So far, all that we've been discussing all over sabla is relationships, love, marriage, etc...
But, what if you just want to stay single??? What's the big deal?
If you have a girl who didn't get married, it would be like a shame to her family, and the same goes to a guy, and people will never stop talking, they either feel sorry for her/him, though I can't really understand why, or would say that she/he deserves this for an act in the past.
Now I know that marriage is the way life goes, and I'll probably be attacked by many, but I'm just saying that, not everyone gets married, for various reasons, so you the different look to those people, and what is so wrong if someone just wants to stay alone? It's probably difficult, but not everyone is lucky enough to find someone...
Waiting for your opinions, and just to let you know, I'm not against marriage at all, in fact, I find it an important aspect of life!:)

i find that there is nothing wrong if some chooses to stay alone..but i think that there surely is a reason why this person has made this choice...it cant just be that this person wants to stay alone for the rest of his/her life.

Originally posted by Dr N

aBut, what if you just want to stay single??? What's the big deal?

band what is so wrong if someone just wants to stay alone?

cIt's probably difficult, but not everyone is lucky enough to find someone...


a: The person who desires to stay single, given time, would wish later that they had a partner.
Many people like to stay single because they are very occupied in their lives with study or work.... and if this person is not dating or has a relaitonship at all........then they will feel the need for attention and loving. Every individual will feel this at their own time. Unless they do have health problems with their sexuality...:rolleyes:

b There is nothing wrong, but one should understand that marriage or couples creates a society and basically gives us a purpose in life and things to look forward to. You need to think about it, ok you socialise with your friends outside, but that isnt everyday. And when you come home, you want to laugh/share secrets/argue/love/confide with somebody really close to you. Its the balance.

cIt is very difficult to find a partner.
to find somebody, i think the person should take part in society and not keep to themselves. Once you get to know people and start sharing friendships, the story starts from there. People who wish to remain single, are independant but sadly become loners and depressed if they continue to stay that way.

everybody needs somebody

As Scottish_Gal described most people who decide to stay single are usually preoccupied with studies & work! However, in many instances they are not really single but rather living with a partner unmarried!

I think it is only natural to get married.... but some people choose to be indpendent.... and finally it is a personal thing! I hate it in this part of the world the way people pressurise single ones to get married.... I think people should get married when they feel they are ready to do so.... whether at the age of 18 or 60 yrs! It should be a personal reason not a public decision!

People who decide to stay alone are standing against the nature as human beings. Because when Allah created Adam he created a partner for him Eve, and this means both the man and a woman should support each other in this life by the tie of marraige as also stated in the holy Quran. Profet Mohammed PBUH encouraged youth to go for marraige if they have the resources and strength. Therefore staying single without any valid reason is against the Islamic teachings and will lead this person to making mistakes in his/her life as a result of standing against the nature if his creation as human being.

"No life without Husband or a Wife"

Originally posted by IceTea


"No life without Husband or a Wife"

And what if you don't find the right person? Should you just marry for the sake of NOT being single? How lame is that?

If you are happy being single, and have not yet found someone you'd like to share the rest of your life with then I say you stay that way until you feel ready to settle down. Forget about society's stupid ideas about marriage and people's stupid way of thinking. Are you living for yourself or for other people/society?

And it ain't no SHAME either. I have an aunt who just got married last week, she's 32!!! And her whole family is proud of her as is her new husband.

Be a player, and don't marry ... you'll have fun.

But, in the later days make sure you don't repent for not making a family when you had time, and when there's no one to watch your back if you choke on a pretzel :tiered:

I have an aunt who just got married last week, she's 32!!!

Is 32 really old to get married?

Originally posted by Shinoda LP
Is 32 really old to get married?

By Omani standards?

Yes. :duh:

By my own?

No. :wink:

Good good ... so, you applying to the US? ;)

I agree with RA, you can't just get married simply because your family would be ashamed of you if you didn't.

I think that you should wait for the right person no matter how long it'll take. Who cares what other people think if you got married when you were in your 30s?

Personally, I'm not planning on getting married until I am at least 26 years old. I think that a person should become completely independant and make a living and a life for themselves before they get married - however long it takes!

