what's up guys,

well will u please fasten u're seat belts cause we are lifting up...
Well there have been loads of matters that i would like to speak about. The first matter is the F****n work. It has been very diffecult for a guy in our country (of course Oman) to work for his living as there are no places that require workers!!! i have two cousines that have finished secondary school and now it's theire second year just looking for work. when is this ******** going to stop???It is like of life is saying to us ' u have to rough in order to survive'

Moreover, marriage!!! they say get married!!How the F**k are we going to get married if the dowreys(mahar) reached unimaginable numbers!!!! The law says the dowrey for a women should not exceed R.O 2000!!! but the father of the pride says ' if u want to get married to my daughter then pay R.O 5000!!! where am i gone get the sort of money!!!! i ain't gone find. would i want to get a car or build a house or get married. Now, these fathers don't know...they don't know that they are risking thiere daughters life with that dicision!!!! they are distroying theire daughters life, cause theire husbands will end up paying most of his salary to the BANK!!!! what kind of justice is this? Tell me! Tell me if u have the answer..

Hi my brother:

I fully understood the situation that you are going throw, that’s so hard, I do not know when the fathers will understand the situation of the guys, what he is going to do if he needs to help his son getting married and face the same situation.??? prophet Mohammed said: "do not reject a man who have a good manners and if you do so we will face a problem in our society".

How many girl reaches her 30 in the gulf it's a very huge number, if our guys turn to marry girls from out side the country what the girls going to do.??? they are not allowed to marry guys from out side the gulf, they putting us in a hard situation even the girl can't talk with her father and asking him to accept the marriage, she will be so rude, I do not know when we will get a good solution for this problem.????

i wish you and all other guys solve your problems, but not in getting married from out side the country.

May Allah help all of you inshalla, Ameen.

hedaya.

thank u very much hedaya, u don't know how much pain did u relief.

thanx again.
byeee Xman.

I think the answer to this problem .. is the guys taking a stronger action .. he should face his father in low .. tell him that what is he asking for is something in dreams and he cant afford it .. I know that in Oman it is kind of bad saying that .. but then that is the only way to solve the problem .. If the father did not accept to reduce the dowary .. then the guy should not marry that girl .. the girl also have to take strong actions .. she should talk to her father about what is he asking .. both can try to change the situation .. it is not easy I know .. but by time .. everything will change INSHALLAH ..

Jazak Allah kheer Arab prince…
Is that your own experience? (Joke).
Yes I agree with you. The man should try as well as the girl, but at least the girl should try with her mother instead of her father, I don’t know I just feel mother much closer, and somtime when the man being rude with his father in law I don’t think that may help. Most of fathers would say (ma3a Alf salama):)
Really it’s a big problem now a day.

Hey fathers please help men getting married may Allah reward you.

May Allah help all girls and boys in getting married..Ameen.

hedaya

thank you hidaya .. ( I am arabian Princess -- a female )
first .. this is not my experience .. since I am not married yet :) ..
secondly .. I did not mean that the guy should be rude to his father in low .. he could use some diplomatic ways to get what he wants .. and yes .. maybe if the girl talked to her mother it would be easier .. but not all mothers can face fathers .. and in some families .. girls are closer to thier fathers .. any way .. the girl should try to talk to who she think can change the situation ..

I also call for father to reduce the Mahar .. what did teh father in low who maid his daughter get married with 1 rial lose ?! nothing and he was high in the eyes of the society .. what about the women who's mahar was the Islam of the husband in the jahilia ?!
Hope this situation will be over soon .. and all Omani's find the right husband and wife

In The Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Dears,

A'Sa'lam Alikum Wa Rahmat Allah


I know that I am getting involving in things that simply don’t concern me alone, how care! However, I thought it is time you see sense and started to direct your energy into something more constructive. Possibly, it is true that old enemies might prove useful in love as they throw someone off the scent who was beginning to be a bit of an annoyance. It seems that the life is so tough with us (boys and girls in Oman) these days, how sand to hear that, and hopefully things going to be less hectic in the near future.

You seem incapable of taking the subtle approach these days and so listen to my advise: The culmination of much hard work finally comes to fruition and hopefully you start to see a new path taking shape ahead of you. What you may want, could be never easy to obtain, but you some how expected it to come together sooner by way or another.

