got disconnected before posting it & couldn't connect back.. so I was disapointed & left it out.. & now I don't remember what I wrote..
but the only thing I remenber is that they all stink badley.. & I don't stand sha'3alat ... :)

[4-ever-young]

The problem is that the wives have let them take care of the most percious things they have thier CHILDREN!!

You find that the kids want the maid more than thier OWN mother but i dont blame the maids for that i blame the mothers!! as they dont look after thier own flesh and blood!!

I mean it is understandable that the should help with house work etc but not to gain the childerns love adn affection!!

[Thug4Life]

some how peeple till now dont care about this issue though its very Big....Some even bring up more of these home maides!....
protect ur children guys!...at least choose the correct ones!

[MissBasma]

I think that its good to have a maid in the house to help the wife take care of the house, ie. cleaning, taking care of the laundry, etc.
We should treat her well but not as a member of our family. She should also take care of the children, but thats more the job of the parents! We dont want our children to learn indian or phillipino manners and their languages.

Its nice to have all that personal in the house if you can afford it but the more you have of them, the more headaches you get.

[Thug4Life]

still children might get affected in many ways : language..behaviour..different culture...actions..and some times religion!

[MissBasma]

Yes i know a case like that. Its very bad, its a family in UAE. They had a mait from India and their children spoke fluent indian and showed really bizarre interests about the other culture and religion. I dont know what happened to them now, coz its a while ago.

[Seham]

Well, if the couple can efford it ... then why not ... it is mentioned by Sunnah that a husband should bring someone to help his wife ... so his wife can "spoil him" .... because if the wife gets busy with the cleaning and cooking and smelling "rotten" ... I am sure that will have a disastrous effect on the family union ... we will find the husband .... flirting outside!!!!

However, the wife should be in control that the children are not influenced by the house worker!

You might say that in the West this "house worker" issue is not common, well I would say that is because of the following reasons:
1. They are not very close to their relatives so they don't have people come in and out of the house frequently whom have to be served.
2. The husband is usually very supportive and helps his wife in many things. (which I am sure here in the arab world "mostly" doesn't exist).
3. Most of the meals they eat are frozen microwave cooked whereas in our culture no way the husband or visitors would eat frozen microwavable food!!
4. They have 1 or 2 children .... we have 5-15 children .... may be the new the generation not as much!
5. They have nurseries and part-time baby-sitters whereas we don't have this type of service.
5. I think a house worker is a neccessity if the husband wants a working wife or he wants a house-wife with dozens of children.

So I hope you see why we need them. However, I do agree they are being abused and many wives don't have the slightest idea about their kids but this is rare in the educated group of females.

[samy]

well done .. that is what i was going to say ..
bee realistic guys ... everything can have both sides bad & good)
so it the family who can AND should have the control ..

[Najah]

I do support what Seham said above and samy.
Well housemades have their bad and good parts, honestly we have a helper at home and she've been with us for about 11 years.and she became a part of the family.
but eventhough Careless is such a bad thing.u have to balance and watch! As i have a story that happened in my aunt house before 2.5month. here it goes..

My aunt cousin caught their house made with a bowl full of her pee and she used to add it in morning tea for as a "treatment???!!" this is what she said! awena she wants them to love her thats why she did that..... and the sad part of the story which somehow prooved how that pee thinggy worked is that they've decided to take her back and on that day they took er SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!

Another story happened long time ago.when a house made used to save meat till it rot and the warms apears then she takes that worms and tight the boy and put it in his noes so it goes till his brain.. the boy was so naughty and talented..and all of his entelengsy and naughtyness used to decrease..when they went to the hospital they found that half of his brain is eaten by worms :weep: :weep:

But still i know when u hear housemades stories u will swear not to get one..... but it depends and most of these days u nee someone who help u, exactl just like what seham said!

Between i couldnt open the link in arabic sabla!!

[MissBasma]

Seham I agree with most of what you say, but I dont agree with the fact that people in the West, lets base ourselves on Europe, eat frozen food all the time. I am sure that Americans eat more frozen food! Dont forget that many European people eat a lot in restaurants, much more than we do here in the Gulf. Usually the men eat outside the home for lunchtime and the whole family eats dinner together.

