Friends im not sure is because of the weather ,foods because when the boys turn 18 years old above they are problems start increasing why? please ineed help.

First, welcome sambu to the englishsabla!:)

I understand that you feel that, as a boy grows older and reach 18 years old or more, he faces more problems.

In order for us to help you, maybe you can tell which problems exactly you have in mind? Are they psychological, financial, social, personal, familial...?.

Give us more details.

E-press thanks very much.well the problem is when my boy was under that age he was good and when i talk to him or tell to do something like helping some job in home he will do , but once he turn 18 years above i get difficulty with him,idont no allso he start hearting me,its realy very sad to me.
im very sory my english is not good,but what i need is help thanks alot

Erm it's not because of the weather or the food... :)

I suppose once he reaches 18 he feels like he is an adult, old enought to make his own decisions and doesn't need anyone to tell him what to do.

It happens everywhere, everyday sambu. All teens get like this once they reach a certain age. They just are fed up of being told what to do and want to get out there and do it on their own, without having mommy or daddy questioning their every move.

Why don't you set him down for a little talk? Explain to him that you just want to help him, not control him. Try to do it in a quiet, unblaming way. Tell him he may be 18, but no matter how old he is he will always be your son and you will always love and care about him and want what's best for him.

Let him open up to you too, ask him to explain why he is like this with you. If he's upset about something try to get him to talk about it.

Remember you have to do this in a way to which he feels like you are his friend and not his 'controler' or 'over bearer' or even dad.

Also you might want to find out what kind of kids he's hanging out with, are they good? Bad kids? If they are bad and they act like your son is now acting, then that might be the reason. He could be influenced by them..

What about school? Is he happy? How are his grades? Try to find out, so you can pin point the problem.

Remember this is very common for a teen to act in this way, so don't get yourself all worried. Just do your best to help him and find a way to communicate with him.

ahh...19 ...seems like a long time ago..:)

the thing is ...from my own experience..:eek: ....once a guy reaches that age...he would like to consider himself...responsible.... (depends on the guy though), but in general... that would be his attitude...

So the best way to deal with him is to acknowledge...and let him know that you beleive that he is a responsible person and for sure..give him some responsibilities... not minor things..but real things...which could really count...

its time to treat him as a friend...but observe him as a father......beside all that....he needs his own space...and respect...the need of recognition is quite important...

overall....try to win him....and get closer to him. instead of drifting him away....this is such a critical time in his..life....he will have two roads to go ....he will have to make decisions about alot of things....he would need your support...but ...try to not enforce all this..:)

best of luck....:)

from an Ex - 19 year old :rolleyes:

19...more responciblities...college starts and that's stressful as well. u start to realise that there are more important things to life than partying all day long. u start thinking about ur future and where u'll be in 10 years time. many things which makes it a hard..but rather interesting age. plus it'll be you last year to be a teenager. ;)

just take it easy, go with the flow , trust your instincts , and dont let anyone put u down. :)

runnin'around gave a wanderful explainations and good advises. I also agree with her that at that age, and even at an earlier age like 16,17, teenagers change and want to feel independant.

They go through the stage in their life where they are tired to be told what to do and what not to do, and they think that they are grown-up enough to know the difference and make their own decision. However, whether true or not, they should still not forget to show respect to their parents.

Sambu, my advise is not to rebel against him, as at a long run it might make your relation worst. As runnin' around said, try to sit with him and ask him what is wrong and that you want to solve this situation. If you show calmeness and understanding, maybe he might open up and tell you what annoys him.

Often as a parent, we don't realize that our children are growing up and are becoming adults. We continue to treat them like small kids and this not because we want to hurt them, but because we don't see it and because we love them. Sometimes, we have to let the rope go a bit loose and give them some space.

Originally posted by sambu
....,idont no allso he start hearting me,its realy very sad to me.


sambu, when you say that your son starts to hurt you, I hope you mean emotionally and not physically. I suppose this situation breaks your heart, but you shouldn't allow your son to lay an hand on you no matter his age!