Employment:

Xman: I have two cousins that have finished secondary school and now it's their second year just looking for work: This is a fact and the Government is entirely responsible to employ all citizens, if not it is responsible to give them money to live until they get jobs. Frankly, the government is responsible to find jobs for them too. All graduates, both from high school or university, go and register in the Ministry of Civil Services (Affairs) and then they are going to wait long time until few of them get finally jobs in private companies with low salary (e.g. RO120 excluding accommodation and transport). I am not trying to say that Omani citizens would like to get jobs with governmental sectors only, this was the point, they would like to work as cleaners or whatever jobs they could get. The point is the salary, they have families, most of them are poor, and they need to get a car, house and wife or at least later, which is more expensive than the car. In the forgotten centuries when there are real Muslims countries, the governments gave salaries to everyone until they got job, nowadays unfortunately European countries do that while Oman and others do not. So the problem is the Government? Do not get me wrong, I do not meant HM Qaboos, who is the wise man in this tiny world as I believe but the Omani citizens who work in the government.. the issue to which I am trying hardly to draw your attention is that people once they got what they dreamed of, they forget what they were and they ignore that there is still a problem does exist in the society. Notice that the crime rate is increasing nowadays in Oman and the reason is obvious, which is the unemployment and indignity. Finally, I wish that one day there would be honest angelic people whom going to look after the benefit of the nation rather than their owns.


Marriage & Dowry:

Xman: marriage (high dowries (mahar), although the law restricte the dowry to be R.O 2000 or less, plus car, home and other stuff) Hedaya: Prophet Mohammed said: "do not reject a man who have a good manners and if you do so we will face a problem in our society". Arabian Princess: healthy action (diplomatic) should be taken from both girls and boys to overcome this problem.

If you intend to get married, you need at least R.O 4000 as dowry, 1000 for the new room, 3000 for the dinner or lunch banquet (meal) and 300 for the first night and the list is open? Xman asking the fathers from where am I going get this sort of money? Good question, but I doubt there is an answer…

Anyone doubt that fathers don't know that they are selling their daughters? Yes, I believe they know and still insist as they might say that dowry of our neighbour’s daughter is 3000 and so ours should be higher, why not? Frankly, they are not qualified to know that they are risking their daughter’s life with what they attempting to achieve.

Is there any Omani citizen, who doe not own a loan to the bank? The answer is no, otherwise you are not Omani? This is the new technique to discover your nationality, you might laugh but this is the painful truth, most of youths get married only if they could get loans from banks. Recently, Islamic associations and fellowships (jameiaats) spread fortunately in the Omani societies to solve the problem and this is a good start of a bright peaceful future. So, we should encourage our brothers and sisters to participate in such organisations and wait until their turn come , then decide to get married or not once you got the money.. for those whom already oriented their mind to get married of someone he/she loves, they should wait and in the same time look for a solution .. God with you all

How many girl reaches the age of 30 in gulf states, many I guess? Go to female schools and ask the question and you going to be surprised by the answer, this is fact too. A valid point that although the government does not allow citizens to get married expect form the Arabian Peninsula, with some exceptions, still the number of unmarried people is logarithmically increasing.. What might be the solution, shall we girls accept to be the wife number four, shall we boys get married of four if we can or at least two if it is possible with respecting their rights and doing your duty? Why not, this is the best solution and we should all accept it, otherwise why still we call ourselves Muslims. God allow that in his Holly Book, why should we reject it…?

(Even the girl can't talk with her father and asking him to accept the marriage, she will be so rude): It is not necessary to talk to your father, you can talk to your mother, sister or brother.. If you feel shy, and you should be, ask your sister or brother to fight for your right, silence is death ..

WHO WE ARE, BOYS AND GIRLS? The problem concerns us, either it concerns me or my brother or friend or the person who asking my sister’ s hand, we sufficiently understood the circumstances that we are going through, but do you now what shall we do… Tell your father today, that your sister getting old and she still unmarried, why? Tell your mother, why my father insist to ask high dowry for my sister, is he right and if not why not convince him by that? Tell your brother who have only one wife and keep the money in the bank, why not get married of my friend who is immaculate, moral, worthy, charm and beauty girl? Tell your sister, why do not accept to be a second a wife for my friend who is good boy? Tell yourself, why we do not look for bride or bridegroom for ourselves or our sisters or brothers, have you forget what UMAR BIN AL-KHATTAB (RAA) did for his daughter? Hopefully, this status will be over soon in Sha Allah as we all wish and if not we have to wait the new father and mother generation, which is you.

Hopefully, the coming days going to convey better rewards as a fanciful encounter you have long been dreaming of falls right into your front. This period could be a beneficial time for many of you and you would be aware that you have reached a major turning point in your life when you are in my position. Guess to what I am trying to draw your focus (*_^). (May Allah help all girls and boys in getting married in all Islamic World, Ameen).

Arab princess:
Ops, I apologize, by the way I am new here and I am still not familiar with all members.

