Mods please don't move this thread. it's intended only for the Man Utd fans who visit the sports sabla. grasshopper will love this.

ok here we go:

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.

Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.

Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are f**ing bad singers!!!

Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.

Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real d!ck

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.

:mad:

you asked for trouble.

Originally posted by Big MO
Mods please don't move this thread. it's intended only for the Man Utd fans who visit the sports sabla. grasshopper will love this.

ok here we go:

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.

Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.

Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are f**ing bad singers!!!

Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.

Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real d!ck

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.

Keeeeeewl:gap:

Geeee!!!

Cool ones... but fits more with AL Nasr :D

Originally posted by EviliO
Geeee!!!

Cool ones... but fits more with AL Nasr :D

hey evilio man i was starting to like you but after your AlNasr comment :fire: :fire:

i never said anything about Seeb:D

No offence though :D

nice ones
i remember reading them somewhere in some arsenal website
always fun to read it again
and here are few more :

Posh Spice and David Beckham were sat in front of the Television watching the Six o'clock news. The headline feature was a man who was threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge onto the busy road below. Posh turns to Beckham and says "Dave, I bet you £5000 that he jumps!" to which Beckham replies "5000! Done" The pair shake on it and continue watching the commotion on the TV. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes 5000 out of his pocket and gives it to Posh. "I can't take that from you, Dave" she says. "I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news so I knew what was going to happen. I can't accept that money". Beckham replies "No Posh. The money is yours fair and square. I was cheating too, I saw the news at five. I just didn't think he would do it again!!"

Daid Beckham is celebrating; "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him hy hes celebrating . He answers "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet" says David."It says 3 to 5 years on he box."

courtesy of the gooners

Originally posted by Azx911
nice ones
i remember reading them somewhere in some arsenal website
always fun to read it again
and here are few more :

Posh Spice and David Beckham were sat in front of the Television watching the Six o'clock news. The headline feature was a man who was threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge onto the busy road below. Posh turns to Beckham and says "Dave, I bet you £5000 that he jumps!" to which Beckham replies "5000! Done" The pair shake on it and continue watching the commotion on the TV. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes 5000 out of his pocket and gives it to Posh. "I can't take that from you, Dave" she says. "I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news so I knew what was going to happen. I can't accept that money". Beckham replies "No Posh. The money is yours fair and square. I was cheating too, I saw the news at five. I just didn't think he would do it again!!"

Daid Beckham is celebrating; "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him hy hes celebrating . He answers "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet" says David."It says 3 to 5 years on he box."

courtesy of the gooners

:D :D
very funny azx911. one thing though; there is no road underneath Clifton bridge. only river mate.

Gosh!!
U really think he is so dumb? :D

Originally posted by EviliO
Gosh!!
U really think he is so dumb? :D

think??? we know beck is sooo dumb. a very rich dumb though.

Rich and dumb…the perfect husband!

:gap: