This topic stems from one significant issue I brought up in the Feminism thread.

The question is how would you feel if your brother decided to marry a divorced woman? What would be your immediate response and why?

Honesty is essential here, so if you feel you will only answer what you think people want to hear or what would be considered more commendable/noble, then simply don't respond. I want to know how you would REALLY feel and why.

It depends!
If she had no children then it would be easy for him and I will not have any negative resonse towards him marrying her, but if she had children then I will try to explain to him its not easy and he will have to take care of her and her children. If he is ready for the challange, then I wouldnt interfer and would be happy for him.

How would I feel if my brother is to wed a divorced woman..

Well, I have no objections on that at all..
on my part I feel like I am going to respect him more but depends on why that woman was divorced. If she was treated unfair by her ex hubby and she is a wonderful woman then I will encourage my bro to marry her if he needs it…

What is wrong with marrying a divorced woman? Unless if she wants to destroy my brother’s life, then I would be upset and against it, but if he insist on marrying her then I will have no choice but to support him.. After all he is my stupid brother..

Why I would so that is because.. if I am ready to get married to a divorced man who has kids then why should I have a negative response if my bro wants to marry a divorced wife?

Originally posted by Arabian Princess
It depends!
If she had no children then it would be easy for him and I will not have any negative resonse towards him marrying her, but if she had children then I will try to explain to him its not easy and he will have to take care of her and her children. If he is ready for the challange, then I wouldnt interfer and would be happy for him.

From your response I take it that it is not about any prejudice towards divorced women but about the practical difficulties in adjusting to an 'instant family'.

Am I right in saying so and are you certain there is no other reason why you would object?

Originally posted by selma

What is wrong with marrying a divorced woman? Unless if she wants to destroy my brother’s life, then I would be upset and against it, but if he insist on marrying her then I will have no choice but to support him.. After all he is my stupid brother..



What do you mean by her wanting to destroy your brother's life and how would you know that this is her intention?

definatly I dont have any other reason. A divorced woman is certainly like any other woman but it was her fate that she did not continue with her presious husband. I dont see anything wrong in him marrying her as long as he has the will to take care well of her kids because its a responsiblity especially if he was not married before.

I dont have a brother but anywayz...before I agree I want to know why her past marriage failed.
I dont see anything wrong with a divorced woman but if she had kids it might be a problem because my imaginary brother might not like them or vice versa which will screw up the marriage.

rafee do we need to define the word 'divorced' as to qualify it ? I am thinking in those women or men with a past multiple divorce.


is your question limited, to those with brothers, and female only or have i misunderstood your specifics for answering the question ?

In any case i'd ask and answer the following; what would be my decision to marry a divorced woman ? well, it depends on my relationship with her and the decision we take to face the challenge. Do I care if she is a multiple divorcee ? That bad luck i should say, but it depends on my marital ditective agent's result of findings of the enquiries in her past character which is then a hard decision to reach.


_______________________________

Do not ask what your country has done for you
But ask what have you done for your country


don't forget to test drive a : ' Peugeot, BMW or Lada '

I dont think you should investgate "why" did she get divorced. It might simply be something personal and people might just creat stories about it.

However, hear what she has to say and judge that accordingly.

everyone in this world deserves a second chance so is a divorced woman!!

DS, it was just posed as a hypothetical question. You neednt have a brother and it neednt be a woman who has divorced more than once.

It is just to know people's personal stance on marrying divorced women.

Hey there, before commenting just put yourself in that woman's shoe.

Anyhow, talking from personal experience I have no problem with it at all. My own younger brother is married to a woman with 6 kids from her previous marriage and they're 10+ years age gap.

Originally posted by raffee
What do you mean by her wanting to destroy your brother's life and how would you know that this is her intention?

if she is not a good woman or suitable for him then definately I would ask him to reconsider what he wants to do...

How would I know..

I would know on how she treats people around her.. The bottom line.. is if my bro is ok with her then I have no objection whatsoever even if the woman is good or bad..
he is the one who will be spending the rest of his life with..
i will be just visiting them if I am invited!

dont mind at all , and as i said b4 , everyone deserves a second chance. but...it would be nice to know the reasons behind the devorse, and whatever it turns out to be, i still wont have a problem with him marrying her. people change.

IF HE FEELS THAT SHE WILL FIT HIM AND THEY CAN COPE AND MANAGE WITH EACH OTHER AND IM SURE THAT SHE IS A SUITABLE WIFE FOR HIM THEN OFCOURSE I WONT DISAGREE.

There is nothing wrong with getting married to a divorced person what so ever ..

Well i have asked the same question to my friend and she gave me an honest answer.She said NO Way i wouldnt like :rolleyes: I asked her Y:lost: ? she said mmmmmmh Y should he go for a divorced lady and Y should he raise other man's kids when he could find a better girl:eek:

Well that was not my opinion as for me i have no problem at all but it is still depend on her, is she deserving him? Who knows may be this divorced lady blessed to have strong personality, confidence, kindness, caring ....u name it, which not every girl got

Well i have asked the same question to my friend and she gave me an honest answer.She said NO Way i wouldnt like :rolleyes: I asked her Y:lost: ? she said mmmmmmh Y should he go for a divorced lady and Y should he raise other man's kids :eek: I think most families here in Oman wouldnt prefer that.

