There's a friend of mine. Living far far away from our country.... Often complains about stuff & now, she is mostly depressed & It hurts to hear that...
Her prob. is that she does not have enough freedom. Parents always yearning her to stay at home, not hanging around with friends alot and more....blah blah...!
What do u think she can do & In your points of veiw please, what is the limit of freedom that parents should allow to their sweet kids :) ?????????????????????????????????

Cheers

Your friend can only be advised about how she isn't the only girl to have these kinds of probs. with her parents and that it will hopefully pass as she gets older. If she is already old and still not being given her freedom to meet her friends, then she should be able to sit with her family and discuss why they are over careful, and what she can do to help them understand her situation and how she needs her space and what she will do to reassure them that she will respect their needs. She should demonstrate patience and maturity with them.

Don't tighten your hands so tight to your neck, or don't loosen it so loose you would stay regretting it not knowing what to do!


What does she want with freedom? staying out late at night? hanging out with friend in wrong places? how "tight" are her parents holding her at the moment?

I am very shocked about what i read or hear concerning freedom for girls.. am not being a sexist or anything but in my point of view, a girl is a girl no matter what.. in the old days (when islam was taken into consideration), a girl would never ask about something called FREEDOM.. what kind of freedom would a girl want?? does she want to be allowed to go to night clubs?? walk around in the shopping malls just to be seen by guys?? hang out with friends until late into the night doing God knows what?? speak to guys on the phone and be allowed to go out with them?? is that what freedom is about?? HELLOOOO.. there's something called islam.. and after islam there's something called a girl's honor and pride.. shame on her.. a girl who wants frredom.. girls were brought to this world to be mothers and be there for their husbands when they need them.. a girl's place is her house with her family or her husband.. and thats what the islam says.. GIRLS.. STOP ASKING FOR FREEDOM!! it's not something u will benefit from.. u will be happy on earth, but u will burn in hell!!

Jadgalia, sorry I couldn’t find out your gender but I would like to well come you in our sabla.

What did you say is exactly my idea, and that’s true, girls should stay at home until future husband come and take her from her parent’s house, this is the role, I like that idea and that how we raised in our family, from home to school and vice versa, that does not mean they don’t trust us, but parents have to protect us, because girl is so sensitive, weak, emotional, it's easy to destroy her physically or emotionally, that why parents fell they should take care of her, furthermore parents have to educate their girls about their policy and I’m sure she could understand, especially if she hear some horrible stories from her friends about other girls who didn't follow their parents role, at that moment she can fully understand why her parents do that.

May Allah protect all Muslim girls in this world…Ameen.

hedaya.

I understand what hedaya and jadgaliya said .. I do agree to soem extent on what they say .. but remmber .. we are talking about adolcent girls ( fe sin al murahaqa ) and if we just said ( from school to home ) as they prposed they will try to find other ways to explore the world ..
girls shouldn't go out alone .. I support that but that does not mean we should lock them in home .. we should explain to them why is this soloution taken and make them understand ( but will they understand ?)
then what is the soloution ?
why not every father and mother be a friend of thier kid .. then they will know how they think and can easily control all thier behaviour ..
they can take teh girls out with teh mother and father and with thier friends .. for example .. the mother takes teh girl friends out one day to a park or something .. this way the mother can watch the girl and at the same time make her spend some quality time with her friends ..
make the girl understand all the consequences of having freedom and make her chose to give it up .. I know alot of girls who were give all teh freedom but because they were brought up carefully they managed to pass that time with no any problems ..
Islam did not take freedom from women .. but in fact it gave her freedom but in the right way .. women used to work and shop but because they had respected all the Isalm rules nothing happened to them !!!

U GO WOMEN !!!! ;)

One day, I've heard this note on one of the westernised TV which says 'the women when they started asking for their freedom they lost it'.

Hedaya arprinces and jadalyia u r all in the same track .

Freedom can be used wrongly if we don't apply our fundemataly islamic topics on it . It is not hard to apply it but we need to understand it fast.

In my opinion islam have gave women rights more then men, and islam have protected them more .

Just imagane this, if u have a supermarket , sports shop and jewllery shop which one of it u will put more security on it OFCOURSE the jewellery shop. In Islam women are more valued and honoured than ajewllery.

We have to be very careful when talk about fredom and why know our mothers grand mothers and great grand mothers were great and they acted as real muslims with the freedom they needed and wanted.



Regards

TimourLand

Hello all, and thank u arabprncss for ur positive comments...i think i'm more onto your side of the scales rather than jekyl & hyde ;)
just kidding

I myself am not a great supporter of the word "freedom". Define the word 1st. What u said jagaliya is a bit too extreme. U made it sound like women don't even have the right to protest. That freedom is ok for men (even if wrong!) but u deeply stressed on how bad it is for a woman.
Yes, there is such thing as islam for women. I call it "islam freedom".
Islam gave u the right to speak up for yourself even if you r on the wrong side of the road. What Muslim women need today are ppl with soft tongues. U are only pushing them further away from religon by saying "u women...u u u"

Everytime i attend an islamic lecture or read a book, many of these new shuyoo'7 have no "seyasa" in the way they talk, and they keep skipping the issues and start blaming the women for the problems in society ! You don't call a stray cat by scaring them, but by introducing the nice things. Moob lazim usloob el tarheeb. After all, el islamm deen el tar'3eeb over anything.

Wu ba3deen, yes, a woman is supposed to tend to her family and her home, but is that it?
U make her sound like she can't think further than her doorstep?
THe mothers of islam were not only mothers, but teachers, warriors and educators. The woman's place is her home. But what is home? the 4 walls?
its more than that. Its her community. Tara ma galoolkum niwaat el mujtama3 bibalaash !

I think the freedom we are talking about here is trust. To a certain degree. Parents should give their children the knowledge, then giv em a bit of trust. I'm telling u, it takes u a long long way.

A westerner once asked a friend of mine, why do u muslim ladies wear the scarf. She simply said:

" u c, if u had a beautiful & rare flower, would u let everyone smell it?"

ofcourse not !

"well, that's a woman in Islam. Precious"

I find it very bad when ppl use forceful talk or accusing language. We might be agreeing on the same points, but the style of speech could make it sound insulting that a person might get defensive.
anyways, thank u all for sharing the discussion...i hope we get to a positive progress.

....before you rushed into hard comments why didn't you
ask how old is this girl and have a better image about her situation.

I think it would help.

Its the WWW, and what u see is what u get. So basically, one can only protest by what is given to on the plate. thats where i base my discussion on.

The age might matter, perhaps yes. But then the topic is not only talking about this girl, but it goes beyoind that to genralise it to other ppl. So really...its not specially referred to this teenage girl. At least i don't see it that way.

Anyways, thank u for your comments nizwani.
keep em rollin ppl...

Its not just in WWW where we should judge in what we have been given but also in real life. However, it has to be said, its better to ask for more details if we didn't quite get the full picture rather than making avoidable mistakes. Yes, such topic is a common problem but we have to know that individuals could have different circumstances. The topic is in “share personal problems” and I felt there was a direct attack on this particular girl by one or two participants.

The bottom line, don’t get me wrong because I am not attacking here but trying my best to improve Sablah just as everybody else:)

Thank you

"I felt there was a direct attack on this particular girl by one or two participants".

No one here attacked any body, we here as friends and as brothers & sisters.

please guys don't take subjects in sensitive way.

May Allah help us in being one hand.

hedaya

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!

AWAIN!!! WHAT DO U MEAN BY "GURLS WERE MADE TO BE "MOTHERS" AND OBEY THERE "HUSBAND"!! SHU '7ADAAMEENKUM?? OK....SA7 MAKTOOB FEL QURAAN......BUT IT DOES'NT MEAN WE DON'T HAVE RIGHTS!
3AD MA MA9A'7A! HELLO WE'RE IN 2001 NOT 3A9R EL JAHELIA!
AND BY FREEDOM I DON'T THINK MASKERY...MEANT IT IN A BAD WAY.....HE/SHE MEANT (I THINK) THAT THE GURL WANTS TO GO OUT WITH FRIENDS...SHU YA3NI WHENEVER A GURL GOES OUT YA3NI SHE'S DOING SOMETHING WRONG?
aHa....
Row!
yalla 7ayakum!

<b>To hedaya,,,</b>
As I said previously <b>“The bottom line, don’t get me wrong because I am not attacking here but trying my best to improve Sablah just as everybody else”</b>

<b>To WaTever,,,</b>
I would like to welcome you with us, and since you are a new member here are some suggestions for you.

<li>Everybody has his/her own views so try to bear that in mind.
<li>Some people might find it difficult to read Arabic using English letters therefore its better to write in English, the same is applied for using upper case letters (capital).

<li>When you direct things to a particular member its advisable to start with “To member‘s name”.

Thanks.

To watever:
First i would like to well come you in our sabla, and i wish you enjoyed it, inshalla.

Second what bothers you in "GURLS WERE MADE TO BE "MOTHERS"
Yes we made to be mother, what’s wrong with that, can you let a male to be pregnant, show me how?

AND OBEY THERE "HUSBAND"!!
Yes you should obey our husbands, it's not by your choice, but you have to, and if you didn't you won't smell the heaven, can you believe that, this is the role, not in jahelleha but in Islam.

SHU '7ADAAMEENKUM??
No you are not Khadama, and no one say that, you are more than that, you are wife, and you have many rights your husband obligate to do it.

OK....SA7 MAKTOOB FEL QURAAN......BUT IT DOES'NT MEAN WE DON'T HAVE RIGHTS.
I would suggest you to go back and read the Politic and religion forum, the thread called Women Right’s in Islam, you will learn a lot of women rights.

May Allah direct our women to the right path.

hedaya

what can i say ya jama3a, just "wallah Looooooooool"

thanks...made my day...its funny how things r translated from the head to the hand and onto the keyboard. That was a reference by the way to the new member's comments. sorry can't remember the nick (too lazy to go BACK).

and nzwani, ofcourse ofcourse...u know i always like to agree on agreeing :D

A million thanks for contributing here...sorry it has taken me long..I do agree with all ur comments.. but lemme make one thing clear over here.... since everyone just started jmping to conclusions :) The freedom I meant here was not the going out to a bar freedom and having a ciggarette with abuncha guyz ..:p It's going out with FRIENDS!! and NOT for bad purposes. ;) hope this'll make it better for the rest.... once again thanx...
Take Care Guyz... & waiting for more replies.....

I_Meskary,

Before I reply to you, May I ask you what freedom mean for you??!!

We are happy to have you as a new member, just keep active
and let us benefit from your knowledge.

By they, read the post just before yours to find out what I_Maskery meant by the Freedom.

is it dangerous to let a teenager going out with his/her friends??
i think no,parents just have to check whether the friend have a good behaivour or not,in odrder to protect the teens from any bad influences.
they will become fool if we oblige them to stay at home,this periode of their life is very complex,parents can't handel everything,if they give them a strong education,they could let them a litle bit of freedom,teens will feel in confidence and think that we treat them like adults,it's make them responsable,we can say to them" i give you freedom,but if i see that you are using it in a bad way ,i get it back"
the most important ,in my opinion, is to discuss with the teen,to explain his point of view and to find a solution together.

Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters,
please alow me to exspress my point of view. Islam has granted "freedom" for women, more than any religion, consitution or organization. If we look back at how women were treated before Islam was revealed, we'll certainly appreciate the freedom Islam has given us. First, Islam has freed us from being inherited, rather, it gave us THE RIGHT TO INHERIT...isn't that great? Second, women in the Jahiliyya (and in the so-called modern societies)were no more than sex objects that men used to satisfy their needs. Islam dignified women by asking both men and women to dress modestly and to lower their gaze. What about Christians?? what do they think of women? Lets see: Eve was the one who persuaded Adam, peace be upon him,to eat from the tree. Therefor, it is she who has to bare the pain of labor and it is she who has to ache and bleed monthly! What has Islam got to say about this issue? Islam states that Adam and Eve were equally wrong and thus both had to suffer the consequences of their sin. Allah then accepted their repentance and bestowed His Mercy upon them.
Islam has given women many many rights that we take for granted. Unfortunately many ppl in the eastern world misuderstand this issue, escpecially in the Gulf.
True that Islam has granted women freedom, but there are certain limits to this freedom. For example, I wouldn't call a girl walking in the streets with out hijab a kind of freedom.
To be continued....

I agree with ur point of view.

okay.. i understand a few of u got offended by my reply at the start of the topic.. sorry about that.. but i didnt mean to offend any female.. i was just putting my point of view through to the crowd.. anywayz.. nowadays if u look at the girls walking around oman and any other islamic country u will see y i replied very harshly.. it really upsets me very very much when i see my fellow muslim sisters walking around showing off all thri beauty and the glamour God has given them.. wallah 3aib.. a girl's beauty is not to be advertised and shown off.. it is her whole being.. it is what makes her unique.. she should think about how she should cover up and not attract a lot of attention.. but that's not what is happening nowadays.. in fact.. the exact opposite is happening.. i am not generalising.. there are many girls who mashallah 3alaihum are good and very well-mannered.. but look around u nowadays.. go to ccc and araimi's parking lots on a wednesday or thursday and sit in ur car on a side.. and count the number of females that go there just to look or be looked at by guys.. they drive the most attractive cars, they make sure a whole container of foundation is covering their face, they make sure their perfume is smellable (if there's such a word :P) by everyone, and they increase the volume in their car to the MAXIMUM possible limit and drive around flashing their smiles at guys.. is that how muslim girls are brought up?? is that a muslim girl's manners?? look what happens when girls get their freedom.. THESE type of girls discourage parents from giving their daughters something called freedom..
i also want to congratulate those girls who know how to hold themselves and dont go around making fools of them selves..

Don't be sorry sis, I really admire the way you think and express your feelings..I do agree with you and god help us to be better muslims enshallah..

Nzwani,
You know something? I'm really getting scared of your comments..You are so hard on ppl..come on, be saree7 but you need to know that we aren't at the same level here..So just take it easy on new members..3ashan y7book ya'7y.. hmm what's wrong with writing in arabic using english letters? I thought everyone knows that way!!

Freedom Freedom Freedom, Allah yestor bas