http://thumb-3a.image.altavista.com/image/218590646

Dear Members,

I want to do something different in the Problems Sabla and would appreciate your paticipation.

I am going to present in different threads, like this one, real problems exposed by real individuals outside this forum who are seeking help or a solution.

I would like you to give your opinion first, and at the end, I will post what was the "doctor" 's reply.

Let's see if you are or not a good advisor :)

Dear Members and Doc Love,

There's something that has always puzzled me about the opposite sex: Why do women who are happy and deeply in love with their partners stir things up and start arguments for no rational reason?

I think you know what I'm talking about. It's that thing they do where everything is hunky dorey and suddenly, out of left field, they come up with some confrontational conversation that starts off with words like; "Honey, why don't you ever...?" or "You always..." or "Why can't you...?"

Is there something built into the female psyche that compels women to push, test and challenge their men? Why do women unnecessarily and irrationally create conflict, even when they're in happy, otherwise successful relationships?

I'm very interested in hearing any thoughts you have on this topic, Doc.

Bennet -- who wants a deeper understand

wonderful X-press :)

am not good in solving such problems but will give it a try..

I THINK that the main reason is that women tend to get more care and warmth from their partners.. and via argueing they THINK they get what they seek..

another reason might be -- >> women go through some biological changes and coz of this they suffer from depression and tend to be AGGRESSIVE sometimes..

I'll think abt it and will come back and add to this :)

again it's a wonderful thread :color:

Yes I agree that women tend to test men so often.
It is mainly because women need to be loved .. they seek for it .. like most women tell thier husbands: why dont you love me .. it would be because they want to hear the word: I love You..

Once I went to a lecture of this great family consultant and he mentioned that women do test thier men ,, and the man has to understand that and pass the test :)

Originally posted by Arabian Princess
women do test thier men ,, and the man has to understand that and pass the test :)

:duh: ...i dont think its fair that women do that!! men are not lab mice to place their experiments and tests on !

its not a lab thing .. its just women need to feel wanted .. and when they test thier men .. they proove it to themselves .. its a psychological thing ..
its like when men love to eel that thier women depend on them !

i do agree that women test men fecuentlly, and its not only from loved ones, but also friends...

i get tested daily... sometimes i know that i am tested, other times i get trapped into it...

its funny...

anothing point is security... girls likes to be secured in a relationship...

what triggers this, i think are the girls emotions... mostly during that week of the month...

Originally posted by X-press
Dear Members and Doc Love,

There's something that has always puzzled me about the opposite sex: Why do women who are happy and deeply in love with their partners stir things up and start arguments for no rational reason?



Is there something built into the female psyche that compels women to push, test and challenge their men? Why do women unnecessarily and irrationally create conflict, even when they're in happy, otherwise successful relationships?




What evidence do you have that this happens in 'happy otherwise successful relationships'?

Don't you think that logic would have it that there must be some deeper issues when a woman is compelled to do such a thing...I mean to question the relationship?

I simply cannot accept that women just provoke trouble off the cuff for no good (valid) reason... even if the issue is her insecurity, this often stems from other issues, whether directly related to the relationship or indirectly (such as childhood experiences/trauma etc).

My answer, therefore, is to look deeper, and try to unpack the CAUSE for such questioning.

drama
women love drama.
we men take all our inner anger by playing sports, video games, action movies etc. but women have to creat drama to let that inner anger out.

Speak for yourself mate.

Ok, so some women are dramatic. What a boring existence it would be if all was smooth-sailing. Drama is good for the soul.:p

Originally posted by raffee
Speak for yourself mate.

Ok, so some women are dramatic. What a boring existence it would be if all was smooth-sailing. Drama is good for the soul.:p

some women!!!!!!! come on girl we're half way there. you've already admited the need for drama. you gotta admit the percentage now. some could mean 30% when reality is 99%. come on now say it.

There are some really dim-witted women out there I'm afraid. Dim-witted and boring. This usually accompanies subservience, passivity and lack of imagination/ambition.

So no, I won't say that all women are dramatic.

Sorry.:kewl:

ooh..definetely not all women like drama.....soo i would disagree with the claim of 99%......

as there are serious men..there are serious women.... which dont like building up drama..... straight to the point, end of story :)

but i would disagree with raffee, dim-witted women?... whats that....now boring i understand..... and its quite true such women do exist..but again... wouldnt a boring man go for a boring woman..:D soo with that they will be cool to live their boring life with no worries :rolleyes:

yeah there are women who have no time to act as if they are.......... :D:p

anyway, where are u X-press? what's the correct answer "that's if there IS a correct answer.. :rolleyes:

I have edited and shorten the final advise wich is the following:

Hi Bennet,

Men and women are different. A man, by nature, tends to look for comfort and consistency in his relationship.

A woman, on the other hand, tends to turn her primary relationship into a "Perpetual-Improvement Project." So, if there's nothing to work on or process, she's compelled to create something in order to continue work on her Project.

In essence, yes Bennet, I think that women do have an innate need to test and push their men. Why, exactly, must they do it? Ask 50 doctors and you'll get 50 different answers. But I say that one of the main reasons they push is to see if there's anything there to push up against.

They need to know that you have a backbone, that you'll set limits, that you'll stand up for yourself. It makes them feel safe when you won't take any crap. It somehow provides them with reassurance that you are strong enough and confident enough to fight back when you're provoked and that you're capable of protecting them from danger.

Trying to check a man's protective capabilities by starting arguments is not totally logical, but it is bio-logical. It's a drive that goes back to the days when the womenfolk huddled in the cave while the men fought off a pack of ravenous saber-toothed tigers.

A woman's actual physical survival was dependent on having a strong, brave male at her side who could hunt and kill dangerous animals, and protect her from hostile tribes. That survival-based drive for a provider/protector still motivates the modern female.

So, even if a woman has super high Interest Level in you and she is also a sweet, loving and giving person, it's not uncommon for her to continually 'test your metal' somehow. She'll always feel the need to dig and question, pry and push in subtle or overt ways. Why? Because she's a female.

Remember guys; the man who passes the test is the man who won't be tested.

In conclusion, floret was the closest to get the right reply along with Arby. :)

I will post the sources of such a thread at the end of the "Members tests", as I wouldn't want anyone to visit the site and get the answer from there ;)