There is nothing wrong in being single at the time being.
Rushing people into marriages has many disadvantages
But I wouldnt want to be single for a very long time.
And I do agree with u Dr. N
Our society is just like that. They feel sorry for people who are not married yet but as they say in arabic kul shay gisma o naseeb.
I believe that everyone has someone out there to share the rest of their lives with and we dont have to rush into it. Things will happen when the time is right.
They shouldnt make a big deal about people who r still single and fuss about oppotunities and stuff like that. It''ll all happen when the time is right.

Each to his own I say, and if you are satisfied and fulfilled as a single person, then good for you.

Personally though, I am not made for the single life. I crave companionship too much and hope that I wont be alone for too much longer.

Inshallah....

single , married , divorced , who cares!! why do people have to interfere in everything and everyones life. why cant they live their life and leave each to his/her own.

and another thing..why would anyone care about what people say in the first place. if you're not ready for marriage , if u know that u cant handle it and decided to stay single then u should go for it..and not care about what the others say. one should just do what makes him/her happy. :bored:

There's nothing wrong with being singel i know a lot of people who are and they are living their lives normally some who have never gotten married at all and others who have gotten married but things just didn't work out for them

Some people just can't imagine themselves sharing a life a house a bedroom with some1 else :D :D ....I think thats healthy maybe they're not really ready to make committments yet !

I have an aunt who's in her late 30s now and is not thinking of getting married she just says she can't find the right person till now o she's happy with her life till now maybe its for the best she says :D :D :color: :color:
And i agree with what Homeless said :
Originally posted by Homeless
It''ll all happen when the time is right.

tara kil shay fi wagta 7ilo ;)

well i dont understand why people like to interefere with other's lives. they set marriage standards, which make most people rush into marriage then their marriage dont work. then divorce and finnaly criticize divorce women and give them bad looks. what's this. i think if we dont get bother with what people say with their marriage standars and those people who got married because they felt they've found their partners we wouldnt see all people divorce. We cant deny that the divorce rate is going up day after day. And this would be the main reason.

I hate it in this part of the world the way people pressurise single ones to get married

My point exactly! A lot of people just get married for the sake of fiding someone and most probably make their parents happy, rather than getting married because you FOUND your partner.

why would anyone care about what people say in the first place.

It's the way our society is. Everyone is in eachother's business, all the time!! Relatives come and give you their harsh opinions, with no considerations sometimes, there are some who do understand, but lets be realistic here!

And I know that marriage is the nature of life, but as I said, not everyone is fortunate enough to find a good partner, or sometimes, a person might be going though some tough psychological circumstances that forbids him/her from thinking about marriage, or maybe they're just happy the way they are! My point is, it's a personal choice and no one has the right to interfere!

And btw, I have a cousin who also got married 10 days ago, and he was 34, his bride wasn't young either, and this exactly proves my point!

Just Wondering Where are we Heading??
Even Animals Needs a partner.. and Yet Human being are questioning that!! is this a 21st centuries lifestyle?:sweat:

Originally posted by Sleyum
Just Wondering Where are we Heading??
Even Animals Needs a partner.. and Yet Human being are questioning that!! is this a 21st centuries lifestyle?:sweat:

Yes..you bet:duh:

Every status either married or single has its own taste! And for all reasons stated above religious and humanism people should always listen to the "CALL OF SUSTAINABILITY" and aim for a life-time partnership. Because Human-Nature forces someone to share his life with a partner..just a imagine for a second that YOU are on your own on earth:eyes: , you'll see a minute like a thousand years.

Now..these critics from the society..i'll just call them..reminders for myself and take them with an open heart..i dont see why people take things always in a -ve way..be +ve and you will always find yourself doing things in a their best possible manners.