[Seham]

Well MissBasma, what I am trying to reflect is that .... there is no pressure on eating at home the way we have ....whether they eat frozen food or they go to restaurants.

[Thug4Life]

2 days back I was listening to part of the conversation in Omans FM...a programme called (sara7a) or (honesty)....They talked about house maids issue...from the partial view i got...there is not much reported cases of house maids Mis treatment i guess!...Or am wrong!....?
Now this will take us to another angle of this issue...
Positives and negatives to me are important...BUt dont forget the human rights part of it ;)

as usual Oman english Fm keeps supprizing me with such wonderful programmes....To the front Guys!

[Thug4Life]

we r starting to see cases of our kidds that dont know how to speak correct arabic!! though their father and mother speak it well!!.... I personaly encounterd this before i left Oman!... How bad!

[Libellula]

I think if the wife's a housewife then there's no need for her to have a housemaid unless she can't do all the work all by herself (too many kids, big house, etc.)

However, nowadays so many women work and there's no time to run the household. I don't mind the idea of someone cooking and cleaning, but I guess raising your kids.. doesn't seem like a good idea.

There's really no solution to this though. If you work, you're not there for your kids.. and so you leave them with the maids.
You can't work and take care of your kids at the same time unless you work from home..


I don't know.. this is really complicating

[X-press]

http://thumb-1a.image.altavista.com/image/13923548

1) (the home maids years)...what do u think about them?...are they usefull?

I know even in the times of my parents, they used to have housemaids, the difference maybe is that there was a clear distinction between housemaid and housewife. Nowadays, many ladies throw all the work on their maids and do very little themselves.

If you can afford it, of course having a housemaid is useful especially if, as Phoenix said, the wife is working. It is not easy to clean, cook, look after the children, work and still look good at the same time.

We should make use of housemaids help, not abuse them. They are humain like us and should not be turn into slaves, like I often see this happening here in Oman.

2) ..cant a married women get rid of them and do the house work by themselves..?..is it difficult with this new era of this life?

Yes, if a girl is married and not working, it is possible for her to do all the housework. But if she can afford help and wants to use her time in other activities, then why not having a housemaid to help with the cooking, the cleaning and the laundry.

If a girl is married, doesn't work but has children, there is nothing wrong to want someone to help as it can be quite hectic to be a monther only. What matters is not to let the maid do everything and take over our role. We should set some limits.


P.s. here we go...am back to posting topics!

You made my day with this thread Thugy!...Do you see how much replies it got so far, so keep posting great topics like this one :color:

[Sleyum]

I think the House Maid's Are big spoiler and bad influence in the families...

In Many family you will find children are so close to Maids than their own Mothers

They pick up foreigners culture than their own because mothers are not there to help their Kids..

They become post office to their Madame by covering up bad beaviour when the Boss is not around..

Some they spoil too the daughters of their Bosses again by becoming under cover..

Some House maid turn's up being The Bosses Mistress..

Do we ned them?? I gues we dont.. we can survive without them as we did in the past.. Arabs Are becoming double lazy.. needs someone to do everything for them... if they were any chance to be washed by maids surely madame and husband would go for that.. what a shame...

[IceTea]

Originally posted by X-press



You made my day with this thread Thugy!...Do you see how much replies it got so far, so keep posting great topics like this one :color:

Exy, incase you didn't notice that this an old thread posted last year and Thugy just reactivated it as his usual habit :)

About the kids don't speak arabic, well I wil blame the parents not the maid, they are responsible for raising them until they become adults.

[Thug4Life]

do we need house maids??? (I mean foreign ones!)

well in the past we didnt! but do we now? and the more important question...can we now live without them???

is it the responsibility of just women or as well men in such an aspect!

I think its a shared responsibility and only togather this what i can call (a problem) can be solved!


P.s. would this be different if we had housemaids from our culture or atleast similar to our culture?????????????


P.s.2: Thanx x press :) that was encouriging!

[X-press]

Originally posted by Thug4Life
do we need house maids??? (I mean foreign ones!)

In the cases I explained in my first post above, yes sometimes a housemaid is really useful especially if the lady of the house is a working mother.