Well that was not my opinion as for me i have no problem at all but it is still depend on her, is she deserving him? Who knows may be this divorced lady blessed to have strong personality, confidence, kindness, caring ....u name it, which not every girl got

Well first I'd have to check to see if she was one of my past girlfriends or ex- wives...and knowing my slim ball brother.....she would be...so I'd say Forget about it!!! Then whack him with a baseball so he'd take me seriously.....if she was in the clear........I'd whack him with the baseball bat......just for asking me a silly question.......Like I care who you marry?

cheers
fatak

I married a divorced woman. One with a child.
Instant family and "dad" responsibilities. I'm happy with my decision :)

Can't say I recommend it, though, if the child's father is still in the picture, as he will probably hate you for taking away his chances of re-marrying her - even if he wouldn't have wanted to remarry her anway. It's "a guy thing".

My brother eloped last week with a woman he worked with. Drove to romantic Lake Tahoe, Nevada, and proposed while driving there. They got married on a ski slope, apparently.

She wasn't a divorcee, though. She was a spinster - over 30 and never married with no children.

Don't worry, Raffee, no one will tell their brother not to marry you ;)

:rolleyes:

I don't see anything bad about the divorced woman.

Originally posted by Wanderer

Don't worry, Raffee, no one will tell their brother not to marry you

;) [/B]


Wandy

She is not thinking in those terms. She's just a sociologist, i suspect, and wants to weigh our silly ideas and that is all to it. She is sweet little thing, a married with kids herself. Why didn't you check it with me first before offering your remarks ? eih, eih why why ? You've embarrased her now and her hubby could lay you an ambush to kid-nap you for that. Slip of tongue I guess it was. 1of those things eih ?


______________________________

Do not ask what your country has done for you
But ask what have you done for your country


don't forget to test drive a : ' Peugeot, BMW or Lada '

Being divorce is nothing to be ashamed of first of all, especially in our community they look down onto a divorced lady. I agree with most of them here, the reasons for the divorce should be known, well at least if they are not too private and who cased the problems that led to divorce, sometimes they just don’t match and can’t live with one another.

The prophet Peace be upon him married divorced woman and also widows, what’s the big deal?

first of all.. is he looking for a divorced lady or he has already selcted her?!! if she is been selected then am sure he is responsible of his decision .. and the details of her divorce and having kids or not & what's so ever is between them only.. I will support him as long as she is a nice lady..

I totaly agree with some1 .. a divorced lady is allowed to marry anybody .. maybe she has less chances to choose yet there is nothing wrong with being divorced.. only our community makes it look like a big issue .. it's a life experience anyways..

Originally posted by Desert_Sloath
Wandy
You've embarrased her now ...


I hope not. It was a compliment - I hear she's lovely and only a fool would drop her for having been married before, if she's the one that is right for him.

There is a high chance this will happen to me. :rolleyes:

It's up to him who he wants to marry, none of my business....

But because I'm the older, protective sister I am I'd make sure she was worth it.......and make sure the other husband would be out of the picture ......and that the her kids are not terrors......

So in other words I'd freak out, bombard him with questions.....it'd take me awhile but if she was a great gal then I'd be the one supporting him in the end. :)

Running Around,

Won't she lose her children to her ex-husband if she remarries to your brother ?

Originally posted by Desert_Sloath
Wandy

She is not thinking in those terms. She's just a sociologist, i suspect, and wants to weigh our silly ideas and that is all to it. She is sweet little thing, a married with kids herself. Why didn't you check it with me first before offering your remarks ? eih, eih why why ? You've embarrased her now and her hubby could lay you an ambush to kid-nap you for that. Slip of tongue I guess it was. 1of those things eih ?


DS, I'm divorced mate.

Originally posted by raffee
The question is how would you feel if your brother decided to marry a divorced woman? What would be your immediate response and why?

First, what matters is how he feels before knowing how I feel about his decision. It is his life and he will have to live with his own choice.

I do not have any particular objection of my brother marrying a divorced woman, if at the end she is a good person with all the qualities he is looking for in a future wife.

I will be of course concerned if she has children from a previous marriage as it is a big responsability for him too. At the beginning when someone is in love he might accept everything, but when time comes to actually live with his partner, he might realize that there are real tough obstacles.

What is important is for him to know who she is and if he is ready for such a commitment.

Originally posted by Wanderer
Running Around,

Won't she lose her children to her ex-husband if she remarries to your brother ?


Why would she loose them? :lost:

I know many cases here in Oman where the children stayed with the mom even after she remarried.

Well I do still find it very much normal if my brother comes up to me and says that he would want to get to a lady who is divorced. However for sure you would ask so many questions... but not because I am trying to find one negative point but rather just seeing what he saw in her... you know what i mean ..

And about the woman might loss her kids if she gets married to her second husband I don’t think so... there is no law what so ever that says that here in Oman as far as I know.

However if her first husband is a nasty ***** than who knows anything could work. As i know a lot of potent ional is given to the man here in Oman if it comes to the kids case unless that has changed which I don’t think so!!

Hello there,
Well.. I cant just give my openion according to what I think ...somethings just feel good before we do them (i.e. wanting to marry a certain girl who was divroced b4), and turn out to be good.. Marrying a devorcee could be in some cases much better than marring a person who wasnt married before. It all matters on the person after all. We all make mistakes, and we all learn from experiences, whether they were good or bad.
I wouldnt mind marrying a divorcee if the person was the one I was looking for. Finding the person with the right personality makes it of least importance to make the fact that they were married before alter my plans, or the way I think of them, However, it would be interesting to know more about how their life was (their past), what expecations they had...
It's part of knowing them better.

are we gona be invited for the wedding :p ;)

If you wer talking about me( which I doubt :P), of course u would be if I ever got married :P Everyone would be, if it ever happened, everyone should celebrate that with me :P