P.S.I'm still single:blush:

This thread reminds me of Robbie William's Song Supreme


Oh it seemed forever stopped today
All the lonely hearts in London
Caught a plane and flew away
And all the best women are married
All the handsome men are gay
You feel deprived

Yeah are you questioning your size?
Is there a tumour in your humour,
Are there bags under your eyes?
Do you leave dents where you sit,
Are you getting on a bit?
Will you survive
You must survive

When there's no love in town
This new century keeps bringing you down
All the places you have been
Trying to find a love supreme
A love supreme

Oh what are you really looking for?
Another partner in your life to
abuse and to adore?
Is it lovey dovey stuff,
Do you need a bit of rough?
Get on your knees

Yeah turn down the love songs that you hear
'Cause you can't avoid the sentiment
That echoes in your ear
Saying love will stop the pain
Saying love will kill the fear
Do you believe
You must believe
When there's no love in town
This new century keeps bringing you down
All the places you have been
Trying to find a love supreme
A love supreme

I spy with my little eye
Something beginning with (ah)
Got my back up
And now she's screaming
So I've got to turn the track up
Sit back and watch the royalties stack up
I know this girl she likes to switch teams
And I'm a fiend but I'm living for a love supreme

When there's no love in town
This new century keeps bringing you down
All the places you have been
Trying to find a love supreme
A love supreme

Come and live a love supreme
Don't let it get you down
Everybody lives for love

Come and live a love supreme
Don't let it get you down
Everybody lives for love

To answer your question people prefer to stay single since they can't find the so-called Love Supreme. So they keep waiting and waiting till they reach this stage


http://www.eskeletons.org/viewer/images/skeleton.gif

God bless you all in your love findings :color:

Originally posted by runnin' around
And what if you don't find the right person? Should you just marry for the sake of NOT being single? How lame is that?



First of all if you have the intention to marry then you will find the right person and even if it happen for the girl to to be a 2nd or 3rd wife nothing wrong with that.

At the end it's better to have a home and family instead of becoming homless.

HH, lol, nice one girl!!;)

icey icey icey:duh:
You get married and then find the right person?!! And it's ok to hae a second and third wife?!!:bang:
Please! Why not find the right one in the first go, should save you a lot of money!!
Besides, I'm not talkinga about finding the right person here, I'm saying that I find it rather annoying how society treats those who are single, so what, they are less just because they didn't find a partner??

KOA, I agree, you can't live in this world without a partner, it's difficult, but many people have managed and are doing just fine, it's just that sometimes life takes a different route than what we want, and sometimes we just need to accept what is going on!

Originally posted by IceTea
First of all if you have the intention to marry then you will find the right person and even if it happen for the girl to to be a 2nd or 3rd wife nothing wrong with that.

At the end it's better to have a home and family instead of becoming homless.


Some people are romantic, and would like to think that there's only ONE person for everyone, that everyone has a soulmate :rolleyes: .. so they wouldn't go for the 2nd and 3rd wife thing.

As for having a home, just because you're single does not mean that you don't have one. You'll always have your family, who will be there for you no matter what. Or you can set up your own home, adopt a couple of kids, and live like that.

Being single by choice does not mean that you have to be alone.

Originally posted by Phoenix
Being single by choice does not mean that you have to be alone.

Well said phoenix;)

Oh, and I forgot to mention something.. Pets. ;)

Originally posted by Dr N
HH, lol, nice one girl!!;)

icey icey icey:duh:
You get married and then find the right person?!! And it's ok to hae a second and third wife?!!:bang:



I didn't get the meaning of above comment :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Dr N

Please! Why not find the right one in the first go, should save you a lot of money!!
Besides, I'm not talkinga about finding the right person here, I'm saying that I find it rather annoying how society treats those who are single, so what, they are less just because they didn't find a partner??


If we are talking about not finding Mr or Miss right, then it's the person problem they keep on searching, selecting and refusing (espacially girls) and this is against our profet teachings. And at the end they will find themselves no one looking at them and will just be ignored, why because people prefet to marry young guys or girls and the as the person getting old his/her chance of finding a partner goes down and down until will just end up being "3anis"!

goes down and down until will just end up being "3anis"!

Thank you ice t, you've just proven what I've been trying to say and that is how society looks towards single women!:)
What I'm trying to say has nothing to do with finding the right person, but how we in our societies, think of being single as a shame!

Dr N CoOl that u got the courage at last to post this my dear;) . When I was discussing this prb most of them were against me, so now I can see the opposite:rolleyes: .

lol el7ilwa, so tell us what you think of it??

btw, I hate the word "3anis", which is an arabic word to describe a single woman, I just hate this word sooooo much! What about the rest of you?