If the house is small and there is no childre, maybe someone can do without housemaid, but I can't imagine having a six bedrooms house and a job and not having help around if I can afford it. Why not?

Do we need foreign housemaids? Sure we do as unfortunately no Omani will want to do the job well, without constant excuses. Plus it is not yet "socially acceptable" for a local to be a housemaid, which I think is silly as a work is a work and if we can't support our family we should be ready to do anything to feed them.


Originally posted by Thug4Life
..well in the past we didnt! but do we now? and the more important question...can we now live without them?

In the past, we didn't need them as much as the women where not as educated and didn't work outside the house like they do nowadays. In the past, it was unconceivable for a woman not to look after her house, cook and clean as it was the only duty given to her.

Time has changed and women have other goals beside looking after her house, though it is still something very important for them too. They study, they work, and go for further degrees and don't always have the time to give 100% of themselves to the house. They could maybe live without housemaids, but having them would definitely be helful.

ps: Thanks Icy for pointing at the thread's date, but at the end what matters is the discussion which I think goes well ;)

[NaBHaN]

both my mother and father work and we have always been left in the care of a housemaid when they were away. we didnt get influenced by them in anything ( language..or whatever) cause my mother made sure that we didnt.

as long as the parents influence is much stronger than the maid's then there is no harm in having one.

and yes..we do need one especially in this day and age, where most women work as well.

[H-Highness]

I don't see anything wrong having domestic servants at home if couples can afford it as long as things are put into proper manner and limitation.

Personally, I feel looking after kids its totally 100% wife's job but if the wife is doing her job OK as a parent, I don't see reason why the husband not providing her with maid. Afterall, wives are not forced to do household chores.

[IceTea]

The problem is when the parents ignore their duties and responsibilities as parents and espacially the mother. Coz what's hapining that the wife will depend 80 % on the maid and let her take control of the house and kids and here is the problem. While she is busy with gossiping with her freinds on the phone, watching TV, going to work and she completely ignore her duties as mother.

[Libellula]

If there was no such thing as housemaids, thousands of women would be jobless..

just a thought.

[Thug4Life]

Ok as a job house maids are important But the problem is witin the idea of them being from a different culture and sometimes (more important) different religion!!!! ya see what i mean!

[Solafa]

well to me housemaids are good to have them at the same time are not in the other side,depends what are thier rule in the house!
as what every one said above that the main aim for them to be in homes or houses is to help the housewive's instead of replacing them..........

4 example ,at our home the housemaids role is to clean the house and washing the cloth but of our mother only.when i said cleaning the house was to be including the setting rooms and the family lounge plus the kitchen and my mum;s room and watering the outside plants..... this is her only job in our house,,,,,,,,,,,

and every one of us do clean,wash tidy and iron thier own cloth and room even the used plates or dishes.........

plus my elder sister does the cooking and take care of our little baby and wash his cloth..........even my dad washes and irons his own cloth:)

i mentioned all of the above to show how did my mum manage to keep the house maid out of the circute to be too involved in our life.......which means she has no much of a rule to affect my little brothers or sisters in either the attitude or the language.............


i belive that a housewife who does not want a housemaid to replace her in the house as in the role ofbeeing a mother or even a wife will put limitation to which stand that the housemaid will have and to what or which roles she has in the house ...........
then she will keep the rest to her and take care of things by her self .........in this way she wont have any chance to loose her husband or her kids

but i know that now days as there is some demands on the ladies instead of beeing houswives to be working outside the house for soem reason or another...which will make them to demand on the housemaids to replace them for some times in the house during thier absence.......but they have to make sure that the time that they r not at home the housemade will not bring any conflicts when the housewives r back ........
and also for the housewives to spend more time with thier kids and husbands when they r back because in this way it will bring more secure and confidance and making the feelings that she is around and she is not missing any thing that is going around and that will still make her the mother and the wife neeeded and wanted from both the husband and the kids..........


so from all of this is that there is advantages and disadvatages in haveing the housemaids at home or house........it all depends on the housewife in how to make it work all for her own benifit or against her.........


or what do u think!
:confused: :confused:


with all the love,

SOLAFA:color: :o