what it 's common is that some parents force they sons to marry their cousins, their neighbour or even a lady suggested by others.....

now i want to know from guys ... even girls can share their thoughts and ideas that make a guy marry a girl although he doesnt want to marry her there's something forcing him to do so.... so what could be these forces or reasons ??????

This does happen a lot. Generally, the mother likes to choose what she thinks is best for her kids, even when it comes to her sons marriage. In some cases the guy might refuse to marry the girl, but with time and extra pressure from the parent/s, he gives in. Sometimes the parent/s will recompense the guy with something he really wants if he gets married to the girl. It differs from case to case, but in the end the guy finds no way out but to accomplish what his parent/s ask.

Or the guy might simply love his mother to the extent that he’d do anything she wants him to, including marriage. That’s all I can come up with now, I guess the guys know more about this than I do
:rolleyes:

Reasons...

well it,s all about familly tradition , and the reason behindthat is to maintain their familty names from begin vanished ..obviously in recent generation aren,t restricted as like da old generations ...shortly that,s all family tradition .

yeah, like i once read in a message:

Finding love is a mission
Choosing love is an ambition
so just follow your ARAB tradition
and let your mother make the decision

Now isn't that true :D

salam alikom evrybody afetr long time :)

this topic which has many factors in the socity not even in Oman even other countries aroun. and i have seen my self some kind of these forces which happend some time a go.
the factors which may be happening in the country is mostly about some belive which you may find it withing some families that the girl will not be able to chose her partner correctly and the parents are experinced on that and they know where to put their girl or boy( thats is what the paretnts belive ). So the another reason which i can find it as well some problems which may be between the two family ( in the past ) which is affecting the present generation and we can say almost EGO factor !

another magor reason the ppl some time are less educated and they are less aware about the islam where isalm against the way of forcing for marridge in both sides. so if they really follow the quraan they will find the solution insha allah.

infact now adays its reducing i hope in our society ,, and the ppl are more open minded in this field ,,

this is very much big problem withing the society which we should fight it anway,,,,,

Thanks :color:

Originally posted by Cerulean
yeah, like i once read in a message:

Finding love is a mission
Choosing love is an ambition
so just follow your ARAB tradition
and let your mother make the decision

Now isn't that true :D

real love is about submission
it numbs your every intuition
and blinds your sense of vision
makes you see no other decision
and forget your mother's tradtion

wa salamt ya alsha3ir

There are many reasons.... one of them is family and especially

parents pressure … particularly when there is a strong bond

between the son and his father/mother …his loyalty to them will

him prevent from rejecting their decisions… another reason is if

the son has weak personality and can’t say NO …therefore by

this negative attitude he will allow them not to take decisions on

his behalf but to control his entire life …
________________________________________
Losers Never win........

Originally posted by Big MO
real love is about submission
it numbs your every intuition
and blinds your sense of vision
makes you see no other decision
and forget your mother's tradtion

wa salamt ya alsha3ir

9a7 lsaank

:D
_________________________________________
Losers Never win.....

Originally posted by Cerulean
Finding love is a mission
Choosing love is an ambition
so just follow your ARAB tradition
and let your mother make the decision


I like that:D

Certainly, there are lots of pressures from the society in terms of family traditions to the modernization and the requirement of the current life standards. My family don’t interfere too much with wives selection, though they tell you what’s good and bad for you and from there..you have to choose your own path. But sometimes, indeed they would put on you enormous pressure if they see something really wrong with a marriage such as totally different tribes where they have different traditions. Personally I’d support them for that…because they say..when you marry someone..you marry his/her family too.

Other than that..things like marriages because of money or high status in the society is not really an issue now a days but this doesn’t apply to all the families as I’m just talking from my point of view.

Lets see what others think about this very sensitive issue?

first of all i appreciate all your replies. My point is what are other reasons that would make the guy marry a girl he doesnt love?????? or doesnt want to marry her but there are forces that make him has to marry that girl.... what could these forces or reasons be????


Cerulean and Big MO like your replies.

marriage is a life time commitment and one shouldnt be rushed or forced into it. think and choose wisely , cause this isnt something u should be doing to please other..but please urself..cause its your life..and u'll be the one who's gonna live it..not others.

reasons why parents force their children to marry? could be financial..could be for pleasure, could be for many reasons. its a wrong practice in our society..and i wonder when people are gonna grow out of such ideas.

Nabhan u said what i was thinking :)

u summed it up well.

WEll, I know such an incident that a man proposed to one of his relative, she agreed, after they were officialy engaged, she realised that she can't understand him, her feelings has changed towards him, she went and told her parents, they refused to accept it, they were forucing her to call him, etc.

Then she went to his mother and told her that she want to brake up the engagment, and stated her reasons, but his mother refused to accept it too, at the end she went told the man she was sopposed to marry that she is marring him only for the sack of her parents and not that she wants to marry him, after few days he had a second thought about what she said and he borke up with her for that reason.

She has still problem with her parents about it, some of her relaives are still trying to convince her to get married to that man.

marriage by force is one of the worst problems tht young people who are on the steps of marriage in our generation face... i mean parents are ofcourse wiser and they might know better
but if the son was only persuaded to marry the girl his family chose just for the sake of forefilling his parents' wish then i really do not respect this person because he just followed his parents' advice marriage is not a game its a commitment and u have to make sure when u commit urself to something as important as marriage tht u r ready and u're doing it because u want to and because u can do it without ur parents bossing u around ......this is all part of the arab tradition i agree with u guyss ! but this thing has stopped nowadays and people became more openminded... i just hope tht people make wise decisions that show a broad thinking mentality not a narrow one :) :color:

Originally posted by nana
My point is what are other reasons that would make the guy marry a girl he doesnt love?????? or doesnt want to marry her but there are forces that make him has to marry that girl.... what could these forces or reasons be????



I think that it's mainly family, pressure and tradition. Most people are raised to think that tradition and what their mothers think is always "right", so when the mother hints that she'd like her son to marry a certain girl, the son would usually go for it, thinking that his mother knows what's best for him.

(correct me if I'm wrong) In our society, I don't think that many guys actually think that "love" matters very much when you're going to get married. You can learn to love the person I guess..

Cerulean and Big MO like your replies.

Ur welcome :D

And Phoenix you're right. We have many examples, u know. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Qoloob
9a7 lsaank



merci um a3wad!!!

well yeah Phoenix, you are right. some of these guys had been in relationships which couldnt survive therefore they want to try other way. well there are also men who think that their mothers know the best and accept girls whom are chosen for them just by looking through pics or telling that this family has a girlwho's pretty good mannar and so soo. well then they leave everything for their mothers to decide. well i wouldnt like to get marriend to such a man because my man should choose me not neccesarly to love me i mean not necessarly to be in arelationship but at least he should be convisced that i'm good to be his wife.

It's not exactly WRONG to get married this way though. A lot of these marriages work out. It's just that nowadays most of us like to choose for ourselves instead of leaving everything to our mothers to plan.

It happens to girls too.

well yeah Phoenix, there are some men who let their mothers choose for them but maybe they have failed in relationships therefore what to try old methods. well i think for the couple have to accept one another and shouldnt be forced. the man who is going to marry me should be conviced that i can be his wife and accept me as a mother of his children not because people are saying this and that but he should feel that.

So why not try a mixture of both? Old and new.

The guy's mother can introduce him to a girl who she thinks would make a "great wife" and then she should let them get to know each other. If they click, then they should go ahead and get married..

Originally posted by Phoenix
The guy's mother can introduce him to a girl who she thinks would make a "great wife" and then she should let them get to know each other. If they click, then they should go ahead and get married..

I agree with your point.