Originally posted by Dr N
lol el7ilwa, so tell us what you think of it??

btw, I hate the word "3anis", which is an arabic word to describe a single woman, I just hate this word sooooo much! What about the rest of you?

a happy 3anis better than a sad bride, & I think I told u my opinion before between us:) , but I'll tell u later about it.

well personal opinion being single is never a shame but I think being single for long time is not good and many girls have been so selective, and when it is already too late they regret :sad:

Originally posted by Dr N
btw, I hate the word "3anis", which is an arabic word to describe a single woman, I just hate this word sooooo much! What about the rest of you?
Spinster (3anis)... I hate it too.... some times you are only 18 and then you start hearing people gossiping that oh... you better get yourself a husband or you'll end up a spinster! I mean for God sake ... back off!! I think spinster is a 'male' made terminology!!

The worst of all.... is one way or another it seems to target the female gender only in this society.... don't understand why?? What about the guys.... never heard of it among guys... they always seem to be bombarding the female.... especially the ones that are interested to persue a good career .....!!! Dam-n...... it is very annoying!

Originally posted by IceTea

At the end it's better to have a home and family instead of becoming homless.


homeless... my nickname haaaaaaaa :)

some people believe in love after marriage.
I believe that everyone is meant to be with a certain someone and no matter how much time it takes, u'll find that someone.
this might sound lame. . but its what I believe!!

Dr N:lol el7ilwa, so tell us what you think of it??

What I really belive is that no girl wanna be Spinster (3anis) with out a reason...& there are many reasons which make girls don't think of marriage. About my self I should know what is suitable for me or not, & it all depends on my personality & my way in life if I'm ready to live new life or not also if it is easy for me or not......so this is Y the girl can not push her self like this in new thing very easily with out knowing what is waiting for her....
so girls don't be hurry to take this decision & then u gonna feel sorry for taking it:wink: .

Originally posted by jamila
well personal opinion being single is never a shame but I think being single for long time is not good and many girls have been so selective, and when it is already too late they regret :sad:

Weldone Noble Women this is a kind of suggestion I Love to hear, wish all Single Women will answer the call to that and take on Whoever comes first to propose for marriage

KING_OF_ALL
I've just read your poem.

it represent a town called DARTMOUTH next to PLYMOUTH city in DEVON county in the UNITED KINGDOM.

THERE most guys are single coz all ladies are younger than 15 or older than 50 so they don't have any ckhance to fall in love and get married.

i think being single is great.
no rules.
no bloody demanding wife .
full walet at all time.
no annoying kids.


then have a new girlfriend in every harbour you visit. and enjoy your life.

some times you are only 18 and then you start hearing people gossiping that oh... you better get yourself a husband or you'll end up a spinster! I mean for God sake ... back off!! I think spinster is a 'male' made terminology!!

Exactly what I had in mind!!! People make it sound like being single is like doing a big sin!! I'm not with the idea of being single, I just hate the way people look at the issue from such a narrow prespective!

What I really belive is that no girl wanna be Spinster (3anis) with out a reason...& there are many reasons which make girls don't think of marriage.

Well said el7ilwa, every girl surely has a reason to postponing the idea of marriage, and each case is different from the other, and I agree, you shouldn't rush into something just for the sake of not being defined or marked as a spinster! I've always thought that marriage was a much higher level of a relationship.

think being single is great.no rules.
no bloody demanding wife .
full walet at all time.
no annoying kids.


LOL desert sailor! So true though, but eventually you'll get bored!

nothing wrong with being single... rather be happy alone then miserable with just anybody for the sake of not being "single"… I'm not gonna generalize but the sad thing about some girls now…. Is that they don’t feel whole or fulfilled as a person inless they r half part of a relationship with some guy…. BIG mistake….

well I beleive that its a human nature to be married .. everyone will have a time when he/she thinks that they really want to get married .. its a psychological thing. The man wants to be with one woman, and a woman wants to be with one man!! they seek stability I must say!

