This is spin-off as X-Press suggested from the 'Can love come from sex?' Thread:

"In this day of double standards where men can roam freely and be sexually promiscous with very little trouble in arab/muslim society and where women are still shunned or even worse if found to be in extra-maretal affairs" the question stands:

Are we sending a sign to females that with each generation girls have to be better liars ... to their family to their best friends of the they relationships they pursue with boys?"

i think there's a topic in General Discussion which circles around this very same issue and it was decided that both men and women lie. basically "People" lie in general . and anyways.. one's upbringing has a huge effect on how he/she is gonna turn out.

lies wont get anyone anywhere..and even if they do get a person somewhere ..then its usually temporary. one should just be straight ..from the start.

Lying...
I think it becomes a necessary thing in one's life if it is concerned with saitsfying pleasure and desire...a girl wouldnt go and tell her mum "mammy i was with a boy today..he says he loves me.."..**** girl...so it becomes the other contribution to generate lies..that's fearness..

It obviously appear that a major thing in being familiar with lying will depend on with who a particulat person walk and talk such as friends...

As our society is very conservative (though not in every city now), I think this is another contribution that adds to the creation of lies...both reputation and honour are very valuable for a particular family that can be broken by one of its members if done something against the society and its culture and customs.

Originally posted by ReVeLuTiOnAl^
Lying...
I think it becomes a necessary thing in one's life if it is concerned with saitsfying pleasure and desire...a girl wouldnt go and tell her mum "mammy i was with a boy today..he says he loves me.."..**** girl...so it becomes the other contribution to generate lies..that's fearness..


But why lie? If she does do it why is it hidden from the women who carried her for 9 month? Or the father that puts food on the table and clothe on her back?

Why can't women in this society grow tired of lying ... and having to lie to their loved ones ... why do they have to be so deceptive to all involved ... we are breeding a generation of perfect liars ... at least when i date a western girl i know she has no fear of sharing all her rights and wrong ... where I know for a fact ... that every Omani girl has 'never been touched' (which can't be true cause alot of Omani boys are getting lots of action ... )

we all do lie sometime in our life, so as to not get into trouble, or into sin... (although sin is between allah and you, not your parents and you)...

i thinkt hat us muslims would lie for such issues coz it is
first wrong to have a relationship with the opposite sex before marriage...
second, it would be a disaster if our parents knew about it,
thirdly, is the whole family knew about it, there is no stopping it...

as for:
... at least when i date a western girl i know she has no fear of sharing all her rights and wrong ...

what would be considered wrong for them??? i dont know about the girl and her god, but if the parents are kewl with it, then no one will make a big deal out of it...

if this happened in Oman, or any Arab country, the girl might be disowned, the family put into shame and she might not find a husband... since us men would fool around, day in and day out, but in the end say "i would like my wife to be a desent girl who doesnt play around" which makes no sence...

going to the title of your topic:
Double Standards: Why Women Have To Lie In Our Society
men wouldnt mind telling his friends that he screwed this girl and that... plus he would feel pride in ppl talking about him... but a girl would feel offended if someone spoke about her or knew that she slept with a guy...

good topic Orion, but the conclution is very vage... :lost:

Orion:
But why lie? If she does do it why is it hidden from the women who carried her for 9 month? Or the father that puts food on the table and clothe on her back?

Once we are in this world...only a small number of us remember that our mums kept us in their stomach for up to 9 months..not everyone does so.. unless a girl tries a pregnancy once, she'd then realise how hard it is for her mum when she was in her stomach!...


Why can't women in this society grow tired of lying
Cus lying became an essential part in our lives (at least for the majority!)...yet we still have some good people who realise the value of being honest and still can learn from past mistakes.! As I mentioned earlier..the society plays a major role in being liars..customs and conservitevness are crucial to maintain without breakin them!.

where I know for a fact ... that every Omani girl has 'never been touched' (which can't be true cause alot of Omani boys are getting lots of action ... )
Emm... gosh!.. can say nothing...but u may be talking from experience...:color:


we all do lie sometime in our life, so as to not get into trouble, or into sin
Yes..true..but lying in itself is a sin...so why do we lie when we realise that we are committing a sin?.. shouldnt we think before we lie about the nature of lie and its circumstances?,,, cant was call this double-standard "we know it's a lie and we know we commit a sin if we lie..but we do lie!"


second, it would be a disaster if our parents knew about it,
I agree with you..but again..we are afraid from our families..but not from our God!...

every typical Omani man should ask himself why would they judge a girl if she commited the same sin he commited!!

I am sure that every typical Omani man would litrilly kill his sister if he knew she went out with a guy, while he is happily dating this girl and that girl!

I am aginst the idea of "dating" in the first place, but I wouldnt blame the girl when she lie if she was hurted if she said the truth!

we shouldnt make it "ok" for her to say the truth, we should make it more difficult for everyone to commit this deadly sin!
the problem is within the mentality of men before its within the tounge of our ladies! until men stop thinking its ok for them to date, and thier sisters to not, women will continue doing eveything under cover!

http://thumb-3a.image.altavista.com/image/1683686896 http://thumb-1a.image.altavista.com/image/58797759 http://thumb-2a.image.altavista.com/image/138142494 http://thumb-3a.image.altavista.com/image/1683764128

Orion, I don't think the problem, if there is one, only exists in Oman or in the muslim world. Not every western family agrees to know openly their daughters affairs or relationships.

For exemple, in the environment I grew up, which was not islamicly influenced, there was no way we would dare tell our mother or our father that we are involved in a relationship where marriage is not the goal.

As time passes and society changes, people tend to go with the flow and forget about what is right and what is wrong. Girls are secretly dating someone who will probably never be their husbands and vice-versa.

They have to be secretive about it as their parents will never accept this idea of dating for the sake of it and they can 'dishonnour' their daughters for that.
In other cases, like in some western families, they are secretive simply because they are shy about it and don't want to share it with their parents.

Now, going back to what you said Orion: "In this day of double standards where men can roam freely and be sexually promiscous with very little trouble....Are we sending a sign to females that with each generation girls have to be better liars..."

One thing is certain, men can't be promiscous with men, they need women to do what they want. What needs to be changed is the men's mentality and for them to understand that what is wrong for their sisters is wrong for the girl they are with...without forgetting the religious issue which doesn't allow them, as well as women, to be in post-marital or extra-marital relationships.

The reality is that such changes nowadays are impossible!

Originally posted by Arabian Princess

we shouldnt make it "ok" for her to say the truth, we should make it more difficult for everyone to commit this deadly sin!
the problem is within the mentality of men before its within the tounge of our ladies! until men stop thinking its ok for them to date, and thier sisters to not, women will continue doing eveything under cover!

Why is dating a deadly sin?