Life:
First you are more than well come in our Sabla, this time I guess you are male (if am not wrong); I like your opinion but still didn’t get the position you are in. ???
I agree with you in saying those fathers trying to sell their daughters but they are ignoring the dangerous situation they may face, also I agree with more than wife, this problem will solve the girls problem but also that will be limited for the rich guys only who have money to afford the next or the third, but what about the poor guys who couldn’t afford the first marriage, they still suffer, how the community will resolve this problem, do they want them to walk in a wrong path by having a girl friends that will cause a big problem in the society.
I just want to say to all guys here, one day you will be a father please do not forget the hard situation that you went through, please make it easy for the next generation.

Xman: I wish you got mare pain relief by reading your friends opinions.

May Allah help all of us…. Ameen

hedaya

As’Salam Alikum

Hedaya, thanks for the encouragement to be continuously on the line and I do appreciate that. Regarding your guess, this is not the point as it will not matter if am male or female and as I believe the SABLA is a point of intersecting opinions and ideas. Therefore, it will be far better if we are going to generalise topics rather than specialise them to certain rank of people.. [But still didn’t get the position you are in. ???] sorry, it was a different topic: ( I want to write and participate but I have no time because I have tough exams in the coming three weeks and so I may disappear until that time - this is my situation). I meant to motivate others to participate either replying on the issue or trying solve the puzzle!

Marriage:

Different people means usually different points of view and so I hope that our brothers and sisters who are reading this section going to shear their conceptions rather than just reading and they should keep this in mind:

WHATEVER YOU SPEND (IN ALLAH’S CAUSE), HE WILL REPLACE IT. AND HE IS THE BEST PROVIDER. (AL-QURAN 34:39)

Is it possible to conclude that most of the current father generation are using the past circumstances as future guide? Is the recent father and mother generation qualified to take decisions concerning the Islamic Nation rather than just individual families as many might believe? What could we do as a youth, educated brains and what shall we do as victims? Can the government take effectual, beneficial action to minimise the subsequent impacts [ UAE Experimentation]? ….

So, only rich people going to get married of more than one wife as the poor one can not get even one? It is a critical issue, seems to be and there is no solution from what shown so far? However, if we going to work hard to convince our fathers that the dowry should be low according to the current circumstances and lead them to the tarmac road, it will end peacefully.. Is it possible that I get married of my friend’s sister and he get married of my sister and we make deal that the dowry should be small according to our capability?.. Is it applicable to get married by instalments (monthly payment) without insulting considerations..? Is possible to get loans from your rich friends to get married and later on return the money back as instalments [ if you have]?….

God create diseases and their medicines, problems and their solutions… and so there should be a solution for this issue and if we going to work together we might come across it, anyone have a better idea?

At the end, may Allah please and delight you all not only in this life but in the hereafter too...


[Edited by life on 04-03-2001 at 01:36 AM]

Alsalam alykom,

Life, I really encourage you and all my brothers and sisters to participate in sabla, what I see is maybe 50 people or less who write continuously but where is the other 500??, they may prefer to read the articles rather than writing, if the language is the issue, I have this problem and still do not think my English is good enough to post an articles, but i don't care since english is not my first language, its not a problem we are here not trying to correct others mistake what we are interested more in hearing every body ideas.

About the gender issue, I totally agree with you, it does not matter at all; I’m not interested in knowing that as much as hearing you and other people opinion.

But at this moment do not bother your self in writing , because of the exam that you have after 3 weeks but later on we would like to see you here :)

May Allah help you in passing that exam.

hedaya.

We are Omanies really poor guys , We born with loans, grow up with loans, study with loans, get married with loans, buy car on loan, buy a house on loan, and .........., finally we die and still we have loans so our children stay on the loan.

When this is going to change. :( .

Actually the main problem in Oman .. Is that people want to have more than they actually have .. meaning .. why do u need to take loans ?? why use 7aram money ( Riba )??? if u want to buy a car .. buy a car that match your living standard .. something that you can afford ..
I know alot of people will appose me for saying so .. but I strongly beleive that you can live with watever you have if you really want to live with it ..
a small example happens when you are abroad .. all students get the same amount of money .. some get broke in the first week ..and others finish the month with extra money .. it all depends how you plan your bidget and how you manage your life ..

Salam Allah Alikum

I agree to what have been written above to certain extend, but ..? Is the problem in Oman only? Isn’t nature that human beings look always to the bright future? Isn’t human’s right to have what other do? Is it fair, that some spoil money here and there, while other can not offer a drink for themselves as they prefer to keep that for their children? Is it possible to live with what you have under all circumstance? Read the following story and you can judge later on, keep in mind that this story I have made to justify an obvious truth …

A family consists of six souls that are the parents and four kids. The father working in the Municipality for more than 12 years but still his salary below RO 120 and most of his chills are below the age of fifteen, all in schools and he is a well known poor man. Thanks God, he has an old house, at least he has a home (no matter if it is built by cement or marl/clay). Now lets take the theory, which says spend according to your salary….