There is no problem is being "late" to get married ... but, many girls who think that at that certain time they want to be single keep on refusing people for this reason or that and they would regret it later on .. after all every healthy human being reams of having thier own family!!

I hate the word spinster, because first of all you cant define who is like this and who is not. I mean a 35 years lady in the west is not a spinster while in the arab world is too old to get married!!

I WAS AWAY FOR FEW WEEKS. TO BE FAIR I WAS VERY HAPPY BEING SINGLE, BUT I MET A LADY WHO CHAINGED MY MIND , STOLE MY HEART , SINCE I MET HER I STOPED EVERY THING BUT THINKING OF HER, I WILL BE THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THIS LIFE IF SHE BECOMES MY WIFE.

Originally posted by desert sailor
I WAS AWAY FOR FEW WEEKS. TO BE FAIR I WAS VERY HAPPY BEING SINGLE, BUT I MET A LADY WHO CHAINGED MY MIND , STOLE MY HEART , SINCE I MET HER I STOPED EVERY THING BUT THINKING OF HER, I WILL BE THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THIS LIFE IF SHE BECOMES MY WIFE.


That's a really big change in attitude.. looking at your previous post. :eek:



I'm happy for you though. :)

there is nothing wrong of staying single as long as you are happy with yourself and fon't feel you need some to support you, love you, share thoughts with you, call you in the middle of the night to wake you up ;)

You want to be single for your rest of your Life?! Go head

Want to be a Widow sure why not, what ever makes you feel ontop of the world shouldn;t be a problem at all as long you are happy dear! :D

No one wants to be alone for all his life - I do not agree with that not even one bit! It reaches a time where one wants to have a fmaily, the feelings of getting married, falling in love being a mother and so on. That is how life goes on, sunat el haya in arabic!

However - those who tend to feel like being single for their whole life one - if that person is a Lezbian }tomboy} I might understand that and some ppl tend to feel like they don;t need someone to protect them or be with they feel like man anyway! Someone who has hard a bad experience could be one of the reasons!!

But just out of the blues one who has no any reasons decides in going single I doubt that!

there's nothing wrong at all if a girl wants to stay single... actually i think agirl should get marry if she finds the right person and not because of what the society is going to say........


people will talk about you whether you are single , married or divorced..... so there's no way for you to stop them from talking,,,, so you should do what's right for you and get marry at the right time to a right person.

Originally posted by nana
there's nothing wrong at all if a girl wants to stay single...

If she want to stay single then there are alot of girls want to marry :). She will be the loser at the end.

you make a choice stick to it no matter what, i'm sure she has reason to wanting to stay single

ice t, a loser is such a big word!!

Why a loser? Life doesn't end if a girl stays single. She can accomplish a lot if she has the will power!

My Dear Brothers & Sisters

Salaa'm Alikoum

Do you know that the number of Spinster (3anis)... is really increasing in Oman and alot of our Omani Sisters reached the age of 35 or 40 and they are still Spinster (3anis)... isn't this Bad to our culture and our way of Life...Why we don't talk about this??..

Bin Al Rahbi

[i]

I hate the word spinster, because first of all you cant define who is like this and who is not. I mean a 35 years lady in the west is not a spinster while in the arab world is too old to get married!! [/B]

that is the WEST and we are an Arab Islamic Country which is our culture and tradtional life is diffrent 99.9%..

PLZ don't compare WEST to Oman.....

Bin Al Rahbi

i agree with you, not everyone is luck to find that someone. and is someone is happy being single why bother his life?
i say everyone has the right to choose his life style and plan as he like.....

Inzain let me ask you girls a question:
What makes u feel like being single and not get married?? what is the reason behind that??

we can find solutions for that and u girls can get married..

tell us the reason why u dont want to get married.?

salam all..........

well i dont think there is anything wrong with being single ........ and not all of us regret it......

how many of u are single who have actually answered and not looking ...................

being single or married that's not the point, the most important is being happy , so if a person choose to stay single and she's happy , why not, unfortunatly our society is rude with the single, and when they will become old, nobody will want to take care of them, the parents will not last for ever, and the others have their own family to deal with, so they will end up alone , sad, with no son and grandson to visit them, and then they will regret :rolleyes: