Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

:) ..... cool :cool:

A State Slogan:

Idaho

More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good.

I hope I die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming like his passengers.

A State Slogan

New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...

Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?"

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted.

A man and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.

The man answers, "Hello? How the heck do I know? I'm not a weatherman!"

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

Teacher: "Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son."

Father: "What's that?"

Teacher: "With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating."

I hope I die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming like his passengers.

now this what i call classic :D

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interesting slogans keep them up..:)

Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?

Because they dribble all over the court!

You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor had to put you in a bucket of water to see which end of you would breathe!

Originally posted by Charmed
You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor had to put you in a bucket of water to see which end of you would breathe!


that's kind of mean! :eek:

Another Word Women Use:

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

Another Word Women Use:

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

Another Word Women Use:

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble

Another Word Women Use:

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Another Word Women Use:

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they never get the house!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

I see your IQ test results were negative.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.