They have no conditioner (AC), to save electricity as it is expensive in Oman although it is an oil and gas productive country. They have no car, it needs petrol or diesel and that is still very expensive compare to the rest of the gulf states and it needs a regular maintenance plus they prefer walking as an old example says Good Brain in the Good Body. They have no gas cooker, never use super al jameel, no nedoo … They go to tailors once per year to design one dishdasha or dress… Is this the life, you are talking about … while other throw the kabab and kuftah in the garbage?

No, this is not the case, you got me wrong … let me explain what I meant: The one in Oman, once he/she bought a A8 car, he/she thinks it was the wrong choice and so he/she must have Z10 and so on…. They will never satisfy by anything… In the meaning of what His Prophet said: [If a human has been given a river of gold, he will ask for extra one, nothing fulfils his demands except sands]?

Frankly, the problem is the whole Omani society, because if you a teacher and you have an old car, they will never stop talking about you and you will get headache from what they telling you { you are tight and what are you doing with the fife hundreds you got, keep them in bank for what ..etc.} you can not live alone and you could not [often] do what you believe… We have first to teach the recent generation how to live the real circumstances and we have to explain what is the difference between What should be [ dreams - bright future] and what is the fact [ actual life - complexity] ..

If is a real muslim environment, they will be no reason to dreams above the limit of the possibility and there might be no poor people who are suffering 100 times in the single seconds. Regarding rich people, it is better for them to donate by a small percentage of the millions kept in banks, either in the country or abroad, before the Easter day, when God will pustule their faces by what they stored….


Riba or illegal money … who would like to have it, I doubt there is anyone? They have loans because there was no choice left for them, all the doors closed at their faces, they wait the sky to rain gold and it did not? We are not talking about cars or silly stuff, loans for basic things that we really need and we have to have .. A man asked to get married of his cousin who lives next door to him [two houses with a short wall in between] and his uncle asked for nine thousands as a dowry? If you love someone, you have to challenge and fight for your beloved otherwise you are not a human…[ This is not my experience but it is fact…]

The truth .. we could live without loans .. but .. do not ask me why I am not interesting to get married .. do not ask me why I have a model 90 car .. why I am away from the civilisation .. away from the vast technology .. away from your words .. away from SABLAH…

Regards abroad: what you are saying is the absolute fact but do you know how much it cost those whom safe money at the end of the month .. you may say nothing, and you are right again as they are full time students .. have no right to have fun ..

At the end, it is a point of view as Khamis bin Nasser always says .. However, this one is not my view but my father’s one, although I changed meanly every single letter he said to make things spicy little bit for more fun and so do not get me wrong….

Hope you the best of the best in this fleeting life.. with my own best wishes to you all

Alsalam Alykom:

To life,
Your post always make me feel sad, i really can't imagine how some people live such a difficult life, we are living in a city but we always forgot how our brothers and sister suffer there, i don't know really what to say, but if there is any possibile to help those people by a donation we would do, or why we are here, writing and listening to each other if we couldn't even help each other.

May Allah help all Muslim in need…Ameen :(

hedaya

Aslam Aleekum allz ..
The problems Listed above Aggsist .. Yes I agree , but It isnt the situation 100%, there are always , People who are
getting what they want , which - here - is solving the problems Listed .. I believe that if it didnt work one way you always try harder ,one way or another it shall work , nothing is impossible !
about Jobs .. Look harder ! you cant just blame the Goverment XMAN for you or any other citizen for getting a Job !
Remebering we have More graduates , and the popluLation is arising , plus How was Oman compred with European countries!
where is the point of Comparion that would seem Fair ! To Compare any Two things , they should have the Same Facilities in owr Case ! I must Add that Many omani Graduates Got Good Jobe's ! It will Click in your mind that
Vitamin w ( wasta) but Forget about that and Look for a Job the best you can , Dont wait For it to Come on a Golden Plate to your Home !!!!! thats a thought that should be changed! yes Life is Tough and gets Tougher at times and
we should try make a way to pass through that RoughneSs ! Do not Complain Too much !
About Merrige Expencies Problems ! thats a Major Problem I agree , and I think its not Like that with all Families ! I witneSsed many Merriges which are Simple and beautiFully IsLamic , Meaning .. No too Much of no needS! and I agree with Arb PrinceSs that there is always away to get what you want .. NICLEY .. and ,Familys after familys will start changing to a better way of thinking . and Inshallah this
Problem will be Over , Just Start .. and Take the First Step Now Good Luck may Allah Guid Each Of your Steps !